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Went wrong somewhere but don't know where
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Author:  vipp3r [ Fri Nov 01, 2013 3:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Went wrong somewhere but don't know where
I've known this girl for a few years now and and been really good friends with her. I know she liked me because when she was going out with her bf she said she did. We did make out a few times when she was going out, but I know she felt bad about it (this is like a year ago). Recently we started seeing each other more and would hookup more often and what not. She wanted to have sex, but I did not want to and she knew I didn't want to before saying it. After we have been hooking up more, I feel like she is just losing interest or playing hard to get. I would try to make plans to chill with her, but she often comes up with an excuse. It kind of pissed me off so when she asked me to hang out I said I was busy with something else. A few days later we made plans to chill last night so we could watch a movie and she was going to sleep over, but at night she gave an excuse about her roomies being with her so she couldn't and that she wanted to go to bed soon. Pretty much the same excuse she has been using for a while now.
I'm not really sure where I went wrong, but things haven't been the same between us. Txting wise, she would usually reply within an hour of any txt, even if I were to reply to hers hours after or even a day after. Now she will always take a few hours even the whole day to respond back. She does however respond to my txts from the previous night really early in the am when she wakes up.

In our most recent txt exchanges I had something of hers so I said:
Me: If you want it you have to come get it :p
Her: Haha I don't need it right now
Me: I never said to come right now (sent it pretty early at night)
Her: Okay goood :) (she sent that early in the am)

I'm not really sure on how to handle this as I have never quite been in this situation before. Any tips?
I was thinking I can just leave it at that and ignore her for a few days and see where it goes or I will talk to her and try to straighten out w.e is going on between us. Thanks
Author:  Crypto [ Fri Nov 01, 2013 3:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Went wrong somewhere but don't know where
I think this one is a lost cause. At some point you didn't escalate sexually/emotionally to meet her expectations. It is kinda hard to determine from your post if you've actually had sex with her or not. If you have then I think she probably wanted more and you did not take it to a relationship, but if not, then she thinks your a little wuss who doesn't like girls (i.e. her)!


Peace...
Author:  Xoved [ Sat Nov 02, 2013 12:28 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Went wrong somewhere but don't know where
You turned the sex request down, she's disappointed in you. You turned her down.

Cool for about a week and re-initiate with a date and fuck her.
Author:  GamesSN [ Sat Nov 02, 2013 12:39 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Went wrong somewhere but don't know where
You didn't turn her frown upside down.. and by that I mean turn her on her back and dick fuck her mouth.

Shit man, chick wants sex and you shy away from it? Dude, that's your problem. You have to fuck her. Freezing her out is counter productive at this point as you've basically turned her down completely. You've strung her along, she gave you a chance and did all the cuddling/hanging out shit but you still didn't let her ride on your love pump.

Just get her over or invite her out on a date and escalate quickly. Make sure alcohol is involved too.
Author:  Crypto [ Tue Nov 05, 2013 12:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Went wrong somewhere but don't know where
Quote:
Make sure alcohol is involved too.
Pretty decent advice, until this ^

Fu@k her like a Caveman so she will come back craving more and more!

Peace...
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Tue Nov 05, 2013 8:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Went wrong somewhere but don't know where
Quote:
I've known this girl for a few years now and and been really good friends with her. I know she liked me because when she was going out with her bf she said she did. We did make out a few times when she was going out, but I know she felt bad about it (this is like a year ago). Recently we started seeing each other more and would hookup more often and what not. She wanted to have sex, but I did not want to and she knew I didn't want to before saying it. After we have been hooking up more, I feel like she is just losing interest or playing hard to get. I would try to make plans to chill with her, but she often comes up with an excuse. It kind of pissed me off so when she asked me to hang out I said I was busy with something else. A few days later we made plans to chill last night so we could watch a movie and she was going to sleep over, but at night she gave an excuse about her roomies being with her so she couldn't and that she wanted to go to bed soon. Pretty much the same excuse she has been using for a while now.
I'm not really sure where I went wrong, but things haven't been the same between us. Txting wise, she would usually reply within an hour of any txt, even if I were to reply to hers hours after or even a day after. Now she will always take a few hours even the whole day to respond back. She does however respond to my txts from the previous night really early in the am when she wakes up.

