PUA Forum
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/

Got some (unexpected) IOIs, now what?
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=184993		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Lulushu [ Sun Oct 26, 2014 7:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Got some (unexpected) IOIs, now what?
Alright, so something really weird happened to me last night. Story time:

A couple month ago, I asked this friend of a girl friend to go out with me. She didn't answer to any of my messages afterwards. 2 weeks later, I reply to a funny post of hers on facebook(no, it wasn't "chasing", I genuinely loved the post and felt the need to reply). Thing is, I made my style of messaging on facebook by using funny pictures and memes(yes, they actually worked a couple times, and the times they didn't get me dates they made the girl laugh, which made me feel good anyway). She responded very aggressively to that, saying that she hasn't got time for me and that she needs to go to bed. At 7 PM. Of course I realized that was a blatant indicator of disinterest, so I stopped talking to her.
Fast forward another two weeks, and my girl friend(essentially my sister considering the way we behave towards each other) invites both of us to her 18th birthday. I arrive there, have a couple drinks, then I went and danced with pretty much every girl at the party. Then this girl, that denied any shot at a date(we actually know each other for almost a year, and I asked her out a couple of times before as well, both of them denied) picks me out of the bulk of guys on the dance floor, pulls me towards her and starts grinding me like there's no tomorrow. When the song ends, I sit down to get a couple of drinks(by this point I'm done with alcohol, all I really need is a glass of vodka and I'm good to go for the whole night), then I see her sit down upset. I continue dancing with her friends(pretty much everyone at that party was friends with everyone, except me and a couple of relatives of the host, so I was pretty much the new guy in their circle) when her best friend pulls me aside and tells me "go check on her, maybe she'll talk to you". Of course she doesn't tell me shit, except the good old "I'm tired" story, so I go back to dancing and having fun. However, not even half an hour later, I see her get up and pull the same stuff on me, this time not even letting me guide her, she just went straight up "slut-mode" I guess would be the name, considering even her friends that were around us were shocked seeing the way she moved. After the party chilled out and we went to our tables to sit down and talk until pretty much everyone leaves, she asks if I have my car out(later I found out that had I answered "yes" she would've actually stayed around longer).

Problem: Am I over-reacting to these "IOIs"(I'm aware they might not even be IOIs, I'm still learning)? Should I have made a move to kiss her right there on the dance floor? The reason I'm asking is that I remember I read a thread somewhere in this forum that said grinding on the dance floor is not actually that much of an IOI as many people think.

P.S: F-closing was not an option in any way, since a. the party was in the city where my parents live with my 10 year old brother, so I stayed at their place and b. since I didn't have a car, I had no way to take her to my place(it snowed for over 30 hours continuously here and she was wearing heels, so without a car I was not taking her anywhere).

And completely off-topic but a very short question: I went out with a girl two weeks ago, 10 minutes into the meeting she brings up that she lives with her boyfriend until she can find a place of her own. We end up having a good time, talking and walking for over 3 hours. This Friday, she calls me out of the blue because she said she missed me. I take a shot in the dark and, since she wanted to come to my medschool's freshman party(I don't know how else to call it in English) but it was too far from her home to go back after the party, proposed for her to sleep at my place, at which point she excitedly agrees(the party is a month from now). What should I make out of this?
Author:  Lulushu [ Tue Oct 28, 2014 9:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Got some (unexpected) IOIs, now what?
Shameless bump, I'd really like to develop this into something...

Small update though, I hit her up on FB 2 days after the party, we had the following conversation:

