PUA Forum :: I didn't expect this, did I lose value?

This happened to me one time, too bad I was not experienced enough for answers and I showed my emotional side and got rejected. What I've learned is that you have to leave that talk to her. If she asks you "how do you feel about me?", a short reply like "the same way you feel about me" and a kiss would do great in my opinion. Anything beyond that would show her that you are being needy. At least that's what I've learned.

PS: Try to escalate more the next time you see her.

I think you are on the wrong track here. You are not honest with her. You are trying to use her, which is mean. That is not good game.

She likes you and want you to be her BF. It is definitely NOT needy to tell her that you want her as your GF, as long as it is honest and you can accept a no. Neediness is when you have a desire and *expect* people to give you what you want. If you don't expect anything from them, you can have as many desires as you like without being needy.

Quote:

Here's the crux of my issue: You know how a girl will think about you and say, "I wonder if he likes me? I wonder if he thinks of me?" Etc. What I did was answer all those questions n I feel I lost her curiousity, and that I'm giving myself away thus making me not interesting<< this is a better explanation of my issue. Please comment on

Quote:

Xoved, the "Act it" part about being her bf was really helpful. And most likely I'll explain "last time we talked you caught me a bit off guard, I thought about what you said and I feel the same way you feel about me."

Also if someone can address the quote I hv above I'd appreciate it.

Author:	Pinkfloyd123 [ Sun Oct 06, 2013 11:08 pm ]
Post subject:	I didn't expect this, did I lose value?
So look guys, in this post I'm going to ask a lot of specific questions because I'm very meticulous about game, which is why I'm getting so good, so fast. I love learning from you guys as well as teaching you guys what I learned! So let me explain: I met this girl and we been on 3-4 dates so far. I was in her area yesterday so I told her I can't stay long but I can swing by (I was unpredictable, girls love that) I picked her up and we went to a park at night and we ALWAYS hold hands and Kiss we're very affectionate. Here's the tricky part. She started telling me that every time she thinks of me or see's me, shes happy, it's like a light she has in her and it gets brighter and brighter. I returned what she said, (which is what she was waiting for) I said I always smile when I think of you and I'm not really a happy person but I'm happy around you. I meant that. Although next time I'll say she's not the ultimate cause for my happiness. I than said (jokingly) "Are you trying to ask me to be your boyfriend." She than said, well it can be when your ready. Maybe she was trying to feel me out first she obviously had a hidden agenda. She thinks she wants to wait until our 11th Date and see if we still feel this way than we'll be bf n Gf. Cause I told her girls fall for a guy around the 11th date -- it's psychology. She than asked me, what I thought of her. And I was completely caught off guard and this was like advanced stuff I wasn't ready for. My task was to explain how I feel about her and tell her I like her but yet not give all my cards away. And be needy. And it seems that when you ask a girl to be your Gf you are being needy. I'm sure you guys understand. I said, "I think about you more than I should, I care about you more than it's any if my business and I'd love to be your boyfriend." We both agreed that our relationship has promise but that we should wait and see how things go. She wanted closure that she wouldn't lose me, (i said a lot of the wrong things, like if im in a relationship with you i want it too last) I feel that as much as she likes me I came across as needy wanting to be her boyfriend and just returning the nice things she said about me and saying them to her. I'm still confused over the issue and don't know if I fully explained it properly. So how do you keep your value but still let the girl know you want to be with her.

Author:	Xoved [ Sun Oct 06, 2013 11:13 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I didn't expect this, did I lose value?
This happened to me one time, too bad I was not experienced enough for answers and I showed my emotional side and got rejected. What I've learned is that you have to leave that talk to her. If she asks you "how do you feel about me?", a short reply like "the same way you feel about me" and a kiss would do great in my opinion. Anything beyond that would show her that you are being needy. At least that's what I've learned. PS: Try to escalate more the next time you see her.

Author:	Pinkfloyd123 [ Sun Oct 06, 2013 11:26 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I didn't expect this, did I lose value?
Quote: This happened to me one time, too bad I was not experienced enough for answers and I showed my emotional side and got rejected. What I've learned is that you have to leave that talk to her. If she asks you "how do you feel about me?", a short reply like "the same way you feel about me" and a kiss would do great in my opinion. Anything beyond that would show her that you are being needy. At least that's what I've learned. PS: Try to escalate more the next time you see her. Xoved, I'm so glad you understood my situation it really helped me. It was so smart! I understand that it's a mutually a good thing to say, so you don't loose value, but it's not really as poetic or meaningful as a girl would like to hear. Maybe I can briefly say what she means to me then use your line. I also started (to what she says) "buttering her up" by jokingly showing her off to my brother saying how smart she saying she's my girl and etc. which seemed like a DLV since she replied with "For now" Here's the crux of my issue: You know how a girl will think about you and say, "I wonder if he likes me? I wonder if he thinks of me?" Etc. What I did was answer all those questions n I feel I lost her curiousity, and that I'm giving myself away thus making me not interesting<< this is a better explanation of my issue. Please comment on that. Note: A second issue would be, next time I see her I can say she caught me a bit by surprise and say what you told me, should I also say I'm ready for a relationship whenever she is? Or say I like her when I feel it the most

