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What should I do?
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Author:  Countrrry [ Thu Nov 20, 2014 12:35 am ]
Post subject:  What should I do?
Okay, so I've been into this girl for quite sometime. A real sweetheart, but I've never really treated her well. She's into me aswell which is sweet! But we've had a few tough times and she has major trust issues, certainly with me although I would never cheat. This could be a very long story but i'll keep it as short as possible.

Anyway fast forward a few months, I've done a lot of AFC things in that time, and although theres feelings for each other we decided (mainly her, trust issues) we are best as friends. Which I suppose is good because I don't want to lose her completely. I ask to hang out and stuff as friends and she says its too soon, I presume she's worried about getting too close to me again. Anyway I told her that there was something I wanted to tell her but it had to be face to face but she said she wouldnt meet me unless it was really important. I said it was, but she insisted that I had to tell her now. I thought about it for a day or two and then thought I'd ask to meet again and if she didnt I'd just tell her.

So she said no so I had to tell her,

Me: So next year
Her: What about it
Me: Im making plans to join the RAF, well im making them now
Her: Well thats good right
Me: yeahh
Her: well then
Me: just wanted to tell you because i'll be gone
Her: Why
Me: Why what?
Her: Why gone
Me: they'll send me away
Her: Why haven't you told me til now
Me: ive wanted to tell you for ages
Her: But you forgot to mention it
Me: no its always been on my mind
Her: Great
Me: as in always wanted to tell you
Her:Bye
Me: just what i wanted to hear
Her: Don't talk to me
Me: why
Her:No point now
Me: so we cant stay friends

Conversation over just like that. Can anybody read between the lines and tell me what shes thinking, and what you think I should do?
Author:  JackZero [ Thu Nov 20, 2014 12:42 am ]
Post subject:  Re: What should I do?
She likes you but she wants to keep her options open. It sounds like she has options.
Author:  wildcard198 [ Thu Nov 20, 2014 12:49 am ]
Post subject:  Re: What should I do?
Her trust issues are evident in those messages.

I would give it some time, and let her contact you.
Author:  Stenic1 [ Thu Nov 20, 2014 12:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What should I do?
Quote:
Her trust issues are evident in those messages.

I would give it some time, and let her contact you.
How is her trust issues evident in those messages ?

Shes just pissed because shes into you and your leaving her for the RAF and hadnt told her sooner.
No big deal. Loads of woman out there who can make you feel the way she does.

peace
Author:  oceanx [ Thu Nov 20, 2014 12:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What should I do?
Quote:
I told her that there was something I wanted to tell her but it had to be face to face but she said she wouldnt meet me unless it was really important. I said it was, but she insisted that I had to tell her now. I thought about it for a day or two and then thought I'd ask to meet again and if she didnt I'd just tell her.
Good grief. She doesn't respect this friendship with you.
Quote:
So she said no so I had to tell her,
No you didn't.

Learn to playfully challenge and be a challenge.

Could have replied to this, "nope, in person or i won't tell you."

Their curiosity will get the best of them in most cases.

Just forget this girl and move on to more deserving girls.
Author:  Countrrry [ Thu Nov 20, 2014 2:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What should I do?
Thanks for the advice everybody, Ill answer each and collectively as best I can.
Quote:
She likes you but she wants to keep her options open. It sounds like she has options.
Yes, I believe you're right, she as I, have options. We are both aware of this as well which causes a few trust issues.
Quote:
Quote:
I told her that there was something I wanted to tell her but it had to be face to face but she said she wouldnt meet me unless it was really important. I said it was, but she insisted that I had to tell her now. I thought about it for a day or two and then thought I'd ask to meet again and if she didnt I'd just tell her.
Good grief. She doesn't respect this friendship with you.

Quote:
So she said no so I had to tell her,
No you didn't.
Learn to playfully challenge and be a challenge.

Could have replied to this, "nope, in person or i won't tell you."

Their curiosity will get the best of them in most cases.

Just forget this girl and move on to more deserving girls.
1. She's as much of a game player as me, she almost wants to be the Alpha here and previously she's won. But I'm changing that.

2. I realise now that I didn't have to tell her, but as you might guess I've been a bit of a f*cking chump when it comes to this girl.

