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Did i do the right thing acting unjealous?
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Author:  dorkley [ Fri Sep 19, 2014 1:12 am ]
Post subject:  Did i do the right thing acting unjealous?
My gf of 2 years hasn't hung out with her beta guy friend in over a year. She talks down about him and ive been introduced before. He talked highly of me to her after meeting me. One problem is i think he might have been a buddy of her ex boyfriend too.

They used to hang out sometimes when i first met her and shes known him since the beginning of high school. We are mid 20s now.

Well two weeks ago they hung out with a mutual friend, a girl. Then i guess the other night they went to a local bar just the two of them for like an hour. My girl even complained that it was boring and they had nothing to talk about. Should i be cool with this? I played it cool, i drive to work with a female coworker to save money and while jealous my girl never seriously protested. I get lunch with her too, and my girl has lunch with a male colleague she works with too.
Author:  GamesSN [ Fri Sep 19, 2014 1:33 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Did i do the right thing acting unjealous?
I would say getting/giving a lift to a co-worker is totally different to going out with a guy to a bar and drinking alone with him.

I'd say it's not a big deal but if she's spending more and more time with him progressively then something's going on.

At the risk of sounding like a "bro"... She's interested in him. Why is she bitching about him and meeting up with him if he's so "boring"? She's thinking of fucking him dude and if she meets up with him again and bitches about how "boring" or annoying or anything negative about him then she's hiding what's really going on. That's all that puts me off about it and makes me call her out.

I mean I have hot female friends I meet up with and go for coffees with. Doesn't mean i'm fucking them but I know for a fact one or two of them fancied me and would have kissed me if I made a move.
Author:  dorkley [ Fri Sep 19, 2014 1:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Did i do the right thing acting unjealous?
Quote:
I would say getting/giving a lift to a co-worker is totally different to going out with a guy to a bar and drinking alone with him.

I'd say it's not a big deal but if she's spending more and more time with him progressively then something's going on.

At the risk of sounding like a "bro"... She's interested in him. Why is she bitching about him and meeting up with him if he's so "boring"? She's thinking of fucking him dude and if she meets up with him again and bitches about how "boring" or annoying or anything negative about him then she's hiding what's really going on. That's all that puts me off about it and makes me call her out.

I mean I have hot female friends I meet up with and go for coffees with. Doesn't mean i'm fucking them but I know for a fact one or two of them fancied me and would have kissed me if I made a move.

Well shes said hes smelly, shes tried to set him up with that girl they hung out with that one time, and he is real beta. Like unconfident type guy.

Same with the guy from work. She has tried to set him up with a friend too
Author:  warlock914 [ Fri Sep 19, 2014 2:06 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Did i do the right thing acting unjealous?
Your first concern is if your girlfriend's male friend is a legitimate threat. He is friend zoned and has a history so should be harmless. You can take a deep breath and play it two ways.

One is what she desires and gets turned on by is that you get jealous. She is seeking this emotion to test if you truly care. Also that you are close to other females means that she IS insanely jealous (some chicks would not tolerate that). You can give her what she wants, but if you don't feel the same way you would falsely lead her on and should reconsider.

Option two is to continue to play it cool. She's trying to be subtle and cute and playing games. If you guys of two years are comfortable around each other, eventually one of you will be confrontational and start talking about it directly.

Good luck,
W
Author:  dorkley [ Fri Sep 19, 2014 12:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Did i do the right thing acting unjealous?
What I am concerned about is how it LOOKS to my girlfriend. Does she think I am letting her get away with something? Do I look weak here if I am unaffected?

We talked in the past about being friends with/hanging with the opposite sex. We said in general we can just bring each other along, but of course it is harmless if it is someone who we've known for a long time like kate (one of my long time friends) or the guy she went to the bar with the other night.

She has complained that I am not jealous ever lol

another thing, the way she brough this up "I went to the bar with ____ the other night, I told you that right? Oh I didn't?"
Author:  warlock914 [ Fri Sep 19, 2014 9:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Did i do the right thing acting unjealous?
She is definitely attempting to make you jealous.

You shouldn't have any concerns, she is heavily invested in you and you would have to try hard to get rid of her at this point. Instead of worrying about perception or looks, how about being concerned about how you feel?

Are you more into Kate? Is she unavailable? You are young and you might want to experience other things and it sounds like you are just going through the motions with your girlfriend. Eventually she will run herself into circles and tire herself out and will protest about Kate directly. If she gives you an ultimatum, don't respond to it, it is only a bluff like propping up her male friends.
Author:  n2thevoid [ Fri Sep 19, 2014 10:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Did i do the right thing acting unjealous?
If you trust your girl you trust her.

For me I'd have an issue her hanging out with a straight male guy at night. Do i think she'd cheat? No. It's just a respect thing I wouldn't do the same with a female friend and expect her to be cool about it. To each their own.
Author:  dtrak [ Fri Sep 19, 2014 11:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Did i do the right thing acting unjealous?
Just do you bro, stop creating problems that arent even there and start taking things at face value. The minute you have to questions yourself if your acting a certain way or not is the minute your falling of the rails.

Just be cool about it and if it feels a certain way let your girl know, it shows you care and you seem more awsome in her eyes for being streight up.

I always make sure in situations like that the first thing I do is inner check to make sure im not just being a needy choad, once I know is not me and my noobness then I let her know how I feel about a certain issue, we discuss it and put eachothers mind at ease.

I feel like good relationships are all about solid communication of feelings.

That creates a strong bond.

I might be weird, but I know how my girl is feeling most of the time.

And if theres drama we eat it for dinner, lol.

Gota love some drama every once in a while though. Unintentional of course.

Good luck ;)
Author:  neo87 [ Fri Sep 19, 2014 11:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Did i do the right thing acting unjealous?
OP, why are you so insecure in this relationship? Are there other red flags or have you been hurt in the past or something? This is like your 5th thread about this girl so just wondering.
Author:  dorkley [ Fri Sep 19, 2014 11:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Did i do the right thing acting unjealous?
Quote:
OP, why are you so insecure in this relationship? Are there other red flags or have you been hurt in the past or something? This is like your 5th thread about this girl so just wondering.
Dont want her to think she can disrespect me. I want to maintain respect above all else. Id rather lose her than let her think she can do something disrespectful in her eyes. Thus i told her i went out with my old friend who is a girl last night. If she is doing it, im doing it, so that way if she views it as disrespectful on her part then its an eye for an eye. I know shell bring it up and then we can talk about it and suggest to stop hanging at night with the opposite sex alone as a mutual thing

I know its petty and can be bad. But i wont let it escalate
Author:  dtrak [ Fri Sep 19, 2014 11:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Did i do the right thing acting unjealous?
I remember befor I use to play does type of games with my girls, I think back now and im a grown as man (22) and everytime I find myself starting games I analyze and bring it up. Little games can never be good and is mentally exhausting. Id be real or be out.

For example, she does this, so I do that, she does that and I do this.

That totally defeats the point of a relationship in my point.

Be real with eachother, love each other.

Love always win, sorry if I sound corny
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