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She flirts with other guys...
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Author:  Pinkfloyd123 [ Mon Nov 11, 2013 3:51 pm ]
Post subject:  She flirts with other guys...
My mind hasn't been able to think straight in days, I've been so confused, hurt and frustrated. I've literally been wanting to tell this girl, "I don't want to see you anymore" or "I'm in love with you."
I am in love with her, very much. But I've never told it to her yet, and she may feel the same way about me. However, she flirts with other guys. I picked her up yesterday, with a fun vibe, couldn't wait to see her had so many plans -- we got in the car and she started txting her co-worker in front of me. Idk where they went together, she probably held back details from me, but its possible that he likes her. Since she txt'ed him the whole time she was in job training...

As soon as she did that my mind went blank and not only was I hurt but I was upset too. I didn't talk much to her for a bit saying I was focusing on directions. I was jelous. she said "you seem distant, is this about my co-worker?.." i said, "No, im just focusing on driving." I also tokd her i wasnt the jelous type. I kind of feel like she's digging her own grave, she wants me and wants to be with me yet she flirts with other guys. What would happen if we were in a serious relationship? These guys would just be temptation for her...

Mentally, I feel like I can't compare with these guys, their tall (I'm 5'6 with shoes), muscular and probably hv bigger penis's. On the good side, we hv a great connection and she's fascinated with me, calls me baby, things like that. We makeout a lot, and etc...

Idk what to guys.
Author:  BITmixit [ Mon Nov 11, 2013 4:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She flirts with other guys...
This is an easy one mate, you've already stated that she seems proper into you.

She texts another guy in front of you and asks if you have a problem with it = she wanted you to have a problem with it as she wants you to get jealous. Don't!!! it will drive her insane because other guys are jealous about you...why aren't you about them?

To ensure you keep the girl it all very simple as soon as you decide you're in a relationship with each other, when you get her to bed. Fuck her senseless. Lick her out till she's screaming. Just don't stop till she's 100% satisfied.

Also don't be scared to be mean to her, cheekily mean but mean nonetheless. Most guys who are texting her will be overly nice = turn off.
Author:  TheFury [ Mon Nov 11, 2013 4:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She flirts with other guys...
You do not love her if you have not even slept with her yet which seems like the case. In terms of other guys, you have to act UNFAZED. That means don't ask about it, even if you think you are doing it in a cool/calm way. Just ignore it.
Author:  Pinkfloyd123 [ Mon Nov 11, 2013 10:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She flirts with other guys...
I sorta' did confront her on it in an indirect way, I gave her a bit of a speach, saying if I fall for you I just want to make sure you'd catch me, visa versa... But I didn't flat out say, "Don't txt other guys!". I told her I'm not the jelous type, she said. "I know it sucks lol". So your right, she was trying to do that - she likes attention, and also has low self-esteem and is self-conscious.

I've never came across this but I sorta figured I had to do what Fury already said, act unfazed. But just because I act like it don't bother me, doesn't mean she should do it... Is that normal for only having known a girl for a month or so. I've never had relationships in my game. Do I think you hv to have sex to be in love? I wouldn't say so, but I do love her. Yet at the same time, I'm upset.

Keep in mind my inner game is bad, I'm self-conscious and have low self-esteem and feel I can't compare to these other guys. I feel like I'm nothing, maybe you guys can relate it once felt like this. I hv no job or car and hv no accomplishments and I don't feel like a man or masculine at all.
Author:  Jay (Majik) [ Tue Nov 12, 2013 8:24 am ]
Post subject:  Re: She flirts with other guys...
Dude... this whole situation sounds really pathetic. Seriously... take a step back and re read what you posted.

I know that's probably not the answer you WANT to hear.... But it's what you NEED to hear. Get it together man.
Author:  ballplayer15 [ Thu Nov 14, 2013 2:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She flirts with other guys...
Pinkfloyd123,

what you will have to do...is to let her flirt with other guys. at the same time you should be meeting other women as well. it is more fair to you in this way. one more thing, do you mind telling me where you are from? just out of curiosity. hope it helps!

ballplayer
Author:  neo87 [ Thu Nov 14, 2013 2:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She flirts with other guys...
As Magick said...this is pathetic. You love her after a MONTH, she's not even your gf and you haven't had sex. And she has so little respect for you that she texts another guy in front of you. Move on, date other women.
Author:  Xoved [ Thu Nov 14, 2013 4:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She flirts with other guys...
Some people just never place themselves in another man's shoe.

