PUA Forum :: I must be doing something wrong

You are indeed doing something wrong. I can't tell you exactly what since I haven't seen you in action, but if you don't feel relaxed, natural and comfortable, it will really destroy your chances.

I have never been a fan of day game (or "street game", since you can do other kinds of approaches during the day too), since the way you approach, quite directly (which is a must in such situations by the way, due to the time limit), makes it quite obvious what you want, and that makes people uncomfortable. Desperate or not, you are just too obvious. I would suggest cold approach instead, but it requires still targets and more time.

hi guys

so today I went around a college campus. did something very uncomfortable to get myself in god mode. when I felt like my fear was gone, I went and approached probably 20 girls. not on the college campus itself, but the streets around it.
every girl had the standard excuses "I have a boyfriend" "I am in a hurry" or they just walked away.

I dont know what I am doing wrong, but I can tell you when I am there, I am very tense. I feel like I don't look natural. do you think that's it?
my opening is "you look like someone I would like to talk to" or "hey, you look cute, I want to meet you"
do you think that's too desperate? someone told me you have to make it a challenge for them, this "I want to meet you" stuff is too desperate.

how can I find out what I am doing wrong? statistically speaking, out of 20 people, I should have found a connection with at least one, no?

Thanks so much. This really helps.

Tr@veler, I will try to get someone to record, although it will be really awkward for me because I will start seeing how lame I am.

Hammerofdawn, the people I am approaching are all walking towards me.

Author:	bartm [ Fri Dec 13, 2013 9:23 pm ]
Post subject:	I must be doing something wrong
hi guys so today I went around a college campus. did something very uncomfortable to get myself in god mode. when I felt like my fear was gone, I went and approached probably 20 girls. not on the college campus itself, but the streets around it. every girl had the standard excuses "I have a boyfriend" "I am in a hurry" or they just walked away. I dont know what I am doing wrong, but I can tell you when I am there, I am very tense. I feel like I don't look natural. do you think that's it? my opening is "you look like someone I would like to talk to" or "hey, you look cute, I want to meet you" do you think that's too desperate? someone told me you have to make it a challenge for them, this "I want to meet you" stuff is too desperate. how can I find out what I am doing wrong? statistically speaking, out of 20 people, I should have found a connection with at least one, no?

Author:	hugge [ Fri Dec 13, 2013 10:30 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I must be doing something wrong
You are indeed doing something wrong. I can't tell you exactly what since I haven't seen you in action, but if you don't feel relaxed, natural and comfortable, it will really destroy your chances. I have never been a fan of day game (or "street game", since you can do other kinds of approaches during the day too), since the way you approach, quite directly (which is a must in such situations by the way, due to the time limit), makes it quite obvious what you want, and that makes people uncomfortable. Desperate or not, you are just too obvious. I would suggest cold approach instead, but it requires still targets and more time.

Author:	bartm [ Fri Dec 13, 2013 11:01 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I must be doing something wrong
Quote: You are indeed doing something wrong. I can't tell you exactly what since I haven't seen you in action, but if you don't feel relaxed, natural and comfortable, it will really destroy your chances. I have never been a fan of day game (or "street game", since you can do other kinds of approaches during the day too), since the way you approach, quite directly (which is a must in such situations by the way, due to the time limit), makes it quite obvious what you want, and that makes people uncomfortable. Desperate or not, you are just too obvious. I would suggest cold approach instead, but it requires still targets and more time. But I thought you want to make it obvious what you want....you don't want to hide your feelings and talk about something stupid like the weather? I thought one of the most important aspects of pick up is to be direct and tell them immediately what you want. What is "cold approach"? I thought "cold" approach simply means you approach someone you don't know?

