PUA Forum :: I only talk to my girlfriend in person, is this normal?

Ever since we started dating, I always took a long time to respond to her texts to show I was busy, never really talked on the phone, ect. She would complain of this, but I knew that I was being a challenge and her interest has stayed very high.

The problem is though, she doesn't really chase me. For example I will see her on the weekend, two days will go by no contact from either side, then she will call to set up plans or vice versa.

She talks to her friends and they are amazed that we don't small talk, say goodnight to each other, talk every day, ect.

She thinks that we don't talk like a typical bf and gf

Am I doing it right boys? Or am I being insensitive? I pretty much never call or text her except to make plans

What pisses me off a little is, she will complain that I don't do this, but she doesn't do it either! When she complains I laugh and brush it off jokingly or tell her with a smile"well just text me if you want to talk! or call me! I like to talk to you!" but she doesn't , I think because she has pride

You don't have to talk everyday. IF the 2 people are those kind of people. But it sounds like your girl isn't and needs more. I gotta admit though, it sounds strange to me to go days without talking, and it's probably against ALOT of relationships out there especially with texting and social media. If you don't have things to tell your girl during the day, or you just don't like talking to her, maybe she isn't for you. She's right though, your relationship isn't progressing.

how do I fix this if I DO want as much as she does? gradually contact her?

when I asked her why she doesn't text me then if she wants to talk, she says because she doesn't want to if it won't be reciprocated. she also says it isn't going to change.

I told her to watch out comparing to what she sees though, since the typical relationship that talks constantly usually gets dull. she says she knows this, but she wants a little bit

she even said "I have a boyfriend on the weekends" or something to that effect.

Quote:

So, like many other things, pickup is an art and science.

Science says: don't blow her phone up and act like an AFC that has a boring life and is needy.

Art says: you have to feel it out for yourself. If she's asking you for more, you need to give it to her. Do more until she stops bringing it up. You want to avoid being overt in your intentions though (i.e. "Here's my message since you asked for it") Do it gradually. Don't just all of a sudden start sending paragraphs. If you've not been doing texts for days, start by saying good morning/good night and little stuff inbetween. If you have to work explain that. You can fudge a little here even if you're not that busy. Like you've noted, don't overdo it since that can remove the intruige in the relationship.

I can recall, almost any time I talk about the dynamics of the relationship, it is going south.... try to avoid these conversation threads... ("You don't text me... It won't be reciprocated..." etc ) When it comes up change threads immediately!!

Who cares who else she's seeing or what she says about other dudes. Only AFCs give a shit about that because PUAs can find another girl to talk to the same day.

And what do you mean by going south if you talk about the dynamics of the relationship? Do you mean the whole relationship going south or that conversation is just a bad one to have and the conversation is going south? She says she is not bored and still excited and wants to talk to me, and this was without me asking her this

Author:	dorkley [ Tue Aug 12, 2014 5:46 pm ]
Post subject:	I only talk to my girlfriend in person, is this normal?
Ever since we started dating, I always took a long time to respond to her texts to show I was busy, never really talked on the phone, ect. She would complain of this, but I knew that I was being a challenge and her interest has stayed very high. The problem is though, she doesn't really chase me. For example I will see her on the weekend, two days will go by no contact from either side, then she will call to set up plans or vice versa. She talks to her friends and they are amazed that we don't small talk, say goodnight to each other, talk every day, ect. She thinks that we don't talk like a typical bf and gf Am I doing it right boys? Or am I being insensitive? I pretty much never call or text her except to make plans What pisses me off a little is, she will complain that I don't do this, but she doesn't do it either! When she complains I laugh and brush it off jokingly or tell her with a smile"well just text me if you want to talk! or call me! I like to talk to you!" but she doesn't , I think because she has pride

Author:	masterm1ne [ Tue Aug 12, 2014 5:52 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I only talk to my girlfriend in person, is this normal?
I believe in the rule of reciprocity, though most PUAs will tell you to only give 2/3rds of what you get. I give the girl as much as she gives me. If she texts paragraphs, I do. If she does sentence fragments, I do, etc.

