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crazy bout each other, but this pushed me to break up.
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Author:  Kravous [ Fri Aug 16, 2013 3:42 pm ]
Post subject:  crazy bout each other, but this pushed me to break up.
Hey everyone and welcome to my little piece of drama.

My girlfriend , now ex HB9 (I'll refer to her as Caroline) is a real stubborn and cold girl. She's had a rough past when it comes to relationships.. But you can't stay broken, you gotta find a way to fix yourself eventually.

With that being said, she doesn't have alot of girlfriends, there are way more guys in her life.
Alot of them want to fuck her & they text her all the time. I'm 'OKAY' with that since she chose me over them afterall.
We do discuss the subject ocasionally that I don't like it that she keeps replying to those guys, she doesn't even like them but keeps replying. So in other words, she loves the attention.
So caroline slept over yesterday, and in the middle of the night, some chick texts me. I can tell that Caroline is irritated.. Wich surprised me cause she gets texts all the time from single guys. So I told her as I was laughing 'what's up? you're getting texts from single guys all the time, are u gonna get mad about this?' to wich she replies 'No i dont care do what you want'

May I point out that alot of girls are attracted to me, just as alot of guys are attracted to Caroline. The difference between me and her is, when a girl texts me, i tell her that i'm with my girlfriend to completely blank them out. Unlike Caroline she would be like 'Hey what's up' etc, standard chit chat. I STILL DONT MIND. (ok a little, cuz all they want to do is get in her pants & she acts like she doesn't know it)

Next morning I drop her off at her work, everything was good, lil kiss goodbye.. 'love ya' you know.. the standard stuff. We promised each other to have a special night that day, so I texted her at what hour she could come. Hours later she replied with 'go with that girl that texted you this night! have fun!!!'

Then I got mad, she NEVER discusses these things with me IRL, she always does it through a text or a facebook status. AND on top of that she gets texts from guys 24/7! I called her phone and left her a voicemail cuz she didn't want to answer the phone. What I said was; 'you look me dead in the eye, promised we would see each other tonight, kiss me goodbye.. while u where just waiting for me to leave so you could TEXT me this issue? *raise voice* while you get texts all the fucking time from guys?? are you not coming tonight? then we are fucking done.'

I know I shouldn't get mad but I have to put my foot down, no? she's playing with my head. I'm breaking contact now but I know she will text me something like 'have fun with your girlfriends!' cuz that's the type of chick she is, she pushes buttons. I know she's crazy about me and the feeling is likewise. but she's playin games with me and i won't fucking have it. not these type of games anyway.

how am I handling this? Did I make the right move?
Author:  fishnwomen [ Fri Aug 16, 2013 4:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: crazy bout each other, but this pushed me to break up.
You were good until the last line. If you wanted her to come over that night, then you should have said that it is time to have an honest discussion in it later that night. Yes, she's wrong and hypocritical, but you seemed a little hasty to end it.
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Fri Aug 16, 2013 4:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: crazy bout each other, but this pushed me to break up.
Men like bears are normally gentle by nature unless provoked. We behave kindly towards others even though, in a certain state of nature, we would smash them to death in anger with one giant paw. I as a Man expect others to treat me with dignity. When they choose not to, I hurt them. This is true of women who shit test me.

And Bro this is just another shit test.

I don’t use physical violence or any thing stupid like that. I rarely even raise my voice. As we live in a self-esteem based society, you can shut down her 'Queenly" ego faster and more effectively than smacking her. Words and your dignity are your weapons.
Quote:
'go with that girl that texted you this night! have fun!!!'
I would have calmly replied 'Thanks, I hear she fucks WAY better than you anyway!'

Then follow up with anything she says with "Now stop acting like a spoiled child, or I will!" and follow through with your promises.
Author:  Pickwick [ Fri Aug 16, 2013 5:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: crazy bout each other, but this pushed me to break up.
It was a shit test as Heywood said, but you handled it well in your own sense. If I wanted to stick with her I would have just ignored the response- she's just trying to get a reaction out of you, and wouls have said something again once the time to chill was coming up. You gotta either calibrate her shit or do what you have to do with kids and consciously ignore it at times, especially over texts.

Or you coulda rolled with what Heywood said, which is typically the best thing you can do. You didn't start kissing her ass but just flipped, which is better than sucking on her ego. Either way, let us know what she says.
Author:  Kravous [ Fri Aug 16, 2013 7:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: crazy bout each other, but this pushed me to break up.
Heywood, that's brilliant.. If only I had the nuts to say that to her.. sadly..NOT the case.
If she would have recieved that text I think she would either:

A: come at me with a knife.
B: fuck the first guy she meets as revenge.

thanks for the replies lads, she said SORRY.

'And i'm sorry for my behavior, I admit it was over the top :S i just don't want to lose you, I got jealous'

are the exact words she said if you where wondering. To wich I replied 'that's exactly how I feel when they text you.'

Anyway, we're good :) for now.
Author:  n2thevoid [ Sat Aug 17, 2013 7:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: crazy bout each other, but this pushed me to break up.
Sounds like she's taken the passive aggressive route to airing any grievances/issues she has in the relationship. Is there anything you've done that could possibly make her feel unsafe in bringing things up to you directly as they come?

Gettng mad is one thing, not dealing with things construtively is another altogether. You guys need to build safety in the rel and that comes through open and honest dialogue, rather than allowing things to fester and explode into emotional ugiliness. If you dont take the intiative in dealing with this now it'll happen again in some other form.
Author:  Kravous [ Sun Aug 18, 2013 2:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: crazy bout each other, but this pushed me to break up.
hey n2thevoid,

She's just very closed, I've tried to talk to her about our situation and its me doing most of the talking where she just stares and nods. She's cold as fuck.

Later she would appologise in a text saying what she wanted to say. I think she's afraid to say the wrong thing? Her ex was pretty aggressive. I don't know.. anyway she keeps saying she doesn't want to lose me. She's just not ready to open herself up to me.

Anyway right now we are not together, we're friends with benefits who are madly in love with each other.
What a love story right? -.-

She just needs time.
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