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She wants to wait?
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=166537		 Page 1 of 3
Author:  YellowBull [ Tue Jul 30, 2013 11:12 pm ]
Post subject:  She wants to wait?
Hey everyone.

I've been writing this HB9 up lately via. a site. 3 weeks ago we moved to texting over the phone, and we've been texting all day, everyday. And I really want this to work out - very much gf potential.

I get plenty of IOI's;
1: She admitted she likes me, because i can say no to her
2: Shes been telling her friends, female friends AND parents about me, referring to me as "the new guy".
3: Generelly her texting. She really wants to write with me, everyday, as she keeps asking me, if i will write to her. Sometimes i say no(in which case, she writes to me), other times i say yes.
4: Her status on SPAM (The new MSN Messenger), which is visible to all her contacts is "[My Reallife Name]<3"
5: She sends me pictures (Not nude) of herself by MMS.

Problem is here; With all this positive chemistry between me and her I still can't get her to meet up with me.
Today, i asked her; "I think it would be nice to meet up. Let's be super casual and just take a walk"

She told me, that she wanted to wait. For now, she only wants to text with me and wait.
She denies there is any specific reason for her waiting. Only reason is "Let's just text for now".

I don't want to be needy, in this case. So my reply was; "Sure we can wait. But don't assume that I will wait forever". Then we went on with our usual fun talk.

This still bugs me though. Why the hell does she want to wait, and yet still send out all those IOI's?
Do any of you guys have an idea on how to turn the table and make her STOP the waiting?
Author:  Soy Un Pony Dork [ Wed Jul 31, 2013 1:12 am ]
Post subject:  Re: She wants to wait?
Have you heard of Manti Te'o?
Author:  YellowBull [ Wed Jul 31, 2013 5:39 am ]
Post subject:  Re: She wants to wait?
Quote:
Have you heard of Manti Te'o?
No, what's it about?
Author:  Soy Un Pony Dork [ Wed Jul 31, 2013 10:50 am ]
Post subject:  Re: She wants to wait?
Quote:
Quote:
Have you heard of Manti Te'o?
No, what's it about?
Getting catfished.
Author:  Psydaddy [ Wed Jul 31, 2013 11:29 am ]
Post subject:  Re: She wants to wait?
That's because you haven't created comfort on her to meet ups!

Your answer should have been like this:
- No problem, when you feel comfortable we can meet up then.

And NEVER EVER EVER EVER blackmail the girl as you did! Your answer was like: If you make me wait too much then fuck you!

So from now on, you have to give her the idea that you are not a threat, so you can use these lines (it doesn't matter the topic as long you use them!):
- I'll protect you
- I take care of you
- Don't worry i just want you to be comfortable
- As long you are comfortable
- Yes we have time, i just don't want you to be uncomfortable with me

Then start to roleplay about the future meet ups \ life:
- One day we should play bowling
- We have to <activity> one day!
- One day i can take you to that place
- When you trust me more we can <activity>
- (you can make jokes like) I'm predicting our future, omg! A black kid? You are going to cheat on me!?

Then slowly escalate to the meet (in about 1 week counting from today)
Note: Your first meet up should be with a lot of people around, so she doesn't have feel uncomfortable with you, also if you can get a place near from her house it's even better, she'll feel more comfortable!
If you have related friends and you think she'll get more comfortable then also ask your related friends out, i know i know, they would be a cock-block to you but she'll be ok to meet up again with just you next time.

The thing is:
- If she's not comfortable with you: You have to get more people around
- If she's not comfortable with distant places from her house: You have to choose the nearest place.
If you combine both you have less changes of failing.
Also make sure that you give emphasis to: "It's near", "There are a lot of people there", "We can hangout with john, maria, natacha, etc.."

Comfort means:
- You can escape anytime if you feel threatened (like she can go home, run away if she needed, ask other people for helpetc)
- Everything will be ok, i'm not a bad person
- I'm not going to make you suffer or die
- I don't want to take advantage on things that you don't want me to do
- I protect you if you need
- I'll be the first person to care about you when you need protection
Author:  YellowBull [ Wed Jul 31, 2013 5:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She wants to wait?
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Have you heard of Manti Te'o?
No, what's it about?
Getting catfished.

Ah, don't worry. She is not a fake user. Its 100% confirmed.

Quote:
That's because you haven't created comfort on her to meet ups!

[....]
Thank you for that very informative post, Psydaddy.

Two things id like to add.

One;
Prior to me asking;
We have already played around with future scenarioes. For exampel; she has mentioned several times that she'd like to sleep(not dirty) with me, played around with scenarioes where me and her are living together in our own house, own island and etc. Maybe try and do some future scenarioes where we are actually on a date?

