I originally posted this one as a FR, but it's not. It's a newbie question and I'm hopelessly confused. She's another girl from dancing, and I'm getting a shotgun blast of signals but can't figure out what they mean. Part of the problem is that most of them seem to have multiple contradictory interpretations and I have no way of guessing which is more likely!! How do you think I should interpret them, and how can I get it to a K+-close?
Warning, this list is long...
The background:
* She's 20, I'm 25, her boyfriend is 35.
* It's a long distance relationship.
* All three of us are into competitive dancing, i.e. lots of kino
The signs (IOIs? Anti-IOIs?), in no particular order:
* She frequently brings up her current bf around me.
* She also has mentioned to me and a second time to someone else while I was there how she flirted with other guys at a recent party and "could have slept with any of them".
* Lots of kino, shoulder touches and leaning in etc. But she is a dancer.
* She seems very keen to dance with me, which is odd - I'm not nearly as good a dancer as her or the other guys around.
* I often feel like she's gaming me, trying playfully to bend me to her will.
* At one party we and others were talking about what makes girls/guys attractive. For a second or so she wrapped herself around me and then let go. This was just after she had said that when she gets drunk all she wants is sex. She was sober when she said this. She's also said a couple of times when I'm afround that she hasn't got drunk in a long while, in a wistful kind of "I want to way".
* Some of the times I've tried to isolate her, but had no luck - she looks like she's about to come, e.g. "I don't feel like standing anymore, let's go find somewhere to sit down", she looks like she will follow, but then doesn't.
* Another time I isolated her perfectly, but nothing came of it. I persuaded other friends to leave us, I walked her home. The "I need to use your bathroom" line got me inside, and she offered me a drink, poured us both one. I tried to edge her towards having more but she didn't, and I didn't push it too hard, it would have been too blatant in the context of the drunk=sex comment she had made earlier in the night. We talked about relationships and attractiveness some more, what part of each other's and our own bodies we liked the most. I said her chin, it is really cute. I realise now I should have not told her but touched her where I thought was cutest... She gave me some of her home made cookies to eat there. But we just talked. For 2+ hours. Which makes me think LJBF is dangerously near... This annoyed me, so close... I think one big problem is that she was sitting on her bed and I was sitting on a chair facing her directly. I should have at least moved the chair to be right angles to her bed, and nearer to it.
* The goodbye hug from this night was half offered by me, just an extended arm, converted into a full hug offer from her (both arms spread out, and coming towards me). The hug was reasonably solid and not too short but it wasn't prolonged and there was no contact below the lower stomach. Which for a dancer is very little contact at all. But would dancing standards apply in this case?
* She's also talked about how she likes to play guys. Am I being gamed myself???
* She, me and one other guy grabbed fast food. Initially I wasn't going to get anything, proclaiming not hungry but later admitting to him (she prob overheard?) it was because I had set very ambitious savings goals (>1/4 monthly income as savings). She insisted on getting me something, so I accepted and just had what she was having. I didn't want to go to cheap, and I definitely didn't want to go to expensive.
* I also forgot to mention that before the party where she flirted with everyone except me (although maybe I didn't take advantage of one opportunity where she was maybe trying to start something up with me. Should I take advantage of such opportunities?), over dinner with a third friend and while that friend was away, she said very quietly to me that she really liked me. My response to this was just "thank you", ala "The Game", but I think I weakened that horribly by shortly after quietly admitting I thought she was as well.
* On the long walk back to her house we had a long conversation about life, how it is so short and you should just go for it. I shared a story of how I was really badly injured in a car crash one time, and touched her hand to a scar on my neck. We talked about it and recovering from it, and also her life. So we've done all the deep talking thing, and like I said, when we got to her house and she said to come into her room I was very hopeful, but then I guess I screwed it up... Any ideas/thoughts on exactly how?
* She talks a lot to me about how she has this really hot chemistry with another guy who dances too. Is she ranking me against other guys, or what's going on here...?
* And thinking back on the flirting with other guys/could have taken any of them home, she said to me and a fourth guy that that would have been too easy, that it was boring. Was this a coded message of some kind to me??? Confused!!!
I think that's about everything. So on the one hand I worry I'm falling into the LJBF trap. On the other it feels like it's very very close, but I'm not sure or don't have enough balls to know what the next step should be. And if/when I take it somewhere I'll be sure to write a good FR
How do you guys read this, and what detail more do you need? And what do you think I should do??
P