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Friend zoned, walk her home?
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Author:  Visor92 [ Wed Jun 26, 2013 1:35 am ]
Post subject:  Friend zoned, walk her home?
Here's the scenario:
You meet up with a friend who you have feelings for at a bar at night. You confess your feelings and tell her you can't carry on just being friends. She rejects you, so you bring the meeting to an end and freeze her out until your feelings for her go away. She lives 10 min walk away, it's a good neighbourhood but it's night time. Do you walk her home?

This is probably going to happen to me, and I'm trying to think of the correct way to handle the situation. If you walk her home, the freeze out has less effect, and I'd personally feel like a bit of a nice guy chump. On the other hand, letting a girl walk home at night isn't very alpha and I'd feel a bit like a pussy sulking at the rejection (I've always walked her home before)

What do you guys think? Some outside opinion would help me get my thoughts into perspective.
Author:  Skylar B [ Wed Jun 26, 2013 9:23 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Friend zoned, walk her home?
1st: Never ever,ever tell a girls your feelings,its creepy and reeks desperation.

if she brings up the convo about feelings and asks you about them,either make her tell you about her feelings for you first or go get a drink and come back saying you saw an old friend at the bar,in reality steering the conversation away.she will probably try and get back to the conversation again but keep coming up with excuses.then walk her home at the end of the night,(only if she askes) and by the time she has to leave,give her a hug and try and kiss her.The part i underlined worked for me,one night,walking a chick home.
not 100% guaranteed to work,but hey its a shot to kiss a girl you really like :) :wink: make sure you get signs shes interested in you (IOIs)
Author:  TheFury [ Wed Jun 26, 2013 5:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Friend zoned, walk her home?
I agree. Having the "talk" accomplishes nothing. Just freeze her out. I wouldn't even go for the kiss as it seems you already know you will be rejected. Freeze her out, don't even see her at the bar. Cancel your plan with her. That is an even better solution.
Author:  Pickwick [ Thu Jun 27, 2013 12:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Friend zoned, walk her home?
I agree with not having the talk.

Instead of freezing her out, subtly introduce seduction into the friendship. You have all the rapport, so throw in sexual innuendos, playful and teasing compliments, adequate kino. The beauty with this is that there is a thin line between you teasing her since you're friends and actually meaning something sexual. This is good for two reasons:

1. If anything goes wrong, you can cross the line back and it will seem like you were just playing. Don't say you were playing, but you can tune down what I listed above. Conversely, if everything goes right, you can intensify it.

2. You're letting her interpret your behavior. If she is attracted to you, she will play along. If she does, remember that you have the initiative to control that seduction valve, not her. If she interprets it as friendship, she will react differently. You will be able to tell.

Just remember, you have to do it subtly. It should be hard to tell the difference between you today and you yesterday.

You can't do the talk and put so much pressure on her. About 80% of the time people turn on their defensive mechanisms when enough pressure is introduced. She will be inclined to turn it down, and it might not even have anything to do with you; unless, of course, she is madly in love with you. Even if she is though, your little confession will make her want you less. You can't reveal your cards right away- the game won't be interesting.

Your mindset isn't right either. You're already letting in the option that you might fail: already thinking of how you're going to treat the rejection. Know that some guy will be fucking her anyway- why shouldn't it be you? You have the body of a Spartan, you cook some mean spaghetti, you save the world every day, and your mother dresses you with style. Now go get em champ!
Author:  Digital_Spy [ Thu Jun 27, 2013 6:01 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Friend zoned, walk her home?
If a girl rejects you, take it on the chin and accept that she's not that into you and ALWAYS, ALWAYS walk her home if she's going on her own otherwise you'll never forgive yourself if some nutter rapes her or something. Be nice. Be a gentleman. You're not a childish asshole are you? Who knows she may change her mind about you.
Author:  poeticlyskuac [ Thu Jun 27, 2013 6:58 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Friend zoned, walk her home?
I support you dude.... have the talk... I've done it before. It's not that big of a deal, honestly these guys are binary on their thoughts here... You only want to fuck her in your mind.... (maybe that is your mind too)

If you do it and you're not needy your fine.... These guys are saying never ever say your feelings but they don't understand the key to everything is being genuine and confident, which entails saying your feelings... the difference is don't be outcome dependent... say what you want to say. Don't worry about what she says... as much... you'll feel like a weight is lifted off your shoulders. They say it won't help things but they never offered a good solution for advancing the relationship, you maintaining your current situation can hurt and fuck you up more in my personal experiences... you watching her with other guys, and all that bull shit....

