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Critique it: Text Game
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Author:  Ranger21 [ Tue Aug 20, 2013 4:14 am ]
Post subject:  Critique it: Text Game
Alittle background info, meet this HB9 this past weekend. We hit it off together (or atleast I think haha) I met her at a bar and talked to her for quite sometime, once bar close came she invited me to another bar just the two of us. After that bar closed I invited her back to my place (she drove us there) and by my place I had meant my parents, shit lol. Well we pulled in the driveway and she wasn't thrilled about going in knowing it was my parents. We ended up staying in her car for 10 mins and making out. After that I went in and she ended up going home. Why i didn't bring her somewhere else I don't know lol. So anyway we had talked about going out again the next night, so I got her number. I texted her the next day saying I was going out with a few friends and she should join us, her response was she was wiped out from the night before and didn't feel like spending anymore money.
So fast forward to today I decided to text her.. here's how it went..

me: So I have the Craziest dream ever last night!
her: haha what was it?
me: it was really crazy, you were actually in it!
her: o gosh. what was it about?
me: OK, i'll tell you, but it was pretty intense and vivid.
her: ummm ok...
me: explained dream about her coming over kissing etc... blah blah blah
her: Wow! you remeber all of that? I barely remember any parts of mine lol
me: I never really dream like that and thats why it was so intense!
her: hahah ooo ranger21
me: Have yo ever done anything like that?
her: no lol
me: you don't consider yourself to be spontaneous or sexual enough?
her: haha umm not really, ive never really done anything like that
me: it sounds like youve been neglected of passion and its time to embrace the inner woman inside of you and have some fun lol
her: uhhh look whos talkin ranger21. Have you ever done anything like that?
her: neglected passion? lol
me: ok ive got another question for you
her: Whats that?
me: on a scale of 1-10 how spontaneous are you and how spontaneous do you want to be
her: im pretty spontaneous as is lol, nothing like your dream but more like last minute adventures in a different city by myself instead of going home.
me: I meant a number, not a story! hah, I enjoy random adventures myself.
her: hey now! that was pretty adventorous of me lol
me: Ha, since you are so adventorous im issuing you a challange
her: oo boy what is that?
me: come to my place in xxxxx and we will go on an adventure(I actaully live an hour away and was just visitng family when I met her)
her: I would take that challenge if I wasn't working all day and didnt already have plans with a girlfriend.
me: Ok! we will just have to be adventorous another day.
her: lol K



Ok sorry for the long post, any thoughts? I'm new to the whole text game, I've always been more old school and just called them, but since she lives and hour away I decided to try texting.. she seems semi-interested? Do I not contact for a few days and see if she initiates at all?
Thanks!
Author:  RiRi [ Tue Aug 20, 2013 4:44 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Critique it: Text Game
She's not interested at all.

You were too excited about the texting and pushed the conversation too far. She started getting a creepy vibe from you when you said she was in a dream of yours.

As soon as she said shes isnt as spontaneous as you are, that was a sign for you to get out. Your attempt at qualifying her failed pretty hard. Not good seeing "no lol" to any answer.

The good news is, you fucking did it. You went all out and applied your knowledge, now adjust your style a little bit and tone down the excitement in your posts. You don't want to be leading a conversation to that extent because you are basically running on a treadmill of your own desperate texts. She will sense desperation and how you are kind of going out of your way to do a routine on her. Girls aren't stupid.

Let this one go, she's not interested (based on the information you've provided). But use it as a learning experience. Take her somewhere other than your own house, stop looking desperate while texting (less "!" please). It's a good start, keep adjusting!

Good luck man.
Author:  TheFury [ Tue Aug 20, 2013 2:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Critique it: Text Game
opener was pretty good... is that from magnetic messaging? but you took it too far... get to the point earlier, don't stack games/openers when texting. I would leave the dream description much more vague, don't even get into what it was, just get from there to seeing if she has any fun plans for the week and asking her to meet up.
Author:  wingintyme [ Tue Aug 20, 2013 3:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Critique it: Text Game
these guys are accurate in their answers. You sound a bit creepy and like a needy sociopath in your texts. The first point when I think you went wrong if you brought her back to your parents house is invite her to go out the next night to basically meet your buddies. At that point she was most likely not interested in meeting your buddies, just hanging with you. If you have to have your buddies as a crutch when starting a date out, you aren't ready for a woman her caliber. Also I don't know how old you or her are but bringing her back to your parents is putting you behind the 8-ball. It may have been best to mention you had your own place an hour away even if you weren't taking her there that night. She said something later in the texts that suggests she would do that type of thing.

