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All right, time to solve this once and for all.
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=175183		 Page 1 of 3
Author:  DemonKaz [ Tue Feb 04, 2014 4:48 pm ]
Post subject:  All right, time to solve this once and for all.
There is a girl at my work wich has put me in the friedzone. She is obsessed by our boss, who is not interested and has in fact dared me to get her in bed.

In a classic friendzone scenario she used to come to me saying how cute our boss is and used me as a general shoulder to cry and has flaked more than once.

In relation to our boss I have tried the alpha routine of "yeah, just go for it" alternating with "I don't care! Don't you have friends to talk about that crap?". Also, he is known for having a string of mistresses and I have thought about saying something like "And you're dying to be the next in line. Or do you think he will leave his wife, marry you and live happily ever after?" just to give her an emotional jolt. Even if I do not get her I get a sense this is what she needs to hear.

On other situations when she needs my support (when she had a falling out with a friend, when another colegue started slandering her) I just couldn't turn my back.

I tried being more sexual and ended up hurting her feelings. I apolegised, she took it better than I expected, everything is aparently fine between us, but still I get a feeling she is still a bit on the defensive and has not entirely forgiven me. I also tried freezing but coudn't hold it for long.

The whole situation is messed up. I was not going anywhere, but she never refused kino and always seemed cool with it. Also, she always followed me around, tried to get my attention on a group setting, always sat close to me, I made her laugh a lot and I'm sure I was the person she was closer to in the office. It's like she shows major IOI's but always gets cold feet when I ask her on a date or have any intention to move forward.

Now to add to the mix there is a new girl in the office wich seems to have taken my place as confident or bff or whatever crap our "relationship" was. I know having friend talks was not taking me anywhere, but still I think I ended up losing. If any, I lost my chance to do a proper freeze out and leave her hanging when she needs my support.

Is there anything left for me to do? I feel like I have tried everything, wich made me even more detirmined to get her. I do game other girls but none of them compares (I know, oneitis) and I do feel like she is the one. When she is not flaking on me, she is the short definition of everything I like in a girl, both looks and personality.

So is there any option left? And by the way I have no problem whatsoever in manipulating her or using mind games to get to my goal. Hell, I'd even hipnotize her if I knew how.
Author:  Il-Cavalieri [ Wed Feb 05, 2014 3:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: All right, time to solve this once and for all.
Sounds like there is not much more you can do. Keep her on a long fuse and game other girls. If she sees you with other girls maybe that sparks her interest.
Author:  CESARE [ Wed Feb 05, 2014 7:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: All right, time to solve this once and for all.
You look pretty much in the friendzone... Yes, try to make her a bit jealous, but not too much. Be careful not pushing too far...
Author:  DemonKaz [ Fri Feb 07, 2014 3:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: All right, time to solve this once and for all.
Thank you both. Any more opinions would be much appreciated.
Author:  Snarg [ Fri Feb 07, 2014 3:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: All right, time to solve this once and for all.
She's not interested. It's best to move on and just be friends.
Author:  DemonKaz [ Fri Feb 07, 2014 10:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: All right, time to solve this once and for all.
Quick (and urgent) update: a mutual friend invited us both to a private party at a very exclusive club. We are the only two singles of the group so I am kinda supposed to be her date.

Plan: kino, attention, funny, hit on other girls. Sounds good? Do I go all in or thread carefully, since we've been at it for so long?
Author:  Snarg [ Fri Feb 07, 2014 11:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: All right, time to solve this once and for all.
Good plan. Don't put so much focus on her, just let her come to you.
Author:  DemonKaz [ Sun Feb 09, 2014 11:19 am ]
Post subject:  Re: All right, time to solve this once and for all.
Went good. Could have gone better, but it could have been worse. She responded well to some light kino but I did not want to push it very far. Did not had many chances to game other girls either. It was the kind of place where everyone pretty much hanged with their own group. Still, when one of my friends said some girl was checking me out her head turned like it was spring loaded.

This was not a decisive event but it took me one step closer, although I still have a long way to go I believe I still have a chance.

Onto more imediate problems: do I send a text today? If yes, what do I say? Also, how do I act around her from now on? When and how do I make my next move?

Thank you all for being a supportive comunity.
Author:  Snarg [ Sun Feb 09, 2014 1:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: All right, time to solve this once and for all.
No need to send a text unless you have something worthwhile to say. It's not like you went on a date or anything so there's no need to be polite or whatever.

You act normal. No matter what happens, you act normal. Even if you have a threesome with her and a dog, you always act normal.

In a few days, call her up and see if she wants to meet you for drinks.
Author:  Zack Ripley [ Sun Feb 09, 2014 10:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: All right, time to solve this once and for all.
Sounds like she's playing hard to get.

When a girl plays hard to get, you need to act like she doesn't matter. Throw her little game right back in her face. When she tries to start a conversation with you, be a dick. Freeze her out, flirt with other girls in front of her, and show her attention only in the form of the occasional neg.

Then call her up for drinks.
Author:  DemonKaz [ Tue Feb 11, 2014 5:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: All right, time to solve this once and for all.
The road so far:

There may have been some initial atraction. I failed miserably because of insecurity and inexperience. Ended up in the friendzone. Escalated. Went too far and hurt her feelings. She states everithing is cool, we laugh a lot, she shares some very personal stuff with me and still turns to me for support, but I get a sense she is not as confortable around me as she used to be. We have been on two group hangouts when I was "her date", the first (before my bad escalation and we met less then a month before) went very good and I probably lost a chance to close solely on insecurity alone. Last weekend it was O.K. but it could have gone better.

