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| Having the talk. invested vs not invested https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=172706 |
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| Author: | tradie812 [ Sun Dec 08, 2013 8:33 am ] |
| Post subject: | Having the talk. invested vs not invested |
Ive been dating a HB9 for about 2 months. Things are stable, we've slept together twice. We both initiate texting and call to meet up etc. i have a few issues though. She has mental issues that she has to be in bed by 9pm every work night, which effects the amount of time i see her. I have only ever seen her on weekends. Mid week contact is hardly existent and toward the end of the week that would be when the text or call start for the weekend meet-up. Im over texting or calling her because i feel like Im the one mostly initiating contact up until last week. I just want to feel less invested and i want her to be more invested. I want to know how she feels about us and leading into the future. Im good to take it slow i just want to know how she feels at this stage. Also tell her that this once a week meet ups have been great until now but if we are getting more serious it has to include something small mid week surely. Is it wrong to have this conversation with her? Should i call her and tell her we need to talk or can this sort of shit be done on the phone. I dont want to commit i just dont want my time to be waisted if all she wants is nothing more. Im too invested. help guys. cheers |
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| Author: | Darth Dragoon [ Sun Dec 08, 2013 9:02 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Having the talk. invested vs not invested |
Hey brother, first of all the sentence "we need to talk" is a absolute NO-GO, what you want to say is "can you help me with something" (same meaning, totally different tone) Where's the tension? Where's the fire? Obviously not there. If it was you wouldn't say I'm unsure what she feels. By the way DON'T ask her how she feels about you, if she wanted you to know, she would have communicated that to you somehow, chances are high she isn't really all over you at the moment. From the looks of it, I'd say you have invested too much too early. Work on building up tension. Do something out of your way to impress her and make her have a time of her live, watch some PUA videos about seduction for giving her that special feeling for example. And bro, stop being needy aka calling initiating too often, it turns her off. A little more distance might work wonders. She wants to go to sleep on 9 PM at workdays? So what it helps her keep stable and focus, nothing wrong with that at all. You want to have her in your bed every night instead for a cuddle or sex? Make her feel special. You want her to invest more, then why are you throwing everything at her at a budget price? |
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| Author: | tradie812 [ Sun Dec 08, 2013 9:23 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Having the talk. invested vs not invested |
mate thanks for your post. it opened my eye to a few things. I'm never emotionally invested so this feeling is new to me. It makes you over think shit! She does show investment. She grabs my hands, goes to kiss me, we have had sex, she doesn't shut up about her life haha she trusts me. One thing i will do less is text or call! One thing i haven't done is make her feel special enough. How can i do this without being to forward. Isn't that making her aware of more emotional investment. |
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| Author: | Darth Dragoon [ Sun Dec 08, 2013 10:12 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Having the talk. invested vs not invested |
It's hard to give advice on that, as I don't know you, I don't know the girl, the circumstances, the things the both of you like, your ages etc. I'll try to draw you a picture, but don't take this as a guideline you know way better than me what to do trust me! Making her feel special isn't so much about you investing more emotionally as you already have. Think, she isn't blind her subconscious probably has quiet a good picture of your emotional state. You throw around so much signs while being with her you'd never dream of it, even when playing it cool. (I'm pretty into the subconscious body-language stuff at the moment and good at reading, it's frightening to see how open everyone everyday actually is, trust me) Which is why she isn't in your bed every night already, too much emotional pressure, will this work out, do I really want to, I'm just not feeling it at the moment... sounds familiar doesn't it? And that's the point she isn't feeling IT. I'd suggest a seductive approach to break the barriers here, don't just kiss make it something special, for example maybe you're used to kiss casually now that you are dating 2 months already. Next time depending on the type she is (shy, secretly wants to be bad, slutty etc.) either surprise her by suddenly pushing her against a wall mid conversation when no ones around and wildly kiss her or (the opposite) glance at her eyes for 3 seconds, don't kiss her, move in close to her gently stroke your cheek against hers, stroke her hair a little bit, come back close don't kiss, glance again, bite your lips a bit, then touch her cheek gently with your hand tilt her head a little bit and gently kiss her... I think you get the point by now don't you? It's not about doing special things that show attachment, it's about making the usual special :3 Same goes for the evening out, hitting the club? Why not start with a nice meal, then go out dance a bit, then go for a late night walk by the river, you know ROMANCE/MAKING LOVE -> Not getting laid. That stuff which PU doesn't really teach you :3 Does it make you look invested too much? Not if you can keep your mindset to -> this is me having fun the way I want it and if she doesn't like it then I'll find someone else that does, because hey that's what I WANT, I wont settle for less! And as I said this is just a suggestion, to help you make up your own mind on what you want and what you are willing to do to achieve it. |
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| Author: | tradie812 [ Sun Dec 08, 2013 10:56 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Having the talk. invested vs not invested |
thanks mate. i have slept with her the last two occasions we have dated! but your advice is very good. thank you again We tend to forget about ourselves from time to time. We should remember to ask the question, 'what will i enjoy doing'? 'What will make me feel good and at my best as a person?' Emotions tend to get the better of us at times and in saying that it can blind us from what is truly important. Being committed rather than being emotional attached is the way to go. I am hittin the town and getting a hotel room this weekend with her. Ive always wanted to do it! cheeers guys |
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| Author: | Darth Dragoon [ Sun Dec 08, 2013 11:46 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Having the talk. invested vs not invested |
You're welcome bro, best of luck to you. |
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