PUA Forum
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/

to pay or not?...to be generous or not?
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=175385		 Page 1 of 2
Author:  eltoro31 [ Sat Feb 08, 2014 5:42 pm ]
Post subject:  to pay or not?...to be generous or not?
Can anyone help with these questions. My rule is to do it only twice (to test n gauge them for reciprocity plus to practice push n pull on them) after that stop.

1. Do you pay for 1st dates?
2. Being generous or not with women? Inviting them over to home social events for eating food, watching games with friends, barbecue Sundays, etc.
3. Do you buy women gifts? flowers, small gifts $20.00-$50.00, movies, restaurants: foods or drinks, dinner, lunch, snacks, etc.

I am being told by some PUA' s not to do any of the above....Do not feed their needs!!...period.
Author:  n00bpua123 [ Sat Feb 08, 2014 6:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: to pay or not?...to be generous or not?
Quote:
Can anyone help with these questions. My rule is to do it only twice (to test n gauge them for reciprocity plus to practice push n pull on them) after that stop.

1. Do you pay for 1st dates?
2. Being generous or not with women? Inviting them over to home social events for eating food, watching games with friends, barbecue Sundays, etc.
3. Do you buy women gifts? flowers, small gifts $20.00-$50.00, movies, restaurants: foods or drinks, dinner, lunch, snacks, etc.

I am being told by some PUA' s not to do any of the above....Do not feed their needs!!...period.
It depends. Here's an article I wrote about that subject: http://cliffslist.com/should-you-pay-on-a-first-date/
Author:  Snarg [ Sat Feb 08, 2014 6:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: to pay or not?...to be generous or not?
1. Yes, I do. I don't care what anyone says, I will always pay for the first date.

2. Absolutely. Why not? It only builds more comfort. Of course, I'm more of a relationship seeker than a "let me see if I can fuck 50 women to boost my shitty self esteem" type of guy.

3. I don't buy her actual objects like flowers or candy unless it's for a holiday or something. I'd rather invest my money into providing an experience rather than a physical object, since the memory that the experience creates will put you much further ahead than if you try to buy her affection with presents.
Author:  hugge [ Sat Feb 08, 2014 9:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: to pay or not?...to be generous or not?
Before I answer your questions, I want to mention one thing about generosity that is extremely important! Whatever you do, you should never, never, never EVER expect anything in return! :)

1. Yes, I do, for two reasons. First, it is an old custom to be a gentleman, and women appreciate it. The hope that you will, and sometimes even expect you to (but that is not very attractive of her). Second, if you are the one who took the initiative asking her out, there is not even room for such a question.

2. Generosity is attractive, so the answer is YES. But as I mentioned, never expect anything back.

3. If I have a relationship with her, yes. Otherwise it depends on how well I know her. I don't buy stuff to a girl I have just met or dated once or twice.
Author:  eltoro31 [ Mon Feb 10, 2014 7:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: to pay or not?...to be generous or not?
I've talked to a few guys (supposedly PUA' s or wannabes) and I was told never...never on all three quest' s. You always have them pay for you in (foods, gifts, and entertainment) the more you can pull this off the better PUA' s, stud, a real man you are and or become...and I've heard to go Dutch on them. Pathetic and douche-bag mentality or what...wow?? Is this what our society has become?
Author:  Snarg [ Mon Feb 10, 2014 8:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: to pay or not?...to be generous or not?
I've heard that too. I am calling bullshit on those people. If a girl still wants you after you pull that shit, chances are she is a VERY low quality girl with absolutely no self esteem.
Author:  n2thevoid [ Mon Feb 10, 2014 8:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: to pay or not?...to be generous or not?
I pay. And I pay more often than not for the woman, not out of obligation but because I want to and if I like her I feel good about it.

To pay or not to pay, it all depends on the energy it comes out of. If you pay out of obligation then the two of you will 'pay' for it later on (you'll keep score of all the meals you pay and end up begrudging her for it). If you pay out of the energy of giving a gift because you enjoy the person's company, for example, then pay as often as you like.
Author:  Gradi0 [ Tue Feb 11, 2014 5:07 am ]
Post subject:  Re: to pay or not?...to be generous or not?
I make sure we both invest financially. I'll usually say something like, "hey, you get this one and I'll get the next".