I did it last year and me and this girl were very close.... very very very close.... the only reason we weren't together were circumstances... It was fine, and we didn't see each other for 4 months, yet every time we see each other we're fine... and still quite close. I sent her a letter though... and we chatted a lil after if you want pm me and I'll send it to you.... you'll see how I handled it. This allowed me to stay strong and let it ride.... not get over invested in her... With this particular girl she was very understanding...... and most are as long as you are direct and tell her I can't be around you until my feelings die... Note: I ended the friendship at a rough point in her life too.... she wanted me around a lot and told me afterwards.... but respected my wishes.

Guys that say their feelings and feel it's desperate and what not have a glimmer of truth but that is only because most of these guys are protecting their weak inner game(ego, self-esteem, low self-confidence, etc.)... If you have strong inner game, and based off of the tone of your post, it sounds quite likely, I say put it out there and move on.... the problem is these guys don't realize staying around a girl you have feelings with and watching her go off and fuck around with other guys fucks you up a bit... just tell her how it is... let it ride and move on.

Showing your feelings doesn't wreak of desperation, actually not showing them wreaks of neediness.... It means you can't show your feelings for fear of rejection... you need her approval....

It's certainly not creepy to expose your feelings... I don't know how he came to this belief but I disagree...

The key to being good at the talk is simple: STAY CONFIDENT, DON'T BE NEEDY!

As far as walking her home Yes, walk her home... be a gentlemen. Give her a hug good bye, tell her you'll see her after you've worked your own shit out...

Be careful who you take your advice from a lot of these guys seem like they are theory junkies and thus have very lil real world experience. For instance just because kissing a girl on a walk home can work doesn't mean that is the best route, in fact it can and has made shit a lot worse for many.... communication is necessary and none of these guys are supporting that concept. Confident people know what they want and go after it, they say what they want when they want.... these guys see it as no use.... I see it as very useful, I believe in making things clear and open.... rather than the bull shit but I'm a grown man and don't play chicken shit games with women.

You can have the talk on the walk home too.... that might be even better....

Peace and Love,

Vic
Author:  Hot-Shot [ Fri Jun 28, 2013 5:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Friend zoned, walk her home?
This is how I deal with regection: If she isn't attracted to or doesnt like me, she simply does not have everything I am looking for in a woman. I see myself as the better hand she can be dealt so it's her loss and simply put, turning down the better hand isn't a smart thing to do. As you may have realized, intelligence is one of the things I'm looking for in a woman. and that's how it plays in my head. I also remember that as long as you keep a positive attitude after regection, your chances (At least from my personal experience) of getting laid by another chick in the near future is greatly increased. Let's just say i blow off the regection 10x more than she blows me off because it Goes right over my head
Author:  Skylar B [ Fri Jun 28, 2013 7:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Friend zoned, walk her home?
Quote:
I support you dude.... have the talk... I've done it before. It's not that big of a deal, honestly these guys are binary on their thoughts here... You only want to fuck her in your mind.... (maybe that is your mind too)

If you do it and you're not needy your fine.... These guys are saying never ever say your feelings but they don't understand the key to everything is being genuine and confident, which entails saying your feelings... the difference is don't be outcome dependent... say what you want to say. Don't worry about what she says... as much... you'll feel like a weight is lifted off your shoulders. They say it won't help things but they never offered a good solution for advancing the relationship, you maintaining your current situation can hurt and fuck you up more in my personal experiences... you watching her with other guys, and all that bull shit....

I did it last year and me and this girl were very close.... very very very close.... the only reason we weren't together were circumstances... It was fine, and we didn't see each other for 4 months, yet every time we see each other we're fine... and still quite close. I sent her a letter though... and we chatted a lil after if you want pm me and I'll send it to you.... you'll see how I handled it. This allowed me to stay strong and let it ride.... not get over invested in her... With this particular girl she was very understanding...... and most are as long as you are direct and tell her I can't be around you until my feelings die... Note: I ended the friendship at a rough point in her life too.... she wanted me around a lot and told me afterwards.... but respected my wishes.

