PUA Forum
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/

My $100 Bet To Lose My Virginity By The End Of Summer
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=166627		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  80DaysOfChallenge [ Thu Aug 01, 2013 7:21 pm ]
Post subject:  My $100 Bet To Lose My Virginity By The End Of Summer
End Of Summer Night Dream

Intro

Hello everyone. I'm a 21 year old from Utah that's looking to lose my virginity. Things have been tough but I honestly don't know why I have not lost it already. I've made it a long way from where I was, but I can't seem to reach this next milestone. My theory is that it's a combination of a few different problems in my social behavior that have kept me from getting there (I'll go into the details a bit later).

The Challenge

In order to better help me focus and be more determined I have made a bet with my bestfriend that if I don't lose my V card by the end of summer I will give him a $100. This bet started July 2nd. As of now it's been 30 days. I have 50 days to go.

Why Am I Writing This.

I'm writing this because I know that there is value to be found in what you guys have to say. I've been lurking here for awhile and think this community is really great. I've been wanting to get more involved and decided to start by writing this request for help.

Bio

A bit about myself, I live in Provo Utah. I live in student housing, though I'm not a student. I work full time and make decent money. I'm an exMormon atheist. My personality could be summarized with Myers Briggs typology, I'm an ENTP. Basically I'm an outgoing and creative intellectual.

My Sticking Points

1. Logistics
For years my logistics were really, really bad. I did not have a car and I did not really have a place to take a girl or throw events. When I got my job I moved to the other side of the valley and out of my parents house; this made things a lot better. However, I still have some work to do: I still need a car and driver’s license.

2. Taking things to the next level.
I was home schooled for a majority of my school career. Though my parents thankfully were very active in making sure that I was social. I was in a lot of clubs which helped develop my social skills. Though I did grow up talking to girls in these groups, it did not lead to any meaningful interaction. So all my friends growing up outside of these clubs were guys that I met in church, scouts, or homeschooling. I would just hang out with guy friends, which were all nerdy, not good with women, and all have little or no female friends. Because of these restraints, I’ve had difficulty escalating things beyond conversation and obtaining phone numbers.

As I mentioned before I'm an ex Mormon. I grew up in the church and was very active for a long time. I was not interested in dating for a long time because I was told to date for marriage and that I should only consider marriage after a mission, so why date before a mission? For this reason I was not interested in seeking relations with women for a long time.

This combination of reasons caused a time in my life where I did not have any meaningful interactions with women. This has lead me to play catch up in my social skills with women. For this reason I'm still working on the skill of taking things to that level of relationship or sexual interaction. I'm quite reserved and conservative in moving things forward.

3. Losing interest
As part of my personality, I tend to move from one thing to another quickly. I have a hard time being proactive in even trying to move things forward. An example of this in action is when I get a girls number I tend to have less interest on continuing non face-to-face interactions than what I'm working on in that moment. I'll have something going for me with a girl and although I want to take action on that opportunity I tend to be lackluster in my attempts to do so. And yes I'm straight... :)

What I Have Going For Me

The thing about it that's the most frustrating is that I'm in a situation to have tons of success. I have almost everything going for me, I'm smart, funny, confident, talented, and good looking. I just feel like I should be having more success than I am. I have tons of talents that I can exploit to get things going. I'm not saying this to toot my own horn, I just want you guys to know that besides my problems I have somethings going for me that we can exploit.

My experiences

I've had two makeouts, both at dance clubs with random girls I never saw again.

I've had several 2+ hour conversations with attractive women I've met just walking around on the street.

I once just walked around town and campus and got 25 numbers in a day. Also I got 10 numbers when I was at a party.

What I Know

When it comes to dating science I know a lot. I read the game when I was very young and started consuming massive amounts of information on the subject. I took my action when I could but the biggest thing holding me back was the logistics. I don't consider myself a pua, and took a step back from study though still I’m working on my social life. Right now I follow Adam Lyons philosophies almost exclusively. I'm willing to learn new things as always, but any advice needs to mesh with or be better than what I'm already doing.

What I'm Doing Now

I'm taking a lot of action. I put a lot of study into psychology and dating science, working on perfecting my social mannerisms. I've been a lurker on here for years stopping by every once and awhile. Mostly my study takes place on my lonesome - this is my first time doing something like this.