to get to your text routine, you are getting in a real bad direction when you said "pretty intense and vivid" and her answer was "ummm ok". I think you are teasing too long. She's probably starting to lose interest in you at that point although I think you may have done ok at picking it back up. I think she's probably semi-interested in you to have gone home with you and invested as much time in the texts as she did. But she's putting off your invite to go out which is pretty normal when a woman is on the proverbial fence with a guy, and it sounds like you have no idea how to handle that.
Author:  fishnwomen [ Tue Aug 20, 2013 7:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Critique it: Text Game
This is GREAT texting game for AFTER you bed her, but it is pretty needy and a little creepy before that point. Texting should only be used as a bridge to continue to conversation, not build rapport, and definitely not to seduce. After you have sex with her, keeping a playful conversation like this is fine.
Author:  Ranger21 [ Wed Aug 21, 2013 12:49 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Critique it: Text Game
Quote:
This is GREAT texting game for AFTER you bed her, but it is pretty needy and a little creepy before that point. Texting should only be used as a bridge to continue to conversation, not build rapport, and definitely not to seduce. After you have sex with her, keeping a playful conversation like this is fine.
Looking back over it I definitely came across creepy, needy, and desperate. I probably should have just skipped the whole routine all together. Since I was able to secure a k-close and number-close there must have been some attraction there? And i probably could have asked her what her plans were for the week and asked her out. Instead of going through the whole routine.
Author:  Ranger21 [ Wed Aug 21, 2013 1:08 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Critique it: Text Game
Quote:
these guys are accurate in their answers. You sound a bit creepy and like a needy sociopath in your texts.
You got all that from one short post? Damn you're good haha. But you're right I can be needy and creepy at times its the one area I am trying really hard to improve my self at. I am really good with openers and initiating contact and getting them somewhat interested its just after that where I fail hard. I either A: Escalate too quickly and come across as desperate and needy or B: Don't escalate soon enough and get friend zoned. So I need to switch up my style and find a happy medium.
Quote:
The first point when I think you went wrong if you brought her back to your parents house is invite her to go out the next night to basically meet your buddies. At that point she was most likely not interested in meeting your buddies, just hanging with you.
If you have to have your buddies as a crutch when starting a date out,
She acutally knows my buddies and thats how I had met her, We actually both went to the same highschool and graduated a year or two apart, I had never met her or made contact with her before up until that night. One of my buddies actually just got done having a thing with her, apparently he stopped because she got to attached way to quickly, she actually approached a buddy of mine and asked if he would hook her up with one of his friends. (if that makes sense haha) and thats kind of where I stepped in.
Quote:
you aren't ready for a woman her caliber.
I can't disagree with you their, The girls I have f-closed, the best was a 7 at best. and they were all one night stands
Quote:
Also I don't know how old you or her are but bringing her back to your parents is putting you behind the 8-ball. It may have been best to mention you had your own place an hour away even if you weren't taking her there that night. She said something later in the texts that suggests she would do that type of thing.

23, and I agree I'm not sure what I was thinking there. She did know I have a place an hour away, she graduated with one of my roomates and they both chatted that night.
Quote:
But she's putting off your invite to go out which is pretty normal when a woman is on the proverbial fence with a guy, and it sounds like you have no idea how to handle that.
Right, when she said she would come but had to work all day and had plans with another friend I took that as a nice way of saying no. If she was interested she might have suggested a different day? Part of me also thinks she may be alittle interested still, her replies weren't necessarily short or one worded, she was putting some effort in? I don't think she is interested enough to make the hour drive up to visit me but if I go back to visit family she might be interested to meet up?
And you're right I have no idea how to handle it, which is why I came here for help. I'm going to use this as a learning experience and make sure I don't make these same mistakes again.
Author:  OptimacyLLC [ Wed Aug 21, 2013 2:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Critique it: Text Game
I think you've received some decent feedback already, but I want to mention some macro issues involved here.

Before I even read your texts, I was able to come to a similar conclusion as others.

How I did do it?

First, if you look at your texts, almost all of your texts are longer than hers. This is a big no-no and signals too much desperation.

Second, your entire text conversation was too long, which also signals desperation.

Here are some macro tips that will help you - not just with this girl - but in future text endeavors. (These apply mainly to girls you don't know well and ones you are trying to game.)

1. Keep your texts short and sweet. Usually 3-4 words and never more than 1 sentence.

2. NEVER send a second text without a reply to your previous.

3. NEVER reply immediately to her text. If you don't have good intuition, here is a good rule of thumb. See how long she took to reply to YOUR text and double it. If she replied immediately, then wait a minute or two.

4. Be the person to end the conversation FIRST! You NEVER want to be the person who STARTED the text exchange and then the last one hanging at the end.

5. Keep the entire conversation brief. You don't have to squeeze an opener, flirting, and close ALL into one text conversation. You could have easily just done the dream thing and waited a few days.

We have tons more tips and examples of good text exchanges, as well as tips for correcting these mistakes. However, I can't re-write everything in this post, and they don't allow links in the body of posts either.

The good news is I don't think you totally sabotaged things with this girl. These tips should help you going forward, but if you need more specific help, just PM me.

