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I don`t know what to say or how to mantain conversation
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=187291		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  gabyz3ro [ Tue Jan 20, 2015 8:54 pm ]
Post subject:  I don`t know what to say or how to mantain conversation
I am 19 years old.I am from Romania.I know about game about 3 years .I probably read hundreds of articles on about the game but the only action i took was about half a year ago when i did two direct aproches saying:
"Hello.Can i have your phone number?" and even if got rejected i felt awsome.Over the past 3 years when i was at home i was feeling good because i was playing games all day but when i was at school i was feeling very bad beacasue i was lonely and didn`t talked to anyone and to feel better i was imagining myself having succes with women and having a lot of beautiful girls.Now i got in a Computer Science college this year and i started to loose the faith that i will became good with women .But today it all camed back to me.I want to start developing my personality and start talking to girls but the problem is that i am to deep the opposite way.I need your help.
My main problem is that i cannot hold a conversation longer than 1-2 minutes.The words/ideas don`t came to mind.When i talk to my collegues i am only able to talk about school courses or the programming carrer.
Here is my list of things i want to do to my development:
-Hit the gym (already started for 1 week and i like it.i went before in highschool also)
-keep a diary so i don`t loose the motivation again and analize the actions that i am taking from the game perspective.
-to develop my conversation skill i will start talking to forums and online chats and in about 2 weeks i will start doing facebook aproaches if i get good enough and try to think of the things i will talk about before i get in a social situation
-i will make print some random flyiers and go to another city to "spread them" to girls(because i don`t have the guts to aproach anymore and i think this will help me)
I think the most important part is the social skill and mine right now is at a very low point .
If you have some advice for me please help especilly about improving my social skills.I need to do this.
Author:  Camanova [ Wed Jan 21, 2015 12:33 am ]
Post subject:  Re: I don`t know what to say or how to mantain conversation
Hey man!

I'd strongly recommend the newbie mission. Go to a mall or busy place near you and simply say hi to every woman you see, perhaps just anyone you see. This will help you to come out of your shell and get you to start loosening up.

You mentioned speaking on forums and facebook approaches etc. Personally man I think this will make things worse you need to be speaking people face to face for it to change. When you go to gym say hi and speak to people there, when your shopping speaking to the person behind the check out, join a club (like a sport club) and make some friends and expand your social circle. If there are chances to combine your team with another through your course do it. The only way to overcome your social anxiety is to get out and talk to people, sure it's going to be tough at first but think of it like a game, every time you speak to someone your experience points go up and you become better and better. Before long you'll be able to talk to anyone for as long as you want.

Get some good hobbies under your belt so that you can talk about them and hopefully have something in common with the person your speaking to. This makes you are more interesting person as well.

Good luck
Author:  dtrak [ Wed Jan 21, 2015 1:46 am ]
Post subject:  Re: I don`t know what to say or how to mantain conversation
My advice to all 19 yr olds with no experience

#1 Gym/Eat healthy
#2 Develop good sense of style, dress well, be well groomed
#3 Be social, go to parties, make new friends, join clubs you like , do activities
#4 Have hobbies, invite friends to hobbies, join friends, be proactive about getting together with friends
#5 talk to girls, dont hit on them, make female friends, learn how females think
#6 In a club or a party talk to girls and hit on them, have female friends introduce you or introduce yourself
#7 enjoy all of the above
#8 failure to do any of the above will result in frustration and epic failure.
#9 Use your head and dont be a creep. If you're creeping girls out you're doing it wrong, come back to the forums and let us help you.
#10 all these steps should flow together naturally and feel good

*peace*
Author:  gabyz3ro [ Wed Jan 21, 2015 12:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I don`t know what to say or how to mantain conversation
Camanova - thanks for the advice.I will try to initiate conversation with the people i came across.I hope i will get to a point where the others initiate conversation with me also.
dtrak - thanks.Because i am not a social person means that my decizion making process regarding social activities is the problem.Those comendaments will give me an advance.
Author:  dtrak [ Wed Jan 21, 2015 6:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I don`t know what to say or how to mantain conversation
Quote:
thanks.Because i am not a social person means that my decizion making process regarding social activities is the problem.Those comendaments will give me an advance.
So you say your problem is not knowing how to be social.

When i was 16 years old i was shy, socially awkward, hung out with people just like me and i couldnt get far with girls.


How did i change?

I started doing diffrent things, doing cool activities, getting my friends to go to parties, making new friends... relating with new people, getting to know new people, doing new things like play less video games play more sports have cooler hobbies like making music then you can relate more to people.

Guys are easy to socialize with, all you gota do is talk about sports and girls or any random shit

Build up your social garden.

The reason you think you dont know how to socialize is because you're probably home on the computer all day or home all day. Get yourself out there, be proactive, do stuff like the people you see do, and it will all fall into place.

You dont need techniques, you dont need bullshit, just get your ass out the house and do something diffrent.

Getting laid is all about socializing, go out and do that first, have cool hobbies, build a good life for yourself, a balanced life.

I'm sure you're having these issues because if i were to step into your life i would probably see you doing the same shit everyday, not changing anything.

Make a change

Quote:
thanks for the advice.I will try to initiate conversation with the people i came across.I hope i will get to a point where the others initiate conversation with me also
Of course there'll be a point where people will make conversation with you also
But guess what? forget about that, be proactive about you and your life and what you want in your life
Stop depending on people to do shit for you
No one gives a fuck about you but you.
Make shit happen.

Alot of guys think they can learn something and then everything just happens
Hell no, life is all about everyday survival, everyday you got to get up and make shit happen, not sit around waiting for shit to happen

You know what happens to people who sit around waiting for shit to happen?

They slowly die inside and comform, get led by mainstream society into living a dictated bullshit life they arent even happy with.

You know what happens to people who take action?

They change the fucking world.

Who do you want to be?

I'm not saying you need to change the world, but do you want the world to change you?

Thats what happens when you sit around waiting.

Take the right action and you'll see how it all falls into place
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