Around three months ago I started the challenge that I was going to talk to 3 people every day for 4 weeks. I did it and continued to do it after the completion with only missing a few days. I stopped around 3 weeks ago out of a productivity crash and putting more focus on online dating. On average, in that last few months I've been really active in putting myself out there and getting in my practice. I've had a lot of initial successful interactions but none really went anywhere. I've also been trying my hand with online dating. Mostly on Okcupid and Tinder.

Conclusion

I know that it's kinda long but I wanted to give you guys as much initial information as possible. I'll be active in participating on the thread, so feel free to ask any questions. Any help would be much appreciated, and would not go to waste.

3 years ago I came on here and announced that I got my first kiss. In less than 50 days I will come on here and announce that I lost my virginity.
Author:  skills360 [ Fri Aug 02, 2013 3:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: My $100 Bet To Lose My Virginity By The End Of Summer
Stupid ass bet, it will delay the process, cause now you are to outcome dependent. And trying to fuck a girl for the wrong reasons, a bet.
Author:  80DaysOfChallenge [ Fri Aug 02, 2013 9:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: My $100 Bet To Lose My Virginity By The End Of Summer
That might be true skills. I'm curious to know why you think being outcome dependent delays the process.

As far as reasons. It's not like the bet completely overwrote the more natural reasons of having sex with a girl. Reasons such as expressing sexuality, having a complete social life, health benefits and Maslow's hierarchy etc. Those are still there, it's not like they disappeared. But now I have the bet on top of it that which adds more focus and motivation. Money is not my reason to have sex, money is the motivation to have sex within the time frame. That's how I understand it, but maybe if you explain a bit more I would be able to understand what you're getting at.

I wonder if you could expound on your point further?
Author:  Jay (Majik) [ Fri Aug 02, 2013 10:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: My $100 Bet To Lose My Virginity By The End Of Summer
Quote:
That might be true skills. I'm curious to know why you think being outcome dependent delays the process.

As far as reasons. It's not like the bet completely overwrote the more natural reasons of having sex with a girl. Reasons such as expressing sexuality, having a complete social life, health benefits and Maslow's hierarchy etc. Those are still there, it's not like they disappeared. But now I have the bet on top of it that which adds more focus and motivation. Money is not my reason to have sex, money is the motivation to have sex within the time frame. That's how I understand it, but maybe if you explain a bit more I would be able to understand what you're getting at.

I wonder if you could expound on your point further?
Your outcome dependence will come from the fact that you are now trying to fuck a girl so you don't lose a bet. Not because you actually want to fuck a girl. Granted, it is only 100 bucks. But fuck girls because you want to fuck girls... Not to stroke your ego or brag to your friends. Your sex life should be kept to yourself.
Author:  skills360 [ Sat Aug 03, 2013 3:03 am ]
Post subject:  Re: My $100 Bet To Lose My Virginity By The End Of Summer
Quote:
That might be true skills. I'm curious to know why you think being outcome dependent delays the process.

As far as reasons. It's not like the bet completely overwrote the more natural reasons of having sex with a girl. Reasons such as expressing sexuality, having a complete social life, health benefits and Maslow's hierarchy etc. Those are still there, it's not like they disappeared. But now I have the bet on top of it that which adds more focus and motivation. Money is not my reason to have sex, money is the motivation to have sex within the time frame. That's how I understand it, but maybe if you explain a bit more I would be able to understand what you're getting at.

I wonder if you could expound on your point further?

^ well like majikal says, but anyways if is only as an extra push is alright, just make sure you do not objectify the girl due to a bet, make it more for your desire to exchange orgasm and have an awesome time... With that being said, it could add a bit of outcome dependency, i really believe that to fuck a girl one most be willing to be able to lose the girl. Routing for you dude!
Author:  Adonis_Complex [ Sat Aug 03, 2013 5:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: My $100 Bet To Lose My Virginity By The End Of Summer
I empathize with you. I used to go BYU and live in student housing. One of my favorite memories is fucking a girl in the student housing showers. PM me, I can give you some pretty good pointers since I have been there and done that.
Author:  80DaysOfChallenge [ Sat Aug 03, 2013 10:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: My $100 Bet To Lose My Virginity By The End Of Summer
I understand that the goal is outcome dependent. You guys have made some good points. I assure that it's not to stroke my ego or for bragging rights. Only two friends know of the bet, I told them so they could help me out. Also understand that I would love to fuck a girl regardless of this bet.

