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Can't I just live my life and still be desired by women?
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Author:  Straightforward [ Wed Apr 30, 2014 4:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Can't I just live my life and still be desired by women?
What do you really have to do in your spare time to get laid?

I've seen people with good looking girlfriends fly airplanes, fight.

But if I just want to be at home, code, go out from time to time and talk about psychology or computer science, does that mean I cannot get laid?

It seems to make me boring when in fact I really like what I do.

There's a lot of myths going around saying that you should have an eventful life, but I just am not happy with that. I don't want to throw a fucking party just to have sex with a woman I like; or fly a fucking plane or get my head smashed in a fighting competition.

Can't I just live my life and still be desired by women?
Author:  Hudson Hawke [ Thu May 01, 2014 5:51 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Can't I just live my life and still be desired by women?
It really depends on the type of girl you want to chase after you, or that you chase after. Age and general interest factor into something like this. I mean unless you have genetically perfect looks/body, the model or early 20's girl isn't going to be attracted to a homebody unless that's what they are looking for.

This is a video I watched last year which helped give me some perspective. It's long but definitely worth the watch.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlJLLjE9_To
Author:  hugge [ Thu May 01, 2014 6:05 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Can't I just live my life and still be desired by women?
When you are past the beginner issues like AA, confidence, body language etc (stuff that most forum posts here is about), pickup and seduction ultimately boils down to a few simple things:

1. Offer value. This by far the most important thing, and probably your core issue, but it is quite vague. It means that you need to entertain your audience, make them happy and feel good around you. You don't have to be a standup comedian, but you need to be stimulating, interesting, and/or the one who amps up the energy. Many guys need to be in state in order to do so (like me). I can see the difference like day and night when I'm in state compared to out of state. It is of course possible to attract someone talking about computers, if you can find a girl who is interested in the same areas as you, but it is definitely not as easy. Psychology wins over computer science here. Easy. :)

2. Keep her attention on you at all times. Constant attention is key to seduction.

3. Be dominant and all that stuff.

So the short answer is: Yes, everything is possible. You just make it harder for yourself.
Author:  Airbender [ Thu May 01, 2014 7:52 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Can't I just live my life and still be desired by women?
Quote:
What do you really have to do in your spare time to get laid?

I've seen people with good looking girlfriends flying airplanes, fighting.

But if I just want to be at home, code, go out from time to time and talk about psychology or computer science, does that mean I cannot get laid?

It seems to make me boring when in fact I really like what I do.

There's a lot of myths going around saying that you should have an eventful life, but I just am not happy with that. I don't want to throw a fucking party just to have sex with a woman I like; or fly a fucking plane or get my head smashed in a fighting competition.

Can't I just live my life and still be desired by women?

i feel you man i am in same boat and finding hard to get women as i try all that but i dont have the personality and women wants all these fun stuff keep her attions and keep her comming for more and to be honest it is hard and i totaly feel you
Author:  Pikeman85 [ Thu May 01, 2014 3:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Can't I just live my life and still be desired by women?
As others have said, once you get past the newbie issues, a lot of it is about fit, energy level and what interests you have in common.

Once you've mastered the basics (so I'd say intermediate level), can be funny, can escalate, etc, it's all about finding girls that are a fit for what you are looking for right then.

To some extent, attractive young women seem to like going out and partying - it's a ton of validation and they get a ton of emotional spikes from it - basically crack for girls. If that's not something you enjoy at all, it will be difficult to get along with party girls (which -most- younger women, especially younger attractive women, seem to be).

What you might want to do, if this is your ideal - is make yourself more of an extrovert (go out more often, learn how to dance, make friends at local hotspots in your town - especially attractive girls (note, this is different than the "friendzone")) as well as look for ambitious/university girls that are more open to those sorts of topics. I've found that since moving to a university town for a new job that the supply of educated, intelligent women who want to have meaningful conversations about intellectual topics has skyrocketed. I suspect that if I were in rural Alabama, that would not be the case.

If you add value, are entertaining, sexy and fun and are involved in activities where girls are frequently at (some sort of social activity, doesn't have to be night clubs) - you'll meet girls. Just know how to seduce a girl, and seduce the ones you run into.
Author:  lizardking [ Thu May 01, 2014 3:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Can't I just live my life and still be desired by women?
Do you know what/who you are looking for?

I'd suggest writing a description of your ideal woman then work backwards from there. Where are you going to find women like that? How? When? How will you identify if a woman fits that bill?

You get different types of women in different places and at different times. Think about how you adapt to that situation.

Like Pikeman says above, get the basic skills down and the rest is just about finding a woman that fits your requirements. A good set of skills isn't worth a damn though if you are sending out a message that either anyone will do or you don't know who you are looking for.

Any good sales book will tell you: know who your customers are and go where your customers are. The rest is just technique. Confidence and all the rest of it is just an easy name for knowing what you're doing.

I had a long relationship with a woman I thought was unique and that I'd met through pure luck. When it ended it stung because I thought she was irreplaceable until I realised that a. she wasn't unique and b. it wasn't luck, it was through effort and good planning. I'd made it happen. That's what you need to do. Yeah, shit happens at random but a hell of a lot more happens because of hard work.