I know what you're struggling through. I already told you I've been in this situation and, with all honesty, I still am.
You want her, and you know she likes you. She flirts a lot and guys are over her, some are perfect, others are pathetic. You stand there next to her while talking to guys and you just want to be her center of attention, you want her to be next to you at all times so all the other guys know you have her. When you are alone with her, things get intimate and she starts telling you everything. I can keep going for ages.

Do not ever come out with your emotions. I did, and I lost her, I got her back now and she's keeping things at the friendzone level but I need to work more on my current situation until I get my own apartment soon and see what happens. I'm telling you, keep it fun and I know you do not want to hear this because you've already heard it a million times and you'll keep hearing it, but it's the best way for you both to decide. Get her to sleep with you, just once and then you'll notice how things will improve tenfold.

You have to use passion, from kissing, to making out, to touch from the outside and escalate slowly. Don't force things, soon enough you'll be there. Just know that sex is what makes the great connection between you both stronger.
Author:  AFCToTheMax [ Thu Nov 14, 2013 4:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She flirts with other guys...
First of all. Have you had sex with her ? If not and you are in love with her then there is problem that you need to sort out with yourself because that's crazy needy.

Second. If she texts other guys while she is with you she is not trying to make you jealous. She is just being fucking disrespectful. I would tell her that when she is with me she doesn't do it otherwise I'll through her fucking phone out the window. (In fact I did this with my gf because I was annoyed and it worked to great extent).

Third. If something bothers you. You don't pretend to be cool. You are doing yourself a disservice build up frustration in you and you'll blow up. And you get dumped. If something bothers you tell her it bothers you. Don't be a pussy about it be firm calm. A lot of guys here don't do this because they think "oh I'm not alpha and I have to PRETEND that I'm a cool guys otherwise she dumps me" which means I NEED her whatever the cost. If a girl flirts with other guys while she is with you do you really want a girl like that ? You can do a lot better. You can find a cute girl who will be all over you every time she sees you. Man Get your shit together and act like a man not like a pussy.
Author:  CharlesFinley [ Thu Nov 14, 2013 4:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She flirts with other guys...
Quote:
I sorta' did confront her on it in an indirect way, I gave her a bit of a speach, saying if I fall for you I just want to make sure you'd catch me, visa versa...
This is awful. Like douche-chillingly awful.

My opinion is the same as Majikal.
Author:  Hunter_Foxe [ Thu Nov 14, 2013 5:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She flirts with other guys...
There was another post on Sticking Points recently called "Fear of her having better options than me" or something.

This was my reply (ignore the first point about Facebook, doesn't apply to your situation).
Quote:
Firstly, stop looking girls up on Facebook. It's creepy as hell. If you ask for her number and she offers you Facebook, always refuse because this is a classic sign of an early LJBF or just a time-wasting friend-collector who wants to check how popular you are. If you gamed her correctly, SHE will be begging for YOUR number. Don't waste time with Facebook girls.

Secondly, accept the fact that every girl you sleep with has had bigger dicks, richer guys, more muscular guys, funnier guys, more talented guys than you before. She's bored of them now. What matters is here and now.

Thirdly, you need to discover what you want in life outside of pickup. You should have goals of what you want to achieve in life. If your only goal is to get a girlfriend, you will fail pretty quickly, because achieving your only goal of getting a girl will make you lose drive and ambition. You may get a girl, but then what? You need a plan in life.

Stop comparing yourself to other guys. I like to pretend that every guy in the room is richer, more popular, more muscular and has a bigger dick than me, even though it's not true. It's just a mindset which helps you to stop caring and stop giving a fuck about what other chodes are doing. As soon as you let on to the girl that other guys bother you, you look instantly beta and it makes the guy who bothers you look more alpha and powerful. Concentrate on what you're good at and stop caring.
Author:  Pinkfloyd123 [ Thu Nov 14, 2013 10:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She flirts with other guys...
Quote:
There was another post on Sticking Points recently called "Fear of her having better options than me" or something.

This was my reply (ignore the first point about Facebook, doesn't apply to your situation).
Quote:
Firstly, stop looking girls up on Facebook. It's creepy as hell. If you ask for her number and she offers you Facebook, always refuse because this is a classic sign of an early LJBF or just a time-wasting friend-collector who wants to check how popular you are. If you gamed her correctly, SHE will be begging for YOUR number. Don't waste time with Facebook girls.

