PUA Forum
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/

Text gaming how not to appear needy
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=178443		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  notepad [ Wed Apr 23, 2014 4:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Text gaming how not to appear needy
A few weeks ago I met an interesting HB7-8 at a bar. We talked for a bit and she gave me her number. We chatted a bit in texts. 4 days ago, I sent her: hey, I wanna set up a day and hour to go to the bar. Wanna schedule? (In my language it sounds casual rather than official, just hard to translate)
A day later she replied: I can't set up an hour as for now, but let's say Wednesday?
An hour and half later I replied "Wednesday's cool."

An hour ago I texted her: "So 23:30?" To which she replied: "Unfortunately I'm stuck at work until that hour..."

What should I do without coming off as needy and ruining the relationship before it even started?
Author:  Vlads [ Wed Apr 23, 2014 5:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Text gaming how not to appear needy
Quote:
A few weeks ago I met an interesting HB7-8 at a bar. We talked for a bit and she gave me my number. We chatted a bit in texts. 4 days ago, I sent her: hey, I wanna set up a date and hour to go to the bar. Wanna schedule? (In my language it sounds casual rather than official, just hard to translate)
A day later she replied: I can't set up an hour as for now, bet let's say Wednesday?
An hour and half later I replied "Wednesday's cool."

So an hour ago I texted her: "So 23:30?" To which she replied: "Unfortunately I'm stuck at work until that hour..."

What should I do without coming off as needy and ruining the relationship before it even started?
it's good she proposed Wednesday, but she stuck until 23:30, either she stupid and she try to see if you are,
either she is flaking you and she is stupid, anyway this stupidity limits with insult.
ask her when she can it's not a science rocket, if she suddenly says she can't wednesday then she is flaking you, and she is stupid, if she sets up an hour, then she maybe will not show with excuse.
anyway i would ask her what hour she can, just to see if she is stupid.

you can ask her tomorrow or friday again.
Author:  Dragula [ Wed Apr 23, 2014 5:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Text gaming how not to appear needy
Why don't you arrange a date AND time like most people?

Who goes on a date near to midnight? :s
Author:  notepad [ Wed Apr 23, 2014 5:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Text gaming how not to appear needy
"Ouch, when will you be available?"

"I need to wake up early tommorow.. We'll talk at Saturday? "

Doesn't it sound a bit weird that she didn't suggest Thursday or Friday?
Author:  Dragula [ Wed Apr 23, 2014 6:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Text gaming how not to appear needy
Maybe she has plans thu/fri
Author:  Vlads [ Wed Apr 23, 2014 6:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Text gaming how not to appear needy
Quote:
"Ouch, when will you be available?"

"I need to wake up early tommorow.. We'll talk at Saturday? "

Doesn't it sound a bit weird that she didn't suggest Thursday or Friday?
so she purposed wednesday and then said she is working until late O_O
she is trying to flak you and she is coming across as stupid.
just tell her, "nah, was nice to meet you bye bye".
Author:  BITmixit [ Thu Apr 24, 2014 9:15 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Text gaming how not to appear needy
Quote:
just tell her, "nah, was nice to meet you bye bye".
I wouldn't even do this to be honest as it shows reactive behavior, emotion and that you need to tell her "you fucked up" when really you should just lose interest because your a guy with plenty of social value.

Just don't text her now. I'd say standard advice, go out, game, get more numbers, fuck those girls. Ping her in a month or two with some random shit like "Yo, Pizza or Chinese?"

She's definitely flaking and doing it in a bitchy girl sense that you can't fight back. Drop this girl. She will be more trouble then it is worth.

If she texts you something like

"Where did you go? I'm free on Tuesday if you want to meet?"

just message her back something like

"I'm good, it was nice meeting you but you seem like a busy lass. Nice meeting you :)" < This works more. You don't need to be a prick to make a girl realize she's fucked up. Just be alpha/Nice simple really. Always have a mindset of "I'll be a nice guy but I only live once" sort of mindset.

Nice Guys don't finish last.
Quote:
Why don't you arrange a date AND time like most people?

Who goes on a date near to midnight? :s
To be fair to the OP it depends where you live. I live in Brighton and shit doesn't really kick off here night time wise till well past 10. Me and my girl normally don't get together till about 11 then head out at about 12. Back by 4-5, fucking her senseless.
Author:  notepad [ Sat Apr 26, 2014 5:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Text gaming how not to appear needy
So it's Saturday. She said "we'll talk at Saturday?" And I said "sure". I was thinking that in order to demonstrate high value and not appear needy I could text her "Hey, I'm actually kinda tired, catch up with you on another time?"

What do you say?

P.S
Its just because she cancelled on Wednesday, I don't want it to seem like I'm chasing her.
Author:  BITmixit [ Sat Apr 26, 2014 6:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Text gaming how not to appear needy
Quote:
Hey, I'm actually kinda tired, catch up with you on another time?".
No, only do this if something else actually comes up.

What you need to do now is NOT mention Saturday at all to her. In fact from now only reply to texts she sends you, don't chase her, don't iniate

if she is interested she'll message you about saturday confirming time and place.

If she isn't she won't or she'll make another excuse.

Simply don't give her attention unless she shows she wants it. You've already let her flake twice, now make her be the one to work for attention/meetup.

If Saturday doesn't happen = she's not interested and is fucking you about = just drop her, don't tell you are just move on in your own way.
Author:  Dragula [ Mon Apr 28, 2014 7:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Text gaming how not to appear needy
Quote:
Quote:

Quote:
Why don't you arrange a date AND time like most people?

