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What to do if you dont approach and you feel terrible about.
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Author:  JohnnyMaddick [ Sun Sep 21, 2014 8:53 pm ]
Post subject:  What to do if you dont approach and you feel terrible about.
A student of mine had a problem, every time he wanted to approach a girl that he liked and didn't do it, he would start beating himself up, think about it all day long, replaying different scenarios in his head, consider himself a coward and feel like shit, then would get very depressed up to the point he would think life has no meaning anymore. This might be an extreme case but all of us are familiar with this feeling.

These is my professional advice on this matter.

Regrets is making decisions in the past. When you dont approach you go home and try to change your behavior in the past, but you cannot and you suffer from it.
Make decisions in the present. If you made decision not to approach a girl, this is the decision you made and nothing you can do about it anymore. I bet it was your best choice at the moment when you were making this decision.
All you can do is to prepare your self for future decisions, do not regret not approaching a girl, simply decide you gonna approach next time, and plan what you gonna do.
Not to regret is easier said than done, it is not so easy not to think a though that is stuck in your head. But there is a trick for it - since you just can't think 2 thoughts at the same time, you need to replace one thought with another, preferably with something that you like, something that motivates you, something that makes you feel successful - it can be a memory of a good time, or even a fantasy, you can watch a movie - you got the idea?
There is even more powerful thing than replacing the negative thought with another thought - talking to someone else, with your friends, your relatives, teachers, random people on the street, supermarket, anywhere. Talking about anything positive. When you talk - you are present and cannot drown in your regrets.

This is how you beat your regrets and think how you improve in the future.

Approaching hot girls that you are attracted to is nice and cool, but if you are nervous and they weird out, I might develop a bigger fear and not approach them in the future.

I recommend you start approaching someone who you don't necessarily like, or not attracted to. Start any conversation, socially acceptable. Like ask for directions, time, use any kind of opinion opener (there are many of them on the internet). Have no agenda, dont ask for the phone numbers or anything. You may say a compliment, but dont expect anything in return. If you dont feel really comfortable talking with girls, talk with guys first.

You will notice that slowly you will be shifting to a more social and talkative mode. Start talking to guys, then social topics with unattractive girls, then attractive girls, then flirting. Remember the state. Unfortunately every night when we sleep our nervous system slows down and every morning it is very slow and we dont want to talk with anyone, every day we need to speed up our brains to get into the social mode, where we can easily talk with anyone. That is why when you are there remember the state and use some kind of anchor to help yourself get into this state faster in the future ( check out the 2 min video of Johnny Maddick How To Instantly Shift Into Seduction Mode With NLP Anchors on youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXF5IwXQ ... 9EWLeZJ4lA )

One more thing, in your language use more or if possible only positive words and statements.

Stay beautiful,

Johnny Maddick, The Man, The Legend
Author:  JackZero [ Mon Sep 22, 2014 5:31 am ]
Post subject:  Re: What to do if you dont approach and you feel terrible ab
Quote:
I recommend you start approaching someone who you don't necessarily like, or not attracted to. Start any conversation, socially acceptable. Like ask for directions, time, use any kind of opinion opener (there are many of them on the internet). Have no agenda, dont ask for the phone numbers or anything. You may say a compliment, but dont expect anything in return. If you dont feel really comfortable talking with girls, talk with guys first.
I used to think that this was good advice, but watching it play out in real life will tell you that this advice rarely works. When you talk to someone that you feel that you have nothing to lose talking to, you have no anxiety. So you can talk to everyone under the sun that you are not attracted to, it's not going to help with attractive women. The second problem you have is that you are not doing anything to build attraction and that's the goal of approaching an attractive woman. So when you're just talking to everyone, you may be building some social skills, but read the posts of all these men on this site that say that they are outgoing and friendly but can't get a girl. Why is that? They haven't learned how to build attraction and because they have become used to being the friendly outgoing guy, they are not comfortable to transitioning to the attractive man.

I used to hate going on forums and reading people say "grow some balls and talk to them", but truthfully that is the best advice when it comes to talking to women. These cheap tricks are simply a waste of time and no substitute for putting in the work.
Author:  Mastermind9000 [ Mon Sep 22, 2014 6:21 am ]
Post subject:  Re: What to do if you dont approach and you feel terrible ab
Quote:
Quote:
I recommend you start approaching someone who you don't necessarily like, or not attracted to. Start any conversation, socially acceptable. Like ask for directions, time, use any kind of opinion opener (there are many of them on the internet). Have no agenda, dont ask for the phone numbers or anything. You may say a compliment, but dont expect anything in return. If you dont feel really comfortable talking with girls, talk with guys first.
I used to think that this was good advice, but watching it play out in real life will tell you that this advice rarely works. When you talk to someone that you feel that you have nothing to lose talking to, you have no anxiety. So you can talk to everyone under the sun that you are not attracted to, it's not going to help with attractive women. The second problem you have is that you are not doing anything to build attraction and that's the goal of approaching an attractive woman. So when you're just talking to everyone, you may be building some social skills, but read the posts of all these men on this site that say that they are outgoing and friendly but can't get a girl. Why is that? They haven't learned how to build attraction and because they have become used to being the friendly outgoing guy, they are not comfortable to transitioning to the attractive man.

I used to hate going on forums and reading people say "grow some balls and talk to them", but truthfully that is the best advice when it comes to talking to women. These cheap tricks are simply a waste of time and no substitute for putting in the work.
Sadly, I agree to a large extent. I used to be outgoing and "friendly", then I went years without socializing at all. When I started again, using pua this time, it was nothing the same. Being friendly got rid of my social anxiety, but it did nothing for my sexual anxiety or fear of pussy. That needs to be conquered distinctly.
Author:  JohnnyMaddick [ Mon Sep 22, 2014 6:46 am ]
Post subject:  Re: What to do if you dont approach and you feel terrible ab
I should've given a bit more description of the situation I am offering the solution for.