Secondly, accept the fact that every girl you sleep with has had bigger dicks, richer guys, more muscular guys, funnier guys, more talented guys than you before. She's bored of them now. What matters is here and now.

Thirdly, you need to discover what you want in life outside of pickup. You should have goals of what you want to achieve in life. If your only goal is to get a girlfriend, you will fail pretty quickly, because achieving your only goal of getting a girl will make you lose drive and ambition. You may get a girl, but then what? You need a plan in life.

Stop comparing yourself to other guys. I like to pretend that every guy in the room is richer, more popular, more muscular and has a bigger dick than me, even though it's not true. It's just a mindset which helps you to stop caring and stop giving a fuck about what other chodes are doing. As soon as you let on to the girl that other guys bother you, you look instantly beta and it makes the guy who bothers you look more alpha and powerful. Concentrate on what you're good at and stop caring.
Hunter and Xoved, thank you guys so much for your response, I appreciate that you guys are so understanding. Your responses were very helpful. Allow me to clear up the smoke...

I don't really know who to trust, most of you guys said, to just be unfazed by it (which sounds right) yet, AFCtotheMax, said to confront it and be upset. I've never been with a girl this far down the road so idk what acceptable and what's not, honestly. I'm seeing her this Sat, thinking àbout telling her to be my Gf and that I'm in love with her, but part of me thinks she may not be right for me because of her actions and me not being able to trust her... But once were official all that may stop. If it continues, I bounce. I'm more confused now than when I started this post

*I met her mid September, it's been 2 and a half months. So you can say it's been a while?
...we haven't slept yet, we make out, and I've stimulated her.. To say the least lol. We came close, I was in a hotel with her, she had her pants off, but was acting all tired and drained saying she had a headache, and I also wasnt able to get erect.. Eventually she seen how late it got and had to go home to her family, and I just looked at her like, "Really?" She jokingly said, "Sucks to be left hanging" in a playful way...

IMPORTANT: I'm seeing her this Saturday, and would like to approach seeing her with a new view and all of these questions resolved with a CONFIDENT mindset and maybe things may change with us going further..
Author:  Pinkfloyd123 [ Thu Nov 14, 2013 10:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She flirts with other guys...
Please get back to me as soon you can.
Author:  oceanx [ Fri Nov 15, 2013 3:12 am ]
Post subject:  Re: She flirts with other guys...
Re: She flirts with other guys...

And you should be flirting with other girls.

As she isn't your gf one of the best ways to get her into you is for her to find out that you have other options. When you have other options, you see this one girl in the context that she is and you do not put her on a pedestal which no girl could ever live up to. You are doing her a dis-service by putting so much stock into her. Don't tell her you love her before you have had sex with her.

Approach a bunch of girls on Friday with the intent of getting their #. It will give you a whole other worldview, and a confidence that this girl will immediately sense. If nothing else, when u meet up with her, IMAGINE that u just got done having sex with some hot other girl. It will create a sense of her wanting to chase you which most girls love. Do this within the context of being yourself or she will think u are putting on an act.

Remember you are posting in a PUA forum not generally a LTR forum so keep that in mind when reading the responses including this one.
Author:  goundy [ Fri Nov 15, 2013 3:49 am ]
Post subject:  Re: She flirts with other guys...
Is she your girlfriend bro?

Like girlfriend girlfriend.

If not - abundance bro. Get another and don't get hung up on her. If you do, you definatley won't be able to keep her. I have a friend in the exact same situation right now and he claws onto her every movement and as such hes going to lose her.

If she is your girlfriend, she doesn't seem very un-empathetic from what you wrote. How would you define flirting anyway?

Some good stuff suggested by other people is flirt with others which can actually a pretty solid thing to do in a relationship. You might be different to me but I was in a 1.5 year relationship and the emotional affects of living in scarcity (monogamy) change your in horrendous ways. Monogamy is scarcity at its core and you inherently going to become more needy and desperate for attention. You feel swallowed up and your eco system for positive emotions is very reliant on how she behaves. Real men shouldn't be put in this position.

I'm not suggesting you break up with her right now jsut because of what I said but consider what I said if anything happens between you two and weather you want to continue having a monogamous lifestyle. These problems are non existant when your single and having sex with lots of different chicks.

Anyway I hope you find peace of mind friend.

-goundy
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