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Attraction or friendzoned?
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Author:  RockstarPUA [ Mon Jul 29, 2013 9:34 am ]
Post subject:  Attraction or friendzoned?
A lot of you are probably going to tell me i'm being dumb but I really like this girl and want to be sure before I escalate things more. I'l give a list of the things she does that I think are IOI's

- Maintains eye contact when we're talking
- Will look at me when she's talking to someone else more that she looks at the other person
- Will come up and talk to me or stop and wait for me to come to her for a chat
- Doesn't mind being close to me
- Will stand next to me and rest her head on my shoulder (however that usually comes with the 'im so tired' theme)

Now I know some of these are definite IOI's but also can be indicators of comfort in the friend zone, especially the leaning into me and resting her head on me bit.

Maybe a little more info may help. She's a work colleague, about 18years old. Ive known her to talk to for only a few weeks. Also, the bit I'm worried about is, she's been having some problems recently which has affected her quite badly. I've also experienced similar issues in my past so ive been talking to her about it and offered advice, shown my vulnerabilities etc. I know thats the wrong thing to do from a pua standpoint but I do feel a connection with her so wanted to help. Do you think i've friendzoned my self with that?

I hope this isnt too muddled but any thoughts welcome.

I'm sure I'm going to get a 'DUMBASS' response. thats fine lol
Author:  Tr@veler [ Mon Jul 29, 2013 1:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Attraction or friendzoned?
It could be either or my friend. There's only one surefire way to find out, and that's to make a move.

I'd say get her out of the work environment and take her out on a cool "date" but don't mention the word date. A great thing to do would be to go somewhere where you only need one other person to join you, like you have a spare ticket for something or ask her if she likes so and so and if she says Yes then say cool, I've been looking for a person who I could go with. Wanna join me? This gives you the opportunity to just shoot the shit with her and get her to "realize" she likes you.

But you will have to escalate constantly. Get to that point and then ask more questions about what to do on the actual date.
Author:  Psydaddy [ Mon Jul 29, 2013 2:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Attraction or friendzoned?
Mate you have to take advantage on that, if she's comfortable touching you you have to take steeps, otherwise yes you'll get into the friendzone....
Give her more hugs, kisses and cross more eye contact, make her more into you.

Then start to invite her out, but make sure you have flirted a few times with her before meet ups, otherwise she might flake...

About advises, when she start to complain about something you are not able to fight against that, if you change topics or you don't reply, she'll get the idea that you don't care about her, which is bad. So you have to give her advises anyway... But you can take advantage on that and say:
- I would like to put a smile on your face
- You don't have to worry I'm here to protect you
- You don't have to feel that way, i'll take care of you
- I would hug you right now to make you feel better

Things that you can't say:
- I want you to promises me that you'll be ok (friends make promises, men take actions!)
- Friends like you should never get sad like that (never ever ever ever mention "friend" word!)
- If you want anything just ask (friends are always ready to help!)
- When you get sad i also get sad (don't show weakness!)

So you should show that you care but you are there to take actions (hug, kiss, protect, take care, etc...)

If you receive messages like: "You are a good friend" then you might have been friendzoned...

Never take advantages to ask a girl out when she doesn't feel well, because she'll think that you are doing that because you are a good friend and you care about her... you have to invite girls when you are flirting with them, otherwise they wouldn't get your main propose.

Also never invite a girl like: I want you to feel better (because she has problems and shit) so we should go out and get some coffee <- this means that you don't want a relationship or get laid, this only means: You are not ok and i want to you be happy, because i'm your friend!
Author:  TheFury [ Mon Jul 29, 2013 2:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Attraction or friendzoned?
Stop being afraid to fail and make a move. That's the only way to know for sure. The longer you wait though, the more you are GUARANTEED to be in the friend zone. Seriously man, the friend zone is worse than just not talking to a girl anymore. Just make a move. You already know this, you are just afraid to fail and it's preventing you from going for it.
Author:  RockstarPUA [ Tue Jul 30, 2013 9:16 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Attraction or friendzoned?
That's some good advice, cheers fellas. I'm realising I'm at a crucial point where it could go either way, so I'm gonna step up my kino escalation. Like earlier on I was chatting to her, put my arm around her shoulders while talking, and then I playfully hugged her from behind and pretended to bite her neck, then said 'I just wanna eat you, you're so cute!'. She received this well and was laughing during so that's a good sign. Also she talks about how long her hair is a lot (don't know why) so I think I'm gonna try the hair pull evolution phaseshift. Thoughts?
Author:  worldrunner [ Tue Jul 30, 2013 9:52 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Attraction or friendzoned?
Great advice Psydaddy

Just one little thing
Quote:
If you receive messages like: "You are a good friend" then you might have been friendzoned...
When you receive a message like that you can always reply in a cocky and funny way like: "And you haven't have the chance to see me as a lover, that's where the strong part of my personality stands for!"

