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"Maybe we can be friends"
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Author:  guitar420guy [ Wed Oct 01, 2014 3:51 am ]
Post subject:  "Maybe we can be friends"
Hey gents,

Was talking on the phone to a girl I was trying to 'repair the bridge' with. Kind of told her some personal shit, went border line afc but didn't, blah blah so on. Anyways, she brought up how she doesn't give second chances, I didn't ask about it prior to this btw. I told her I'd take a second chance, as it was I who did the fuck up. Was a dick, huge dick to her.

Anyways, after saying that she said something like "Idk what you want me to say... Maybe we could be friends?"

Prior to my PUA knowledge I probably would have freaked out, or said something like "yes yes, please anything." but I told her calmly that I couldn't be her friend as my feelings were to strong for friendship. She even made me clarify on it.

Anyways, this wasn't the end of the convo, went on and said goodnight blah blah so on.

But regardless I was wondering what you guys do when you get the good old "We can be friends" card that girls have about 10,000 of for future references.
Author:  fishnwomen [ Wed Oct 01, 2014 2:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: "Maybe we can be friends"
It happens to everyone once in a while- you simply do not know this girl's history or whether she has other lovers.

My experience is to say, "I'm not interested in friendship, let me know if you change your mind." You are an alpha male, don't let her waste your time. This will separate you from the pack, because most guys aren't willing to walk away. Alpha males are, because there are girls out there who will give you exactly what you want.

Then you sit, and wait. No contact. Nothing. If she reaches out, assume she is trying to hang out, and try to set up a date that has her come to your place to watch a movie, or have a drink. Make it seem like no big deal.

I have had this happen a couple times. The last time I was in this situation, the girl hit me up about a month after she tried to friend zone me. Be patient, my friend.
Author:  TheFury [ Wed Oct 01, 2014 4:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: "Maybe we can be friends"
Quote:
Hey gents,

Was talking on the phone to a girl I was trying to 'repair the bridge' with. Kind of told her some personal shit, went border line afc but didn't, blah blah so on. Anyways, she brought up how she doesn't give second chances, I didn't ask about it prior to this btw. I told her I'd take a second chance, as it was I who did the fuck up. Was a dick, huge dick to her.

Anyways, after saying that she said something like "Idk what you want me to say... Maybe we could be friends?"

Prior to my PUA knowledge I probably would have freaked out, or said something like "yes yes, please anything." but I told her calmly that I couldn't be her friend as my feelings were to strong for friendship. She even made me clarify on it.

Anyways, this wasn't the end of the convo, went on and said goodnight blah blah so on.

But regardless I was wondering what you guys do when you get the good old "We can be friends" card that girls have about 10,000 of for future references.

What is the history you have? Have you slept with her before? The play here is to not even respond and just reengage with her later (like a month MINIMUM) and do not apologize. Ignore everything that happened just hit her with the "Hey Stranger how've you been?" and go from there. It's low probability, but higher than 0% probability.
Author:  Pikeman85 [ Wed Oct 01, 2014 5:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: "Maybe we can be friends"
Your only fuck-up was admitting you fucked up (generally speaking).

The leader doesn't make mistakes, he changes his mind in light of new evidence, if you get my meaning.

When a girl says, "I'm open to friendship, maybe", that means, "I'm uncomfortable with this situation and not very attracted right now".

A good play would be what you did - "Ok, well I'm not interested in friendship, so I'm going to go", and then follow through - she'll do what she did, attempt to clarify or figure out exactly what you're saying (this is testing your frame - are you actually going to walk away or are you bluffing?).

Clarify in a simple manner, and repeat that you're leaving. If she tries to keep you on the phone, tell her sorry, you've made up your mind, she can contact you if she changes hers.

End the call.


Wait.


Her feelings of, "I'm better than him/he isn't truly a man, he isn't mate quality" will have probably turned into, "he just dropped me like nothing! and he stuck to it! Maybe I was wrong about him".

At that point, keep your frame ("Dating or GTFO"), and you should be fine.

It sounds like you did a lot of it, but you weren't stark enough with removing your attention when she didn't respond positively.
Author:  n2thevoid [ Wed Oct 01, 2014 6:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: "Maybe we can be friends"
Survey says walk. You'll respect yourself more and end up getting what you want whether it means from her or another girl.
Author:  Vandal PUA [ Sun Oct 05, 2014 8:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: "Maybe we can be friends"
This is solid advice. I haven't been F-zoned yet but it's one of those things that's inevitable and that's a great response.
Author:  guitar420guy [ Mon Oct 06, 2014 1:48 am ]
Post subject:  Re: "Maybe we can be friends"
Late reply, don't really use my pc much.

Anyways yah we've slept together. We had a fling for a few weeks and she was digging me hard, our mutual friend (one of her closest friends) actually told me I broke her heart. Haha irony.

