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| Author: | happydude5 [ Sat Oct 11, 2014 3:52 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Questions for big noob |
Basically I'm really bad socially (no stable group of friends that I consistently hang out with even). Whenever I step out of my comfort zone (to try and improve), even in this group of friends (who I hardly hang out with), I end up doing something that feels like it resonates "retarded/lame/creepy". I'm a junior in college. Basically, I don't want to be a creep every time I try to go out of my comfort zone, I'm pretty sure it has something to do with me lacking confidence in my actions and then I kind of magnify how stupid what I did was amongst myself and then others see this. It's just weird, any ideas? Or just keep trying, keep being retarded until I'm confident with it and figure out what works? The weirdest thing about all of it, is I keep thinking when I go to bed or wherever "OMG DUDE that was so fkin retarded what u did" but instead of figuring out what would make it less retarded, I focus on how dumb it was. I kind of read if you just smile about something stupid you did and kind of laugh at it you can dissipate the situation a little, and then go back home later and focus on the stupidest things you did. Is this a good strategy? Maybe I should be more observant of the confident people and just copy them, instead of doing the really dumb crap I do. So my main question is: If I do something REALLY dumb/awkward/creepy/total long SILENCE/nervous tick/totally unfunny.. how do I cope with it and improve on it I guess I sound like a typical low self-esteem guy, if I was serious about improving I'm trying to wonder if I would even be writing this post |
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| Author: | JackZero [ Sat Oct 11, 2014 4:41 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Questions for big noob |
Quote: So my main question is: If I do something REALLY dumb/awkward/creepy/total long SILENCE/nervous tick/totally unfunny.. how do I cope with it and improve on it
I'm guessing that you are trying to be funny and it's not working out for you, but you're not being too descriptive of what it is that's so creepy. Can you provide some examples?
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| Author: | puaninja [ Sat Oct 11, 2014 5:06 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Questions for big noob |
You're too much in your own head right now. Do you think other people, myself included, don't retrospect and feel stupid about the things they've said or done in social settings? Everyone is like that for the most part. First you need to come to terms with the reality of the world, and realize that embarrassment and rejection and social awkwardness is something that all people need to embrace. Then you need to analyze what it is that you feel you are doing wrong and try to change that for the better. I would normally say to embrace the way you are, but clearly, if you are doing things that are putting people off, that needs to change or you won't get anywhere. |
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| Author: | happydude5 [ Sat Oct 11, 2014 6:10 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Questions for big noob |
Quote: You're too much in your own head right now. Do you think other people, myself included, don't retrospect and feel stupid about the things they've said or done in social settings? Everyone is like that for the most part.
Thanks I'll try working on it
First you need to come to terms with the reality of the world, and realize that embarrassment and rejection and social awkwardness is something that all people need to embrace. Then you need to analyze what it is that you feel you are doing wrong and try to change that for the better. I would normally say to embrace the way you are, but clearly, if you are doing things that are putting people off, that needs to change or you won't get anywhere. |
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