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| Friend blows me out of sets all the time https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=167807 |
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| Author: | GamesSN [ Mon Aug 26, 2013 12:53 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Friend blows me out of sets all the time |
My mate fucks everything up and blows me out of sets. I don't think he means to, I think he just gets nervous. The other night it just brought me down and ended up being a huge blow to my confidence. Started off a set with a HB8 and her two friends(GBF and some chick), 30seconds in my mate blows me out of it calling me crazy to the target then grabbing me and running off. Same night, a group of HBs between 6-9 are checking us out. I want to make a move and get closer to them. He gets in a hissy fit and wants to sit alone in an armchair at the opposite side of the room where we couldn't even talk and be social with one another. What the fuck do I do? That night I just realised I didn't want to hang out with him alone, not if he's blowing me out of sets, being aggro and just boring in general. |
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| Author: | jcombs [ Tue Aug 27, 2013 4:32 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Friend blows me out of sets all the time |
just don't go out with him. I use to have the same problem with a few guys I went out with, so I just kept a distance for when I went to game and left them to do what they wanted at those times. If I was going out just to fuck around I would text them then and wouldn't care what happens that night. Take action of your situation. You really don't need a wingman to game night game go by urself it seems dangerous but you will get more numbers trust me. Not at first, but overtime it will be amazing. Having a friend you will always make an excuse with them, it just wont work out. |
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| Author: | Jay (Majik) [ Tue Aug 27, 2013 5:00 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Friend blows me out of sets all the time |
Go out by yourself man. It's pretty simple... if someone is holding you back from what you want to do, cut that person out of your life. Who cares if he's a good friend or whatever? You will find more friends who will be supportive of you and your life. |
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| Author: | RockstarPUA [ Tue Aug 27, 2013 8:30 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Friend blows me out of sets all the time |
Fuck, I hate guys who do that! Let me guess, you open a set and he comes up behind you saying 'sorry girls, my friends a bit weird, he's not bothering you is he?'. Cunts! I had a mate who did just that, when he called himself my wingman. He's no longer my friend. If you can't cut him out, then just focus on having the stronger frame. Make him look an idiot. Although you'l still have a harder time coz just him being there lowers your value. |
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| Author: | NonStopReaper [ Tue Aug 27, 2013 8:37 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Friend blows me out of sets all the time |
well here is a suggestion, why don't you help him learn how to pick up like you do? teach him how to be a proper wingman. learn as a team and build up a game plan. Just disregarding him just because he doesn't know what he is doing. Teach the guy! even if you don't think you can teach him, share what you know now. Sometimes you can learn a few things from them. If you have a group that good at setting each other up you are more likely to be successful. |
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| Author: | Dragula [ Tue Aug 27, 2013 9:37 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Friend blows me out of sets all the time |
Separate from him. Perhaps hang out in non female environments like call of duty Xbox live. |
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| Author: | GamesSN [ Tue Aug 27, 2013 11:18 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Friend blows me out of sets all the time |
Quote: Go out by yourself man.
I'm working on that at the moment. I read a tip from someone here saying to take it in little steps, go out for at least 15mins a night alone and try open sets then work your way up. Hopefully i'll be able to jump into that confidently enough shortly.It's pretty simple... if someone is holding you back from what you want to do, cut that person out of your life. Who cares if he's a good friend or whatever? You will find more friends who will be supportive of you and your life. I usually end up solo on a night out anyway when i'm out with friends. I'll use them as a base and do my own thing for most of the night. Since i've been back into PU and been able to be alone i've had nothing but success getting n-closes, k-closes and quite a few offers to f-close. Quote: Fuck, I hate guys who do that! Let me guess, you open a set and he comes up behind you saying 'sorry girls, my friends a bit weird, he's not bothering you is he?'. Cunts! I had a mate who did just that, when he called himself my wingman. He's no longer my friend. If you can't cut him out, then just focus on having the stronger frame. Make him look an idiot. Although you'l still have a harder time coz just him being there lowers your value.
Pretty much. If I open a set and try invite him into it he'll just giggle and run away... Makes the entire interaction very strange and extremely hard to recover from. I've been strong enough in my frame not to visibly be bothered by it but at the back of my mind it has an effect. When it's on a warm up it just puts you off game the entire night.I'm not saying I want to go out every night and score women all the time, I just want to go out and be able to talk to whoever and have fun with it if the opportunity is there every now and then. I think we should all be like that anyway. Quote: well here is a suggestion, why don't you help him learn how to pick up like you do? teach him how to be a proper wingman. learn as a team and build up a game plan. Just disregarding him just because he doesn't know what he is doing. Teach the guy! even if you don't think you can teach him, share what you know now. Sometimes you can learn a few things from them. If you have a group that good at setting each other up you are more likely to be successful.
