PUA Forum :: I made a classic mistake! What do I do?

In short I asked her to be in an LTR and she said she wanted to take it slow.

Quote:

In short I asked her to be in an LTR and she said she wanted to take it slow.

You answered your own question, sort of.

What do you do? Take it slow.

She clearly is into you - you're screwing like rabbits. It's not like she's withholding sex or you're not getting what you want out of this right now. Why are you so anxious to lock this down?

If you back off and freeze out, you're just going to piss her off - when she hasn't really done anything wrong here. 6 weeks is kinda fast, man.

Just pretend nothing happened. Take her out and continue as normal. When she's ready for a relationship, SHE will let YOU know.

Quote:

Just pretend nothing happened. Take her out and continue as normal. When she's ready for a relationship, SHE will let YOU know.

Bingo. It never happened. She wants to have fun with you so go for it.

Quote:

In short I asked her to be in an LTR and she said she wanted to take it slow.

It sounds a little weak if you ask me and I can't picture many quality women being interested in a man that just wants to give himself away so easily. An LTR should be something SHE tries to push you into. Why is that something you want? Please explain that to me.

Quote:

I can answer that.

Because my freedom is not Worth shit ! Unless I'm getting my balls cut off by the cardinal, I dont intend on screaming freedom.

1- I could be in love way before the girl.
2- I'm free anyway, even in a LTR, im still 100% free, with the power to ditch her at any planck second. Ditching Relationship is easy, if only getting one was that much easy.

Maybe I'm a women bro, because I have feelings. Yeah, that must be it ! Maybe because I feel special next to a girl..... because sometimes when I get really fucking damn Lucky I get to be next to a girl that makes me feel like a man... That makes me feel good.

Answer my questions plz :

1- Why do I feel so often I can't share my love toughts?
2- Why the fuck, ok WHY, WHY can't I say to a girl I love her when I know she doesnt love me back? I have these ''you got a chance to get me'' relationships, but they commit rarely, they commit when I fucking play a good game. I just feel like burning it to the ground, and say like ''you can do whatever but here is what I feel about you''. And then I just fucking leave, because even with the possibility in the air, I just feel it has no chance of working !

What love is, over the 14,000 volumes I could write about love. What is written on the top is the most ugly definition I could find, and sadly, the true one : You love someone when you feel like a better person. In fact, you don't love someone, you love yourself and you're just ''loving'' someone else to find who you truly are.

Can I ever back track and say that I realised that I don't want a relationship and in essence, pull my cards off the table?

Can I not start to disqualify her to make her qualify herself to me? Her actions and body language are constantly girlfriend like.

1- I could be in love way before the girl.
2- I'm free anyway, even in a LTR, im still 100% free, with the power to ditch her at any planck second. Ditching Relationship is easy, if only getting one was that much easy.

Author:	Ctrlindustries [ Tue Nov 25, 2014 10:20 am ]
Post subject:	I made a classic mistake! What do I do?
I noticed the forum rules: I know how to get gfs. I just made an error a little early into the process I need help on. In short I asked her to be in an LTR and she said she wanted to take it slow. We had been on 6 dates over 1.5 months. I was so into her that i had a small EOB. Crap! I realised my error after. What's best way of going about this to turn table to get her to commit even though I have revealed my cards? Step back and no contact periods? i already know that I have asked for commitment and too quickly also. In long: We met on POF and she has moved from Scotland to UK so she doesn't know a lot of people at all aside from workers at her restaurant. Things escalated to sex on first date after we went out. It couldn't have gone any better. Everything was done to the T. Kino, conversation, comfort building, attraction, to her coming to my place. We met up the next week for an all day sex session which was great. We've been on 5 dates and had sex every time we see each other and she almost does everything. I'm into her yes. She also said she isn't seeing anyone else also. She hasn't had the best relationships before either and seems to appreciate things. She also said that she got rid of her pof account but it shows up online still but I don't have mine. You can just google a profile before people start with the "why do you still have yours then?". Why does she need to even say this? She also isn't settled and doesn't have anywhere to stay aside from staying at her aunts place in Staines. On a lot of dates we will spend two nights together rather than just the one. So you could say that each time we've spent more time together and she is happy with it. She also said just to give as much background as anyone wants to use, she said she hasn't told her mum about us but that's not a big deal. I don't tell me mum anything. Haha. Her friends know about me though. And whilst on her period she said that it's BJ and steak weak and hasn't disappointed at all. This is like a guys dream attitude to the situation. If you have any questions you wanna ask I'm happy to assist so we can all Have the best help. Thanks a lot.

