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BF Destroyer?
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Author:  tru3demon [ Fri Aug 16, 2013 4:57 pm ]
Post subject:  BF Destroyer?

Met this girl at my place of work and really hit it off but couldn't get her number cause I would have been fired so I let her walk away. 2 weeks later, I am working out and she walks into the gym. She comes over and says aren't you that guy and I say yes. We continue to chat for about an hour instead of working out (that bitch. I need my pump) and I get her number and we schedule to meet up the next day and have a workout together. We text the rest of that day and the next day we have a killer workout, lots of sweat and she was laughing the whole time. She said it was the most fun she had had at the gym in forever.

I tell her before we each leave to go to our respective places of work that I am going on vacation for 2 weeks, which is true I leave today. She replies "awe, that sucks" and I say "for you maybe. Try not to miss me too much" and she says "I'll try!" and leaves. 6 hours later I get this text (word for word):

"Hey, sorry I've been thinking all day on this...The workout was totally fun, but I am dating someone...I just don't think that he would like, or approve of me working out with another guy."

To which I replied: "Hey I appreciate the message. I can completely understand where he is coming from. He must be a pretty perfect guy with broad shoulders and dark eyes and buys you lots of gifts for you to be with him! I will respect your choice. If you ever want a friendly training partner for a day, give me a shout girl. Thanks for the fun gym sessions!"

She replied: "Hahaha he's really not...I have only seen him 3 times this summer with how busy we both are (to which I thought "I was able to hang out with you the next day after I met you....and you're too busy to see your BF?") He doesn't give me gifts because I don't like them (?). For sure I will, you as well haha. And no problem, it was a lot of fun!"

I have not replied and that was yesterday morning. Not sure whether the bf is a true story or she is just making it up so I don't talk to her anymore. Maybe it didn't go that well for her? If it is true, how do I attack this? She is very attractive and we get along so well. Do I text her on my vacation with a picture saying "look what you're missing out on!" and then work on her while the relationship of her and her bf is weak? Or do I just wait for her to text me first and pounce?

Thanks guys!

Author:  MrLDN93 [ Fri Aug 16, 2013 5:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: BF Destroyer?

Interesting read True3,

Good reply to the message I think that was spot on. The way I would play it, semi freeze out and bit of NLP.

"You've only seen him three times? Ask yourself *insert girls name* (I have been using names alot recently. I feel it provides deeper connection) do you have as much fun with him as you did with me today? If your being honest with yourself probably not (cocky funny/know your value here dude your the man!!) I know if I was seeing somebody I liked i would want to see them more than 3 times over summer. Anyway Im gonna sort all my stuff out for holiday. Speak soon x

Author:  LD [ Fri Aug 16, 2013 10:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: BF Destroyer?

Quote:
Interesting read True3,

Good reply to the message I think that was spot on. The way I would play it, semi freeze out and bit of NLP.

"You've only seen him three times? Ask yourself *insert girls name* (I have been using names alot recently. I feel it provides deeper connection) do you have as much fun with him as you did with me today? If your being honest with yourself probably not (cocky funny/know your value here dude your the man!!) I know if I was seeing somebody I liked i would want to see them more than 3 times over summer. Anyway Im gonna sort all my stuff out for holiday. Speak soon x
Hey guys,

first, without offense, do not do the above. it is way too obvious manipulating. I believe that the OP is going to hit a barrier when taking this way.

I think the text reply of the OP was not such a good one. I mean, it is good, but you left out a very important part: what you want.
Its good that you said how you felt about the situation, you had fun, it was special, great! It is not because she says she is not available that you cannot tell her what you want.

Let me give an example of a reply that I think would have been better:

Hey, I appreciate the message. I will respect your choice, although I think its too bad as I really had a great time! I think you are fun and kinda sexy and I would have wanted to get to know you better. Anyway, if you ever want a friendly training partner for a day, let me know! See you later!

In any case, dont break your mind trying to figure out if she lied about the other guy or not. It doesnt matter. Except telling her what you would have wanted, there is nothing more you can do. You are in an all-or-nothing situation, so even if you dont like direct game, you have nothing to lose if you just state what you would have wanted.

Life is the weather mate, today its cloudy and people stay inside, tomorrow the sun can shine and everybody comes out. Things change and nothing lasts forever. If she really had fun with you (and i think she did) she will remember. The situation with the other guy can change in an instant.

I do think there is still something you can try though. i would NOT send a text with a picture saying: look what you are missing out on. She wasnt going on that trip anyway, so there really is not point and it shows that you were not that sincere in the text you sent the other day saying you respect her choice. BUT... she blatently shows you that there are cracks in the foundation with other guy. So, after your holiday, when moment itself has been dulled, you can send her a text, someting like this:

Hey. Just back from holiday! I have been thinking a lot while i was away. I think you are fun and sexy/cute/whatever comes in your mind and I think its sad that I cant get to know you better. Because i really would have wanted to! Oh well, see you later!

Something like that. The moment itself will have been dulled, but the feelings behind it will not. She might respond or she might not, but after what she has been telling you, I bet she will respond. If she does, just be the fun guy you have been. Never openly discredit the other guy, dont ever mention him when unless she starts, just connect to her. I think she is a connection type of woman. If you can connect and be a lot of fun, I still think you have a chance.

I hope it helped. This is ofcourse only my opinion, i might be terribly, terribly wrong here.
anyway, good luck!

cheers!

Author:  Dragula [ Fri Aug 16, 2013 10:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: BF Destroyer?

No.

Boyfriend destroyers are myths.

Don't waste your time trying to fuck girls that are probably not gonna fuck you no matter how slick your routines are.

Author:  LD [ Sat Aug 17, 2013 10:26 am ]
Post subject:  Re: BF Destroyer?

I dont fully agree with the above post.

I think there is a more then average chance to get this particular girl. She doesnt seem all to happy with her situation, even though the guys she is dating might be a champ. If it would be so that she found the love of her life, she wouldnt 'complain' like she did in the text. I wouldnt go as far as actively trying to sabotage the 'dating' thing, but like i said in my before post, I would throw out the proverbial bait, tell her what i would have wanted and see what she is going to do. All you can do in this case is entice and see if she bites.

Author:  textytext [ Sun Jan 26, 2014 7:24 am ]
Post subject:  Re: BF Destroyer?

This reply is late for the original poster. However, anyone interested in this scenario later, i will add the following:
LD is right about what the original reply should have been. that way you put the choice out there and you don't have to worry later. He is also right about people and situations changing all the time. Thus, a follow-up text later on down the road won't hurt you.
However, I do not think you should be as direct and involved with your follow-up text if considerable time has past (even a month). You should start really simple. Just a simple "Hey, (whatever name is)". A reply or not will tell you all information you need to know. It will say whether she remembers you and if you had an impact on her. If she responds positively, take it from there. Ask her out to your gym or something friendly. If she replies like she doesn't know who you are, then she deleted your number or forgot you. You can take that as a sign that the moment has past and let it go. Also, you have the option to remind her if you really want too, but don't get your hopes up. If you remind her and she responds positively, ask her to meet you/hangout whatever. If she doesn't respond with enthusiasm just let it go. do not even reply further. Once you ask her out she will either still be involved and reject you (then let it go and delete info) or she will meet you (then take it from there).

Author:  CyberTiger [ Sun Jan 26, 2014 8:37 am ]
Post subject:  Re: BF Destroyer?

Quote:
This reply is late for the original poster...
You even admit it don't you have any shame?! D:
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