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I need an experts help
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=168596		 Page 1 of 2
Author:  Texas Hammer [ Thu Sep 12, 2013 6:29 pm ]
Post subject:  I need an experts help
Okay, so my friend approached a girl at a bar and started talking to her, and we all started hanging out in a group, it turns out I've known the girl for a while and she asked him for my number and we started talking. Turns out we have a lot in common and right off the bat she said she was very attracted to me and I told her I was interested in her as well. The first time we hung out she dressed up for me, we struck it off, I was constantly making her laugh, we were really enjoying each others company, I didn't touch her too much though and didn't escalate, for some reason I didn't feel the need to since we both knew we were attracted to each other and interested in more so I didn't think too much of it. Later that day we were talking and I told her what she was wearing was hot, and she said that she had to be honest with me and that she didn't think we could be anything as of right now because my best friend has a huge crush on her, and she didn't want to hurt him, then she went on to say that she really enjoyed hanging out with me and that it almost felt like she was hanging out with herself. I could tell she was trying to friend zone me so I flipped it on her and said in that case we should just be friends. Unfortunately it backfired and she said I'm so glad you agree with me. What should I do? I'm still really interested in this chick, I wish I could have gone about it differently but thats in the past and realize my mistakes, I don't think I'm screwed, but what should I do to make her reconsider? Make her see me with other women? Tell her that I still want something more than friendship from her but I also won't wait for her to come to around to the idea and I will move on? Or something else? Help plz :)
Author:  TheFury [ Thu Sep 12, 2013 6:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I need an experts help
Quote:
Okay, so my friend approached a girl at a bar and started talking to her, and we all started hanging out in a group, it turns out I've known the girl for a while and she asked him for my number and we started talking. Turns out we have a lot in common and right off the bat she said she was very attracted to me and I told her I was interested in her as well. The first time we hung out she dressed up for me, we struck it off, I was constantly making her laugh, we were really enjoying each others company, I didn't touch her too much though and didn't escalate, for some reason I didn't feel the need to since we both knew we were attracted to each other and interested in more so I didn't think too much of it. Later that day we were talking and I told her what she was wearing was hot, and she said that she had to be honest with me and that she didn't think we could be anything as of right now because my best friend has a huge crush on her, and she didn't want to hurt him, then she went on to say that she really enjoyed hanging out with me and that it almost felt like she was hanging out with herself. I could tell she was trying to friend zone me so I flipped it on her and said in that case we should just be friends. Unfortunately it backfired and she said I'm so glad you agree with me. What should I do? I'm still really interested in this chick, I wish I could have gone about it differently but thats in the past and realize my mistakes, I don't think I'm screwed, but what should I do to make her reconsider? Make her see me with other women? Tell her that I still want something more than friendship from her but I also won't wait for her to come to around to the idea and I will move on? Or something else? Help plz :)
Well you screwed up by telling her let's be friends. You needed to put her to the test and let her know she does not have a "free option" with you and that if she wants you, it will be for romantic reasons. I think the best way is to hold off from hanging out with her and contacting her for a bit and then see what happens. Also, you didn't physically escalate when you had the chance. This is a huge mistake. ALWAYS GO FOR IT WHEN THE OPPORTUNITY PRESENTS. NEVER "SAVE IT FOR LATER"
Author:  Warped Mindless [ Thu Sep 12, 2013 6:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I need an experts help
Hard to say with such limited information. However, from what little info I have... you should have touched her and made a move. Chicks get very bored really fast with guys who dont make a move.
Author:  Texas Hammer [ Thu Sep 12, 2013 6:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I need an experts help
Thanks for the quick response fury, I was thinking the same thing, would it help if I brought another girl around and flirted with her in front of her to make her jealous? I know it might be a little immature but I'm pretty sure that it would show her that I'm not just interested in her and she's not the only one interested in me, maybe it would make her reconsider? And maybe show her a little negative body language? Like ignore her over the other girl/not show her attention? Because I was giving her ALOT of compliments and attention when we were talking and she was reciprocating. I kind of feel like I skipped the phase of me playing hard to get because she was straight forward in that she already was attracted to me so I said the same, after all, she was looking dead at me as I performed with my band on stage, and other chicks were screaming at me as well so I definitely displayed value with that
Author:  Texas Hammer [ Thu Sep 12, 2013 6:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I need an experts help
Hmm what other info would you want? I can get very detailed just let me know what you need to form your opinion
Author:  detox75 [ Thu Sep 12, 2013 7:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I need an experts help
It seems to me, with this limited information, you made one of the most fundamental AFC mistakes. You basically pissed away all your value by putting her above you.
Quote:
right off the bat she said she was very attracted to me and I told her I was interested in her as well.
Why do you feel the need to reciprocate her compliment or declare you unqualified interest? This is generically a bad idea, if you want to pay her a sincere compliment dont tie it to her statements about you, it comes off as inherently low value. Telling a girl you are attracted to her without making her compliant first is a ham-fisted bumble. Is this a pattern? I would guess that you are a good looking guy who gets friend zoned a lot because you feel the need to supplicate, facilitate, and appease.
Quote:
I was constantly making her laugh, we were really enjoying each others company
Are you providing comfort and rapport instead of pumping attraction? Making a girl laugh is a good opening move, its generally counterproductive in excess on a date.
Quote:
she really enjoyed hanging out with me and that it almost felt like she was hanging out with herself.
A girl should never get that feeling from a successful date.