The whole "guy pays for everything because he's a gentleman" is bullshit. It really shows he's a pussy and is scared of losing the girl, so he'd rather just pay her off. Let me ask you this: what does it say about the girl if she will stop talking to you because you don't feel it's fair to pay for a tab for someone you don't know? That's a low value woman right there.

I am not going to be generous to somebody I just met who will not show the same respect back.
Author:  n2thevoid [ Tue Feb 11, 2014 6:25 am ]
Post subject:  Re: to pay or not?...to be generous or not?
Quote:
I make sure we both invest financially. I'll usually say something like, "hey, you get this one and I'll get the next".

The whole "guy pays for everything because he's a gentleman" is bullshit. It really shows he's a pussy and is scared of losing the girl, so he'd rather just pay her off. Let me ask you this: what does it say about the girl if she will stop talking to you because you don't feel it's fair to pay for a tab for someone you don't know? That's a low value woman right there.

I am not going to be generous to somebody I just met who will not show the same respect back.
The guy who's preoccupied with not looking like a pussy just comes off as aloof asshole.
Author:  n00bpua123 [ Tue Feb 11, 2014 6:57 am ]
Post subject:  Re: to pay or not?...to be generous or not?
Quote:
I've talked to a few guys (supposedly PUA' s or wannabes) and I was told never...never on all three quest' s. You always have them pay for you in (foods, gifts, and entertainment) the more you can pull this off the better PUA' s, stud, a real man you are and or become...and I've heard to go Dutch on them. Pathetic and douche-bag mentality or what...wow?? Is this what our society has become?
Pure bullshit. If you always do that then you are decreasing your chances with women dramatically.
Author:  jane28 [ Tue Feb 11, 2014 10:32 am ]
Post subject:  Re: to pay or not?...to be generous or not?
it really depends on the girl that you are hanging out with..

if shes deserving to buy something or to spend a dime to her then i guess you should.
but if you think shes fooling you then don't waste time and money.
Author:  DJ_Z [ Tue Feb 11, 2014 3:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: to pay or not?...to be generous or not?
If you are legitimately paying because you are a generous personality, then fine. Just make sure to recognize your limits to avoid getting the girl to think that she can take you for all your worth.

If you are paying because you think the woman is superior to you, and that you need to pay in order to validate her having sex with you, i.e. she is so hot, she won't just sleep with me, I have to earn it, then stop what you're doing.

Gifts should be more rewards for her behavior than offerings for sexual favor at a later date. It's fucking valentine's day soon, how many commercials market the idea that you should buy her things so you can have a fun weekend naked with her?
Author:  venidos [ Tue Feb 11, 2014 3:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: to pay or not?...to be generous or not?
Never spoil a girl unless it was not to expensive and she will pay for a next time.

When i pick a first date i usualy go to places where you have to pay drinks/food in rounds and i pay the first round saying the next round is on her tab, or dont even say it and just expect her to pay the next round wich usualy happens automaticaly without question.

Never take her to something expensive where you have to pay evrything in a single end bill off 75$+ keep that for later dates when both of you have invested more, because it will make her feel guilty or spoiled, and then make her feel sorry for you. And you dont want to make a girl feel sorry for you because that puts you into a weaker position.


Its just like with friends, you make no issue on the who pays the first round if its cheap, but you expect the other person to pay the next round.
Author:  Gradi0 [ Tue Feb 11, 2014 10:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: to pay or not?...to be generous or not?
Quote:
Quote:
I make sure we both invest financially. I'll usually say something like, "hey, you get this one and I'll get the next".

The whole "guy pays for everything because he's a gentleman" is bullshit. It really shows he's a pussy and is scared of losing the girl, so he'd rather just pay her off. Let me ask you this: what does it say about the girl if she will stop talking to you because you don't feel it's fair to pay for a tab for someone you don't know? That's a low value woman right there.

I am not going to be generous to somebody I just met who will not show the same respect back.
The guy who's preoccupied with not looking like a pussy just comes off as aloof asshole.
So, unless if you pay for everything, for some chick you don't even know, you're an asshole? Makes perfect sense.

It's one thing if you buy a round of drinks, then she gets the next. You shouldn't have to throw money at a chick for her to think you're not an asshole.
Author:  Snarg [ Tue Feb 11, 2014 11:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: to pay or not?...to be generous or not?
If you see it as "throwing money at a chick" then that's your own problem.
Page 1 of 2 All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/