I'm not going to contact her again, I'll completely freeze her out. Yes in the hope that she'll come back, which I'm sure she will, but I'll have the upper hand and i'll be in control. I'll stay in control.

Positive?
Author:  oceanx [ Thu Nov 20, 2014 3:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What should I do?
Quote:
as you might guess I've been a bit of a f*cking chump when it comes to this girl.
I wouldn't guess that man. She's acting odd. You are deserving of a woman who treats you with respect you deserve bro.
Author:  Countrrry [ Thu Nov 20, 2014 5:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What should I do?
Cheers dude, she is acting odd! I've always been a fixer try to fix other peoples problems (hers). Im freezing her out and continuing to game other women. Right now I'm not in search of a relationship, I just want to have fun, meet as many cool people on the way. I've read some of your other posts oceanx you give good advice bro, advice I'd give if I was commenting so I'm happy to take yours! Peace
Author:  Dragula [ Thu Nov 20, 2014 5:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What should I do?
Quote:
Can anybody read between the lines and tell me what she's thinking,

Yeah, she doesn't want you to go.
Author:  Countrrry [ Thu Nov 20, 2014 5:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What should I do?
Quote:
Quote:
Can anybody read between the lines and tell me what she's thinking,

Yeah, she doesn't want you to go.
I got that dude ;) she won't talk to me now.
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Thu Nov 20, 2014 7:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What should I do?
If you're truly going to be "gone" why drag someone into a situation that has intimate feelings for you? Just be gone. What is it that you want?
Author:  Countrrry [ Thu Nov 20, 2014 7:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What should I do?
Quote:
If you're truly going to be "gone" why drag someone into a situation that has intimate feelings for you? Just be gone. What is it that you want?
I will be leaving early 2015, around march. I didn't realise her feelings were so intimate, that being said even if I did realise, she deserved to know right?

I want our friendship to remain, she means alot to me, we've been through alot together. I've supported her through some tough times and she's helped me.
Author:  JackZero [ Thu Nov 20, 2014 7:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What should I do?
Quote:
I will be leaving early 2015, around march. I didn't realise her feelings were so intimate, that being said even if I did realise, she deserved to know right?

I want our friendship to remain, she means alot to me, we've been through alot together. I've supported her through some tough times and she's helped me.
100% bullshit. How many of your other friends have you had to tell this in person because they also deserved to know? You guys are playing childish games with one another. Your purpose was to try to make her react to you leaving and not seeing you anymore. Now she's playing back by trying to put you on the defensive. It's a game of emotional control and right now she's winning.

Friends don't do this shit to one another.
Author:  Countrrry [ Thu Nov 20, 2014 8:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What should I do?
Quote:
Quote:
I will be leaving early 2015, around march. I didn't realise her feelings were so intimate, that being said even if I did realise, she deserved to know right?

I want our friendship to remain, she means alot to me, we've been through alot together. I've supported her through some tough times and she's helped me.
100% bullshit. How many of your other friends have you had to tell this in person because they also deserved to know? You guys are playing childish games with one another. Your purpose was to try to make her react to you leaving and not seeing you anymore. Now she's playing back by trying to put you on the defensive. It's a game of emotional control and right now she's winning.

Friends don't do this shit to one another.
I've told my best friends and my parents. Rather than telling me I'm taking bullshit you could have put something constructive but thanks for your time.
Author:  JackZero [ Thu Nov 20, 2014 8:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What should I do?
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
I will be leaving early 2015, around march. I didn't realise her feelings were so intimate, that being said even if I did realise, she deserved to know right?

I want our friendship to remain, she means alot to me, we've been through alot together. I've supported her through some tough times and she's helped me.
100% bullshit. How many of your other friends have you had to tell this in person because they also deserved to know? You guys are playing childish games with one another. Your purpose was to try to make her react to you leaving and not seeing you anymore. Now she's playing back by trying to put you on the defensive. It's a game of emotional control and right now she's winning.

Friends don't do this shit to one another.
I've told my best friends and my parents. Rather than telling me I'm taking bullshit you could have put something constructive but thanks for your time.
I'm still going to stick to it. It's bullshit. Did you tell your guy friends that same way? Text them that you had something to tell them but it would have to be face to face?

And my constructive criticism stays the same:
1. You guys are playing with each others emotions to get the other to react.
2. Friends shouldn't do that to each other.
3. She's winning the emotional control game.
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