Just to plant the seed on her mind that can be more...

The "friendzone" most of the times is a polite way to reject you and tell you that they do not like you... In case they like you, you can always get out of it with a little bit of patience.
Author:  Psydaddy [ Tue Jul 30, 2013 10:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Attraction or friendzoned?
Quote:
Great advice Psydaddy

Just one little thing
Quote:
If you receive messages like: "You are a good friend" then you might have been friendzoned...
When you receive a message like that you can always reply in a cocky and funny way like: "And you haven't have the chance to see me as a lover, that's where the strong part of my personality stands for!"

Just to plant the seed on her mind that can be more...

The "friendzone" most of the times is a polite way to reject you and tell you that they do not like you... In case they like you, you can always get out of it with a little bit of patience.
Thanks mate, i loved the answer, but you know.... once friendzone, yeh.... always friendzoned...
The thing is, when they tell you this "You are a good friend" they already have the idea that they don't want a relationship or whatever from you, and they are playing safe....so it's hard to get out of it...
But your sentence is good to make fun of the girl :P
Quote:
Also she talks about how long her hair is a lot (don't know why) so I think I'm gonna try the hair pull evolution phaseshift. Thoughts?
NOOOO!!!

She might want a complement, so you can give her a complement or you can neg her by saying:
- Don't worry, somebody will like you some day (smile)
- Stop asking for a complement
- Oh you have to effort more to receive a complement from me

Or she's nervous and she starts to touch her hair, then she start to realize that her hair is long, so she say that because her brain doesn't have a particular reason for what she's doing, then she say that. But you can neg or complement her anyway!

I don't think you are doing the escalation quite well but if she's ok with that then you can continue : )
Your next goals are (in order):
- Hug her from the front
- Hold her hand
- Kiss her

Then you are ready to go : ) best of luck
Author:  NonStopReaper [ Wed Jul 31, 2013 12:29 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Attraction or friendzoned?
sound to me you are already friendzoned. A few Weeks? if she hasnt fucked you with in atleast a week obviously you are friend zoned. Like what the other poster put. You can get out of it, but it will take a lot of work. Have you try esculating sexual yet? and see her reaction? you need to establish where this is going, let it be known to her that you want something more than being stuck in the friend zone or put in the friend zone. This reminds me of this one video i saw on youtube. hilarious but yet true. I send it to all my female friends. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-tJSvlZ868
Author:  pumpington [ Wed Jul 31, 2013 4:59 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Attraction or friendzoned?
escalate, hold her hand or something, do something flirt with her in what ever way you know how, see what happens when you show her you like her with your actions and turn it up bit by bit
Author:  detox75 [ Wed Jul 31, 2013 5:11 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Attraction or friendzoned?
Sounds like your confusing affection with attraction, push the interaction to obtain the correct answer but my money is on affection.
Author:  RockstarPUA [ Wed Jul 31, 2013 10:01 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Attraction or friendzoned?
Quote:
Sounds like your confusing affection with attraction, push the interaction to obtain the correct answer but my money is on affection.
Can you expand on the difference? does affection always mean friendzoned? I say ive known her for a few weeks but bear in mind this is only at work so I only manage to talk to her about 2 times a day for about 2 min at a time. so its not like we hang out a lot at the moment. And she was showing these 'ioi's very early on.
Author:  detox75 [ Thu Aug 01, 2013 1:23 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Attraction or friendzoned?
IoI's early on were likely before you decided to be "nice to her" in order to attract her. Affection is when a girl is willing to hang out with you because she is being rewarded, whether thats by compliments, money, or rapport. Attraction is a sexual interest. Beginners often try to parlay affection into attraction, that rarely works, and when it does it usually eventuates in a fucked up situation. Start with pushing attraction which makes it easier for her to reject you but has a better back end result.

let know if I should be more specific
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