PUA Forum :: Solving Buyer's Remorse Problem

yes i think it was so fast, and there's also my fault.

its true that i felt some feeling since i met u first time. i hoped more time to know u. but i drunk couldn't control myself, so i confused now and i think i made mistake

well firstly, it isn't buyers remorse if she never bought anything, you need to let her know that

the way you handled it she may not believe it now

if a girl is alone with you period sex is on the table. shes probably just under the inclination that you did have sex while she was drunk

you would be well served by just texting her the next day being funny and reasonably kind and complementary. Remember this is post-sex so thats ok now. Show reasonable attentiveness and interest while being fun and casual. She should feel less slutty and have less reason to rationalize unhelpful excuses for her behavior.

And like you said if she brings up the sex being awkward or from drink, just agree with her and laugh about it while saying what great chemistry you both have together.

oh well if she is trying to defer and project her perceived misbehavior on you I would laugh about it and say "ya I cant control myself around you" then try to do it again

Author:	andwan0 [ Sat Sep 28, 2013 10:39 pm ]
Post subject:	Solving Buyer's Remorse Problem
I need advice on solving Buyer's Remorse, as there doesn't seem to be any advice/help on this subject from search. There's lots of information on preventing Buyer's Remorse, etc. but hardly any information about solving the problem. I was very slow the next morning to pick up the signals. I thought she was experiencing hangover and was very tired. But I remember how life-less she was, speechless and there was a small hint of frustration at me (a small throw of a piece of rose pedal). In her head she's probably thinking "how could you take advantage of me". Now it's too late and days gone by and she's less invested in replying to my text. I don't know what to say because I don't want to say the wrong words. After I confessed my regrets to her, she said: Quote: yes i think it was so fast, and there's also my fault. its true that i felt some feeling since i met u first time. i hoped more time to know u. but i drunk couldn't control myself, so i confused now and i think i made mistake Q. Should I convince her that what she felt before was attraction/chemistry? (and this has nothing to do with alcohol) Q. Should I also play fool and say that everything was fast, etc, and couldn't control myself? Q. Should I ask her what she remembers? How can I get her to meet up with me to talk about it? Maybe phone call? Need advice. She seems scared of me now. PS: We didn't even do it! Just slept in same bed. I am not even sure how much she remembers. PPS: This Buyer's Remorse is slightly different nature. Met normally, hanged out (dinner). Met again twice (dinners), plus another third meet (drinks). Then finally a date (which is the finale). Since I assume she's a reserved girl, she didn't expect something like this to go so fast.

Author:	Zirk13 [ Sat Sep 28, 2013 10:54 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Solving Buyer's Remorse Problem
well firstly, it isn't buyers remorse if she never bought anything, you need to let her know that the way you handled it she may not believe it now

Author:	andwan0 [ Sat Sep 28, 2013 10:57 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Solving Buyer's Remorse Problem
Quote: well firstly, it isn't buyers remorse if she never bought anything, you need to let her know that the way you handled it she may not believe it now true, it's not buyer's remorse in sense of sex. but it's regret that I almost did? if she remembers what happened, then she probably figured out the hidden agenda and she's disappointed in me that am not that nice/innocent guy she first thought I was? if she doesn't remember... then...

Author:	Zirk13 [ Sat Sep 28, 2013 11:01 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Solving Buyer's Remorse Problem
if a girl is alone with you period sex is on the table. shes probably just under the inclination that you did have sex while she was drunk

Author:	andwan0 [ Sat Sep 28, 2013 11:08 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Solving Buyer's Remorse Problem
Quote: if a girl is alone with you period sex is on the table. shes probably just under the inclination that you did have sex while she was drunk For a recently new christian girl, coming from a reserved family (I assume), never kissed before, etc... I think the shock of seeing me half naked the next morning is bad enough, plus me actually bringing her back home too.... Instead of me being a gentleman and take her to her home... I mean... Everything seemed going well till I messed up (courting, dating sense) You can see the inexperience from her text message. I assume if girl comes back to mine late then she wants to do it. But as soon as I took her to my room onto my bed, she said she just want to sleep ( and gave a really worried look). I felt guilty and then just let her sleep. She insisted to keep her clothes on. I just laid beside her and put her head on my chest... And didn't want to take my clothes off.... Middle of night I was sweating hot and decided to take my clothes off..... Now am trying to think of what to say...... I guess I should just tell the truth....

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Author:	detox75 [ Sat Sep 28, 2013 11:24 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Solving Buyer's Remorse Problem
you would be well served by just texting her the next day being funny and reasonably kind and complementary. Remember this is post-sex so thats ok now. Show reasonable attentiveness and interest while being fun and casual. She should feel less slutty and have less reason to rationalize unhelpful excuses for her behavior. And like you said if she brings up the sex being awkward or from drink, just agree with her and laugh about it while saying what great chemistry you both have together.

Author:	andwan0 [ Sun Sep 29, 2013 12:34 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Solving Buyer's Remorse Problem
Quote: you would be well served by just texting her the next day being funny and reasonably kind and complementary. Remember this is post-sex so thats ok now. Show reasonable attentiveness and interest while being fun and casual. She should feel less slutty and have less reason to rationalize unhelpful excuses for her behavior. And like you said if she brings up the sex being awkward or from drink, just agree with her and laugh about it while saying what great chemistry you both have together. Dude, we didn't even do it.... And I don't think she was in a good mood days later. But anyway, I shouldn't rationalise right when I talk to her? But she's already got in her head that I tried to sleep with her and being a Christian, that's taboo.

Author:	detox75 [ Sun Sep 29, 2013 2:13 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Solving Buyer's Remorse Problem
oh well if she is trying to defer and project her perceived misbehavior on you I would laugh about it and say "ya I cant control myself around you" then try to do it again

Author:	andwan0 [ Sun Sep 29, 2013 12:25 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Solving Buyer's Remorse Problem
Quote: oh well if she is trying to defer and project her perceived misbehavior on you I would laugh about it and say "ya I cant control myself around you" then try to do it again Yes, something I can say face to face... But right now my problem is arranging the meet up..... I guess give her time, it's been 4 days since last texted her, and I might silence for 2 weeks then ping... But not sure how to..... Could try role play since that's how I originally set up the prev date.... Or say "missing you" sweet messages???

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