Me:I hate you...because of you I almost fell asleep today at school
Her:What?
Her:Why is it my fault?
Me:Well, I could've just sat down, with a glass of beverage, go home early and sleep, instead you kept me up all night and I couldn't make it back up to speed
Me:You with that white dress, your dance...I couldn't recover fast enough
Me::))
Her:I kept you up till late?=)))
Me:After Dan left I wanted to leave too, I wanted to dance one final dance and there you are, coming at me and holding me down on the dance floor
Me:Had I fallen asleep I would have told the teachers "you know, a white dress is at fault for my falling asleep" :))
Her:I'm holding you down
Her:Gooood where do you get these ideas :)):)):)):))
Me:I think it's the vodka, something must've been left over
Me:I'm trying to spill it out, but it won't go out my ears
Her:You really must have had some if you think I can dance :)):)):))
Me:I didn't say you know how to dance, however with my dancing sklls you must be a dancing goddess :))
Me:Back to serious business, what's up about that Halloween party at Smallville?
Her:Nothing
Her:It's going to be at the restaurant I guess, but it'll suck
Me:So I take it you're not going?
Her:I don't know
Her:If I have anything better to do
Her:No
Me:Is Miss Freshman considered better?
Her:No :))
Me:Why? Don't you wanna see what shameless freshmen come at your school?:))
Her:Yeaaa, very shameless
Her:Honestly I don't care
Me:I'll give you something better to do. I'm coming in town on Friday
Her:So? :))
Me:So?
Me:So what if life took away more than it gave?
Me::))
(this was a joke regarding a song popular in our country)
Me:I mean after a week of studying I need to chill out, and I need a person that actually knows to chill out
Her:And what do I look like?
Her:Go to a massage parlour, darling
Me:I didn't say chill ME out
Me:I said TO chill out
Me:And chilling out isn't about massage, it's also about laughing and having fun
Her:Well I'm very chill and I know how to relax without going out with you:))
Me:Okay, let me flip the coin then: PLEASE PLEASE PLSPLS WITH PUPPY EYES WILL YOU HELP ME CHILL OUT? *puppy face*
Me::))
Her:Come on, do something to get head over heels on someone else
Me:Me? Head over heels? Sorry but I found some great detergent and I'm spotless(in my language head over heels translates roughly into "having a spot for somebody")
Me:Also I'm not having withdrawal symptoms, so...:))

Did I fuck it up? Any shots for me to do anything? Or is it a completely sealed deal and I should forget about it for a while(as in months)?
Author:  JackZero [ Tue Oct 28, 2014 10:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Got some (unexpected) IOIs, now what?
It's strange. It's almost like you may be able to pull it off. I think you may need to change your tactic. She was grabbing you when you were enjoying yourself and being social, but when you started showing interest in her she pulls away. I'm not sure if she just needs validation and you're an easy target for it or is there some attraction there.

I'd start dialing back asking her out. When you work with the indirect compliments, you seem to be getting through to her (the dancing, keeping you up), but you probably should not explain what you mean with those compliments to keep her interested. Then when she starts talking about you being head over heels for her, reverse that on her.
Author:  Lulushu [ Wed Oct 29, 2014 7:04 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Got some (unexpected) IOIs, now what?
Yea, she is quite a strange person. It's not the first time we talked. Actually she is the one that initially hit me up on FB(granted it was a lot of time ago, but still, she made that first move, and of course I blew it) but the second I expressed interest she backed off. It seems like she enjoys having fun over text, but the second I try to go in for the meet-up she refuses it.

I don't really understand the last sentence. What do you mean by "reversing it on her"?
Author:  JackZero [ Wed Oct 29, 2014 7:14 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Got some (unexpected) IOIs, now what?
When I say reverse it on her, I mean by taking whatever she is trying to say you would be, i.e. head over heels, you say that she is only saying it because she knows that she would be head over heels for you. Take away the value that she's giving herself and place that value on you.

Her: I don't want you head over heels over me.
You: You're saying that because you know that you'll be head over heels for me.
You: (take it a step further and keep taking value from her)You'll end up telling your friends about me and trying to introduce me to your parents.
Author:  Lulushu [ Wed Oct 29, 2014 7:33 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Got some (unexpected) IOIs, now what?
Understood. Thanks. So what should my move be now? Just wait until the week-end when it's kinda likely to meet in person? Or keep messaging her on FB?
Author:  Lulushu [ Thu Oct 30, 2014 3:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Got some (unexpected) IOIs, now what?
Bump, I'm thinking about going out with her friends this week-end, odds are she might be there. Any tips on it? Should I do it, should I talk to her beforehand?
Author:  Stenic1 [ Thu Oct 30, 2014 4:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Got some (unexpected) IOIs, now what?
Dont talk to her before hand. Dont give her the attention. Keep yourself with drawn so she thinks you have a problem with her on the night out enjoy yourself and show her she doesnt phase you.
Author:  spacco [ Thu Oct 30, 2014 4:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Got some (unexpected) IOIs, now what?
What is her general personality like? More of an introvert or extrovert? Without Alchohol that is :) Since most people become more extroverted and sexual with alchohol.