I guess the reason why I'm doing this is because a few christmases ago ago I got a guitar. I wanted to learn to play, but I knew it took a lot of time. I then made a bet with myself similar to this one. When I made that bet I practiced the guitar 6 hours every day for 2 months straight, it was incredible. From there on out I started applying money goals to every goal that I have. Fear of loss is one of the biggest motivators in life. When you have it there it makes it so you can do incredible things.

It's not that I'm trying to objectify the girl. It's more to help with these type of examples. *I'm really tired from a hard day at work, I don't want to go out and talk to people so I just get on the computer and play some games. After a few hours I note that it's getting dark and the thought come up that I should be going out and talking to girls.* It's really easy to justify not going out with some excuse. but the fear of loss keeps me going out over and over again. It's a huge benefit for me with my introverted tendencies.

I'm working on some things that are a bit more lifestyle directed also. Liking 10 girls on Tinder a day, Messaging all the girls that I'm interested in online, I'm working out, I'm working on my cooking.
Quote:
fuck a girl one most be willing to be able to lose the girl.
I'm a strong believer in that too. It's just like in sales, the person with the most negotiation power is the one that cares less. I need to make sure that I have this mindset. It's hard work coming from my place of negative abundance.

Adonis
Yeah man I'll shoot you a PM. I'm too looking for those memories too. I'm thinking that there might be some subtleties that are mostly specific to Mormonville. Thanks man.


Event Worth Mentioning #1

I really thought that I was going to get laid last night. Here's the rundown:
  • The day before yesterday I messaged a girl that I found attractive on okcupid
    We messaged a bit back and forth and went to bed
    In the morning I messaged her again
    Though starting out a bit rough I continued to build comfort & break rapport
    I then start to escalate with some banter about her trying to seduce me
    Banter
    She says that she's a handful, she says that she can be crazy and times
    I ask her if this should be a red flag for me, she responds if you can't handle it
    Me: CHALLENGE ACCEPTED
    She tells me that she's likes to make out, like crazy
    I challenge her by saying "yeah? but who doesn't?" then I go on to talk about how most girls are not as good kissers as they like think they are. I ask her if she's good or bad at making out.
    She says she's crazy, "one guy said it was like sex with clothes on. I enjoy myself"
    I continue to qualify and escalate.
    Me: We should meet in person.
    Her: Hahaha I don't know! Can you handle this?
    Me: I'm confident in my abilities.
    *1 and a half wait later*
    Her "haha" (At this point I'm thinking I messed up. A sign from her lack of enthusiasm)
    Me: "I'm sorry "haha"? Is that the best you've got? Honestly did I move too fast for you? You can give it to me straight"
    Her: "I'm sorry I didn't know what to say! I am an expert conversation killer!" (back on track)
    The conversation turns to food. And I say I'm a damn good cook. and try to sent her a picture of my food though the messaging on okcupid
    She says that it does not work
    I ask her for her number.
    Her: "Send me your number I have a pic for you (:"
    *My number*
  • Over text we chat back and forth
    And she says that I should send my picture now.
    She did not know that I was sending food, and found out while it was taking forever to send.
    She said that she prepared a mirror selfy and she's glad that she did not send hers first.
    We exchange snapchats and I send my picture that way.
    She says "Uhhh yum!"
    Me: "I'll say the same thing about my selfy. *send image, she screenshots it*
    We snap chatted 2 more times with silly pictures she sent me a joke picture I had the perfect comeback and she said she was "dying of laughter" (Points for me)
    I ask her for her picture.
    She plays dumb and says does not know what I'm talking about.
    Me: don't play games with me. :) You says you had a picture you wanted to show me.
    Her Well that's before I knew it was food!
    Me: I sent you a selfy silly
    Her: I have to tell you I have a tattoo
    Me: I love tattoos
    *She sent a picture of her in her underwear*
    Me You look fantastic! You're really spontaneous, outgoing and fee. That's what i love about you.
    Her: hahaha well thanks (:
    Her: Turn off?
    Me: Turn on.
    Her: Not too curvy for you? (When I first messaged her I seen that it said she was curvy on her profile. I continued anyway because she did not look it. It also said that she's a instructor for pole dancing. I thought me had to be fit to do that. She looks like she had a few extra pounds, but nothing real bad.)
    Me: Nope, you look great. By the way your breast are great too. ;)
    Her: No my last boyfriend constantly told me to lose 10 pounds
Now this is where things get weird. I really did not know what to do. so I came up with some texts that I sent her. Looking back now I would have liked to send something far different.
The texts are quite long so I'll just make a summary: I don't care what your ex says, you're fighting me after I said that you look great. If your body looks like it does in the picture then we are golden. If I did not find you attractive then why am I tidying up my apartment for when you come over? Excuse me for being so bold, but that's what I want, and we're on our way to get there, I have some acne scars, are you find with that? (mistake, I was trying to say that I have some insecurities too)
  • She says she's confused and asks a bunch of questions and I give even more explanations of what I meant.
    Her: ohhh okay! I was lost! I'm caught up now!
    Me: I want to change subjects. Was I was moving too fast for you?
    Her: No. What are you doing tonight?
    Me Just chilling out, so happy the weekend's here. Where do you live?
    Her" *location* why?
    Me: You hungry? If you're not busy you should come over.
    Her: where do you live?
    Me: *location*
    Her: oh yea I know where that is! Do you have a roommate or friend with you?
    Me: I have the whole place to myself
    Her: Oh bummer...I'm with my friend ): I was just gonna bring her but nvm
    Me: That's a shame. You should stick with her in that case. I don't want to interrupt and be a home breaker or anything.
That was our last communication we have had since last night.