Thing is he used to be crazy into PUA. He got no results from it though other than getting over approach anxiety... I don't even think he got a single n-close(Which is like second nature for me at this point -- it's the easiest close). He could open on women but that was about as far as he ever got with it. I got involved with someone and dropped from it, he carried on then lost interest. Since i've gotten back into it he's just not been interested at all. It's a shame because we used to be a good duo, backed one another up, opened sets well, didn't put one another down and just had fun with it. He's forgotten the basics of PU too and just gets wasted when he's out and does stupid shit in general thinking it's funny.I want to get him back into it, I told him about MM which is a good How To/Step By Step guide but after more than a month he just won't read into it at all. Any suggestions on how to get him back into PU? I've suggested numerous books but he just won't read them. I would pick women up on front of him but I can't, he just fucks it up. If I do manage to get women when he's around he'll belittle the entire situation. |
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| Author: | NonStopReaper [ Tue Aug 27, 2013 11:40 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Friend blows me out of sets all the time |
well in that situation its really up to him. I figured he had no clue but in this situation he knows and choose to do the opposite, You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. Therefore i would cut my losses, until he fix up his act. As a good friend you should know when you friend is trying to help you,(you being that good friend) it seems like he doesn't get the point. Somewhere along the line he lost his self confident. he needs to fix his inner game before he can move on to getting back into PU. I think if he does this. everything else would come back. Its seem like he is emotionally and mentally blocking himself at this point. maybe you can find out what changed him? |
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| Author: | GamesSN [ Tue Aug 27, 2013 12:05 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Friend blows me out of sets all the time |
I guess you're right. He's a good mate, I get along with him well and I do manage to have fun with him when he doesn't fuck things up completely. I guess I should put PU on hold if I want a wingman and try work on my solo game in the meantime. Other than that I should help him build up his confidence and sort his shit out. Bros before hoes. Heh. |
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| Author: | NonStopReaper [ Tue Aug 27, 2013 12:18 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Friend blows me out of sets all the time |
one step back and 3 step forward. your mate is just in a rut. he has potential like you said. soo helping him out of his rut, will help you also. every experience is a learn one. You might find out what got him there and learn how not to get yourself in the same situation that he is currently in. |
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| Author: | Eddie Fews [ Tue Aug 27, 2013 3:23 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Friend blows me out of sets all the time |
Be a fucking leader and stop blaming other people. If you see 3 girls go approach them alone. If he grabs you away "stop him" and return to the conversation you were having with the girls. This isn't his fault, this is yours. Take responsibility and use this as an opportunity to grow. There are always going to be obstacles in the way of us getting with women but it is our job to figure out a way to deal with it. We don't cry, complain, and let it effect us. Besides, if your friend is determining you success with women he's the Alpha male of the group.. Don't you think? |
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| Author: | Xoved [ Tue Aug 27, 2013 4:08 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Friend blows me out of sets all the time |
I've had a lot of friends like that. When I was really young, around 17, some of my friends used to "act big" in front of girls. For example, we're sitting at a pub and I see a group of girls. So I go up and open with some random topics and they'd start acting big (because they are 20, 21, etc...) and telling them I'm 17 and I just entered university and stuff. I tried to talk to these people and they said the girls were getting bored. What I did was cut them right off from my life and started with a new group of friends. Now, every time they see me they want to go out with me and I still reject, as I now have a lot of girls around me and they know it. What I'm saying is, try to talk to him first. If that doesn't work, cut him off. You don't need negative people in your life. Overall, these days I go out alone as a guy with around 3-4 girls. I hookup with one of them because I like her and I enjoy my nights. They sometimes bring their girl friends too. This increases my value in the place because of the girls around me and I get to know new girls. So you never know, you might end up with a better group/friend. Good luck |
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| Author: | rick_pua [ Tue Aug 27, 2013 4:54 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Friend blows me out of sets all the time |
be friends with him but don't go out to meet girls with him, find new supportive friends to do that with. |
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| Author: | JonB [ Thu Aug 29, 2013 1:43 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Friend blows me out of sets all the time |
Quote: be friends with him but don't go out to meet girls with him, find new supportive friends to do that with.
Simple as that really. I have different groups of friends for different occasions... party friends, wingmen etc ...
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| Author: | GamesSN [ Thu Aug 29, 2013 3:14 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Friend blows me out of sets all the time |
Quote: Quote: be friends with him but don't go out to meet girls with him, find new supportive friends to do that with.
Simple as that really. I have different groups of friends for different occasions... party friends, wingmen etc ...The frustrating thing is he's actually not a bad looking guy and you can have a lot of fun with him. He could open, keep conversations going to an extent and wasn't afraid to approach and open but his SP was transitioning from opening to mid game. Then he turned to different types of game before completely giving up. There's times he's into a chick and you just know he wants to get somewhere with them but he gets in the way of himself. He won't just go with it no matter how much of a fool he thinks i'll make of myself, he'll just refuse right out and if he does get near he'll just say something awkward and inappropriate. It won't be inappropriate in a confident non-perverted way, it will just be weird and not deliberately "Haha" weird but just weird. I think he needs to reassess his personality around women. He can open, he can be fun but it's almost as if he can not mentally connect with a woman or even take the time to ask the most simple of questions of her. |
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