Author:	Xoved [ Sun Oct 06, 2013 11:44 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I didn't expect this, did I lose value?
You seriously remind me of myself. I'm the type of guy who can't poetically express his self. I couldn't keep up with talk when I sat down with girls I liked. I could joke around, make funny statements, escalate perfectly, but always tend to fail in this "I like you" talk because it always ends up with me being a needy type. Don't worry about the "For now" response, it's basically because you're not official right now and she doesn't want to disappoint you later on if things didn't work out. Personally, what I've learned is to never bring the relationship talk. I know this sounds big to you, but sexual interaction is the answer, especially sex. The more the sex, the more attachment, the more the love. That's only if you are planning on going in a relationship with her. She'll open up the topic when she's completely sure about you.

Author:	hugge [ Mon Oct 07, 2013 6:56 am ]
Post subject:	Re: I didn't expect this, did I lose value?
I think you are on the wrong track here. You are not honest with her. You are trying to use her, which is mean. That is not good game. She likes you and want you to be her BF. It is definitely NOT needy to tell her that you want her as your GF, as long as it is honest and you can accept a no. Neediness is when you have a desire and expect people to give you what you want. If you don't expect anything from them, you can have as many desires as you like without being needy.

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Author:	Xoved [ Mon Oct 07, 2013 12:45 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I didn't expect this, did I lose value?
Quote: I think you are on the wrong track here. You are not honest with her. You are trying to use her, which is mean. That is not good game. She likes you and want you to be her BF. It is definitely NOT needy to tell her that you want her as your GF, as long as it is honest and you can accept a no. Neediness is when you have a desire and expect people to give you what you want. If you don't expect anything from them, you can have as many desires as you like without being needy. She already admitted her feelings and I'm positive about the idea that she doesn't have any guy except him in her life at the moment. So I'd say just follow the flow and see where you land. Don't tell her to be your girlfriend, act it. For example, when a guy at a place wants to open her and flirt with her, tell him that she's yours. That's how you show a girl that you are hers. I'm saying this because I fucked up over and over several times with these issues, and I always lowered my value right when I wanted to tell the girl that I wanted her to be my girlfriend. Just be the guy who is there for her and she will initiate the relationship talk later on.

Author:	Pinkfloyd123 [ Mon Oct 07, 2013 8:25 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I didn't expect this, did I lose value?
Quote: Quote: Here's the crux of my issue: You know how a girl will think about you and say, "I wonder if he likes me? I wonder if he thinks of me?" Etc. What I did was answer all those questions n I feel I lost her curiousity, and that I'm giving myself away thus making me not interesting<< this is a better explanation of my issue. Please comment on Xoved, the "Act it" part about being her bf was really helpful. And most likely I'll explain "last time we talked you caught me a bit off guard, I thought about what you said and I feel the same way you feel about me." Also if someone can address the quote I hv above I'd appreciate it.

Author:	Eddie Fews [ Mon Oct 07, 2013 8:32 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I didn't expect this, did I lose value?
I would of said " I think you're dope! You're my baby" and just hugged her. But yea dude, you didn't mess this up, but you're definitely going down a road that will lead to the girl dictating the relationship. What is it you want a girlfriend for anyway? Just curious. P.S. let the girls bring up the escalating of the relationship. Women like to feel like they've locked a good guy down and chose her out of all the others.

Author:	Xoved [ Mon Oct 07, 2013 8:51 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I didn't expect this, did I lose value?
Quote: Quote: Quote: Here's the crux of my issue: You know how a girl will think about you and say, "I wonder if he likes me? I wonder if he thinks of me?" Etc. What I did was answer all those questions n I feel I lost her curiousity, and that I'm giving myself away thus making me not interesting<< this is a better explanation of my issue. Please comment on Xoved, the "Act it" part about being her bf was really helpful. And most likely I'll explain "last time we talked you caught me a bit off guard, I thought about what you said and I feel the same way you feel about me." Also if someone can address the quote I hv above I'd appreciate it. I'm really glad that happened man. Don't worry, you're on the right track, keep doing it casually and she'll bring up the relationship talk in less than a month. If she didn't, well, it's not meant to be. But from the statements I'm reading so far I'm definitely positive about you.

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