I'm thinking that I'm just going to wait till she messages me.

Sorry for the length. Thanks guys for everything. I'll keep you guys updated!
Author:  skills360 [ Sun Aug 04, 2013 1:08 am ]
Post subject:  Re: My $100 Bet To Lose My Virginity By The End Of Summer
Quote:
I understand that the goal is outcome dependent. You guys have made some good points. I assure that it's not to stroke my ego or for bragging rights. Only two friends know of the bet, I told them so they could help me out. Also understand that I would love to fuck a girl regardless of this bet.

I guess the reason why I'm doing this is because a few christmases ago ago I got a guitar. I wanted to learn to play, but I knew it took a lot of time. I then made a bet with myself similar to this one. When I made that bet I practiced the guitar 6 hours every day for 2 months straight, it was incredible. From there on out I started applying money goals to every goal that I have. Fear of loss is one of the biggest motivators in life. When you have it there it makes it so you can do incredible things.

It's not that I'm trying to objectify the girl. It's more to help with these type of examples. *I'm really tired from a hard day at work, I don't want to go out and talk to people so I just get on the computer and play some games. After a few hours I note that it's getting dark and the thought come up that I should be going out and talking to girls.* It's really easy to justify not going out with some excuse. but the fear of loss keeps me going out over and over again. It's a huge benefit for me with my introverted tendencies.

I'm working on some things that are a bit more lifestyle directed also. Liking 10 girls on Tinder a day, Messaging all the girls that I'm interested in online, I'm working out, I'm working on my cooking.
Quote:
fuck a girl one most be willing to be able to lose the girl.
I'm a strong believer in that too. It's just like in sales, the person with the most negotiation power is the one that cares less. I need to make sure that I have this mindset. It's hard work coming from my place of negative abundance.

Adonis
Yeah man I'll shoot you a PM. I'm too looking for those memories too. I'm thinking that there might be some subtleties that are mostly specific to Mormonville. Thanks man.


