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Hitting a woman...
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Author:  Seej19 [ Mon Feb 16, 2015 6:03 am ]
Post subject:  Hitting a woman...

So the love of my life and I broke up about 2 weeks ago...
One of the reasons why we broke up was because she secretly never got over the fact that I got really angry one time and I grabbed her jacket in a very aggressive way and I put my hand around her neck...
I did not choke her or put any force into her neck... I just put my hand on her neck...
For the first few months after that incident after I cried and begged for forgiveness, she said she forgave me but I knew it was very traumatic on her part, and she had very negative feelings towards me...
FYI... She was never actually physically injured... Just emotionally

Anyways after we broke up, she said she never really got over that incident... and she pretty much fell out of love with me because she didn't know I could even get to that point...
I know that i will never do it again... but do you think she's over reacting and being immature?
She's pushed me, choked me and punched me multiple times, but when I do something like that it's like the worst crime of all the time to her.

She all about feminism, and I really want her back with me... but she says things like 'I can't control my feelings' and all this bullshit.

What do you guys think?

Author:  maria_ [ Mon Feb 16, 2015 9:04 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Hitting a woman...

I think it can only escalate into something worse. Leave now before it gets serious.
I know it doesn't make sense to you now but believe me it will be for the best. You'll see in the future.
Feminism is about equality. It doesn't say anywhere that women are allowed to hit men. That's double standards.
If you really want to stay make it clear: no one hits no one under no circumstances. And stick to your word. Even if that breaks once from either party you should be determined to walk away immediately.

Author:  n2thevoid [ Mon Feb 16, 2015 7:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hitting a woman...

This isn't about feminism, but more about an abusive relationship.

I wonder how long before the cops get involved should this continue, and she files for a restraining order. The last thing you want is to have a record and have problems getting employed. It sounds as though you two are traumatizing each other. Abuse usually begins psychologically before it escalate into something physical. And often it starts with simply a hand on the neck. Regardless, nobody should lay hands on anyone especially if its unwelcome. You have to take what she says at face value at this point, that she IS traumatized from the experience - it's not for you to decide whether she's overreacting or not.

Should the two of you decide to continue, I STRONGLY urge the two of you get some form of counselling. You can usually find sliding-scale based counselling services, OR go with an intern (usually its free). If you do a simple google search on local counselling resources in your area that would be a good place to start.

Author:  chantos [ Mon Feb 16, 2015 8:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hitting a woman...

Quote:
So the love of my life and I broke up about 2 weeks ago...
One of the reasons why we broke up was because she secretly never got over the fact that I got really angry one time and I grabbed her jacket in a very aggressive way and I put my hand around her neck...
I did not choke her or put any force into her neck... I just put my hand on her neck...
For the first few months after that incident after I cried and begged for forgiveness, she said she forgave me but I knew it was very traumatic on her part, and she had very negative feelings towards me...
FYI... She was never actually physically injured... Just emotionally

Anyways after we broke up, she said she never really got over that incident... and she pretty much fell out of love with me because she didn't know I could even get to that point...
I know that i will never do it again... but do you think she's over reacting and being immature?
She's pushed me, choked me and punched me multiple times, but when I do something like that it's like the worst crime of all the time to her.

She all about feminism, and I really want her back with me... but she says things like 'I can't control my feelings' and all this bullshit.

What do you guys think?
Never hit a woman unless it is in necessary self-defense. The second she punches you, you put the fear of God into her and then break up with her immediately.

Also for what it's worth you should never cry or beg for forgiveness no matter what. Stupid to do what you did, but amplifying the severity by crying and begging makes it that much worse.

Author:  CharlesFinley [ Tue Feb 17, 2015 1:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hitting a woman...

Quote:
but do you think she's over reacting and being immature?
No I don't.

Author:  ChocolatePUA [ Tue Feb 17, 2015 5:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hitting a woman...

Quote:
So the love of my life and I broke up about 2 weeks ago...
One of the reasons why we broke up was because she secretly never got over the fact that I got really angry one time and I grabbed her jacket in a very aggressive way and I put my hand around her neck...
I did not choke her or put any force into her neck... I just put my hand on her neck...
For the first few months after that incident after I cried and begged for forgiveness, she said she forgave me but I knew it was very traumatic on her part, and she had very negative feelings towards me...
FYI... She was never actually physically injured... Just emotionally

Anyways after we broke up, she said she never really got over that incident... and she pretty much fell out of love with me because she didn't know I could even get to that point...
I know that i will never do it again... but do you think she's over reacting and being immature?
She's pushed me, choked me and punched me multiple times, but when I do something like that it's like the worst crime of all the time to her.

She all about feminism, and I really want her back with me... but she says things like 'I can't control my feelings' and all this bullshit.

What do you guys think?

This is why you don't take BS from ANYONE.

The first time she stepped out of her boundaries you should have made it clear that you would not tolerate being someone else's punching bag, no matter what their gender.
You obviously didn't respect yourself enough for it to make a difference, so now that you've blown a fuse it's a problem because she is the one setting her boundaries.
Let her go, you will find someone else better. And next time, respect yourself enough to walk away if you feel they're not giving you the SPAM you deserve, or else things will just come bubbling over again.

Author:  younglady [ Sat Feb 21, 2015 5:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hitting a woman...

You grab her this time, there's no telling what you'll do next time. She cannot trust you. Stay away from her and don't drag this out.

Author:  n2thevoid [ Sat Feb 21, 2015 6:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Hitting a woman...

UNLESS you're backed into a corner and quite literally your life is in danger, there's no reason to punch anyone at anytime. It's a choice.

You can walk away, almost always.

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