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Girl goes cold after (great) sex. Why?
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Author:  Moscow [ Tue Nov 04, 2014 6:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Girl goes cold after (great) sex. Why?
About three weeks ago, I went on a second date with a Tinder girl..first date she blew me and we had a great time.
She even texted me a few days after that saying she wanted really good sex....So of course, I set up another date, and it goes very well again....I fucked her really well..I know I did that's not the issue.

So again a few days after that she says she wanted sex again. She mentions sex more than I do, yet she gave tons of anti slut defense the first date...claiming she was virgin until just a few months ago, saying "I don't usually do this". "I don't want you to think I'm a slut". I plowed right through that no problem.

But even after the sex date, adn after she said she wants it again, she has slowly been going more and more cold. Flaking on me the past two weeks for genuine reasons, but flakes nonetheless. Slowly she stopped responding to my texts, and in general going cold. She liked my pics on instagram tho from halloween so she at least doesn't hate me.

What to do to rekindle a relationship, getting some feels for this girl...she was super smart and had an innocent vibe..although she's probably a slut.
Author:  JackZero [ Tue Nov 04, 2014 6:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl goes cold after (great) sex. Why?
This type of question always confuses me because it's like you say everything is good. You don't describe yourself as being particularly needy or saying anything that should repulse her. But then you say this:
Quote:
I fucked her really well..I know I did that's not the issue.
In my experience, when you have sex with a woman and it is great, she is hard pressed to give it up when the guy does nothing wrong. So either you'll have to elaborate a bit on the details of your communication so we can pinpoint what went wrong or be ready to accept that maybe the sex isn't as good as you thought it was.
Author:  Hunter_Foxe [ Tue Nov 04, 2014 8:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl goes cold after (great) sex. Why?
You are probably being too avaliable.

How often are you texting / messaging / calling her?
Author:  Moscow [ Tue Nov 04, 2014 8:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl goes cold after (great) sex. Why?
Quote:
You are probably being too avaliable.

How often are you texting / messaging / calling her?

This actually sounds very viable. I attempt to talk to her about 2-3 times a week, but less obviously since shes been going cold. Everytime i talk to her I try to set something...
Author:  Moscow [ Tue Nov 04, 2014 8:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl goes cold after (great) sex. Why?
Quote:
This type of question always confuses me because it's like you say everything is good. You don't describe yourself as being particularly needy or saying anything that should repulse her. But then you say this:
Quote:
I fucked her really well..I know I did that's not the issue.
In my experience, when you have sex with a woman and it is great, she is hard pressed to give it up when the guy does nothing wrong. So either you'll have to elaborate a bit on the details of your communication so we can pinpoint what went wrong or be ready to accept that maybe the sex isn't as good as you thought it was.

To be quite honest there is nothing else to elaborate on. communication was always kept short and simple and fun. contact her maybe 2-3 times a week, but less since shes been going cold. every week since date 1 ive been trying to set something up.. perhaps I am too available, as the other guy mentioned.
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Tue Nov 04, 2014 9:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl goes cold after (great) sex. Why?
Sounds like a slut bro.

I had a girl friend zone me after I had sex with her on the 2nd floor of an empty diner, but I began to get the feels after the rush of the experience. She claimed I treated her like a whore, she can't continue to see someone like me. I was hurt man, but I just charged it to the game. Your thoughts of her will pass. Just don't continue hitting her up and she may come back around. But chasing her won't help.
Author:  Hunter_Foxe [ Tue Nov 04, 2014 10:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl goes cold after (great) sex. Why?
Based on your PM, you destroyed attraction by being way too needy and available.
Author:  White Panda [ Mon Nov 10, 2014 2:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl goes cold after (great) sex. Why?
I think the problem has to do more with the frame.. observe:

You explained how SHE wanted good sex, how SHE doesn’t do this often, how SHE wanted to do it again... and all along you’re adapting your game to that. What about you? Was she doing the things you wanted?

I see this problem occur a lot especially when guys go out of their way to give the girl the amazing sex she wants. Now the girls know she controls the frame. If she wakes up and realizes she doesn’t want sex for a while (entirely plausible for women), then you are disposable. To her, you’re the guy thats going to give her sex or whatever else she wants.

I like to flip the script. I dont care if I’ve given the girl the best sex of her life, so long as I did the things that please ME and that I make her feel like she was investing to satisfy me (both on the date and during sex). Now the frame revolves around my plan, and the girl cannot help but get sucked in.

Think about it, which is she going to want to see most?
- The guy who worked really hard to give her the sex she wanted
- The guy she worked really hard to please physically and mentally

There’s no problem with setting up meetings, that’s not needy. If she worked hard to please you last time and naturally you want to reward her by seeing her again. Its all about fixing the frame!

Good luck :D

ps: You can check out my blog for more info: Tinder Advisor
Author:  Moscow [ Mon Nov 10, 2014 5:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl goes cold after (great) sex. Why?
Quote:
I think the problem has to do more with the frame.. observe:

You explained how SHE wanted good sex, how SHE doesn’t do this often, how SHE wanted to do it again... and all along you’re adapting your game to that. What about you? Was she doing the things you wanted?

I see this problem occur a lot especially when guys go out of their way to give the girl the amazing sex she wants. Now the girls know she controls the frame. If she wakes up and realizes she doesn’t want sex for a while (entirely plausible for women), then you are disposable. To her, you’re the guy thats going to give her sex or whatever else she wants.

I like to flip the script. I dont care if I’ve given the girl the best sex of her life, so long as I did the things that please ME and that I make her feel like she was investing to satisfy me (both on the date and during sex). Now the frame revolves around my plan, and the girl cannot help but get sucked in.

Think about it, which is she going to want to see most?
- The guy who worked really hard to give her the sex she wanted
- The guy she worked really hard to please physically and mentally

There’s no problem with setting up meetings, that’s not needy. If she worked hard to please you last time and naturally you want to reward her by seeing her again. Its all about fixing the frame!

Good luck :D

ps: You can check out my blog for more info: Tinder Advisor
Interesting view. I Like it
Author:  enlightenmentdating [ Mon Nov 10, 2014 7:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl goes cold after (great) sex. Why?
Odds are dude, you didn’t establish enough of a connection with her in order for her to feel close with you. You’re just more of a fvck buddy to her, and until you actually establish some real emotions in her, she’ll be flaky. But if you’re just looking for a fvck buddy as well, just make sure you take control of the interactions. Put the ball in her court, and DON’T GET OFFENDED BY HER FLAKINESS. Most guys make this mistake and it comes across as very needy, trust me bro, this will just drive her further away. Then again if she truly is a really hot girl, she probably does have a lot going on in her life. Her cancelations might be authentic, so don’t get mad at her about it.
Author:  fishnwomen [ Tue Nov 11, 2014 3:32 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl goes cold after (great) sex. Why?
You are too available, as was mentioned above. Let her pursue you, only start texting her once a week at the most. After the date, wait 3-5 days before you reinitiate contact if she hasn't sent you something first.
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