Guys that say their feelings and feel it's desperate and what not have a glimmer of truth but that is only because most of these guys are protecting their weak inner game(ego, self-esteem, low self-confidence, etc.)... If you have strong inner game, and based off of the tone of your post, it sounds quite likely, I say put it out there and move on.... the problem is these guys don't realize staying around a girl you have feelings with and watching her go off and fuck around with other guys fucks you up a bit... just tell her how it is... let it ride and move on.

Showing your feelings doesn't wreak of desperation, actually not showing them wreaks of neediness.... It means you can't show your feelings for fear of rejection... you need her approval....

It's certainly not creepy to expose your feelings... I don't know how he came to this belief but I disagree...

The key to being good at the talk is simple: STAY CONFIDENT, DON'T BE NEEDY!

As far as walking her home Yes, walk her home... be a gentlemen. Give her a hug good bye, tell her you'll see her after you've worked your own shit out...

Be careful who you take your advice from a lot of these guys seem like they are theory junkies and thus have very lil real world experience. For instance just because kissing a girl on a walk home can work doesn't mean that is the best route, in fact it can and has made shit a lot worse for many.... communication is necessary and none of these guys are supporting that concept. Confident people know what they want and go after it, they say what they want when they want.... these guys see it as no use.... I see it as very useful, I believe in making things clear and open.... rather than the bull shit but I'm a grown man and don't play chicken shit games with women.

You can have the talk on the walk home too.... that might be even better....

Peace and Love,

Vic
This guy is right,he is a moderator and has alot of experience more than everyone else on this forum.
i was always told it was creepy to tell a girl about your feelings, but to quote stylelife: "everything you were told about dating is wrong". i did tell a girl my feeling about her(i liked her alot and we were very close) and my friends told me it was very creepy of me to tell her my feelings,even tho she asked.i dont understand..

but no matter what,walk her home,be a gent,not a dick :D.she may talk about how the night went and it may put in a good word for you among her friends,leading to one of her hot friends to ask you to meet up with her for night out. :wink:

its up to you to have the talk,its a 50/50 chance of success with her leading to a potential relationship,if you tell her your feelings,its probably best to have the talk with her on the way home,because its quiet and she will hear everything you are saying :)
Author:  Pickwick [ Sat Jun 29, 2013 12:13 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Friend zoned, walk her home?
Quote:
This guy is right,he is a moderator and has alot of experience more than everyone else on this forum.
:lol:

There are better ways to turn a friendship into a sexual relationship than doing it explicitly. Yeah, talking about it does have place, and it's better to talk to her about it than freezing her out or not doing anything at all. I also agree that having that talk doesn't make you needy, but once again, there are better ways.
Author:  Hunter_Foxe [ Sat Jun 29, 2013 12:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Friend zoned, walk her home?
Don't have the talk. Use body language, kino, dance with her, put your arm around her, make her feel comfortable. Once she gets that close to you physically she may see a side of you she hadn't seen before. Telling her your feelings without touching or kissing her (especially if you do it drunk at the end of the night) is pretty much guaranteed to fail. That shit only works when you're bleeding to death in a modern kung fu film starring Jet Li and Chow Yun Fat.
Author:  Monsignor Crisanto [ Sat Jun 29, 2013 5:44 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Friend zoned, walk her home?
As Hunter rightfully observed, we tend to confuse what we see in movies versus what is actually happening in the real world. Two things you need to be aware of: (1) There's girlie speake and man speake; and (2) Walking her home will give you the answer that you're looking for.

Girls tell their feelings in ways that confuse a lot of men. When a girl says, "I love you" she doesn't really mean "I love you" like what a man really feels. A girl will usually say, "I love you" while looking at your crotch or while stroking your cock in a private place; even in public sometimes. "I love you" in girlie speake means, "I want you to fuck me so many times." When she says, "I can't live without you. Please don't leave me." that basically means, "I love you" in masculine language.

So how do girls know when a man loves them? Is it when a man says, "I love you" or is it when he does manly things that express his feelings? In my lifetime, out of the 6 girls I said, "I love you" not one believed what I said the first time I said it.

But girls knew I loved them when I walked them home, fetched them at school or at work, moved them on the safer side of the street, or by the way I looked into their eyes and kissed them. That's man speake. That's what girls understand... More than words.