Author:	Tr@veler [ Fri Dec 13, 2013 11:37 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I must be doing something wrong
Hi there. The most important aspect? There is no most important they are all important. Now look, a couple of things here. Telling them you like them directly isn't important. It's being congruent. Why are you walking up to her? This is your intention. To make this a little clearer see it like this: Guy walks up to a girl and opens with "Hey do you know where the college campus is around here?" Girl: "Yeah it's just over there. Guy: OK thanks. Is it far? Girl: Not really like 2 mins walk from here. Guy: Cool. So it's over there yeah? Girl: Yeah. Guy: OK thanks. Walks off. Oh no it all went wrong. Nope. Picture this: Guy: Hey do you know where the college campus is around here? Girl: Yeah it's just over there. Guy: Awesome. You go to this campus? Girl: No I actually graduated last year. Guy: Haha I can tell, you have that "I gotta earn a living and pay rent" face. Girl: Haha. Guy: What's your name btw? Now what's the difference? On a technical aspect you might say the first one didn't know where to take the conversation, didn't have the skill to be playful, etc. This is WRONG. It's not that he didn't have the skill, but he didn't have the WILL, the COURAGE to be playful. To get turned down. The second guy risked the girl not laughing at the joke, but he still went for it, congruently. then he had the fucking courage to ask her name! Why? Because his intention wasn't to get to the campus (maybe it was in the beginning), his intention was to get to know the girl. He went for it anyway, even though he could've gotten blown off. He wasn't telling her he liked her, he SHOWED her he liked her by doing the things he wanted to do, which was to get to know her. If you want to get to know someone you are showing them interest, rather than telling them you're interested. You need to go for the moves. This is another reason why guys are considered "creepy" in the bar. If you are not 100% committed to showing interest you will be a creep, a loser. If you go to get to know the girl, then be 100% committed to getting to know her. Now it may be difficult on college campus, but I wouldn't go direct there, since you might see them again. Unless you are that type of person by nature and really just don't give a fuck, go indirect and start a conversation, get to know her, fully go with your intentions, risk loss, risk rejection, risk looking like a creep. And do it A LOT. I personally don't game on campus, but that might change soon. Can you record yourself in some way? That would help a lot.

Author:	Hammerofdawn [ Sat Dec 14, 2013 12:03 am ]
Post subject:	Re: I must be doing something wrong
Quote: hi guys so today I went around a college campus. did something very uncomfortable to get myself in god mode. when I felt like my fear was gone, I went and approached probably 20 girls. not on the college campus itself, but the streets around it. every girl had the standard excuses "I have a boyfriend" "I am in a hurry" or they just walked away. I dont know what I am doing wrong, but I can tell you when I am there, I am very tense. I feel like I don't look natural. do you think that's it? my opening is "you look like someone I would like to talk to" or "hey, you look cute, I want to meet you" do you think that's too desperate? someone told me you have to make it a challenge for them, this "I want to meet you" stuff is too desperate. how can I find out what I am doing wrong? statistically speaking, out of 20 people, I should have found a connection with at least one, no? I have a question I need to ask so I can try give some relevant advice: What kind of target are you approaching - Are they walking towards/away from you, standing still or sitting down? The way you are trying to engage in conversation is fairly important. I wasn't into PUA when I went to school/college, so I'll take on the street approach. Your opener does need to be fairly direct but tone it down a little. If you wanted to approach them in the first place, what did you notice about them? Women love to talk about themselves - Try pick up on something they are wearing and open them about that - It will come across more genuine, if you're actually interested in what she might tell you about it you will seem more congruent. something like: Me: "Hey, I just noticed and I had to tell you that your ...(dress)... looks amazing" brief pause (see if she replies) HB: Aw - Thank you Me: Yeah, its a really great look for you - where did you get it? HB: I got it from (store name) This will get your foot in the door but you'll need to transition onto another topic, if she was dressed like she was heading somewhere fancy, ask her where she was heading or you could cut to it and use one of your own lines above.

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Author:	bartm [ Sat Dec 14, 2013 12:10 am ]
Post subject:	Re: I must be doing something wrong
Thanks so much. This really helps. Tr@veler, I will try to get someone to record, although it will be really awkward for me because I will start seeing how lame I am. Hammerofdawn, the people I am approaching are all walking towards me.

Author:	Hammerofdawn [ Sat Dec 14, 2013 1:41 am ]
Post subject:	Re: I must be doing something wrong
Quote: Thanks so much. This really helps. Tr@veler, I will try to get someone to record, although it will be really awkward for me because I will start seeing how lame I am. Hammerofdawn, the people I am approaching are all walking towards me. What you need to do in that case is to use a YAD stop - YAD is just the name of the guy who uses it. The best way to illustrate this kind of stop would be to watch this YouTube video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5IcrEE9l44 1. Try catch her eye, smile - If she notices you and smiles back great stuff! If not, its not a big deal. 2. Let her pass, you don't want to approach her head on, don't even approach her side on, these are the kinds of approaches on the street a person would do if they wanted you to take a survey/sell you something you probably know the type - you'd also probably want to avoid them. There is another type of approach which as they are walking towards you and do some kind of policeman's stop and you put your hand out with that gesture, but I've never tried it so I don't recommend it.

Author:	oceanx [ Sun Dec 15, 2013 1:11 am ]
Post subject:	Re: I must be doing something wrong
Traveler nailed it 100% in the post above. Your initial question to the girl and followup question or banter with her serves to SCREEN the girl to find out if she is someone you have chemistry with or not. Why do the male/logical "Hello my name is X what is your name, i really think you are so cute" thing when there is the smooth situational method as laid out by Traveler available to you. Sure, tell her she's cute/fun/etc. - but why do it from the start. The attitude to possess is, "I'm giving this girl a shot to see if she's playful and cool."

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