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Opinions on how to get the upper hand on this ..?
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Author:  TiagoFigueiredo [ Sun Dec 29, 2013 1:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Opinions on how to get the upper hand on this ..?
Good afternnoon guys, thanks for reading and happy new year.





Going straight to the point. I live in a shared house with 2 girls, and i was in the living room working and reading some stuff when one of them asked me:

HB: "Can you do me a favour?"
T: "It depends."
HB: "Would you clear the living room around 12:30...because Ray (fuckbuddy) is coming in...we re going to the cinema...
T: Sure..

She went to the bathroom and when she cameback

T: Im gonna stay in the kitchen if thats okay, alright. (we have sliding doors)
HB: Ah its gonna be better if you go upstairs (To my room, kinda in a command tone) She said this twice during the quick conversation.

As i dont take order from HBs nor let them change my life....i told her :

T: Look im gonna stay in the kitchen, are you having sex here ?
HB: No its just for 20 min..
T: Right and im doing it. ill stay in the kitchen youll have privacy cause i wont hear or see a thing, but im not going upstairs.
HB: But its better to go up....bla bla.... im just asking you a favour, dont get upset (giving me a hug gesture)
T: Just passed through her, lowered my head and said..."Forget about it.."

The more experienced here know that HBs love to test the waters with men. Dropping shit tests is uncoscious and is where im usually weaker.....


Of couse i know she was upset about it. But if i brough an HB with me to our shared house i could ask for a favour yes, but i wouldnt have the legitimicy to ask someone to leave, nor she has.

Nevertheless i dont care whats she thinks, i think (always in tests) missed a chance of making a authoritary and inteligent point.


What do you guys think about it, what could i have said that would have lead to the same outcome, but leave a better, bigger, stronger alpha mark on her, and also educated to the male ?

Is possible to get the upper hand or i have lost already ?




Opinions are welcomed



:)
Author:  MadeInQc [ Sun Dec 29, 2013 2:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Opinions on how to get the upper hand on this ..?
What exactly is the deal between the 2 of you .. have you kissed/farked or did anything sexual in the past?
Author:  BrandonMarshall [ Sun Dec 29, 2013 5:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Opinions on how to get the upper hand on this ..?
I mean you're roommates and you're supposed to work together to make each others lives easier. Sounds to me you were just being a dick by refusing to leave the kitchen... and it seemed lame that you walked out with your head down.

I don't think it's non-alpha to be a good room mate and respect your roomate's privacy for a short period of time.

Now if you brought a girl home and she didn't do the same there's a problem
Author:  TiagoFigueiredo [ Sun Dec 29, 2013 10:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Opinions on how to get the upper hand on this ..?
Just to clarify 2 things. There is no story between us, she just lives with me, so its just a social situation



She is a housemate, not roomate, and as i am a good housemate who works for making each others lifes easier, very clearly i voluntarely said i was leaving the room immediately to give her privacy, not just where she wanted to. If she wanted more full privacy, she has a room of her own aswell. For me, no one, including me has any right to ask that, im not a puppydoll.





Any other opinions on getting the upper hand here ?



:)
Author:  neo87 [ Sun Dec 29, 2013 11:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Opinions on how to get the upper hand on this ..?
Unless it was your mess, or there is some cleaning arrangement, I think her asking you to clean up for her guest was the only out of line thing here. Don't think she was out of line for asking you to go upstairs. Lived in houses with guys and girls and sometimes people just want to use the non-room areas for a while.

Stop thinking in terms of tests. Seriously. It will make you into a weird jerk and that's not attractive.

If you're looking to gain authority points with your housemates, odds are you aren't cool in your own house. Be cool, bring girls and just relax. They aren't going to fuck you because you don't leave the kitchen.
Author:  TiagoFigueiredo [ Mon Dec 30, 2013 4:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Opinions on how to get the upper hand on this ..?
She wasnt cleaning up anything, and i didnt mess anything. She was bringing a friend over, and i went into another living area. The kitchen is a separated living area from the living room.





The duality of the situation is not authority, is that i am not willing take orders for something i have doubts would be reciprocal on her side. Maybe its just the way she said "Go to your room"





I dont think theres any shit testing.....maybe a communication breakdown.




Opinions ?



:)
Author:  neo87 [ Mon Dec 30, 2013 9:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Opinions on how to get the upper hand on this ..?
I mean, technically, her asking you to clean a mess you didn't make for her guest was more pushing the boundaries than asking you to go to your room. But nothing to worry about. You accepted that so it's weird you didn't just go upstairs.

Questions:
1. What was so important about staying in the kitchen? Were you cooking? Were you just standing up in the kitchen with her dude outside in the living room? I mean if you had a legitimate reason for staying in the kitchen, such as cooking or making a sandwich, I could see her request as rude. But what was so important about staying there for 20 mins? Staying in a living room, I understand. But wanting to stay in the kitchen...

2. You say she may not have reciprocated. Has it ever happened? Have you brought a girl, asked her to go to her room and she refused?