In our most recent txt exchanges I had something of hers so I said:
Me: If you want it you have to come get it :p
Her: Haha I don't need it right now
Me: I never said to come right now (sent it pretty early at night)
Her: Okay goood :) (she sent that early in the am)

I'm not really sure on how to handle this as I have never quite been in this situation before. Any tips?
I was thinking I can just leave it at that and ignore her for a few days and see where it goes or I will talk to her and try to straighten out w.e is going on between us. Thanks

Sounds like she lost interest after you didn't want to bang her.. And now that she's slipping away you're trying to force some sort of sexuality. Its not coming across a real, and its a bit of a turn off.

Why didn't you sleep with her? Be honest.
Author:  TheFury [ Tue Nov 05, 2013 9:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Went wrong somewhere but don't know where
She threw you a 50 yard pass, you caught it 5 yards from the endzone with no defenders in sight and instead of running it in for a touchdown, you took a knee. If you were her, would you throw the ball to you again? Next time, don't turn her down when she wants sex.
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Wed Nov 06, 2013 12:45 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Went wrong somewhere but don't know where
Quote:
She threw you a 50 yard pass, you caught it 5 yards from the endzone with no defenders in sight and instead of running it in for a touchdown, you took a knee. If you were her, would you throw the ball to you again? Next time, don't turn her down when she wants sex.
Perfect analogy, but I disagree with the concluding statement. There's nothing wrong with turning down sex when a woman offers, the only thing that matter is the "why". Now if you turned down sex because you're afraid you won't perform well, you can forget it. If you turn down sex because you don't think she deserves your dick yet; she'll keep trying to get it. It's the energy you give off, the vibe, not the direct action.
Author:  n2thevoid [ Wed Nov 06, 2013 8:16 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Went wrong somewhere but don't know where
She's a cool customer who knows when her victim is hooked. You can't play the player she knows your game and your lame Attempt to entice her.
Author:  TheFury [ Wed Nov 06, 2013 10:57 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Went wrong somewhere but don't know where
Quote:
Quote:
She threw you a 50 yard pass, you caught it 5 yards from the endzone with no defenders in sight and instead of running it in for a touchdown, you took a knee. If you were her, would you throw the ball to you again? Next time, don't turn her down when she wants sex.
Perfect analogy, but I disagree with the concluding statement. There's nothing wrong with turning down sex when a woman offers, the only thing that matter is the "why". Now if you turned down sex because you're afraid you won't perform well, you can forget it. If you turn down sex because you don't think she deserves your dick yet; she'll keep trying to get it. It's the energy you give off, the vibe, not the direct action.
fair point, but I don't think most guys are at the level where they can give that (I'm turning you down because you haven't earned it yet) vibe.
Author:  Crypto [ Wed Nov 06, 2013 1:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Went wrong somewhere but don't know where
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
She threw you a 50 yard pass, you caught it 5 yards from the endzone with no defenders in sight and instead of running it in for a touchdown, you took a knee. If you were her, would you throw the ball to you again? Next time, don't turn her down when she wants sex.
Perfect analogy, but I disagree with the concluding statement. There's nothing wrong with turning down sex when a woman offers, the only thing that matter is the "why". Now if you turned down sex because you're afraid you won't perform well, you can forget it. If you turn down sex because you don't think she deserves your dick yet; she'll keep trying to get it. It's the energy you give off, the vibe, not the direct action.
fair point, but I don't think most guys are at the level where they can give that (I'm turning you down because you haven't earned it yet) vibe.

I agree with both of you (Fury/Joey) to an extent. If you turn a girl down, she has to internalize it and try to understand the "Why". If her mind convinces her that "She has to earn it" then she will handle it differently than if it convinces her that "He took a knee". I expect that if we lined up 100 girls and presented both situations to them, the results would be about 50/50 as to which approach worked. I feel I can safely say that the number of girls who would allow a second chance would be about even as well. Very good discussion topic IMO.


Peace...
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