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The Change is Freaking Out My Family
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Author:  GrayJay [ Sat Feb 15, 2014 8:35 pm ]
Post subject:  The Change is Freaking Out My Family
I'm discovering that the more confident I am becoming that it's really freaking out certain relatives - particularly mom ;) lol

One of the big things is that I'm losing my fear of looking people into the eyes. Nowadays when family talk to me my gaze is more certain than theirs and I get told that my "eyes are weird", "dont look at me like that", etc... Its sort of humorous in that to listen to someone anymore I often have to just close my eyes.

I fugure this is all just because the familiar social structure is getting changed ... young lion is stirring in the den i suppose. I don't think that I'm coming off as an asshole because ive noticed that no matter how friendly and unnerving i try to be, my gaze is still freaking people out.

Have any of you had this same phenomena? How did you handle it?
Author:  Snarg [ Sat Feb 15, 2014 8:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Change is Freaking Out My Family
Eye contact shouldn't be freaking anyone out. If it is (especially to the point where they're saying something about it), you're doing it wrong.
Author:  prince_prince [ Sun Feb 16, 2014 2:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Change is Freaking Out My Family
Quote:
Eye contact shouldn't be freaking anyone out. If it is (especially to the point where they're saying something about it), you're doing it wrong.

Haha i agree.
Author:  Monsignor Crisanto [ Sun Feb 16, 2014 3:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Change is Freaking Out My Family
There's a big difference between sexual eye contact and routine day-to-day eye contact with your family, school or work environment depending on your social role.

Sexual eye contact is for seducing women. Don't use it in other social situations.
Author:  GrayJay [ Sun Feb 16, 2014 7:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Change is Freaking Out My Family
I talked to my cousin today (who is a really big guy) ... he said that he deals with people being intimidated by him on a daily basis. He said that because of his size people are intimidated by default, so he spends a lot of time making people feel safe.

Similarly, I think the issue is an Alpha issue... (I dont use seductive eyes with everyone... i just merely look people in the eyes) People are used to me not looking them in the eyes and being the submissive one; becoming a stronger person (ie. my cousin) is intimidating. This is my thinking....

On a sidenote: Ive been spending a lot of time doing comfort building kino with family members and friends and people are becoming more at rest with my strength of character.

Re: seductive eyes - I dont think this is a problem as I am having attraction results on a daily basis now.
One of the greatest attractions I instigated this week was with a very strong (body building) girl who showed me a strong look of judgmenet/disdain the other day.. i looked right back at her with what must have been at least the same amount of disdain (and composure) and i swear she must have had an immediate mini-orgasm by the look of shocked attraction on her face. After that I owned both her and the room.
Author:  GrayJay [ Sun Feb 16, 2014 11:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Change is Freaking Out My Family
For the sake of documentation: reading through a book on body language, im considering the issue might have to do with a naive/singular use of my eye communication... I'm showing dominant but perhaps need to focus on using the eyes more in a considered manner to not only assert dominance but also comfort, trust, aloofness, etc...
Author:  GamesSN [ Mon Feb 17, 2014 4:56 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Change is Freaking Out My Family
You're just doing it wrong simple as.

You shouldn't be getting comments like that from relatives or anyone for that matter. You're being a creep, so much of one you're legitimately freaking out your own family. The worst thing is you're mistaking it as being a good thing which breeds bad habits.

You're doing it wrong. Fix it. Don't take up bad and/or creepy habits.

There's a difference between a confident gaze/holding eye contact and just being a creep. For one you DON'T turn things into a staring contest and you should feel making eye contact AT FIRST is a natural thing for you. There's no need to actively seek out eye contact with everyone. If you see a girl you like make eye contact for roughly five seconds. If she doesn't break eye contact you break it and continue talking to your friend or whoever else unphased, smiling.

