Alright, so this is potentially going to be a silly thread but I could use some advice because I honestly don't know what to do.

Simple fact is, I want to meet people. I'm in college now for computer science and chances of meeting girls is very little. I've talked to the ones I thought were attractive, and ones who peaked my interest but it never worked out.

I know the best thing to do is just go out in the world and just talk to people, go to bars and cafés and what not.. Thing is, I am too afraid to do any of those things. I don't have friends who would want to go with me, and going alone terrified me. I'm terribly self conscious and have always just gone with what was comfortable. Usually sitting in my comfort zone forever.

Does anyone maybe have some advice on how I can break out of this? Or would it be better to just work on my own self esteem before worrying about finding some girl to date?

Are you old enough to go to bars?

EDIT: Nevermind, reread your post and you stated bars were an option. Derp. My bad.

Hey man, I feel your pain. Getting to know people used to be a struggle for me too.

I definitely think you should work on your self-esteem before trying to pursue girls. Don't use self-development as an excuse NOT to meet girls, but definitely pursue it for the sake of your future self.

What specifically scares/intimates you about striking up conversations with new people?

I know for me in my high school days, I thought I had to live up to an ideal image of myself. Since I thought my natural personality would turn people off, I would opt to stay in the background. I was overly invested in what other people to thought of me.

Which is a bit selfish, don't you think? In a social exchange, I wasn't interested in what others had to say or contribute to the convo. I'm just sitting there thinking and worrying about ME (and how I fit into the equation). It was a form of self-absorption. Like reverse narcissism or some shit.

Hopefully you can relate. I honestly don't remember how I came out of it. I think I eventually just stopped taking myself so seriously. I also recall a shift in which I started look at how valuable and interesting other people were, as opposed to thinking about how valuable and interesting I was to other people.

Another realization I experienced years afterwards was that most people are pretty self-conscious themselves. That blew my mind, because I was so focused on my problems, I forget that us humans all struggle together.

I think honestly, what scares me the most about going places is just the fact that I'd be alone. I always have this weird feeling of being judged for being alone. And to be honest as I write this it seems stupid to think that.

I think honestly, what scares me the most about going places is just the fact that I'd be alone. I always have this weird feeling of being judged for being alone. And to be honest as I write this it seems stupid to think that.