Just as an aside, I'd really suggest day game. I'm not a homebody but I'm also not huge into clubs either. Day game gives you access to a much broader pool of women and to women that are less likely to be in a high energy mindset. You also find a lot more women with a brain in day game which sounds like it may be a big thing on your list.
Author:  Jay (Majik) [ Thu May 01, 2014 8:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Can't I just live my life and still be desired by women?
Most girls aren't going to want to sit around and do nothing with you all day....

Why would they want to sit around and be bored with you?
Author:  Straightforward [ Fri May 02, 2014 1:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Can't I just live my life and still be desired by women?
Please answer the question "What do you really have to do in your spare time to get laid?".
Author:  Zirk13 [ Tue Jul 08, 2014 4:59 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Can't I just live my life and still be desired by women?
they already told you the answer, find out what kinda girl you want. and then invest your life in things she finds appealing. all girls like all different things.

the idea is to have a life. because if all you have to talk about is I go home and watch tv after work then your not gonna keep her attention. have hobbies ave a social life, have things in your life that dont involve work or staying at home.
Author:  schoolofromance [ Tue Jul 08, 2014 7:02 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Can't I just live my life and still be desired by women?
In the initial phase of pick up, I was pretty much thinking like you. I changed all of my lifestyle to become very extroverted.

Eventually you will fix the basic of attraction and getting girls become a lot easier and more subconscious. I still spend large majority of my time doing programming and other things I did, but still manage to get laid. It is as simple as dropping a call and asking her to come over to settle the deed.
Author:  n2thevoid [ Tue Jul 08, 2014 8:50 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Can't I just live my life and still be desired by women?
Attraction to women comes from behavior. You can live a facade of a life that seems exciting but if you're doing it to impress women, that's neediness and is oft putting to most of them.

If being a coder full fills you, makes you happy, in turn you'll project your confidence and BE more attractive to women - you aren't DOING things to be attractive, you're just DOING you...and YES women will find THAT attractive.
Author:  n2thevoid [ Tue Jul 08, 2014 8:51 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Can't I just live my life and still be desired by women?
Quote:
they already told you the answer, find out what kinda girl you want. and then invest your life in things she finds appealing. all girls like all different things.

the idea is to have a life. because if all you have to talk about is I go home and watch tv after work then your not gonna keep her attention. have hobbies ave a social life, have things in your life that dont involve work or staying at home.
This is EXACTLY WHAT NOT TO DO! This is neediness at its core and is extremely unattractive to women. You've already placed her above you, before even meeting her. You blew it.
Author:  stundent2 [ Tue Jul 08, 2014 3:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Can't I just live my life and still be desired by women?
Quote:
Most girls aren't going to want to sit around and do nothing with you all day....

Why would they want to sit around and be bored with you?

Why should someone change their lifestyle just for women? Doesn't that count as beta move? Alpha men don't care what women think and just do what they like.
And it's not that they would have to sit at home all day. If she wouldn't like it she could suggest where to go and what to do. Right?
Author:  Zirk13 [ Tue Jul 08, 2014 3:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Can't I just live my life and still be desired by women?
my message does not pertain to doing things to get any particular girl, it says to find things he wants to do, try new things, basically have things to talk about. it in no ways says to change who he is for the girl. it says have things you like to do. or have done. he says all he does is go out to talk about computer science and psychology well then go out to do things pertaining to this. have something to talk about. he in no way adresses one particular girl and neither do I. its about a sense of adventure.

actually he implies himself he only wants to do the minimum necesarry, which 1. says he doesnt believe what he already does is entertaining and 2. wants something to talk about with women that they find exciting.

hes got the mentality ima workout alot cause women like a guy who are buff. when it should be ima do this or that cause I enjoy it or I want to try new things
Author:  Playboi_ [ Tue Jul 08, 2014 5:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Can't I just live my life and still be desired by women?
It is MORE THAN okay to do the things you love and still be desired by women. Good looks and a genuine personality help and it will be a little more difficult considering you will be lacking in the opportunity department but that lands on your shoulders.

Women find nothing more attractive in a man than his display of confidence. Confidence is doing whatever the fuck you want, within a somewhat accepted notion that society has instilled and being content with it. For a super geeky example: A girl sees a guy playing pokemon and obviously nervous and kind of hiding what he is doing because he knows people are looking, especially her. Without knowing, he has displayed lower value because she thinks he is hiding one of his hobbies because she is watching. Now, the dork he is playing is open about what he is doing and throwing down that Charizard with authority (yeah, I capitalized Charizard. Eat my dick). He is laughing it up and being himself, doing what he likes. Fuck what that chick is concerned about, dude has a fucking Charizard.

Ya dig?

Own your stuff. To increase your opportunities, do what you love but do more of it. Go to conventions or whatever coders do. Offer beginning coding classes. You may snag a hot dork who digs that you own what you do and do not give a fuck what she is stressing.
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