Author:	CharlesFinley [ Tue Aug 12, 2014 6:29 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I only talk to my girlfriend in person, is this normal?
Doesn't sound especially normal to me, but everyone's relationship is different. If you two are BF/GF then you probably don't need to make her wait for replies anymore. You can drop that act. If you actually want to talk to her, then just talk to her. If she's texting you or calling you and you're not replying so you can look like a challenge, then here's a news bulletin for you: You already got the girl and what you're doing is pissing her off. Start small: Shoot her a text a day and say good morning.

Author:	Eddie Fews [ Tue Aug 12, 2014 8:53 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I only talk to my girlfriend in person, is this normal?
Quote: Ever since we started dating, I always took a long time to respond to her texts to show I was busy, never really talked on the phone, ect. She would complain of this, but I knew that I was being a challenge and her interest has stayed very high. The problem is though, she doesn't really chase me. For example I will see her on the weekend, two days will go by no contact from either side, then she will call to set up plans or vice versa. She talks to her friends and they are amazed that we don't small talk, say goodnight to each other, talk every day, ect. She thinks that we don't talk like a typical bf and gf Am I doing it right boys? Or am I being insensitive? I pretty much never call or text her except to make plans What pisses me off a little is, she will complain that I don't do this, but she doesn't do it either! When she complains I laugh and brush it off jokingly or tell her with a smile"well just text me if you want to talk! or call me! I like to talk to you!" but she doesn't , I think because she has pride There is no one that can give you detailed advice on this. Create your relationship the way that you want to create it. I'm personally with you on that. I think technology and cell phones have ruined relationships a bit. Because now there is this " we have to talk all the time thing". It makes relationships go stale quickly for me. I prefer to talk when we see each other. It makes it more special. Constant communication has led the mystery to be depleted in most of my LTR's.. At least from the girls angle. I keep my mystery up because I'm trained to. The girl usually doesn't. I like what you have going. But you have to decide from yourself what you want. I can tell you this though; if you're going to make a switch, ease into it slowly. A rapid switch will confuse the dynamic of the relationship. Women always claim to want things and then are unattracted once they get it. But if your relationship is working and you're happy. Keep doing what you do. Don't broke what ain't fixed. Women will complain no matter what.

Author:	dorkley [ Tue Aug 12, 2014 10:20 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I only talk to my girlfriend in person, is this normal?
Excellent advice eddie thank you. Thank you to the others as well

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Author:	dorkley [ Thu Aug 14, 2014 12:27 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I only talk to my girlfriend in person, is this normal?
now she says that she feels we are at a standstill and could be closer at this point in the relationship after a few years, because when it isn't in person we go cold for like 1-3 days. And that maybe I don't want the same thing out of this as she does. LOL And that every time we see each other after 2 or 3 days, she doesn't feel as close at first because we haven't talked "I know you are going to think I am sounding needy"

Author:	neo87 [ Thu Aug 14, 2014 1:28 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I only talk to my girlfriend in person, is this normal?
You don't have to talk everyday. IF the 2 people are those kind of people. But it sounds like your girl isn't and needs more. I gotta admit though, it sounds strange to me to go days without talking, and it's probably against ALOT of relationships out there especially with texting and social media. If you don't have things to tell your girl during the day, or you just don't like talking to her, maybe she isn't for you. She's right though, your relationship isn't progressing.

Author:	dorkley [ Thu Aug 14, 2014 1:48 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I only talk to my girlfriend in person, is this normal?
Quote: You don't have to talk everyday. IF the 2 people are those kind of people. But it sounds like your girl isn't and needs more. I gotta admit though, it sounds strange to me to go days without talking, and it's probably against ALOT of relationships out there especially with texting and social media. If you don't have things to tell your girl during the day, or you just don't like talking to her, maybe she isn't for you. She's right though, your relationship isn't progressing. how do I fix this if I DO want as much as she does? gradually contact her? when I asked her why she doesn't text me then if she wants to talk, she says because she doesn't want to if it won't be reciprocated. she also says it isn't going to change. I told her to watch out comparing to what she sees though, since the typical relationship that talks constantly usually gets dull. she says she knows this, but she wants a little bit she even said "I have a boyfriend on the weekends" or something to that effect.