One good indicator that makes me know when a girl is in love with me is when I walk her home. The girl who is not into you will go straight through the door and walk right inside the house. The girl who loves you will look where you are before she opens the door and goes inside.

That's just the way it is. Be a man and say things like a man should. It's masculine language that girls understand best when interacting with a man. Stay away from girlie speake that so many years of social conditioning infused into our heads and made us men effeminate. You're not her girlie BFF, or gay friend, nor running a Barney show.

:twisted:
Author:  pumpington [ Sat Jun 29, 2013 6:48 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Friend zoned, walk her home?
Quote:
Here's the scenario:
You meet up with a friend who you have feelings for at a bar at night. You confess your feelings and tell her you can't carry on just being friends. She rejects you, so you bring the meeting to an end and freeze her out until your feelings for her go away. She lives 10 min walk away, it's a good neighbourhood but it's night time. Do you walk her home?
if you want to, sure why not
Quote:
This is probably going to happen to me, and I'm trying to think of the correct way to handle the situation. If you walk her home, the freeze out has less effect, and I'd personally feel like a bit of a nice guy chump. On the other hand, letting a girl walk home at night isn't very alpha and I'd feel a bit like a pussy sulking at the rejection (I've always walked her home before)
doesn't really matter if you are a ''nice guy'' or a ''mean guy'', it's not going to really change the current circumstances, if she isn't interested then it's pretty irrelevant if you walk her home or not, but then again you could just be reading into it wrong and just put too much pressure on her and put her in a situation where she wasn't comfortable enough to be honest (that's something to pay more attention to in the future, now is not necessarily the time to get needy and go after this girl to the ends of the earth when she has shown disinterest)

next time you are in a situation with a girl you like, either make your feelings for her less important when displaying them, just be upfront and honest right away that you are attracted to her but allow it to not be such a big deal, it's just like a matter of fact and you aren't trying to reach some sort of moment with her where she owes you something or has to reciprocate any sort of anything back, that sort of validation will come with time with someone who you have a strong bond with, or don't make such a big deal about something that is not on the table, instead start ''showing'' her with actions how much you like her instead of trying to just reach some sort of verbal I like you, you like me agreement, instead of that, just try to have sex with the girls that go out with you and have fun, you can save the I like you alot or I love you alot sort of talks for after you guys have a lot of sexual history together and are attached
Quote:
What do you guys think? Some outside opinion would help me get my thoughts into perspective.
next time you meet a girl you like (plz not the one your post is about), and nothing is on the table, just give her a compliment or two a reason or two that you can justify liking her, it doesn't have to be about how she looks, but just find something you actually like about her and just let her know, it can be simple as, wow, you're really interesting to talk to, I like you

and if you don't know where to start with a girl and how to start escalating, hold her hand, you can start there, she takes it away, not a big deal man, it's just holding a hand

start showing girls with your actions how you feel about them, be more expressive emotionally, flirt with them, skirt on the line of interest, touch them, joke with them, make opportunities for you guys to see each other and enjoy each others company
Author:  Beedlejuice [ Sun Jul 07, 2013 9:31 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Friend zoned, walk her home?
NEVER EVER EVER EVER talk about your feelings. I would freeze her out. I would move on and talk to someone else that night.

The thing is, pop-culture has this shakespearian myth about love...
"Simply tell her your feelings and how beautiful she is to you, and you will fall in love."

Just get it through your head, that when a woman says she wants a man that will tell her how he feels, just know that it is a bunch of bullshit. Hell, I even verbally express this opinion as well. Their jaws open when they hear my opinion.


How do I know?

Because I have done it...
I poured my feelings to this girl and then she lost interest in me. She thinks I am desperate. So I cut her off, started meeting other women, and for some reason she wants something to do with me. Although my options is so great, I find that I really didn't want her to begin with and she wasn't worth all that heartache and pain, so I moved on to sexier and badder women. I focused on my craft, built up a fan-base and funds, and now since I am starting to get a bit more status she wants me back.


-First and foremost, get better at your craft and build a fan-base.
-She is going to call you because she misses your, "friendship".
-Just become ultra-busy...
-Ignore most of her calls...
-Pickup a few calls, every now and then, and when she ask you to hang out as friends, just say that you are busy, even if you are not.
-Just act like she is not even on your mind.
-Go incognito for a long time, when you happened to be at a party she is at, say hi to her to not be rude, but talk to a different woman instead of her...
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