Who goes on a date near to midnight? :s
To be fair to the OP it depends where you live. I live in Brighton and shit doesn't really kick off here night time wise till well past 10. Me and my girl normally don't get together till about 11 then head out at about 12. Back by 4-5, fucking her senseless.
I'ts the same for Manchester too, However...

To go on a date, you don't need these bars and clubs to be busy to do stuff...

Surely there are quiet bars that are open at 20:00 ish in Brighton? :S

Not to mention people are allowed to have days off from work.
Author:  Dragula [ Mon Apr 28, 2014 7:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Text gaming how not to appear needy
Quote:
Quote:

Quote:
Why don't you arrange a date AND time like most people?

Who goes on a date near to midnight? :s
To be fair to the OP it depends where you live. I live in Brighton and shit doesn't really kick off here night time wise till well past 10. Me and my girl normally don't get together till about 11 then head out at about 12. Back by 4-5, fucking her senseless.
I'ts the same for Manchester too, However...

To go on a date, you don't need these bars and clubs to busy and to be 'kicking off' to do stuff...

Surely there are quiet bars that are open at 20:00 ish in Brighton? :S

Not to mention people are allowed to have days off from work.
Author:  ElijahGuru [ Tue Apr 29, 2014 1:25 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Text gaming how not to appear needy
Question:

Did you state your intention with the girl before you two started texting? I would have made it clear that I was extremely interested in her and that we are meeting solely because of that interest. I would then DHV by demonstrating my extremely busy schedule and pick a date for us after which, I'd let her pick the place since I pick the date so that she is also invested. Try to stay congruent to your "busy" schedule by limiting the texts from the set-up to the meet-up, her chances of flaking are really low if done correctly. However, if she does flake, I always apply the "3 strikes" rule, I say (in response to her flake message): "No problem. Don't worry, I still like you, let's try for next Thursday (thursdays and sundays are the best days to ask women out)" and set-up the re-try. If she flakes again, the third attempt should be a little more aggressive, or what Mark Manson would call, setting boundaries. Tell her that "you do not appreciate when people are not serious about meeting up for dinner...", and that you're free next sunday and "...would like to give it one more try, and to meet you at so and so if you're serious". If she does not come, drop her, and forget her- in fact, never message her again. This is good for two reasons. One, it demonstrates that you're not needy and have plenty of options. Two, if she had thought you were a creep in the beginning, the chance that you have totally ditched her without attempting to cling on to her shows her that you're different and chances are she may end up texting you sometime.

Also- not all girls flake because of disinterest. Some girls flake as a way to test you (to either see if you really like her or if you're a man who can handle rejection: the second strike demonstrates persistence and the third strike sets boundaries demonstrating vulnerability (leaving her the opportunity to reject you). Apply the three strikes whenever you can.

-Elijah
Author:  r0cky [ Tue Apr 29, 2014 1:27 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Text gaming how not to appear needy
I think its too late now but for next time try out my method for setting up dates.
When you ask for a date, make her do some investment. Dont ask her if shes free monday, etc, because then you're the one doing all the planning. "I'd love to meet up for a drink. what days are you free?" This saves you a lot of unnecessary back and forth. By the way, theres no need to specify where you will be meeting up until the day of or the day prior to the date. And if she asks just tell her you will let her know soon. Be mysterious.

Most women flake because they dont feel comfortable, so you need to make her feel comfortable. This is why you want to call her a day or 2 before the date. All you want to do in this call is get confirmation, and maybe you can get into logistics and have small chit chat with her. Texting alone will not be enough to set comfort. ALSO, when you call her to confirm rather than text, you show that you are serious about it. Women dont wanna seem easy, and, specially if shes on the fence about you, hearing your voice can be that extra push she needs to make up her mind and meet up. If she doesnt pick up leave her a voicemail but dont text or call her again until she gets back to you. I like to leave them a vm telling them the reason for my call and that they can call or TEXT me back. A lot of times they will text back, do not interpret this as a lack of interest and just go with it.
Author:  r0cky [ Tue Apr 29, 2014 1:35 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Text gaming how not to appear needy
Quote:
If she flakes again, the third attempt should be a little more aggressive, or what Mark Manson would call, setting boundaries. Tell her that "you do not appreciate when people are not serious about meeting up for dinner...", and that you're free next sunday and "...would like to give it one more try, and to meet you at so and so if you're serious".
Thats not aggressive enough. By the third strike its almost certain that you wont see her and this is when you try out "no fucks given" game. "Lets just save our time. You dont have to text me back if you're not interested".
Your time is more precious than a woman.
Author:  ElijahGuru [ Tue Apr 29, 2014 1:46 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Text gaming how not to appear needy
Quote:
Quote:
If she flakes again, the third attempt should be a little more aggressive, or what Mark Manson would call, setting boundaries. Tell her that "you do not appreciate when people are not serious about meeting up for dinner...", and that you're free next sunday and "...would like to give it one more try, and to meet you at so and so if you're serious".
Thats not aggressive enough. By the third strike its almost certain that you wont see her and this is when you try out "no fucks given" game. "Lets just save our time. You dont have to text me back if you're not interested".
Your time is more precious than a woman.
I agree. It is not aggressive enough. However, for someone attempting to get used to being aggressive it's a start. Your strategy is a whole lot better, and I can already see how effective it is without having used it yet. When I first started pick-up I would not have used your text as I would be afraid of insulting the girl or worse, losing her. I would have used my text to get the hang of demonstrating vulnerability. Nowadays, your text is easily the more effective one.

-Elijah
Page 1 of 1 All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/