Author:	masterm1ne [ Thu Aug 14, 2014 2:02 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I only talk to my girlfriend in person, is this normal?
Quote: how do I fix this if I DO want as much as she does? gradually contact her? when I asked her why she doesn't text me then if she wants to talk, she says because she doesn't want to if it won't be reciprocated. she also says it isn't going to change. I told her to watch out comparing to what she sees though, since the typical relationship that talks constantly usually gets dull. she says she knows this, but she wants a little bit she even said "I have a boyfriend on the weekends" or something to that effect. So, like many other things, pickup is an art and science. Science says: don't blow her phone up and act like an AFC that has a boring life and is needy. Art says: you have to feel it out for yourself. If she's asking you for more, you need to give it to her. Do more until she stops bringing it up. You want to avoid being overt in your intentions though (i.e. "Here's my message since you asked for it") Do it gradually. Don't just all of a sudden start sending paragraphs. If you've not been doing texts for days, start by saying good morning/good night and little stuff inbetween. If you have to work explain that. You can fudge a little here even if you're not that busy. Like you've noted, don't overdo it since that can remove the intruige in the relationship. I can recall, almost any time I talk about the dynamics of the relationship, it is going south.... try to avoid these conversation threads... ("You don't text me... It won't be reciprocated..." etc ) When it comes up change threads immediately!! Who cares who else she's seeing or what she says about other dudes. Only AFCs give a shit about that because PUAs can find another girl to talk to the same day.

Author:	dorkley [ Thu Aug 14, 2014 2:06 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I only talk to my girlfriend in person, is this normal?
Quote: Quote: how do I fix this if I DO want as much as she does? gradually contact her? when I asked her why she doesn't text me then if she wants to talk, she says because she doesn't want to if it won't be reciprocated. she also says it isn't going to change. I told her to watch out comparing to what she sees though, since the typical relationship that talks constantly usually gets dull. she says she knows this, but she wants a little bit she even said "I have a boyfriend on the weekends" or something to that effect. So, like many other things, pickup is an art and science. Science says: don't blow her phone up and act like an AFC that has a boring life and is needy. Art says: you have to feel it out for yourself. If she's asking you for more, you need to give it to her. Do more until she stops bringing it up. You want to avoid being overt in your intentions though (i.e. "Here's my message since you asked for it") Do it gradually. Don't just all of a sudden start sending paragraphs. If you've not been doing texts for days, start by saying good morning/good night and little stuff inbetween. If you have to work explain that. You can fudge a little here even if you're not that busy. Like you've noted, don't overdo it since that can remove the intruige in the relationship. I can recall, almost any time I talk about the dynamics of the relationship, it is going south.... try to avoid these conversation threads... ("You don't text me... It won't be reciprocated..." etc ) When it comes up change threads immediately!! Who cares who else she's seeing or what she says about other dudes. Only AFCs give a shit about that because PUAs can find another girl to talk to the same day. haha sorry I should clarify: she meant ME as the boyfriend on the weekends. AKA I'm not there as much or at all in between sometimes (though I do see her once during the week) And what do you mean by going south if you talk about the dynamics of the relationship? Do you mean the whole relationship going south or that conversation is just a bad one to have and the conversation is going south? She says she is not bored and still excited and wants to talk to me, and this was without me asking her this

Author:	masterm1ne [ Thu Aug 14, 2014 9:07 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I only talk to my girlfriend in person, is this normal?
Quote: And what do you mean by going south if you talk about the dynamics of the relationship? Do you mean the whole relationship going south or that conversation is just a bad one to have and the conversation is going south? She says she is not bored and still excited and wants to talk to me, and this was without me asking her this South meaning it's not good for the health of the relationship. Tread carefully when talking about where you are with the girl. The more I've talked about serious relationship stuff with a woman, the sour the relationship gets. Focus on having fun and flirting and touching.

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