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Girls being hot and cold... is that normal?
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Author:  FunDanceMan [ Thu May 30, 2013 3:19 am ]
Post subject:  Girls being hot and cold... is that normal?
I tend to bump into this a lot with the girls I date. But Idk if it's me, something I can fix, or the nature of the beast.

Like you get with a chick, then things are in lovey dovey land for a week. Then afterwards, maybe after two weeks, they stop responding to you the same way they did before. Less frequent, not as mushy.

I do miss those mushy times and getting that kind of affection from them. Is it just normal that after 2 weeks - a month, they stop being all lovey dovey and ignore you a bit more?

Right now, Im not sure if she's lost interest or whatever. I havent done anything that would warrant that (too needy / too clingy.) Maybe I put too much distance? Yikes!
Author:  Betamax [ Thu May 30, 2013 3:26 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls being hot and cold... is that normal?
It's not the "nature of the beast." You're clearly doing something wrong, somewhere.

Are you punishing bad behaviour? If she takes four hours to reply, take at least four. If you say you miss her and she doesn't say it back, go cold turkey on her and don't ever say it again. Girls will shit test you to make sure you are capable of being a man and administering punishers.
Author:  FunDanceMan [ Thu May 30, 2013 4:46 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls being hot and cold... is that normal?
hmm really?

so if she takes a while and is legitimately busy, i should still punish her? i think you do have a point because she was probably "busy" before during the lovey dovey period and yet still managed to message me. also are you really supposed to be able to keep up those good vibes for an entire month or more? maybe i did something wrong?
Author:  DM [ Thu May 30, 2013 4:49 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls being hot and cold... is that normal?
yeah i had that exact problem with my girl. i was investing much more into the relationship than she was, so you really gotta pull back for a bit and slow it down.. Shes busy for you, return the favor and be busy for her.. Cat and mouse game really. Either that or end it, these arent healthy relationships in any case.. Always ask yourself this though, if it was Brad pitt, would she be 'too busy to respond'?
Author:  FunDanceMan [ Thu May 30, 2013 5:20 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls being hot and cold... is that normal?
Really? She did something really ncie for me the oter day and I never got back to her. She got cold. So I was thinking about calling her / talking to her today since I cant see her. So I should avoid her for a while to get her thinking about me? Or does that just give the other guys she's banging a chance to move in and take the spot?
Author:  LukeDiesel [ Thu May 30, 2013 6:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls being hot and cold... is that normal?
Mate from my experience when a girl goes from hot to cold, she is looking at other options. If she texts far less frequently than she did in the beginning then maybe she is trying to let you down easy. I have a few female friend's that have told me that they will tend to leave long periods between replying to texts to try and start creating distance and ease away. Makes them feel less guilty than saying straight up that they are not interested.

Guys are going to try and move in whatever you do. Your best chance is to pull back and whilst the others are being to clingy and constantly trying to get her attention and hopefully she will start becoming more interested in you because you are the one showing you are different and it will drive her mad wondering why you have backed off. I completely agree that it's a cat and mouse game. Make her chase you.
Author:  n2thevoid [ Thu May 30, 2013 6:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls being hot and cold... is that normal?
Hot/Cold = Push/Pull
Author:  Melodical [ Thu May 30, 2013 6:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls being hot and cold... is that normal?
Quote:
Mate from my experience when a girl goes from hot to cold, she is looking at other options. If she texts far less frequently than she did in the beginning then maybe she is trying to let you down easy. I have a few female friend's that have told me that they will tend to leave long periods between replying to texts to try and start creating distance and ease away. Makes them feel less guilty than saying straight up that they are not interested.

Guys are going to try and move in whatever you do. Your best chance is to pull back and whilst the others are being to clingy and constantly trying to get her attention and hopefully she will start becoming more interested in you because you are the one showing you are different and it will drive her mad wondering why you have backed off. I completely agree that it's a cat and mouse game. Make her chase you.

Good reply. It's the same old story: we always want what we can't have but would rather loose out on getting something if it means we could loose something we already have. Loss aversion is a mental remnant we still carry from the stone age.

years ago when I was first learning PUA there was an HB9 who I used to chat to every week at my local club, for months I pursued her using everyone of my fledgling PUA skills and got a big fat zero with her.