Remember girls are looking for a guy who is above them on the social ladder, climbing down to meet her at her level or beneath it is always a back-patting, friendly smiles, death sentence for attraction.



This physical escalate thing is generally a red herring compared to the real issue.
Author:  Soy Un Pony Dork [ Thu Sep 12, 2013 8:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I need an experts help
Quote:
Thanks for the quick response fury, I was thinking the same thing, would it help if I brought another girl around and flirted with her in front of her to make her jealous? I know it might be a little immature but I'm pretty sure that it would show her that I'm not just interested in her and she's not the only one interested in me, maybe it would make her reconsider? And maybe show her a little negative body language? Like ignore her over the other girl/not show her attention? Because I was giving her ALOT of compliments and attention when we were talking and she was reciprocating. I kind of feel like I skipped the phase of me playing hard to get because she was straight forward in that she already was attracted to me so I said the same, after all, she was looking dead at me as I performed with my band on stage, and other chicks were screaming at me as well so I definitely displayed value with that
No. I think that if a girl is attracted to you, then you've done 90% of the work. There's no need for games. Just act like it never happened. Invite her on another date and kiss her at some random time. She'll eat it up, like a soap opera.
Author:  Natty [ Thu Sep 12, 2013 8:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I need an experts help
When she said she didn't want to hurt her friend it was her way of saying she wants a fuckbuddy. All the signs point to it. You better tell her u want the same thing within a few days or she's going to find somebody else.

And make sure she knows you will be discrete since that is obviously important to her.
Author:  Texas Hammer [ Fri Sep 13, 2013 4:42 am ]
Post subject:  Re: I need an experts help
Sadly detox, your completely right, lol it is a pattern, everyone says I'm good looking, and I do get friend zoned alot. And I'm working on that now, am I screwed? Or should I tell her I want to meet up with her and and do as natty said? Make a move for just sex? What would you do if you were me in this situation?
Author:  Texas Hammer [ Fri Sep 13, 2013 4:50 am ]
Post subject:  Re: I need an experts help
I've never successfully turned something like this around, if I meet up with her, would it be best to just straight up make a sexual move on her? Or should I talk to her about it first and straightforwardly say we want the same thing, sex. Then move in? Or do I need to tease her about wanting to have sex with me, you know, sort of put it on her mind when we're hanging out, then make a move?
Author:  Droogo [ Fri Sep 13, 2013 6:41 am ]
Post subject:  Re: I need an experts help
Quote:
No. I think that if a girl is attracted to you, then you've done 90% of the work. There's no need for games. Just act like it never happened. Invite her on another date and kiss her at some random time. She'll eat it up, like a soap opera.
I agree with you, If she' s attracted to you, the only thing you need to do is escalate.
Author:  AndreasJacobsen [ Fri Sep 13, 2013 10:54 am ]
Post subject:  Re: I need an experts help
I don't have much input with this specific girl and this situation; it didn't happen, you didn't escalate and now you are just friends. Under the right circumstances you might be able to form some sort of sexual relationship with her; you can both be drunk, she can be in a vulnerable place and look for some comfort (after a break up, her dog just died etc.) or something familiar. I wouldn't wait for these opportunities however, and I wouldn't act on them! If your friend is madly in love with her, it is best to just let it go... Meeting new women and time will make you forget about this girl, guaranteed!

One last pointer from my side: as others have already mentioned, you need to ESCALATE! rather be a little too aggressive than a little too careful. Think of it like this: If a girl is giving you all kinds of IOI's, she is really attracted to you and want you to make a move but you don't? That is just selfish :wink:

So learn the lesson here: escalate sooner than later and meet some new women.

- Andreas
Author:  TheFury [ Fri Sep 13, 2013 3:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I need an experts help
Quote:
So learn the lesson here: escalate sooner than later and meet some new women.

- Andreas
This. I wrote about it here: http://t.co/ceLy87TO8f

Would you call a timeout if you were 5 yards from the goal line with the ball and no defender in sight? Of course not. So why do it when you are on a date?
Author:  yello_fever [ Fri Sep 13, 2013 4:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I need an experts help
watch Gambler's friendzone destroyer on youtube.

yeah, even if the girl is already interested in you (like, throwing herself to you), you still need to do pickup. I learned this the hard way. Reason being is, attraction can be lost at any point of the interaction. It can start strong, then as in your case, your failure to escalate lost the attraction ("oh, maybe he's not as alpha as I thought he was gonna be").

As for your friend, it sucks, but if they don't have a history then it doesn't really matter if he has a crush on her. He failed to create attraction in her, and therefore, should not stop you from gaming her. That's selfish of him to prevent you from getting something he cannot.
Author:  Texas Hammer [ Fri Sep 13, 2013 6:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I need an experts help
Okay so what is the general consensus? Move on? I texted her this morning saying, "By the way, when I said friends, I meant friends with benefits ;)" I'm waiting for a text back, I figured I'd make what I want perfectly clear, and if she doesn't want that, then I'm moving on. Y'all think this is the best bet?
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