PUA Forum
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/

hooking up with a friend
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=164735		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Sortman [ Wed Jun 26, 2013 1:12 am ]
Post subject:  hooking up with a friend
So I was in a situation where I became somewhat sexual with a new friend I made. This lasted until recently where she told me that my advances in suggesting she come over to my place were not wanted any longer. I'm not particularly into her and I haven't really put much effort into it, but it makes me feel somewhat inadequate if she is deciding that she doesn't want to have anything sexual to do with me.

Do you guys think it's worth it for me to pursue and try to get her again? Also, it is childish of me to want to deny her my friendship just because I'm sort of pissed at how she doesn't feel sexual attraction anymore?
Author:  Themagicalone [ Wed Jun 26, 2013 1:30 am ]
Post subject:  Re: hooking up with a friend
Quote:
So I was in a situation where I became somewhat sexual with a new friend I made. This lasted until recently where she told me that my advances in suggesting she come over to my place were not wanted any longer. I'm not particularly into her and I haven't really put much effort into it, but it makes me feel somewhat inadequate if she is deciding that she doesn't want to have anything sexual to do with me.

Do you guys think it's worth it for me to pursue and try to get her again? Also, it is childish of me to want to deny her my friendship just because I'm sort of pissed at how she doesn't feel sexual attraction anymore?
Don't pursue her any longer, make her come to want to pursue you. Do this by demonstrating a higher value (talking to better looking girls than her, being busy, not acting needy). You can also talk to her about other girls sexual or not but whatever you do don't brag but act like you really want her perception on whatever situation your telling her about, this will start bothering her as it shows that you didn't care about her not wanting you sexually.
Author:  Optimacy [ Wed Jun 26, 2013 3:03 am ]
Post subject:  Re: hooking up with a friend
Quote:
So I was in a situation where I became somewhat sexual with a new friend I made. This lasted until recently where she told me that my advances in suggesting she come over to my place were not wanted any longer. I'm not particularly into her and I haven't really put much effort into it, but it makes me feel somewhat inadequate if she is deciding that she doesn't want to have anything sexual to do with me.

Do you guys think it's worth it for me to pursue and try to get her again? Also, it is childish of me to want to deny her my friendship just because I'm sort of pissed at how she doesn't feel sexual attraction anymore?

Your post is not that dissimilar from the stereotypical "get your ex back" type issue.

The rejection is bothering you, so you want to do something to make it stop bothering you.

In this case, I will give you the same advice I give to clients who want to get over a break-up and/or get their ex back.

First, don't pursue her. Nothing will make you look more desperate and turn her off more than you trying to pursue her right now. The best answer you could've given was "No problem", when she said no more sex in your relationship. She might feel that way at that moment, but trust me, if she gets horny or something fails with a new guy, she will call you back into action as long as you don't screw things up now.

Second, don't be childish by "witholding your friendship". It's ok to stop INITIATING contact with her, but don't ignore her.

I don't trust my clients to have strong willpower, so I usually insist on ZERO contact. However, in your situation, it would look vindictive. Just be sure to NOT bring up sex with her or sound bitter when you do have contact with her.

I've got a long checklist on the website for getting over rejection (pm me and I'll send you the information), but the two suggestions I made above will get you started and keep you from making a big mistake at this stage.

BTW...One particular thing you will have to honestly assess is if you were good in bed with her. Most girls will NOT tell a guy "no more sex" if they are getting satisfied, so you may have to ask yourself some hard questions and look to improve in that area. Again, just PM me if you want any more help.
Author:  Tr@veler [ Wed Jun 26, 2013 8:01 am ]
Post subject:  Re: hooking up with a friend
Drop her. If you're not that into her and she's not that into you and you genuinely don't see any point in being friends with her, then just cut the contact. No harm done.
Author:  TrueFlame [ Wed Jun 26, 2013 10:07 am ]
Post subject:  Re: hooking up with a friend
Quote:
Also, it is childish of me to want to deny her my friendship just because I'm sort of pissed at how she doesn't feel sexual attraction anymore?
You want her because she doesn't want you. That's not a good reason to get back with someone. That's a self-esteem issue: true PUA's don't depend for their self-esteem on any one else's opinion. Your sole criterion for self-worth should be your own.

You aren't that into her, you said so, so why should you care now she's lost interest? In truth she's probably lost interest because she picked up on the fact that you aren't into her. Why drag this out?

If she's good friendship material then take her out and use her as social proof. Make her introduce you to women, and do the same for her with guys.
Author:  Sortman [ Wed Jun 26, 2013 7:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: hooking up with a friend
Thanks guys. I think I'll take the advice and not pursue anything further. If she wants to be friendly, that's fine, but I will not chase after her or suggest anything.

It's just a game and I somehow lost on this one. Better to reflect and self improve.
Author:  fbzgetmoney [ Thu Jun 27, 2013 2:58 am ]
Post subject:  Re: hooking up with a friend
couldn't have said it better myself! good luck! :)
Page 1 of 1 All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/