Now:

I have done what you suggested and since then it has been business as usual. In fact she texted me first, asking if I got home O.K. We exchange texts on an almost daily basis since we met, usually small talk. And now I have a feeling she is playing a game.

As I said, I did not change a thing in my behaviour. Yesterday she recieved a call from her ex. She had mentioned him before, said it ended badly, she was not talking to him, said he had texted her and she hadn't answered. Yesterday he called her and it all seemed too convenient. Her phone rang (music ringtone, might as well be an MP3 from her playlist) wheile she was holding it, precisely in the half hour we spend together on the cafeteria. It may have been legit, but it all seemed a bit too perfect. The conversation was nothing special, just "Yes, I'm at work. Yeah, I've been fine." sort of crap. I just ignored her and watched the news on TV.

Yesterday evening she tagged me on a facebook picture the club photographer took when we were going in. Damn good picture, in fact. Me with chest sticking out and one arm around her waist on a red carpet pose. Real DHV pic. This morning as soon as she arrived she came to my office to coment on the picture. Wheile we were at it, the other girl I mentioned arrived. My target asked her if she had dark circles on her eyes because she had gone for coffee with some dude and only went to sleep around 1AM. Red flag number one: she usually goes to bed around that time. I have several facebook messages she sent me after 1AM and she has previously mentioned she stays up until late on facebook, so why would that be any diferent? Red flag number two: She complained the guy is shorter than she is. Not only that, last saturday night she mentioned she likes tall man (I'm a bit above average) with green eyes and a uniform. One out of three for me. That was after I have said I like blonde girls with blue eyes and light skin. She is only blonde, and a fake one even. Red flag number three: she mentioned the nice car he has. I am a well known car buff, so I took the chance to ignore everything else and concentrate on the car, asking about make, model, etc. Later, during break, she rambled some more about it. She mentioned he is a fireman. As I said, she has a very strong uniform fetish. Has dated two fireman (one was the alleged call) and both breakups were very nasty. Nothing useful other than that, just that it was a guy who had came to our office, she looked him up on fb, and that "he is O.K." and that was it. Wheile she had this conversation with the other girl I kept playing with my phone. Guess it made some effect since she remarked I was glued to the screen.

Best case scenario, I must be doing something right and whatever I am doing might be working. Although this is a long shot. Worst case scenario, I am about to lose her. It may be my mind blocking the painful truth but it all seemed a bit too perfect, like a well orchestrated play. The call at that precise moment, when she held her phone, taking it without even leaving the table to have some privacy. The coffee date and her saying repetedly that "She had slept so little" and "Her mind was elsewhere", maybe just to see if I asked for details. It may be legit, I may be on the verge of losing her, but I want to believe she is gaming me, maybe a little payback for back then. Making me jump through hoops and playing hard to get.

Any advice besides the old "run my own game, the other guy is not important"; "push her to him like I do not give a fuck" and "be a better man than him"? Also, how do I play the fireman card? A few days after I met her she told me about that breakup and how she was done with fireman because they are all egocentric jerks. How do I point out that repeating the same actions and expecting a diferent outcome is plain old stupid? I mean, how do I say "don't date him, he'll hurt you" without sounding like a wimpy AFC and keeping that cool "I don't give a fuck" act?

Any advice would be gratly apreciated. From all the girls I've gamed this is the only one worth keeping and I get the feeling that, one way or the other, I am in the home stretch. We have been at it for too damn long, every step forward followed by a step back, but now I think that soon I will either lose her entirely or make her my gf. Things are about to change and I really want them to fall my way.

Give me a hand masters of PUA.
Author:  n2thevoid [ Tue Feb 11, 2014 6:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: All right, time to solve this once and for all.
Quote:
She's not interested. It's best to move on and just be friends.
This.

She's not interested and you're torturing yourself by looking for even the slightest hint that she is. Unhinge yourself from this and put your energy into other women. You're fighting a battle that wasn't even waged.
Author:  DemonKaz [ Tue Feb 11, 2014 6:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: All right, time to solve this once and for all.
I know that is probably the best course of action. But what if I am absolutely hellbent on geting this girl? Is there anything left for me to do?

I mean, I have read that the friendzone is 70% of the work done. That with time and effort you can create atraction when there was any (and I am almost entirely sure there was atraction at first and I failed to act on it) so under the right circunstances there is still a chance. It's not over until it's over.

I do value your opinion and know that would be the rational thing to do, but I will not follow your advice just yet. "The man who says it is impossible, is usually interupted by the one who just did it"
Author:  Snarg [ Tue Feb 11, 2014 6:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: All right, time to solve this once and for all.
I'm going to say no. Any signals of her being attracted to you that you've named so far are what any friend would do. I don't see anything that shows that she is interested in a sexual or romantic way. Sorry.
Author:  DemonKaz [ Tue Feb 11, 2014 7:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: All right, time to solve this once and for all.
O.K. I admit she is probably not intersted. How do I turn it around and make her intersted? And don't tell me that's not possible. More than once I ended feeling atracted to girls I had absolutely no interest at first.
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