Event Worth Mentioning #1

I really thought that I was going to get laid last night. Here's the rundown:
  • The day before yesterday I messaged a girl that I found attractive on okcupid
    We messaged a bit back and forth and went to bed
    In the morning I messaged her again
    Though starting out a bit rough I continued to build comfort & break rapport
    I then start to escalate with some banter about her trying to seduce me
    Banter
    She says that she's a handful, she says that she can be crazy and times
    I ask her if this should be a red flag for me, she responds if you can't handle it
    Me: CHALLENGE ACCEPTED
    She tells me that she's likes to make out, like crazy
    I challenge her by saying "yeah? but who doesn't?" then I go on to talk about how most girls are not as good kissers as they like think they are. I ask her if she's good or bad at making out.
    She says she's crazy, "one guy said it was like sex with clothes on. I enjoy myself"
    I continue to qualify and escalate.
    Me: We should meet in person.
    Her: Hahaha I don't know! Can you handle this?
    Me: I'm confident in my abilities.
    *1 and a half wait later*
    Her "haha" (At this point I'm thinking I messed up. A sign from her lack of enthusiasm)
    Me: "I'm sorry "haha"? Is that the best you've got? Honestly did I move too fast for you? You can give it to me straight"
    Her: "I'm sorry I didn't know what to say! I am an expert conversation killer!" (back on track)
    The conversation turns to food. And I say I'm a damn good cook. and try to sent her a picture of my food though the messaging on okcupid
    She says that it does not work
    I ask her for her number.
    Her: "Send me your number I have a pic for you (:"
    *My number*
  • Over text we chat back and forth
    And she says that I should send my picture now.
    She did not know that I was sending food, and found out while it was taking forever to send.
    She said that she prepared a mirror selfy and she's glad that she did not send hers first.
    We exchange snapchats and I send my picture that way.
    She says "Uhhh yum!"
    Me: "I'll say the same thing about my selfy. *send image, she screenshots it*
    We snap chatted 2 more times with silly pictures she sent me a joke picture I had the perfect comeback and she said she was "dying of laughter" (Points for me)
    I ask her for her picture.
    She plays dumb and says does not know what I'm talking about.
    Me: don't play games with me. :) You says you had a picture you wanted to show me.
    Her Well that's before I knew it was food!
    Me: I sent you a selfy silly
    Her: I have to tell you I have a tattoo
    Me: I love tattoos
    *She sent a picture of her in her underwear*
    Me You look fantastic! You're really spontaneous, outgoing and fee. That's what i love about you.
    Her: hahaha well thanks (:
    Her: Turn off?
    Me: Turn on.
    Her: Not too curvy for you? (When I first messaged her I seen that it said she was curvy on her profile. I continued anyway because she did not look it. It also said that she's a instructor for pole dancing. I thought me had to be fit to do that. She looks like she had a few extra pounds, but nothing real bad.)
    Me: Nope, you look great. By the way your breast are great too. ;)
    Her: No my last boyfriend constantly told me to lose 10 pounds
Now this is where things get weird. I really did not know what to do. so I came up with some texts that I sent her. Looking back now I would have liked to send something far different.
The texts are quite long so I'll just make a summary: I don't care what your ex says, you're fighting me after I said that you look great. If your body looks like it does in the picture then we are golden. If I did not find you attractive then why am I tidying up my apartment for when you come over? Excuse me for being so bold, but that's what I want, and we're on our way to get there, I have some acne scars, are you find with that? (mistake, I was trying to say that I have some insecurities too)
  • She says she's confused and asks a bunch of questions and I give even more explanations of what I meant.
    Her: ohhh okay! I was lost! I'm caught up now!
    Me: I want to change subjects. Was I was moving too fast for you?
    Her: No. What are you doing tonight?
    Me Just chilling out, so happy the weekend's here. Where do you live?
    Her" *location* why?
    Me: You hungry? If you're not busy you should come over.
    Her: where do you live?
    Me: *location*
    Her: oh yea I know where that is! Do you have a roommate or friend with you?
    Me: I have the whole place to myself
    Her: Oh bummer...I'm with my friend ): I was just gonna bring her but nvm
    Me: That's a shame. You should stick with her in that case. I don't want to interrupt and be a home breaker or anything.
That was our last communication we have had since last night.

I'm thinking that I'm just going to wait till she messages me.

Sorry for the length. Thanks guys for everything. I'll keep you guys updated!