If you live with ppl, you gotta make sacrifices sometimes. Technically, if you're paying rent you should be able to be in the kitchen, living room, at any time, but if you don't let people have those areas sometimes you're just going to make enemies in your house. Sometimes you go to your room and sometimes they do. In college one year I had this room with another guy with no divider. So when I wanted to bring a girl over, I'd ask him to leave the room for a while. Was he obligated to? No, it was half his room. But he did. Even if it was 2 in the morning, he'd take a walk while groaning and complaining. But when he wanted to bring a girl, I'd leave too. And I groaned and complained too. If he had not taken a walk the first night I asked, I would have never left for him when he asked and then what? Both of us just wouldn't be getting laid.
Author:  Versalis [ Tue Dec 31, 2013 12:42 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Opinions on how to get the upper hand on this ..?
Quote:
Unless it was your mess, or there is some cleaning arrangement, I think her asking you to clean up for her guest was the only out of line thing here. Don't think she was out of line for asking you to go upstairs. Lived in houses with guys and girls and sometimes people just want to use the non-room areas for a while.

Stop thinking in terms of tests. Seriously. It will make you into a weird jerk and that's not attractive.
This.

Also, what are you talking about tests and whatever else? She is fucking some other dude right in front of you. You are not with this girl and if you want to be, fighting over cleaning and where you are is not going to get you there. If I'm understanding you correctly, your ultimate goal is to fuck/date(whichever) this girl, yes?
Author:  osyn [ Tue Dec 31, 2013 2:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Opinions on how to get the upper hand on this ..?
A major mistake most guys make is thinking that these kinds of moves (the ones you're doing) make a good "alpha" impression on a girl. Clearly, this woman is not interested in you, and is probably getting pissed off at you and viewing you as a cockblock.

Your chances with this girl are shot to hell. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.

Don't try to argue with her or try to show off your dominance. She wasn't testing you.

As a member of the female gender, I can tell you that she probably thinks you have issues. And the fact that you are so hellbent on dominance over women ("not letting any HB tell me what to do") pretty much cements it. A girl would have probably been more impressed if you would have said "Okay, but you're the one who's gonna have to clean up his mess."

Take a step back and look at your actions/words. Ask yourself if you have any unresolved issues with women and work on those before you make any more mistakes. Otherwise, this kind of attitude will snowball and turn you into a very bitter, hateful, lonely person.
Author:  TiagoFigueiredo [ Sat Jan 04, 2014 1:49 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Opinions on how to get the upper hand on this ..?
Thanks for the opinions guys. I dont get why we are here about talking about "cleaning a mess" when there was no mess no clean, she just wanted to bring a friend over, and thats it.




Why would i wanna make a alpha point why her? I am not into this chick and she is not into me, as we are housemates and for me 95% of the situations that is a turn off and unwise thing to do from the beggining, so once again i state, this is a SOCIAL situation only.



The main reason of my decision is as it was lunchtime and i found better for me to stay in the kitchen. (as i politely asked her "are you planning to shag him here ? if so i will go to my room. If not ill be in the kitchen" I stand my position as corrrect, and to be even more clear if it was a male housemate bringing a girl i would do exactly the same, nor more nor less. People want full privacy, they have their rooms.



In resume, in she is not planning to fuck this guy, and as i am working in the living room, for the common and healthy good of housemates, i dont see why would i have to leave, as i am already showing im willing to move and sacrifice going into a separate living area, the kitchen". I still dont get o see why the person (being her) as a new arrival in our house (as me being here from a longer amount of time) coming on with special request like this is to be seem to you guys as fair. The command tone she used didnt help aswell.
"Its better if you d go to your room"



Opinions ?
Author:  neo87 [ Sat Jan 04, 2014 2:04 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Opinions on how to get the upper hand on this ..?
No slight to you but you sound uptight and too serious. As osdyn said, if you did the same to a guy or girl people would think you have issues (pissed off at something else, jealous, or secretly wanting her). If you want to look at it as "if people want full privacy they have their rooms", yes, you're 100% correct congrats but you're just going to come across bad if you take that stuff literally. You shouldnt be the guy asking her if she is going to have sex here. When you live with people, sometimes you gotta take a request that technically you don't have to.
Author:  CopernicanShift [ Sat Jan 04, 2014 2:05 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Opinions on how to get the upper hand on this ..?
If you'd like her to be willing to do it for you when you have someone coming over you should be willing to do the same.

Sounds unkind to me, your housemate was asking you a simple favour for 20 mins privacy in living room.
Unless that was a great inconvenience to you, why not?
Author:  johnnie5 [ Sat Jan 04, 2014 2:09 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Opinions on how to get the upper hand on this ..?
seriously you live together you dont want to create too many waves as when you want the favour
you dont want to beg for ti

she doesnt want you in the kitchen as she will prob have him arrive , hey do you want a drink ? yeh sure

go to your room for the 20 mins and bank that favour for when you need it
Author:  Versalis [ Sat Jan 04, 2014 2:22 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Opinions on how to get the upper hand on this ..?
Why are you referring to her as "HB" if you aren't interested in her?
Quote:
Why would i wanna make a alpha point why her?
I don't know. Possibly because you said
Quote:
The more experienced here know that HBs love to test the waters with men. Dropping shit tests is uncoscious and is where im usually weaker.....
and
Quote:
What do you guys think about it, what could i have said that would have lead to the same outcome, but leave a better, bigger, stronger alpha mark on her, and also educated to the male ?
Quote:
"are you planning to shag him here ? if so i will go to my room. If not ill be in the kitchen"
Maybe you should tell her you're intending to make food. Because the image I got, was you just standing around in the kitchen like a weird creeper. I suspect she was thinking the exact same thing.
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