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first date - casual or special?
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Author:  bartm [ Mon Sep 02, 2013 7:24 am ]
Post subject:  first date - casual or special?
Hi

regarding a first date, should it be special or casual? I can think of 2 extremes:
casual - I call her and say "I am here doing some work at this coffeeshop by your house. if you want to meet up, come over" I take my laptop with me to the coffeeshop to make it look like I am working there and it's very casual. I am not doing anything special for her, I was there anyway. cost of coffee: $3
special - I take the car, pick her up and take her to an expensive restaurant - cost: $100

I always thought the first one is better, but someone told me the second one is better. I know most guys on tv take the girl to an expensive restaurant, but I thought PUAs have a different mindset?

so what should I do for a first date?
Author:  Monsignor Crisanto [ Mon Sep 02, 2013 9:12 am ]
Post subject:  Re: first date - casual or special?
Girls get very conscious when you spend so much money on them. If your date isn't earning anywhere near $100 for a day's worth of work, DON'T. It will mess up your k-close or f-close. The girl will act very formal and nervous making the date not so fun at all.

If you have your own place and you're not sharing it with anyone, make your invitation casual to DO a fun activity. Something like, "I'm planning to mate my poodle with the neighbor's chihuahua. If you want to help with the dog romance, come over. It'll be fun."

As Hunter_Foxe says, "You can't make the girl suck your cock in a coffee shop."

:twisted:
Author:  TheFury [ Mon Sep 02, 2013 1:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: first date - casual or special?
Definitely don't do the coffee shop date. Those dates are not romantic, usually during the day, and also make her invest nothing in meeting you. You want her to invest in meeting you. There is a lot of mixed views about dinner dates. I would DEFINITELY do #2 over #1 if I were you for the following reasons:

(1) You are picking he up so you are in control of transportation etc => MUCH EASIER to close that night
(2) Dinner is more romantic than meeting up at a freaking coffee shop
(3) Contrary to popular PUA belief (usually started by guys with no money), paying is social norm and no woman will be turned off by you paying for her
(4) Alcohol will be involved ;)

However, what I generally do, though I do like dinner dates, is just meet a girl for drinks somewhere AT NIGHT, NEAR MY HOUSE. Definitely drive so you have a much higher chance of closing that night.
Author:  slurp812 [ Mon Sep 02, 2013 1:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: first date - casual or special?
I guess it doesn't make that big of a difference. Its all in the game, not all about the setting. Also picking up the tab leaves the door open for "you owe me one". At least on a coffee date.
Author:  TheFury [ Mon Sep 02, 2013 2:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: first date - casual or special?
Quote:
I guess it doesn't make that big of a difference. Its all in the game, not all about the setting. Also picking up the tab leaves the door open for "you owe me one". At least on a coffee date.
nope. this is wrong.
Author:  Il-Cavalieri [ Mon Sep 02, 2013 2:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: first date - casual or special?
Personally, I'd go for the dinner at a fine restaurant. Although, Hellbound does have a point. The first couple times I took my current GF on a date she was kinda intimidated by the fact that I can spend that kind of money on her and felt a bit out of her enviroment (I'm 26, she's 18 and was used to dating kids who ride the bus and meet her at Pizza Hut). I guess it depends on the girl. But as a rule of thumb, expensive is always better, and if you think an expensive restaurant is over the top tone it down a bit and pick something classy and trendy, yet affordable.
Author:  havegunwilltravel [ Mon Sep 02, 2013 3:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: first date - casual or special?
You have some good replies here and I think dinner at a nice restaurant is never a bad idea. But If you making a thread on here about where to go your probably putting to much on this really small matter. You can go to pizza hut or you can go to a 5 star restaurant in the end the venue is of minor importance compared to how you act and treat her. I usually don't go out to dinner for a while with a girl but instead have them over to my place to watch tv and hang out. It sounds boring but I have gotten really good results. So long as the two of you have fun and enjoy yourselves the rest will fall into place.
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Mon Sep 02, 2013 6:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: first date - casual or special?
Read this : The 1 Hour Date: A Secret Weapon

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-play ... ret-weapon
Author:  Jay (Majik) [ Tue Sep 03, 2013 8:04 am ]
Post subject:  Re: first date - casual or special?
Hang outs bro. Don't even bother with dates. Girls aren't stupid man. There is no reason to wine and dine them. They know what you are doing all of that for.

"Come over and watch a movie with me."

It's that simple. Just give her SOME excuse to hang out with you so she isn't telling herself on the way there "OH MY GOD! I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M GOING OVER HERE TO FUCK THIS GUY!!" instead she will be saying "I'm just going over there to watch a movie. I'm not going to sleep with some guy I just met."
Author:  n2thevoid [ Tue Sep 03, 2013 8:27 am ]
Post subject:  Re: first date - casual or special?
Focus on having fun, letting things to simply BE (things will unfold organically of their own volition - its something you can't force). Trying to impress is the standard faire women are used to, keep the expectations low and be present.

The best times I ever had involved not having a rigid plan. Have a few options open you'll know which is best at that moment, you can't preplan everything you'll only create anxiety for yourself (and she'll likely sense it).
Author:  n2thevoid [ Tue Sep 03, 2013 8:28 am ]
Post subject:  Re: first date - casual or special?
Quote:
Hang outs bro. Don't even bother with dates. Girls aren't stupid man. There is no reason to wine and dine them. They know what you are doing all of that for.

"Come over and watch a movie with me."

It's that simple. Just give her SOME excuse to hang out with you so she isn't telling herself on the way there "OH MY GOD! I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M GOING OVER HERE TO FUCK THIS GUY!!" instead she will be saying "I'm just going over there to watch a movie. I'm not going to sleep with some guy I just met."
Plausible deniability.
Author:  Jay (Majik) [ Tue Sep 03, 2013 9:08 am ]
Post subject:  Re: first date - casual or special?
Quote:
Quote:
Hang outs bro. Don't even bother with dates. Girls aren't stupid man. There is no reason to wine and dine them. They know what you are doing all of that for.

"Come over and watch a movie with me."

It's that simple. Just give her SOME excuse to hang out with you so she isn't telling herself on the way there "OH MY GOD! I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M GOING OVER HERE TO FUCK THIS GUY!!" instead she will be saying "I'm just going over there to watch a movie. I'm not going to sleep with some guy I just met."
Plausible deniability.

Exactly.
Author:  TheFury [ Tue Sep 03, 2013 11:37 am ]
Post subject:  Re: first date - casual or special?
Quote:
Hang outs bro. Don't even bother with dates. Girls aren't stupid man. There is no reason to wine and dine them. They know what you are doing all of that for.

"Come over and watch a movie with me."

It's that simple. Just give her SOME excuse to hang out with you so she isn't telling herself on the way there "OH MY GOD! I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M GOING OVER HERE TO FUCK THIS GUY!!" instead she will be saying "I'm just going over there to watch a movie. I'm not going to sleep with some guy I just met."
This is ideal, but there are still a large number of women, particularly on a first date, who will sleep with you on that first date but will not agree to come over right away.
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