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What's going through her head?
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Author:  Houtty [ Mon Jul 22, 2013 1:06 am ]
Post subject:  What's going through her head?
So my ex texted me on two occasions.
Occasion 1 was a couple of weeks back sayjng she was feeling sad and all.. so I texted her abit then told her I'm out with my friends and you should sleep. The next morning, I texted her back asking her if she was feeling better, she didn't reply. Then that night, we bumped into each other at a club. Just simple small talk and she said she was feeling better. Then I just talked to a few other chicks. Came a time when I was talking to a chick and she came up beside me and started talking to my wingman. So I was kinda in a sandwich and I told her(she was having gastric pain) that her tummy isn't well and she has to go home to rest. And she just gave me a peck on the cheek and left.

Occasion 2:just this weekend. She texted me again and I kinda knew she was down and out. And she has a new bf. So she tried digging info of whether I was dating any girls. (She knows I'm good with girls). So we texted abit and she said that I make it seem like it was no effort to make her smile.
The I told her to sleep. So I texted her the next morning asking if she needed someone to talk to. She said nope I'm feeling better. Thanks. :)

I'll admit I still have feelings for her. But I'm dating other girls. Part of me wants her back. How can I do it?

ARe these iois?
Author:  RiRi [ Mon Jul 22, 2013 2:54 am ]
Post subject:  Re: What's going through her head?
There's a thin line between an IOI and an emotional response.

In this case, you got a ton of emotional responses.

Its easy to see that she's just clamoring for attention, which is explained by the texts to you that don't exactly seem super "friendly."

She knows you still have feelings for her so she's taking advantage of it. I wouldn't say that she's being nefarious with her intentions (in order to use you etc.), but you are helping enable it.

Regardless, I would start creating distance. She "already" has a bf according to you, so why even try to look into that? If she can't commit to you, yet still wants your attention, that's a shitty, AFC-type deal for you. Don't fall into that.

Create distance and do what you need to do.

Hope this helped.
Author:  Houtty [ Tue Jul 23, 2013 12:31 am ]
Post subject:  Re: What's going through her head?
I tested again and dropped her a text asking how she is. And no reply. So I guess when she texts me the next time.. I'm gonna take my time to reply. Does that count as creating distance?

Feel like it's a supply and demand kind of thing where I'm supplying too much emotional support thus it's not in demand. If I reduce the supply. Demand would get higher. Am I right to say this?
Author:  RiRi [ Tue Jul 23, 2013 7:25 am ]
Post subject:  Re: What's going through her head?
Quote:
I tested again and dropped her a text asking how she is. And no reply. So I guess when she texts me the next time.. I'm gonna take my time to reply. Does that count as creating distance?
First of all, you shouldn't have texted her. Second, you need a plan.

Do you have any idea? The indicators suggest that she's using you for attention and moral support. This doesnt work, especially because you have feelings for her. If she was really into you would she date somebody else?

To answer your question, yes, it does create distance. But all you'll get is emotionally fueled messages from her asking whats wrong etc. Then what? Are you going to indulge in her wishes again? This will go on forever unless you A. convince her to come back or B. Start looking elsewhere.

I think you’re headed in a direction where YOU get hurt. She has her own plan A and B, neither of which you know for sure you are involved in. So how about spending less time on her, and more on some other possibilities? The best thing you can do right now is go about your life and have fun, because when she sees that, she’s going to be jealous and probably will want to talk to you again. Then you have the power to make a decision. Right now, she has you by the balls…and you guys aren’t even together!
Quote:
Feel like it's a supply and demand kind of thing where I'm supplying too much emotional support thus it's not in demand. If I reduce the supply. Demand would get higher. Am I right to say this?
Yes, YOU are supplying support for HER demands (of needing somebody to talk to etc.). She has two men going after her, THAT is demand. Meaning, if you drop out, she gets less supply for her emotional demands (because apparently she needs two guys). So what you are doing, is supplying her demand OR saturating the market (giving her too much attention) leading to her being flaky with her responses and bored with you being more than an emotional tampon.

Don’t you think the explanation above makes you look like a bitch?

Now, let’s move on man. Let her go and be with this other boyfriend. If you were important enough, he wouldn’t be in the picture.

Here’s to the future.
Author:  Eddie Fews [ Tue Jul 23, 2013 5:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What's going through her head?
Hey bro..

I read your post but I didn't need to to answer your question.

Number one... Never, ever, ever concern yourself with what it is a girl is thinking because it doesn't matter. Women are pools of emotion, they go from one emotional thought to the next all the time. It is your job as the "man" in the interaction to LEAD despite what may be going on in her head.

In this post all I read about was you swimming in and our of her "pool", not once did you stay in your own pool and have her swim with you. Her pool goes in circles so as long as you stay in it, you'll never get anywhere. Your pool must have a slide of some sort that allows you to reach different levels.

I hope you get the metaphor

Joey
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