Author:	CharlesFinley [ Tue Nov 25, 2014 1:38 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I made a classic mistake! What do I do?
Quote: In short I asked her to be in an LTR and she said she wanted to take it slow. You answered your own question, sort of. What do you do? Take it slow. She clearly is into you - you're screwing like rabbits. It's not like she's withholding sex or you're not getting what you want out of this right now. Why are you so anxious to lock this down? If you back off and freeze out, you're just going to piss her off - when she hasn't really done anything wrong here. 6 weeks is kinda fast, man. Just pretend nothing happened. Take her out and continue as normal. When she's ready for a relationship, SHE will let YOU know.

Author:	breedlove465 [ Tue Nov 25, 2014 2:35 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I made a classic mistake! What do I do?
Quote: Quote: In short I asked her to be in an LTR and she said she wanted to take it slow. You answered your own question, sort of. What do you do? Take it slow. She clearly is into you - you're screwing like rabbits. It's not like she's withholding sex or you're not getting what you want out of this right now. Why are you so anxious to lock this down? If you back off and freeze out, you're just going to piss her off - when she hasn't really done anything wrong here. 6 weeks is kinda fast, man. Just pretend nothing happened. Take her out and continue as normal. When she's ready for a relationship, SHE will let YOU know. Bingo. It never happened. She wants to have fun with you so go for it.

Author:	Ctrlindustries [ Tue Nov 25, 2014 2:41 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I made a classic mistake! What do I do?
Quote: Quote: Quote: Just pretend nothing happened. Take her out and continue as normal. When she's ready for a relationship, SHE will let YOU know. Bingo. It never happened. She wants to have fun with you so go for it. History has a habit of repeating itself and behaviours are also predictable. So I should mention nothing more about this and she will bring it up by herself later? No need to start either sending mixed signals even though nothing is being withheld from me or like you said just carry on at it going out and having fun etc?

Author:	CharlesFinley [ Tue Nov 25, 2014 3:11 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I made a classic mistake! What do I do?
Moved to general questions - she's not your girlfriend. Yes. Just have fun with it, man. 6 weeks is very quick anyway... You should not be so anxious to lock this down. If she doesn't want to be exclusive, you have the option to see other women as well.

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Author:	Eddie Fews [ Tue Nov 25, 2014 5:57 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I made a classic mistake! What do I do?
Well first I want to ask you why on earth are you volunteering to give away your freedom? What is it that you are going to gain from a relationship that you can not gain from casual dating? I never understood that feminine in guys that just makes them want to jump into a relationship. I can understand a girl wanting to be in one because it will provide her with protection, stability and security. What is it that you get from it as a man that you can't get from casual dating? It sounds a little weak if you ask me and I can't picture many quality women being interested in a man that just wants to give himself away so easily. An LTR should be something SHE tries to push you into. Why is that something you want? Please explain that to me. It sounds like a girl wrote this post. No offense.

Author:	Ctrlindustries [ Wed Nov 26, 2014 10:20 am ]
Post subject:	Re: I made a classic mistake! What do I do?
Quote: Quote: In short I asked her to be in an LTR and she said she wanted to take it slow. You answered your own question, sort of. What do you do? Take it slow. She clearly is into you - you're screwing like rabbits. It's not like she's withholding sex or you're not getting what you want out of this right now. Why are you so anxious to lock this down? If you back off and freeze out, you're just going to piss her off - when she hasn't really done anything wrong here. 6 weeks is kinda fast, man. Just pretend nothing happened. Take her out and continue as normal. When she's ready for a relationship, SHE will let YOU know. Thanks for this.

Author:	ConsciousLuv [ Thu Nov 27, 2014 3:27 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I made a classic mistake! What do I do?
Quote: It sounds a little weak if you ask me and I can't picture many quality women being interested in a man that just wants to give himself away so easily. An LTR should be something SHE tries to push you into. Why is that something you want? Please explain that to me. I can answer that. Because my freedom is not Worth shit ! Unless I'm getting my balls cut off by the cardinal, I dont intend on screaming freedom. 1- I could be in love way before the girl. 2- I'm free anyway, even in a LTR, im still 100% free, with the power to ditch her at any planck second. Ditching Relationship is easy, if only getting one was that much easy. Maybe I'm a women bro, because I have feelings. Yeah, that must be it ! Maybe because I feel special next to a girl..... because sometimes when I get really fucking damn Lucky I get to be next to a girl that makes me feel like a man... That makes me feel good. Answer my questions plz : 1- Why do I feel so often I can't share my love toughts? 2- Why the fuck, ok WHY, WHY can't I say to a girl I love her when I know she doesnt love me back? I have these ''you got a chance to get me'' relationships, but they commit rarely, they commit when I fucking play a good game. I just feel like burning it to the ground, and say like ''you can do whatever but here is what I feel about you''. And then I just fucking leave, because even with the possibility in the air, I just feel it has no chance of working ! What love is, over the 14,000 volumes I could write about love. What is written on the top is the most ugly definition I could find, and sadly, the true one : You love someone when you feel like a better person. In fact, you don't love someone, you love yourself and you're just ''loving'' someone else to find who you truly are.