Two;
Her last boyfriend was an abusive prick, and shes mentioned how afraid she is of him. When she did this, I conviced hard and honest, that id protect her from any harm that may come, no matter the consequences. At first she didn't budge, but after some convincing she finally stopped denying my protection.
Maybe she has trouble letting me "in" after her last boyfriend?
And I should perhaps continue to drop 'comforting and protective' subtle remarks from time to time?

All in all; Your advise is that I should give it a try in a week again, after having worked on my comfort level with her - am i right?
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Wed Jul 31, 2013 7:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She wants to wait?
I hate to say it man, but you have to be a little bit realistic. Get on her SPAM Video chat at the very least before you begin investing too much more of yourself into her. This is ridicules because she is leading you the whole way and you're allowing it. She wants to text, she gets to text.. You want to me... you don't get to me.. Since when does only one member of a relationship get what they want?


SPAM Video Chat man... I honestly don't think this is a real girl.

Question: How are you 100% sure that she is real? Be honest.
Author:  YellowBull [ Wed Jul 31, 2013 7:24 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She wants to wait?
Quote:
Question: How are you 100% sure that she is real? Be honest.

Her facebook profile makes it pretty obvious, I have to admit.
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Wed Jul 31, 2013 7:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She wants to wait?
Quote:
Quote:
Question: How are you 100% sure that she is real? Be honest.

Her facebook profile makes it pretty obvious, I have to admit.

lol have you never watched the show? SPAM video chat her man..
Author:  Pickwick [ Wed Jul 31, 2013 7:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She wants to wait?
Maybe 6-7 years ago, I was talking to this girl. She found me on MySpace and added me. It said she went to a high school about 20 minutes from where I went to. We dated in a similar fashion as you guys, texted all the time, called etc. Were in each other's top 8s on MySpace, always wrote statuses about each other. We've never met since the time would just never work out between us- we did, however, talk on the phone every night.

She sent me pictures, and dang she looked good. I was fine with not meeting her for some time- a good looking girl, plus a few years older than I, added me on MySpace and keeps telling me how much she is into me. She even told me a few times that she drove by my school and would see me getting into my car- she would list what I was wearing and everything. I would ask her why she didn't stop by and say hi, she would say she was too shy and was in a rush.

She seemed like a chill girl so I kept talking to her. Eventually, one of the girls that was trying to get with me did a little investigation. Turned out the girl I was talking to on the phone every day was fake. It turned out to be the girl that sat next to me in math class, who later confessed and told me she was in love with me, but knew that I didn't like her.

Let me tell you that the experience was very interesting. Also just last year another girl found me and added me on Facebook. With pictures and everything. Turned out she was from the city I live in now so I said let's meet up. She hit me with a "I'm flying to my parents' house tomorrow and will be there for a few weeks." I thought word. Then I started investigating as two other people added me whom I didn't know. They claimed to be her friends and apparently heard a lot about me, even though I've talked to her just a few times.

Long story short, it was a different girl from my high school, who moved to the same city as I live now to try and win me over (moved from East Coast to West Coast). I told her that she should've been real and she should move on. Fortunately she got married the same year to some random guy she met.


To conclude, shit like this happens.
Author:  User13247 [ Wed Jul 31, 2013 9:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She wants to wait?
To be honest all of this screams catfish to me as well. If she's that into you, why does she not want to meet up? An interesting thing that may be useful is Google's 'search by image' option. Go to Google, press images, then press the little camera on the right of the bar, drag any pics of her onto the dialog screen, and there you go.
Author:  YellowBull [ Thu Aug 01, 2013 5:54 am ]
Post subject:  Re: She wants to wait?
Thanks for all the warnings, guys.

I tried Psydaddy's tips out yesterday, which made her talk a little about the things she's afraid of. Here she said, that she was not afraid of meeting me. She was afraid of what her EX would do to he if he found out.
Author:  AFC Stevie J. [ Thu Aug 01, 2013 7:50 am ]
Post subject:  Re: She wants to wait?
This is funny cause I was actually watching the show on mtv earlier lol...seriously though man be careful!
Author:  YellowBull [ Thu Aug 01, 2013 7:55 am ]
Post subject:  Re: She wants to wait?
Guys ..
How can I convince her, to let go of her fear of her emotional and phycially abusive ex-boyfriend?
Author:  User13247 [ Thu Aug 01, 2013 10:30 am ]
Post subject:  Re: She wants to wait?
Another thing that catfish do is make up drama stories, like abusive ex-boyfriends. She tells her parents about you, her friends, she has your name and a heart in her public SPAM status, etc. Announcing to everyone that she is in love with a new guy is not a problem at all, but when it comes to meeting suddenly she's afraid her ex finds out. But what if the ex story is real and he does find out, who gives a shit? Is he a danger to you or her? If so, did she report him to the police, got a restraining order? Does her story really make sense to you?
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