A student of mine had a problem, every time he wanted to approach a girl that he liked and didn't do it, he would start beating himself up, think about it all day long, replaying different scenarios in his head, consider himself a coward and feel like shit, then would get very depressed up to the point he would think life has no meaning anymore. This might be an extreme case but all of us are familiar with this feeling.

Talking with random people will not teach you attraction, this is the next step. Talking will shift you in the social mode, from where it is much easier to approach girls and learn seduction.
Author:  JackZero [ Mon Sep 22, 2014 7:27 am ]
Post subject:  Re: What to do if you dont approach and you feel terrible ab
Quote:
I should've given a bit more description of the situation I am offering the solution for.

A student of mine had a problem, every time he wanted to approach a girl that he liked and didn't do it, he would start beating himself up, think about it all day long, replaying different scenarios in his head, consider himself a coward and feel like shit, then would get very depressed up to the point he would think life has no meaning anymore. This might be an extreme case but all of us are familiar with this feeling.

Talking with random people will not teach you attraction, this is the next step. Talking will shift you in the social mode, from where it is much easier to approach girls and learn seduction.
Let's say that's the correct way to go. What do you do when you walk up to people that you give less than a damn about and can talk to them but you still have approach anxiety when it comes to women? Even the student of yours that you've mentioned hasn't addressed that issue with this technique. He can only talk to people he has no interest in. He still hasn't conquered the fear of approaching the women that he is attracted to. He's still at square 1.
Author:  Mastermind9000 [ Mon Sep 22, 2014 9:43 am ]
Post subject:  Re: What to do if you dont approach and you feel terrible ab
Quote:
I should've given a bit more description of the situation I am offering the solution for.

A student of mine had a problem, every time he wanted to approach a girl that he liked and didn't do it, he would start beating himself up, think about it all day long, replaying different scenarios in his head, consider himself a coward and feel like shit, then would get very depressed up to the point he would think life has no meaning anymore. This might be an extreme case but all of us are familiar with this feeling.

Talking with random people will not teach you attraction, this is the next step. Talking will shift you in the social mode, from where it is much easier to approach girls and learn seduction.
When I'm beating myself up I just start looking for another girl to approach. Don't linger. He must talk to attractive woman in his normal life... but just "friendly"? What if he went to bar, got shittered, and someone pushes him into talking to at least one girl he thinks is ok. Dude needs to start approaching, to ANY degree, period. He needs to know that approaching is dope, and once you do it you understand why people like to and why it is such a badass thing to take up.
Author:  JohnnyMaddick [ Tue Sep 23, 2014 8:29 am ]
Post subject:  Re: What to do if you dont approach and you feel terrible ab
1. Get into social state by talking to anyone.
2. Approach attractive girls in this social state.
Author:  JackZero [ Tue Sep 23, 2014 3:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What to do if you dont approach and you feel terrible ab
Quote:
1. Get into social state by talking to anyone.
2. Approach attractive girls in this social state.
This plan could work if those were the exact steps you listed without any of the fluff. Why? There is no avoiding the approach. But we both know that this isn't what you have been describing.

What I guess I can't get you to understand the problem with this plan is, it has been proven not to work over and over again. What I hate is that there is a guy with approach anxiety that is trying to figure out a way to conquer his fear and this idea is going to seem like it makes sense because he is desperately trying to figure out a way to avoid the underlying issue...he's afraid to be rejected. Your technique doesn't conquer that fear. At best it is a plan that will make more women want to approach him, which sucks because he won't have confidence with women until they come up to him.

I understand that the whole point of your posts are to get viewers for youtube channel. I get that. I just have a problem with the fact that your PUA advice is going to cause people to think pick up doesn't really work when they aren't getting results.
Author:  Dragula [ Tue Sep 23, 2014 4:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What to do if you dont approach and you feel terrible ab
Quote:
A student of mine had a problem, every time he wanted to approach a girl that he liked and didn't do it, he would start beating himself up, think about it all day long, replaying different scenarios in his head, consider himself a coward and feel like shit, then would get very depressed up to the point he would think life has no meaning anymore. This might be an extreme case but all of us are familiar with this feeling.
Sounds like pick up should be way down on his priority list and a therapist should be #1 in my opinion. The is clearly too mentally unstable and you might actually do more harm than good even though you are trying to help.

Think about it, Tthis guy needs to get rejected at least 200+ times before he can gather confidence and perhaps even get laid depending on his fundamentals. He is not ready. He needs to sort his head out first and foremost.
Author:  JohnnyMaddick [ Tue Sep 23, 2014 5:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What to do if you dont approach and you feel terrible ab
Quote:
Start talking to guys, then social topics with unattractive girls, then attractive girls, then flirting.
Author:  JackZero [ Tue Sep 23, 2014 5:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What to do if you dont approach and you feel terrible ab
Quote:
Quote:
Start talking to guys, then social topics with unattractive girls, then attractive girls, then flirting.
Quote:
I recommend you start approaching someone who you don't necessarily like, or not attracted to. Start any conversation, socially acceptable. Like ask for directions, time, use any kind of opinion opener (there are many of them on the internet). Have no agenda, dont ask for the phone numbers or anything. You may say a compliment, but dont expect anything in return. If you dont feel really comfortable talking with girls, talk with guys first.
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