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Getting back together, I've got a plan. Need input.
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Author:  Throwaway01 [ Sat Aug 23, 2014 8:30 am ]
Post subject:  Getting back together, I've got a plan. Need input.
Hey PUAforum, I used to visit this place often before I met my girlfriend. Who is now my ex after a relationship of almost 3 years and I'd like your help in getting the relationship back on track. There's enough to go by to repair it and I have a basic understanding of gaming.

Basically, she said the attraction had gotten less over the past few months and her starting at a new university which is about an hour from mine was the thing that made her re-evaluate and break it off. Which is bullshit because the last university she was in was about 50 minutes away from where I lived.

In the end, I made no personal progress for a year. Got boring and we as a couple got stuck in a rut. On top of that we didn't see each other enough to fix it and in the end she didn't feel like trying to fix it at all.

My plan? Work on myself and show her (and myself) that I'm worth it.

- Learn how to go out and be social, meet new people. I need to be and want to be the guy that can get along with her friends.
- Improve my appearance just a tiny bit more. I'm muscular, maybe a bit too much and working on slimming down now. I'll also be working on my clothing style, it needs some finishing touches. goal is 6'0.5/184cm at 175lbs/79kg and 8% fat.
- Do well at uni
- Join a fraternity
- Make friends, be awesome.

So far, I've gotten an old crush who I fucked things up with, badly, on board to help me. She was extremely receptive. Suspiciously so because I was ashamed to talk to her because of how I acted 3 years prior.

My ex knows I like this girl, and this girl has no problems with shifting things in my favour. She's going to be one of the few people helping me out with being more social and I'm tagging along with her to learn how to party/club. She's a pro.

She is also 100% sure she'll be able to talk my ex into trying again. Me being attracted to her and her telling my ex this seems like an amazing thing to me. But time will tell.

I'll be holding off contact for a few weeks and I will be going by feel. Improve and work on uni stuff and work as fast as I can and I'll probably text her on our anniversary date, depending on wether or not she's initiated contact by then It's also the day before uni starts for both of us.

On top of that, I'm still welcome to come and stay at her place in her new town and party with her. And she's definitely up for doing the same in my town.

I feel that improving, working on my game a bit and joining a fraternity + doing well in uni will give me much more value and make me more interesting again. My plan is to ask her out to dinner for her birthday, it's about a month from now and we agreed to stay friends but going to her parents place for a birthday that soon and see her entire family? It'd be awkward.

Dinner at our favourite restaurant, game her a bit. Reminisce. And try to set up a second date or see if there's any interest left at all without forcing it.

If that goes well, and we get to a third or fourth date and we're getting more intimate again I'll be going out with her and the girl I talked about before. Just party hard, do whatever and in the end flirt and hopefully we'll end up asleep in her bed and will wake up next to eachother in the mornings.

to recap, my faults were being clingy/smothering. Not doing something with my life and letting our relationship get stuck in a rut. Her faults? Not wanting to work on it, and letting the relationship get stuck in a rut and run it's course, but who can blame her with the guy I'd become.

Thoughts? additions? This is my basic plan for now. I needed this wake up call, now it's up to me to fix this. We knew eachothers families well, we were well liked by all of them and even her friends loved us together.

Try to keep it to constructive criticism, I'm still a bit shaken from the break up.
Author:  Playboi_ [ Sat Aug 23, 2014 8:57 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Getting back together, I've got a plan. Need input.
Honestly, I would guess that she didn't let it get stuck in a rut. She was fucking other guys. Focus on yourself and you shouldn't have time to list who did what to send the relationship off track. The only thing anyone did wrong was you trying to date someone you already broke up with. I'll never understand that shit.

You're trying to win back a girl that dumped you ? Is she even interested you in anymore dude?
Author:  Throwaway01 [ Sat Aug 23, 2014 9:09 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Getting back together, I've got a plan. Need input.
Quote:
Honestly, I would guess that she didn't let it get stuck in a rut. She was fucking other guys. Focus on yourself and you shouldn't have time to list who did what to send the relationship off track. The only thing anyone did wrong was you trying to date someone you already broke up with. I'll never understand that shit.

You're trying to win back a girl that dumped you ? Is she even interested you in anymore dude?
I'm 100% sure she didn't fuck anyone else. If she did she would've told me when we broke up. And the reason it got stuck in a rut? Stress, uni, exams, family stuff, then when we figured something was up and we should fix it? She got ill for 3 weeks, then had to leave to go on a planned 3 week holiday with her parents, she had resits after that. Then a fulltime job for 3 weeks and she had to go room-hunting 2 hours away as well.

We got together as much as we could, but it was never enough time to do anything worthwhile.

And yeah, I am trying to win back a girl that dumped me. But our breakup was amicable and left more than enough room to create new attraction and rekindle the relationship.

Hell, I might be overreacting and she could just come back to me in a few days/weeks. I have no idea at this point.
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