As for your second scenario you might have something going there. If she says she misses you that could be a pretty good indication. And most girls with a legit boyfriend relationship wouldn't be cool with sleeping over at another guys place. Or their boyfriend wouldn't be cool with that for that matter.

_______________________

Stumped for a good opener at the bar? Check out the Pickup Buddy App - http://bit.ly/1pAxPT1

Quote:
Alright, so something really weird happened to me last night. Story time:

A couple month ago, I asked this friend of a girl friend to go out with me. She didn't answer to any of my messages afterwards. 2 weeks later, I reply to a funny post of hers on facebook(no, it wasn't "chasing", I genuinely loved the post and felt the need to reply). Thing is, I made my style of messaging on facebook by using funny pictures and memes(yes, they actually worked a couple times, and the times they didn't get me dates they made the girl laugh, which made me feel good anyway). She responded very aggressively to that, saying that she hasn't got time for me and that she needs to go to bed. At 7 PM. Of course I realized that was a blatant indicator of disinterest, so I stopped talking to her.
Fast forward another two weeks, and my girl friend(essentially my sister considering the way we behave towards each other) invites both of us to her 18th birthday. I arrive there, have a couple drinks, then I went and danced with pretty much every girl at the party. Then this girl, that denied any shot at a date(we actually know each other for almost a year, and I asked her out a couple of times before as well, both of them denied) picks me out of the bulk of guys on the dance floor, pulls me towards her and starts grinding me like there's no tomorrow. When the song ends, I sit down to get a couple of drinks(by this point I'm done with alcohol, all I really need is a glass of vodka and I'm good to go for the whole night), then I see her sit down upset. I continue dancing with her friends(pretty much everyone at that party was friends with everyone, except me and a couple of relatives of the host, so I was pretty much the new guy in their circle) when her best friend pulls me aside and tells me "go check on her, maybe she'll talk to you". Of course she doesn't tell me shit, except the good old "I'm tired" story, so I go back to dancing and having fun. However, not even half an hour later, I see her get up and pull the same stuff on me, this time not even letting me guide her, she just went straight up "slut-mode" I guess would be the name, considering even her friends that were around us were shocked seeing the way she moved. After the party chilled out and we went to our tables to sit down and talk until pretty much everyone leaves, she asks if I have my car out(later I found out that had I answered "yes" she would've actually stayed around longer).

Problem: Am I over-reacting to these "IOIs"(I'm aware they might not even be IOIs, I'm still learning)? Should I have made a move to kiss her right there on the dance floor? The reason I'm asking is that I remember I read a thread somewhere in this forum that said grinding on the dance floor is not actually that much of an IOI as many people think.

P.S: F-closing was not an option in any way, since a. the party was in the city where my parents live with my 10 year old brother, so I stayed at their place and b. since I didn't have a car, I had no way to take her to my place(it snowed for over 30 hours continuously here and she was wearing heels, so without a car I was not taking her anywhere).

And completely off-topic but a very short question: I went out with a girl two weeks ago, 10 minutes into the meeting she brings up that she lives with her boyfriend until she can find a place of her own. We end up having a good time, talking and walking for over 3 hours. This Friday, she calls me out of the blue because she said she missed me. I take a shot in the dark and, since she wanted to come to my medschool's freshman party(I don't know how else to call it in English) but it was too far from her home to go back after the party, proposed for her to sleep at my place, at which point she excitedly agrees(the party is a month from now). What should I make out of this?
Author:  JackZero [ Thu Oct 30, 2014 4:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Got some (unexpected) IOIs, now what?
Don't talk to her beforehand. When you guys go out, target one of her friends instead of giving that attention to her. She craves the attention from you, so don't give it to her so easily.
Author:  Lulushu [ Thu Oct 30, 2014 5:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Got some (unexpected) IOIs, now what?
Quote:
What is her general personality like? More of an introvert or extrovert? Without Alchohol that is :) Since most people become more extroverted and sexual with alchohol.