Good luck!
Author:  Ranger21 [ Mon Sep 02, 2013 9:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Critique it: Text Game
UPDATE:

So A few days had past after this conversation and I decided to hit her up one last time I figured I've got nothing to lose right? I don't have the text conversation, I ended up deleting it but I keep it short and sweet and too the point. Basically I invited her and her girlfriend up to go out for a big celebration that was going on in town. Her response was "ummm idk bought that" After that response I figured she wasn't interested at all So I didn't respond. 5 hours later I get a text from her correcting herself saying bout*. That kind of confused me, why the hell would she take the time to correct herself if she wasn't interested? So again I just ignored it.

So fast forward to two nights ago, I get a text from her at 2:45 am saying Hey, How have you been? And then 45 minutes later a phone call from her at 3:30 am! Wtf lol. I didn't call her back or respond until the next day here's the convo.

me: Someone was up late last night. I've been pretty good, how about you?
her: uugghhh yes lol
me: alittle hungover today? lol
her: not really lol
me: perfect, lets have a sunday funday
her: haha im in xxxxxx
her: what are you up to?
me: just having a funday on a sunday
her: haha where?
me: do you work or anything tomorrow? if not come have a sunday funday with us in xxxxxx
her: I don't actually, i have my dogs to watch though
me: Thats fine bring them with. What kind of dogs are they?
her: are you sure? they're two labs
her: I'll think about it. Im supposed to hang out with xxxxx, I think she knows you
me: yeah it would be alright for the dogs to come
her: let me think about it. im gonna take a nap when i'm done eating
her: what are you you guys doing up there?
me: were going to hit up a few of the bars they've got some specials going on
her: oh nice! is xxx going? ( a friend of hers that I live with)
me: oh yes
her: hmmmm
her: I'll think about it ranger21!
me: sounds good just let me know
her: okie dokie
her: I just woke up lol
me: feeling refreshed? and ready for a funday lol
her: haha ahhh sounds like fun but im soo lazy, I don't want to drive
me: Im dissapointed, I really wanted to hang out with your dogs lol
her: lol i'm very sorry
me: The night is still young so if you change your mind, let me know
her: Sounds good! I'll definetely let you know

That was our convo from last night
then she texted me again today

her: I just seen your video on youtube
me: and did you enjoy it? lol
her: I literally laughed my ass of lol
me: haha what are you up to today? I'll actually be in xxx for a few hours later
her: not much actuall, I'll be around until noon tomorrow
me: perfect lets do something later
her: ya for sure! I think xxx, xxx, and I are going to xxx for some drinks (her and two other guys)
her: you want to come with?
me: yeah what time?
her: im not positive, Im going back to xxxx's in a bit so i'll ask him when i get there.
her: I think around 530-6ish

I haven't repsonded yet. Because I'm not really interested in going out with her and two other guys, I do know the other two Im just not that great of friends with them. I thought about saying I would go then canceling at the last minute because shes kind of done that to me twice now.

Do you guys have any more opinions on this? I'd love to hear them and learn from this experience more.
Author:  TheFury [ Mon Sep 02, 2013 9:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Critique it: Text Game
Too needy man. You asked her to come over early which was good but then you kept going on and on about this sunday funday like 10 messages in a row. She got that you wanted her to come hang out on sunday. Bringing it up over and over makes you come off as desperate. To be honest though, it just seems like she isn't interested from something before this latest exchange so not sure it really mattered in the end what you did here.
Author:  Ranger21 [ Mon Sep 02, 2013 10:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Critique it: Text Game
Quote:
Too needy man. You asked her to come over early which was good but then you kept going on and on about this sunday funday like 10 messages in a row. She got that you wanted her to come hang out on sunday. Bringing it up over and over makes you come off as desperate. To be honest though, it just seems like she isn't interested from something before this latest exchange so not sure it really mattered in the end what you did here.
Yeah the sunday funday thing three times in a row sounds desperate. How can I work on this and not come across so needy? If she wasn't interested before this latest exchange why the text and call at 3am?
Thanks for the reply

she just called me a few minutes ago, I didn't answer. I texted her back

me:let me know when you're there and I'll meet up with you guys
her: sounds good
her: having one more drink at xxxx's then heading there, just come over to xxxx's
Author:  Ranger21 [ Tue Sep 03, 2013 12:51 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Critique it: Text Game
Continued conversation:

her: just got to xxxx
her: are you coming?
her: ranger21!?!?!?

She also called once, I have yet to respond.... Should I? 4 texts in a row and a phone call just makes me think there's some interest there
Author:  The Alien Elite [ Tue Sep 03, 2013 1:14 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Critique it: Text Game
Dude just go....but when youre there, ignore her and game other girls till she comes around :)
Author:  n2thevoid [ Tue Sep 03, 2013 8:33 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Critique it: Text Game
Very blah playing it safe. Take a bit of risk, escalate a little. If she bites keep going, if not then re-calibrate and escalate again.
Author:  AFCToTheMax [ Tue Sep 03, 2013 1:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Critique it: Text Game
Basically she is not interested in you. At all. She turned you down 100 times. She wants to hang out with you AND her friends. You are her friend only.

So I recommend to just forget her
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