Then one night I tried an opener on a new girl who I had seen a few weeks before and really fancied. The interaction went really well and we KC and NC and arranged to meet again (we eventually went out for nearly a year) the next night I bump into the first girl again but this time I now genuinely have no interest in her any more. She pick this up in like 10 fucking seconds and the mood all changes; now she pursues me and pushes for the validation she once had and at the end of the night invites me back to hers! I didn't go.

And in the philosophical words of my mate "why didn't the stupid cow say that when you were spending all this time trying to bang her?".......Why indeed. :|
Author:  FunDanceMan [ Thu May 30, 2013 9:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls being hot and cold... is that normal?
Quote:
Mate from my experience when a girl goes from hot to cold, she is looking at other options. If she texts far less frequently than she did in the beginning then maybe she is trying to let you down easy. I have a few female friend's that have told me that they will tend to leave long periods between replying to texts to try and start creating distance and ease away. Makes them feel less guilty than saying straight up that they are not interested.

Guys are going to try and move in whatever you do. Your best chance is to pull back and whilst the others are being to clingy and constantly trying to get her attention and hopefully she will start becoming more interested in you because you are the one showing you are different and it will drive her mad wondering why you have backed off. I completely agree that it's a cat and mouse game. Make her chase you.

I think it's this. We've both made it clear that we're seeing other people too.

It's just like you said. Have a good day with me, next day no replies.

Today she sent me a picture of something and I noticed another dude's foot in the picture. Now some people have told me not to let it go slack with other dudes in the picture. But last night I had this LONG ... BORING conversation with her after she saw (who i think would be) that guy. Im thinking of just not talking to her for a few days and re-game like normal.

Im thinking I should back off a little and not be available. The story of your female friends letting a guy down easily is haunting. Im a bit older and wiser now, to realize you gotta take a step back sometimes.
Author:  LukeDiesel [ Thu May 30, 2013 10:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls being hot and cold... is that normal?
Quote:
Quote:
Mate from my experience when a girl goes from hot to cold, she is looking at other options. If she texts far less frequently than she did in the beginning then maybe she is trying to let you down easy. I have a few female friend's that have told me that they will tend to leave long periods between replying to texts to try and start creating distance and ease away. Makes them feel less guilty than saying straight up that they are not interested.

Guys are going to try and move in whatever you do. Your best chance is to pull back and whilst the others are being to clingy and constantly trying to get her attention and hopefully she will start becoming more interested in you because you are the one showing you are different and it will drive her mad wondering why you have backed off. I completely agree that it's a cat and mouse game. Make her chase you.

I think it's this. We've both made it clear that we're seeing other people too.

It's just like you said. Have a good day with me, next day no replies.

Today she sent me a picture of something and I noticed another dude's foot in the picture. Now some people have told me not to let it go slack with other dudes in the picture. But last night I had this LONG ... BORING conversation with her after she saw (who i think would be) that guy. Im thinking of just not talking to her for a few days and re-game like normal.

Im thinking I should back off a little and not be available. The story of your female friends letting a guy down easily is haunting. Im a bit older and wiser now, to realize you gotta take a step back sometimes.

Sounds like you are on the verge of being put in the friendzone. The last thing you want to to be the guy she comes crying to every time something goes bad with some other guy.

You might be able to save it though. Pull back, be less available. Ease your way back in there if she starts showing interest again. Don't rush back if she starts warming up because it will give the impression that she can pick you up and put you down whenever she wants.

Good Luck
Author:  FunDanceMan [ Fri May 31, 2013 2:56 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls being hot and cold... is that normal?
Really?

I talk to her almost everyday. Never imagined it would get to that. While we are sexual, it feels dwindling.

So it IS a good idea not to call her for 3-4 days suddenly? Or do I ease into it? She already knows Im talking to and getting play from other girls.

Im worried because sometimes people say, dont go cold you should continue talking or shes gunna solidfy with other guys. But I feel like Im being too available. Talked to her for 2 hrs last night.
Author:  DM [ Fri May 31, 2013 7:24 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls being hot and cold... is that normal?
Exact same problem i had in the past. Either way it reminded me of a something someone once said (it was either me or tupac, not sure :P )

'If you love something let it go. If it comes back to you it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was.'
Author:  Betamax [ Fri May 31, 2013 1:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls being hot and cold... is that normal?
Quote:
Im worried because sometimes people say, dont go cold you should continue talking or shes gunna solidfy with other guys.
LOL! Who the hell said that? Some little beta bitches?
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