PUA Forum :: Potential GF - What to do with my options/side chicks

There's a chick who I may want to be in a relationship with at some point down the line maybe in a couple months once we know each other better. We've known each other for less than a week and hung out for several days. Is it okay to pursue/fuck women on the side before we're officially in a relationship? I have a couple women I'm semi regularly seeing as FWB and a couple other options who may become FWB. I'm thinking if this potential girlfriend believes I'm fucking around or finds out I'm fucking around, then she may not want to date me seriously. At the same time I don't want to lose touch with my options only to find out that I don't actually wanna date this girl.

Even little things like her glimpsing my phone and seeing a text message from some chick could give off the vibe that I'm sleeping around. Should I lie about who these women are and be discrete, or straight up tell her I'm dating around until we're official? What if she asks to look at my tinder account just for fun ya know and sees some embarrassing pick up attempts? I'm thinking I should tell her no, but I don't want to make it seem like I have anything to hide and feel like I would need some reason to justify not showing my Tinder.

Author:	backIntheGame91 [ Wed Jan 28, 2015 4:13 am ]
Post subject:	Potential GF - What to do with my options/side chicks
There's a chick who I may want to be in a relationship with at some point down the line maybe in a couple months once we know each other better. We've known each other for less than a week and hung out for several days. Is it okay to pursue/fuck women on the side before we're officially in a relationship? I have a couple women I'm semi regularly seeing as FWB and a couple other options who may become FWB. I'm thinking if this potential girlfriend believes I'm fucking around or finds out I'm fucking around, then she may not want to date me seriously. At the same time I don't want to lose touch with my options only to find out that I don't actually wanna date this girl. Even little things like her glimpsing my phone and seeing a text message from some chick could give off the vibe that I'm sleeping around. Should I lie about who these women are and be discrete, or straight up tell her I'm dating around until we're official? What if she asks to look at my tinder account just for fun ya know and sees some embarrassing pick up attempts? I'm thinking I should tell her no, but I don't want to make it seem like I have anything to hide and feel like I would need some reason to justify not showing my Tinder.

Author:	PUA Cyclone [ Wed Jan 28, 2015 9:40 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Potential GF - What to do with my options/side chicks
Straight up tell her -- if it's a relationship you want her to know everything about who you are. Might also increase options for getting a 3-way.

Author:	ChocolatePUA [ Wed Jan 28, 2015 6:10 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Potential GF - What to do with my options/side chicks
Quote: There's a chick who I may want to be in a relationship with at some point down the line maybe in a couple months once we know each other better. We've known each other for less than a week and hung out for several days. Is it okay to pursue/fuck women on the side before we're officially in a relationship? I have a couple women I'm semi regularly seeing as FWB and a couple other options who may become FWB. I'm thinking if this potential girlfriend believes I'm fucking around or finds out I'm fucking around, then she may not want to date me seriously. At the same time I don't want to lose touch with my options only to find out that I don't actually wanna date this girl. Even little things like her glimpsing my phone and seeing a text message from some chick could give off the vibe that I'm sleeping around. Should I lie about who these women are and be discrete, or straight up tell her I'm dating around until we're official? What if she asks to look at my tinder account just for fun ya know and sees some embarrassing pick up attempts? I'm thinking I should tell her no, but I don't want to make it seem like I have anything to hide and feel like I would need some reason to justify not showing my Tinder. If there's no rush to tell her then no need to tell her. However, you should probably come up with an answer in case the question comes up. I don't think you need to tell her everything, but I also don't think you should lie. Also - keep your phone LOCKED. I assume that you met her on Tindr - quite simply, there's no NEED for her to look at your tindr account, messages, or any other personal communication. That's yours, and yours alone.

Author:	JackZero [ Wed Jan 28, 2015 6:28 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Potential GF - What to do with my options/side chicks
Quote: Quote: Is it okay to pursue/fuck women on the side before we're officially in a relationship? Yes. Until exclusivity is verbalized you have no obligation towards her. It is perfectly fine to mess around with other girls. This is not something you brag about to her but neither is it something you deny if she asks you. You are a healthy single man with an abundance of women in your life. Quote: Should I lie about who these women are and be discrete, or straight up tell her I'm dating around until we're official? What if she asks to look at my tinder account just for fun ya know and sees some embarrassing pick up attempts? You should not create a problem when there is none. Be discrete but dont deny it. No need to bring up your previous relationships if she doesnt. If she asks to look at your accounts she has trust issues and shes creating a very weak fundament for you two to build your relationship on. You should never give in to her demands to go through your private messages, accounts or anything of that sort. Even in a relationship you are individuals who have their needs for privacy, this goes double for things that were said and done before you officially became a couple. Good Luck. +1 Excellent breakdown. I would also add that you never be the one who brings up the discussion about the two of you being exclusive.

Author:	Eddie Fews [ Wed Jan 28, 2015 7:58 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Potential GF - What to do with my options/side chicks
First things first man.. And I want ALL the men on the website to understand this clearly. A woman power is only in your fear of what she might do. One of the most unattractive things to a woman is a man who is afraid of her in any form shape or capacity. You're bigger, stronger, faster, with a bigger brain. Why on earth would you have any fear of anything a woman can do? If you are afraid that she will leave, she will intuitively sense this out and she will leave. Because your fear obviously means that you believe there is potential for her to find better. Now a lot of the fear begins to manifest itself after excess ejaculations, but thats not what we're hear to talk about and something you should probably look into on your own. It does create anxiety and fears though. I find that I'm the most insecure when I'm actively having sex with lots of women often. Ironic isn't it? This isn't really popular within todays culture today but Women naturally cleave to authority. Its embedded in their nature for them to do so. So they will cleave to the opposite of whatever your fear is. Because thats not an area of your life that you are displaying authority in. So.. She has no access to your phone, tinder, Facebook etc.. Tell her no. Simple. She may test you by trying to emotionally make you feel bad about not letting her, but don't fall for it. Just stand your ground. She'll love you more when you display that strength. Next time she looks over at your phone, if and only if it makes you uncomfortable with her doing so say " Hey, i don't want this to become an issue for us in the future so I'd prefer that you not look over at my phone when I pull it out. If there is something you would like to ask me about where we stand. just ask me. I'll answer. But my phone is my personal properly. And i'd respect and care for you a lot more if you would respect that. " Communicate man.. Women will love you and respect you for it.

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Author:	dtrak [ Wed Jan 28, 2015 8:11 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Potential GF - What to do with my options/side chicks
If you're dating her, it shouldnt matter to her what else you do when you are not with her. Just like it shouldn't matter to you what she does. You guys have not signed a contract. Obviously you should not flash around that you're dating other chicks or sleeping around or even talk about it, thats lame and it will repell her and cause drama. Just enjoy your time with her and if the topic comes up, which should not, say you like hanging with her and dont really care about anyone else at the moment blah blah change topic. or say what you feel bro. Is good that you have options, it will subcommunicate, you dont need to show her, she'll feel your cool vibes and non neediness which will make her more attracted. Do what you want to do with her and prioritize your options. Play it smart. If you guys are not official, she shouldnt be snooping around your shit. You as a man should do a good job of keeping shit that will cause drama away from her anyway. get it?

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