As for your second scenario you might have something going there. If she says she misses you that could be a pretty good indication. And most girls with a legit boyfriend relationship wouldn't be cool with sleeping over at another guys place. Or their boyfriend wouldn't be cool with that for that matter.
Well, she's quite the extrovert, has no issues with touch and talking to people either(I mean, I once hugged her from behind while we were in school and she didn't seem to mind at all).
Quote:
Don't talk to her beforehand. When you guys go out, target one of her friends instead of giving that attention to her. She craves the attention from you, so don't give it to her so easily.
I figured as much. Thanks, I'll see if I can get something going this week-end. Guess it's time for the classic "you like her, ignore her" thing :D
Author:  Lulushu [ Sun Nov 30, 2014 10:18 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Got some (unexpected) IOIs, now what?
Long post incoming, I don't blame anyone for not wanting to get to the end, but I feel every single thing I write holds some relevance.

So it was my birthday this Tuesday, but I was out of town, so when I arrived this week-end my best girl friend and the girl this topic is about went out with me to a local pub(sort of a mini celebration). The girl chose to sit at the same side of the table with my friend, leaving me alone on the other side. However, she chose to sit directly across the table from me. Anyway, we start chatting, we get to lock eyes quite a lot(I never let myself be the first one to move away my eyes, but from what I realize I wasn't creepy either, since she kept smiling). I got a new phone, with a pretty good camera, so (of course) she asked if she could get some photos of herself. Then she asked her friend to join her, which she denied. After that she asked me to join her, at which point I say "If you really want to get a picture with me that bad, come on my side of the table." She denies, at which point I say "I knew you never really wanted to do any pictures, this is just some stunt to get me to work and for you to watch". She gets visibly affected by this, as she (angrily in a playful way) jumps to her feet then comes over to me and does a couple selfies. At that point we start joking about being a couple, we even got a couple name selected(she actually started this joke and started picking names), then after taking the pictures moves over to the other side. When I asked her what she wants to do after finishing high-school(she's senior year) she said she wants to do Arab-Spanish languages(her being from arab descent), but she would've loved to do Arab-Russian. Then she finds out I am actually decent in Russian and could have helped her out all this time, and says "had I known that, I would've hooked up with you since we first met in April". Also, there is this picture on her facebook profile where she is in a bathrobe, I brought it up multiple times because of two reasons: one, it looks exactly like my dad's(at which point I turned it into a "you were at my place and I gave you that robe" story) and two, I teased her about wanting to see her face in the morning(when I liked her picture I told her I liked it because of the robe, and she asked if I didn't like her morning face).
Since it was my birthday, of course I had some cake. Our common friend was at my house and she advertised the cake a lot to her, and so did I, and she eventually got mad at us and started begging me to go get her some cake. I eventually gave in(it was a 2 minute car drive to my place, so not really a big effort from me) only under the condition of a kiss. When I came back, she gave me a hug and kissed me on the cheek(here I think I made a mistake and should have maybe pushed for a kiss on the lips). After our common friend went to the bathroom, I decided to take a picture of her, at which point she moved back to my side of the table to see the picture. Eventually she started taking pictures of us again, and when my friend came back from the bathroom, she remarked "I can't even leave you two alone for 2 minutes, and you hook up again". She started deleting the pictures she took beforehand, so I did an "I'll choke you" move with my hands without actually touching her(in a playful way) at which point she said "calm down, sweetie, I'll take more pictures with us" which she did. After she moved back to her spot, she said she was being cold, at which point I teased her saying "It's obvious it was me who was getting you all hot, my Russian really turned you on" at which point she kinda blushed and smiled. Then when I took them both home, I was left alone in the car with her, but she was in the back seat(it was raining, so she didn't want to get out of the car just to move in the front). When I got her home, I tell her "So, I'm not meeting your parents any time soon?". At which point she said "Maybe tomorrow morning, at coffee."

So any ideas? How did I do? Anything I could've done better?
Author:  Jay (Majik) [ Tue Dec 02, 2014 6:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Got some (unexpected) IOIs, now what?
You've gotta learn how to get more creative with logistics man.

I've fucked girls at house parties. You've gotta think on your feet sometimes :)
Author:  Lulushu [ Tue Dec 02, 2014 7:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Got some (unexpected) IOIs, now what?
Quote:
You've gotta learn how to get more creative with logistics man.

I've fucked girls at house parties. You've gotta think on your feet sometimes :)
Yea, I realize I could've driven out of town to look at the moon or some sort of stupid stuff. What I'm asking is would you say there is ANY attraction from her? She really seems like the type of girl that throws herself at guys when it comes to talking, however still contains herself when it comes to escalating.
Page 1 of 1 All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/