You keep apologizing for getting a bit sexual, which is the mistake you keep making. You need to be sexual unapologetic keep the convo with the goal of painting you as a lover that can satisfy her like no other, even if is bs. Look for my text game post... Anyways, with the pics you miss a great opportunity to get sexual by saying that you busted 3 times to her pics. Second you should invite her for coffee, if you are gonna text this much(with sexual innuindos/sexting goal), if not go for the meet... Tell her to come over for a movie and wine... Again stop saying "am i going to fast for you" facepalm...

the-skills-secrets-to-text-game-vt138170.html

and:

http://www.theskillsmethod.com/how-to-p ... encounter/
Author:  80DaysOfChallenge [ Sun Aug 04, 2013 1:52 am ]
Post subject:  Re: My $100 Bet To Lose My Virginity By The End Of Summer
Quote:
You keep apologizing for getting a bit sexual, which is the mistake you keep making.
I'll make sure to stop doing that. Besides the "Excuse me for being so bold, but that's what I want, and we're on our way to get there" is there any other spots that I did it?

The other part in which I think you would see something like that is, "I'm sorry "haha" is that the best you can do?" Of course can't be taken in that context as I was using negative reinforcement for her lack of a quality response.
Quote:
Anyways, with the pics you miss a great opportunity to get sexual by saying that you busted 3 times to her pics.
I don't understand. Are you referring to me complimenting her? If so I was going for the "don't compliment a girl on her till she takes her clothes off" thing.

What was the opportunity I missed? How could I have taken advantage of it?
Quote:
Second you should invite her for coffee, if you are gonna text this much(with sexual innuindos/sexting goal), if not go for the meet... Tell her to come over for a movie and wine...
The problem is logistics, with me not having a car and everything. I guess I could propose that she comes over and picks me up, of course that's not ideal but it might be the best thing I can do for now.

As I don't drink I'm thinking that I could invite her over for dinner, I'm a fantastic cook.
Quote:
Again stop saying "am i going to fast for you"
My thought behind saying this is that I was challenging her to keep up. With her saying that she's a "crazy" girl, I thought that it would be a good idea to put myself in the frame that I'm the one that pushing and she's the one that has to keep up. If you could clarify more and give me a reason on why I should not say that that would be great?

Sexual escalation might just be one of my biggest sticking points. I was out of my comfort zone when I was escalating over text. So I'm sure that I make some mistakes.

She has not texted me so far. I'm thinking that I'm going to text her tonight.
Author:  skills360 [ Mon Aug 05, 2013 6:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: My $100 Bet To Lose My Virginity By The End Of Summer
Quote:
Quote:
You keep apologizing for getting a bit sexual, which is the mistake you keep making.
I'll make sure to stop doing that. Besides the "Excuse me for being so bold, but that's what I want, and we're on our way to get there" is there any other spots that I did it?

The other part in which I think you would see something like that is, "I'm sorry "haha" is that the best you can do?" Of course can't be taken in that context as I was using negative reinforcement for her lack of a quality response.
Quote:
Anyways, with the pics you miss a great opportunity to get sexual by saying that you busted 3 times to her pics.
I don't understand. Are you referring to me complimenting her? If so I was going for the "don't compliment a girl on her till she takes her clothes off" thing.

What was the opportunity I missed? How could I have taken advantage of it?
Quote:
Second you should invite her for coffee, if you are gonna text this much(with sexual innuindos/sexting goal), if not go for the meet... Tell her to come over for a movie and wine...
The problem is logistics, with me not having a car and everything. I guess I could propose that she comes over and picks me up, of course that's not ideal but it might be the best thing I can do for now.

As I don't drink I'm thinking that I could invite her over for dinner, I'm a fantastic cook.
Quote:
Again stop saying "am i going to fast for you"
My thought behind saying this is that I was challenging her to keep up. With her saying that she's a "crazy" girl, I thought that it would be a good idea to put myself in the frame that I'm the one that pushing and she's the one that has to keep up. If you could clarify more and give me a reason on why I should not say that that would be great?

Sexual escalation might just be one of my biggest sticking points. I was out of my comfort zone when I was escalating over text. So I'm sure that I make some mistakes.

She has not texted me so far. I'm thinking that I'm going to text her tonight.


you miss an opportunity to amp. up the sexuality with the pics, saying uhmm i busted 3 times to your pics for example (you masturbated and ejaculated to her pics...)...


You can not go sexual and then back down is not congruent here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0u76YhNLmM#
Page 1 of 1 All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/