Anyways, the advice is greatly appreciated. A lot of this stuff is common knowledge but when I get into a haze like this I forget to act on my instincts and seek out advice. Currently am on nc with her, going as far as shutting my phone off for a few weeks to do some personal recollection and analysis. -- Highly recommended --

Also I was asking primarily what are other options as this? I feel what I did was a correct way to do this "I can't be friends with you, blah blah" then split.

Also with the contacting her in a month or so - I've done this maybe once or twice as when I go nc with a girl I find it a struggle to actually break that attitude and lighten up a little bit - you do this by for lack of better words, by being yourself?

Haha thanks for the advice gents
Author:  neo87 [ Mon Oct 06, 2014 4:47 am ]
Post subject:  Re: "Maybe we can be friends"
If it were me, I won't sweat it. If she's slept with you and you broke her heart there is something there. I'd just agree, hang out as friends and escalate. Similar to if I know a girl is attracted to me but says she wont sleep with me tonight. I say cool, hang out and fuck. Tip, don't put a girl into a box. It won't work. No ultimatums.
Author:  guitar420guy [ Mon Oct 06, 2014 5:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: "Maybe we can be friends"
Quote:
Tip, don't put a girl into a box. It won't work. No ultimatums.
Agree with this a ton actually, nobody likes being put in a box. Unless you're a chode.

Anyways yah, I'm just doin me for now. Whatever happens happens, out of my control for now so not going to interfere with it.
Author:  Gunfighter28 [ Wed Oct 08, 2014 3:47 am ]
Post subject:  Re: "Maybe we can be friends"
Quote:
It happens to everyone once in a while- you simply do not know this girl's history or whether she has other lovers.

My experience is to say, "I'm not interested in friendship, let me know if you change your mind." You are an alpha male, don't let her waste your time. This will separate you from the pack, because most guys aren't willing to walk away. Alpha males are, because there are girls out there who will give you exactly what you want.

Then you sit, and wait. No contact. Nothing. If she reaches out, assume she is trying to hang out, and try to set up a date that has her come to your place to watch a movie, or have a drink. Make it seem like no big deal.

I have had this happen a couple times. The last time I was in this situation, the girl hit me up about a month after she tried to friend zone me. Be patient, my friend.
I see you've been reading the material I put you onto a while back. Works well doesn't it?
Author:  puaninja [ Wed Oct 08, 2014 5:21 am ]
Post subject:  Re: "Maybe we can be friends"
When it comes to the friend zone crap and really anything counter-productive the girl tries to run on you, like shit games and just general BS....your response should always be the same. You should be non-reactionary. No groveling, no sucking up, no "aw shucks", no hanging your head, no begging, no kicking and screaming, no whining, and so on. In fact, you should just act like it didn't even happen and keep running your game accordingly.

As a general rule, you should be gaming other girls anyway, or behaving as though that was your intent (regardless of whether you are succeeding at doing it). Continue to demonstrate high value and only show enough interest in her and make enough of a presence of yourself to keep her from completely forgetting about you. Then, if she actually does have any intention of hooking up with you, it will eventually happen so long as you continue running your A-game.
Author:  n2thevoid [ Wed Oct 08, 2014 6:34 am ]
Post subject:  Re: "Maybe we can be friends"
If she wants friends and you're still attached, you're in for a bumpy ride. Best to move on and free up that energy for yourself and potentially someone new down the road (after you've healed).

If she wants friends and you're not attached and you want the person in your life, go for it.
Author:  J.Daniels [ Wed Oct 08, 2014 6:55 am ]
Post subject:  Re: "Maybe we can be friends"
Quote:
Quote:
It happens to everyone once in a while- you simply do not know this girl's history or whether she has other lovers.

My experience is to say, "I'm not interested in friendship, let me know if you change your mind." You are an alpha male, don't let her waste your time. This will separate you from the pack, because most guys aren't willing to walk away. Alpha males are, because there are girls out there who will give you exactly what you want.

Then you sit, and wait. No contact. Nothing. If she reaches out, assume she is trying to hang out, and try to set up a date that has her come to your place to watch a movie, or have a drink. Make it seem like no big deal.

I have had this happen a couple times. The last time I was in this situation, the girl hit me up about a month after she tried to friend zone me. Be patient, my friend.
I see you've been reading the material I put you onto a while back. Works well doesn't it?

Corey Wayne by any chance?
Author:  Gunfighter28 [ Wed Oct 08, 2014 7:03 am ]
Post subject:  Re: "Maybe we can be friends"
^ yep that's who I'm talking about. I personally think his material woul destroy this situation. I'm using it to fix up a slip up I ha recently.
Author:  DurandalBlue [ Wed Oct 08, 2014 7:04 am ]
Post subject:  Re: "Maybe we can be friends"
You "blah blah blah"-ed over probably the most important piece of information...
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