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Having trouble being nice
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Author:  Pinkfloyd123 [ Sun Sep 15, 2013 2:23 am ]
Post subject:  Having trouble being nice

Basically I hv issues being nice when it comes to push/pull. I end up pushing more than pulling -- and I guess girls can interpret what I say as being mean... Not a mean person though, I'm afraid of flirting with her, and having her reject me, or saying your cute and having her ignore it. Learning pickup sorta messed with my brain, I think if I compliment them AT ALL it will be interpreted as neediness.

I just got off the phone with a girl and I teased her a bit too much, she even flirted with me a bit, and I kept teasing I guess, I didn't know what ELSE TO DO. I than said, that's how I joke with ppl I like, and not to take what I say to heart. I also said, "I like you, your a good kid" her. "I'm older than you" me: "(jokingly) Soo you can still be a good kid" Than she went on to say, "I shouldn't joke like that especially because she doesn't fully know me, than she said, you got 2 strikes buddy one more and your out." I said, "Is that a challenge? Challenge accepted!"

Anyhow, what can I say to pull girls in instead of pushing them, I'm not a mean person AT ALL but I just think girls don't like nice guys. I'm very much alone because of this, I guess. I really need se help guys!

Author:  Pinkfloyd123 [ Sun Sep 15, 2013 4:06 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Having trouble being nice

Please help...

Author:  LJ.Abroad [ Mon Sep 16, 2013 8:45 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Having trouble being nice

Push pull is basically a compliment, then a but.. For example. ' You're cute, but your also a little crazy'. The idea is that the compliment will slip past her conscious mind, and she'll more likely be responding to 'but your a little crazy' whistle 'you're cute' should raise her emotional state. Go to much into the insult and it'll say 'I can't hang out with this guy, he's obnoxious'.

In response to the '2 strikes then you're out, buddy' say ' you know what? This is silly, im going to the park at x to walk my dog, why dont you come join me for half an hour' or any sitution you can think of. Its about body language, and if she cant see that your playful, she'll raise her defenses and tell you to go fuck yourself. Verbally

Author:  Soy Un Pony Dork [ Mon Sep 16, 2013 1:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Having trouble being nice

You probably are needy. You're scared to flirt because you think that if you mess up with this one girl, it'll be over. It wont be. Just go for it. And if you do mess up, learn from it and try again with a different girl.

Author:  hugge [ Tue Sep 17, 2013 7:52 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Having trouble being nice

I think push/pull is a technique commonly misunderstood. Maybe I have misunderstood it too, I don't know... For me it means that if a girl shows interest in you, you should show her interest back. For instance, she comes over to you and say "hi". You respond with a big smile, putting your arm around her and say "hi! I have missed you!". That is a pull. Then you chat for a while like normal people, and since you were busy ordering beer to your friends (let's say) you tell her "I need to go now, we can talk later". The fact that you end the conversation is a push, but you leave her with some hope for more.

I would call this "being a normal guy". All you need to do is to keep the energy up during the conversation and keep eye contact, so that she will miss the good feeling hanging around with you when you leave. If you "push" when a girl shows you interest, you are rejecting her - doing exactly what you are afraid of yourself. That is a defence that will prevent you from meeting people.

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