As a personal rule when i'm out I only ever scan when i'm talking to someone or they're talking to me. This demonstrates higher value as the person you're talking to comes across as being more interested in your attention than you are of theirs thus elevating you as the more dominant in the conversation. When you scan and make eye contact with a woman you better believe she's taking notice. When she notices, sees your interest in her over whoever else you're talking to she's going to keep looking back at you. If you break eye contact naturally, keep your cool, smile and continue your conversation this only adds mystery to you which generates interest. Then you reinforce the idea in her mind that you might be interested by making eye contact again for roughly five seconds. She'll get so flustered she'll approach you or give you an invitation to approach.

For day to day eye contact don't force it, don't make it a staring match, that's just creepy. Don't be afraid to break eye contact and learn to look over peoples shoulders when you're talking to them as opposed to locking eyes with them. Generally you keep eye contact to show your interest in someone without actually telling them, if you're not interested you will avert your eyes and look around. If you're shy or timid you'll break eye contact and look down. When you speak with a woman keep your eyes on her face. This subtly shows her you are interested in her.
Author:  DJ_Z [ Mon Feb 17, 2014 5:35 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Change is Freaking Out My Family
And ffs, don't kino your family.
Author:  GrayJay [ Mon Feb 17, 2014 5:50 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Change is Freaking Out My Family
Quote:
And ffs, don't kino your family.
when its gets past the whole need to do things jsut so you can fuck someone than you realize its all abou making people feel conmfortable. When you touch a friend while talking to them you show that youre comfortable and that they can feel comfortable.

the creepiness comes in doing that disingenuously - sexual or non sexual.
Author:  Jay (Majik) [ Tue Feb 18, 2014 5:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Change is Freaking Out My Family
Quote:
I'm discovering that the more confident I am becoming that it's really freaking out certain relatives - particularly mom ;) lol

One of the big things is that I'm losing my fear of looking people into the eyes. Nowadays when family talk to me my gaze is more certain than theirs and I get told that my "eyes are weird", "dont look at me like that", etc... Its sort of humorous in that to listen to someone anymore I often have to just close my eyes.

I fugure this is all just because the familiar social structure is getting changed ... young lion is stirring in the den i suppose. I don't think that I'm coming off as an asshole because ive noticed that no matter how friendly and unnerving i try to be, my gaze is still freaking people out.

Have any of you had this same phenomena? How did you handle it?

Let me ask you a question... were you raised by your mother?

(My mom hates me so I can relate lol)
Author:  GrayJay [ Thu Feb 20, 2014 5:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Change is Freaking Out My Family
Quote:

Let me ask you a question... were you raised by your mother?

(My mom hates me so I can relate lol)
Oh? did you have to fight to break out of the matriarchal model?

I was raised by both parents but adversarial with dad (constant power struggles) and close connection with mom.

Following up: The other day I sort of NLP'ed in the midst of the convo something like "... becoming strong.. blah blah blah .. you still have your position as mom .. blah blah blah ... and so on... ". Along with this Ive adopted an attitude of commenting on her earrings, her hair, etc... (things that make girls feel good).

Bottom line: she came to me the other day and randomly mentioned how my "new way" (my words, not hers) is growing on her. ;)
Author:  Snarg [ Thu Feb 20, 2014 6:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Change is Freaking Out My Family
...what in the actual fuck is going on in here?
Author:  GrayJay [ Thu Feb 20, 2014 6:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Change is Freaking Out My Family
Quote:
...what in the actual fuck is going on in here?
lool... no mom love if thats where your minds taking you ;)

This thread is about becoming Alpha and the social disruption it causes in an already established family hierarchy.
Author:  GumShoe [ Fri Feb 21, 2014 12:12 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Change is Freaking Out My Family
Quote:
And ffs, don't kino your family.
In MM, when is it the appropriate time to move with my Mom from C3 to S1?
Author:  GrayJay [ Fri Feb 21, 2014 7:11 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Change is Freaking Out My Family
Quote:
In MM, when is it the appropriate time to move with my Mom from C3 to S1?
It depends.. i used a speed induction technique and was in her pants before dinner. But whats been everyone else's experience with this dudes mom?
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