Author:	Eddie Fews [ Thu Nov 27, 2014 3:35 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I made a classic mistake! What do I do?
Quote: Quote: It sounds a little weak if you ask me and I can't picture many quality women being interested in a man that just wants to give himself away so easily. An LTR should be something SHE tries to push you into. Why is that something you want? Please explain that to me. I can answer that. Because my freedom is not Worth shit ! Unless I'm getting my balls cut off by the cardinal, I dont intend on screaming freedom. 1- I could be in love way before the girl. 2- I'm free anyway, even in a LTR, im still 100% free, with the power to ditch her at any planck second. Ditching Relationship is easy, if only getting one was that much easy. Maybe I'm a women bro, because I have feelings. Yeah, that must be it ! Maybe because I feel special next to a girl..... because sometimes when I get really fucking damn Lucky I get to be next to a girl that makes me feel like a man... That makes me feel good. Answer my questions plz : 1- Why do I feel so often I can't share my love toughts? 2- Why the fuck, ok WHY, WHY can't I say to a girl I love her when I know she doesnt love me back? I have these ''you got a chance to get me'' relationships, but they commit rarely, they commit when I fucking play a good game. I just feel like burning it to the ground, and say like ''you can do whatever but here is what I feel about you''. And then I just fucking leave, because even with the possibility in the air, I just feel it has no chance of working ! What love is, over the 14,000 volumes I could write about love. What is written on the top is the most ugly definition I could find, and sadly, the true one : You love someone when you feel like a better person. In fact, you don't love someone, you love yourself and you're just ''loving'' someone else to find who you truly are. I think you missed my point conciouslove.. I tell girls I love them when I first meet them all the time if I do. You definitely missed my point. But no worries; you're still new. You'll get familiar with me.

Author:	Ctrlindustries [ Sun Nov 30, 2014 5:19 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I made a classic mistake! What do I do?
Can I ever back track and say that I realised that I don't want a relationship and in essence, pull my cards off the table? Can I not start to disqualify her to make her qualify herself to me? Her actions and body language are constantly girlfriend like.

Author:	Versalis [ Mon Dec 01, 2014 3:17 am ]
Post subject:	Re: I made a classic mistake! What do I do?
Quote: Can I ever back track and say that I realised that I don't want a relationship and in essence, pull my cards off the table? Can I not start to disqualify her to make her qualify herself to me? Her actions and body language are constantly girlfriend like. Please stop trying to apply Mystery Method to girlfriends. Whatever dubious value it has in clubs has zero to do with getting a girlfriend. I'm not sure why you think that having a word applied to your relationship with her, somehow changes it. You have what you have. Whether she calls you her friend, her lover, her boyfriend or her soulmate. What you say you want is her promise. Promise of what? It makes no sense. Whatever bond you have, you have. Having a discussion about "the future" still changes nothing about what you have. What you are asking is how to force her to do something she doesn't want to do. Ok. Get her pregnant. There. That may tip her hand. However, I would ask you why you want to be in a relationship with a woman who doesn't want to be in one with you? It seems to me, you like the idea of this girl, more than the girl herself. If you really want her, then she has to come to it on her own. If you two are right together, then it will happen. If not, there are plenty of other girls you'll like just as much as her(and probably some you'll like more).

Author:	CharlesFinley [ Mon Dec 01, 2014 1:45 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I made a classic mistake! What do I do?
Quote: Can I ever back track and say that I realised that I don't want a relationship and in essence, pull my cards off the table? Can I not start to disqualify her to make her qualify herself to me? Her actions and body language are constantly girlfriend like. I just replied to your PM as well, Ctrlindustries --- Versalis is correct though (and I told you that before in a PM too) - you're simply trying to push this forward too fast... and you can't manipulate her into changing her pace using MM or a freeze out of a push-pull or anything like that. Treat her like your girlfriend, and she will be soon enough (if you don't freak her out with all the weird behavior).

Author:	breedlove465 [ Mon Dec 01, 2014 2:56 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I made a classic mistake! What do I do?
Quote: 1- I could be in love way before the girl. 2- I'm free anyway, even in a LTR, im still 100% free, with the power to ditch her at any planck second. Ditching Relationship is easy, if only getting one was that much easy. Bingo. You want to lock this girl down because you are scared that you won't be able to find another one. You are coming from a scarcity mindset. Having this mindset is the worst thing you can do. When you aren't spending time with this girl (Yall aren't dating, never see her more than twice a week, once a week most weeks) you should be out getting other girls.

Author:	Jay (Majik) [ Tue Dec 02, 2014 5:20 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I made a classic mistake! What do I do?
Don't EVER.... EVER, EVER, EVER! Bring up the relationship thing with a girl. Let HER bring that up. What the fuck man? You've got a good thing going on for yourself... Why do you want to put a label on it? So you can put it on Facebook? Quit trying to own a girl and learn how to have fun with women. That's your mistake.

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