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Tall guy trying to avoid leaning in
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Author:  Snippy [ Tue Aug 27, 2013 9:51 am ]
Post subject:  Tall guy trying to avoid leaning in
Hi there,

I´ll get right to the point, I´m a rather tall guy, 2 meters (6 feet 7 (if not mistaken)) and I'm having a hard time with not leaning in, in loud clubs and bars. I know that leaning in is considered as needy and less alpha and I'm fully aware when I lean in to hear what someone is saying.

I've tried not leaning in, which works just fine with taller girls, but I prefer the petite cute girls. And what happens with these girls is that they need to get on the tip of there toes in order to talk to me. Which is fine in bits of the interaction, but when talking to someone for 20 minutes it really gets uncomfortable for her.
And if they don't get on there toes to get near my ear I won't be able to hear them and they won't be able to hear me.

I would like to know what other tall guys do to avoid leaning in, in loud clubs/bars with tiny girls/woman.
Author:  NonStopReaper [ Tue Aug 27, 2013 10:20 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Tall guy trying to avoid leaning in
move her to a seating area, and take a seat, and have her stand up or have her sit down next to you. where she doesn't have to tippy toe to talk with you.
Author:  Snippy [ Tue Aug 27, 2013 10:31 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Tall guy trying to avoid leaning in
Quote:
move her to a seating area, and take a seat, and have her stand up or have her sit down next to you. where she doesn't have to tippy toe to talk with you.
That's what I tend to do/try in clubs and bars with seating areas, but some don't have any seating area at all.

And I'm not always able to isolate the girl to the seating area, at least not for a good 10-20 minutes, as I need to build some comfort and get some sort of approval from her friends. So during this time I struggle with the leaning in.
Author:  Dragula [ Tue Aug 27, 2013 12:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Tall guy trying to avoid leaning in
Not the end of the world.

2 people interested in each other = doesn't matter who's leaning in etc.

I'd choose having my hands in my pockets FEELING comfortable over doing the Alpha unatural FEELING stance anyday.
Author:  TheFury [ Tue Aug 27, 2013 2:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Tall guy trying to avoid leaning in
You are 6'7". You come off as alpha right off the bat most likely, who gives a shit if you have to lean in?
Author:  Snippy [ Tue Aug 27, 2013 2:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Tall guy trying to avoid leaning in
Thanks PEBBLE and TheFury, you 2 are absolutely right and just took away any insecurities I had regarding leaning in.

Cheers for the feedback
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Tue Aug 27, 2013 3:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Tall guy trying to avoid leaning in
Fucking lean in dude! I hate those little rules. They're silly!

If you're confident, comfortable in your sexuality, and ability to attract women then it doesn't matter what you do! Its how you do it.

I honestly do see how you guys are out there thinking about all of these things when out meeting women. It just doesn't make sense to me. Why make a conversation uncomfortable because you don't want to break some lame "pua" rule? Come on dude.. You sound like a smart guy.
Author:  Dragula [ Tue Aug 27, 2013 5:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Tall guy trying to avoid leaning in
Quote:
Fucking lean in dude! I hate those little rules. They're silly!

If you're confident, comfortable in your sexuality, and ability to attract women then it doesn't matter what you do! Its how you do it.

I honestly do see how you guys are out there thinking about all of these things when out meeting women. It just doesn't make sense to me. Why make a conversation uncomfortable because you don't want to break some lame "pua" rule? Come on dude.. You sound like a smart guy.

Agreed.

I did some daygaming once and because I had my arms folded, my friend who was giving me feedback since he is way better at daygame than me, anyway, she didn't seem interested so i ejected then he was like:

"Your body language is too defensive with the folding the arms thing."

I let him have his moment to save a debate but yeah these silly little gay rules that don't actually do didly squat..I mean.. come on! if my body language was more open i highly doubt she will suddenly be interested and start suck me off in the train station.

A year or so later, my friend went commercial and wrote an article about doing things what makes you feel comfortable, pretty much what i posted 1st on this thread about the hands in pocket thing, then I hinted that he has evolved and mentioned that pickup I did in the past and he knew it contradicted his past "feedback".

JUST DO WHAT EVER MAKES YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE! just don't over do it and look at the floor and not make eye contact, common sense really....... feeling good owns being fake alpha in my opinion.

Some more bullshit PUA rules:
- Your texts must be shorter than hers.
- Take hands out of pockets.
- Don't buy her a drink.
- Never pay, your the prize.
- hold your drink away from chest, about pocket height.
- No pecking.
- make sure you lock in.
- You can only see your fuck buddy once a week, anymore than that she will fall in love.

I hope people can add to my list ;)
Author:  Snippy [ Wed Aug 28, 2013 11:52 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Tall guy trying to avoid leaning in
Got it, this does make a lot more sense to me as well.

Same with carrying the glass at pocket height, always thought this was such bullshit and felt awkward worrying about how to carry my drink. So I do carry my drink however the fuck I want, this drops the bullshit worries. Will do the same with leaning in.

And it's funny you mentioned the list, most of the points were worries at one point, but happy to say that I've already dropped all of them.

To add to the list of bullshit PUA rules:
- Be late on your first date
- Never compliment a girl on her appearance on first approach (daygame specifically)
- Pay for everything on the first 3 dates

:)
Author:  Gabriel Angelo [ Tue Sep 10, 2013 7:51 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Tall guy trying to avoid leaning in
Honestly, it doesn't matter. I know there are a lot of rules saying never lend, but rules are meant to be broken.

Social calibration is far more important.

If you're a tall guy, you can keep following the rule and not hear what she's said or just forget it and have a conversation.

I'm a tall guy too 6'4, and i just instead of standing in facing in front of her I turn my side next to her and lend my ears in so she can speak.

It doesn't matter my friend because she won't be able to hear you do lending back.
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