A few weeks back a girl I work with and know quite well and who I have had numerous lunch "dates" with (she always said yes to these), have been out drinking with a lot and hung out with a lot basically...recently told me that she wasn't ignoring me and wanted to keep her distance from me for a while because she is "occasionally quite uncomfortable with things I say to her", she said she wasn't mad though, although she refused to tell me what those things were (she told me that I should know! via text)
The thing is that I actually said that Keep My Distance thing first as I was ashamed of some drunken texts and behaviour (I have walked away from her more than once after she pissed me off) I sent her and wanted to get my shit straight) during this week of ugly silence, she would often walk past my desk and in one instance we looked at each other and she put her eyes down to the floor.
During the week of keeping her distance, she did a lot of things she normally wouldn't do (take the long way around to the bathroom etc., be in the kitchen a lot etc. and giving me not very subtle glances), she ended up coming out drinking a few weekends back and it was very awkward, I said hello to her and went and drank with a group of Friends, as I was leaving she yelled out Bye (my name) really loudly and she ended up sending me a text after I left, saying “why are you making it awkward, we can still be around each other right?
I replied back (and in hindsight I should have ignored that text) and just said are you kidding me?, you asked for distance, I respected that and gave it to you, why are you sending me texts like this?
Then I got this message on Facebook a few days later
‘Hi, Just so you know, It was just very recently I started feeling uncomfortable it’s not like it’s been months and months, it’s been a matter of weeks. And I did tell you as soon as I thought it was getting to be a problem.
But as I have said before, I have no on going issues with you as long as we keep our relationship at a friend level. Like we were before. Is that what you want?!’
Why is she asking me if that is what I want? how can it be like it was before with all of this bullshit from her?
For the record I have always said that we are good Friends (I'm in a relationship) and I have never come onto her, there have in all honesty been numerous flirty moments between us though, in fact all of this bullshit all came after she was being extra flirtatious and co-workers were seeing how she was with me.
and why can she not explain this?
I asked her to meet up for coffee so we could have a chat because things were getting weird between us and she told me that she would feel uncomfortable being alone with me.
That really hurt to be honest and I asked her ‘Why would you feel uncomfortable being alone with me?’
She replied “Arghhh I don’t know how to explain it (she used my name here)"
She is still doing a lot of things to get my attention at work, I avoid her if I can and I don’t speak to her any more and I stopped texting her (deleted her number) and e-mailing (we used to e-mail each other a lot and it was often her that asked me if I was going out drinking after work etc) her at work etc, it's been around 5-6 days with out any verbal contact from my side, she has said good morning and goodbye a few times but I don't really acknowledge it and there have been a few looks here and there.
She still looks at me a lot during the day and gets jealous when other girls talk to me.
I have never seen this side to her (we have known each other for almost 3 years), I mean we have fought in the past, but not like this and even though we work together, we just aren't in each other's lives any more.
Is she really uncomfortable with me? (she sat right across from me at a team meeting the other morning and was playing with her hair and looking at me), or is she just uncomfortable with the feelings she has or are these just shit tests?
Why did the uncomfortable thing change from "things I say" to "being uncomfortable alone with me?"
Or is she just an attention seeker?
Really confused and appreciate any advice
