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Am I reading this right?
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Author:  Buda Bing [ Tue May 21, 2013 7:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Am I reading this right?
Theres this girl at the gym, cute, fresh in from Russia just 2 years, like me she is very fit, heavy accent but speaks fluent english.

We've seen each other around the gym for a while, get to talking/flirting and she's very receptive and things seem to be going well. A few days pass I see her again and ask for her number. She says she has a boyfriend. I originally thought I misjudged her interest level but I soon after learned yes she actually does have a boyfriend.

I said ok no problem and said "still friends?" and held out my hand and shook hers. She said ok.

I don't see her talking to any other guys at the gym. My thoughts are 1. She works out like an athlete similar to me so not motivated to stop pace of workout 2. She cute but not beautiful 3. She a new foreigner so out of her element.

The boyfriend issue was I think a circumstantial rejection and not that she wasn't interested in me.

Now I see her at the gym and theres some things I am noticing;

1. After I asked for her number the subsequent times I saw her she was a little distant but not excessively. Elevated sexual tension or oppressed because I broke her comfort zone? Now I was pretty attracted to this girl so I was disappointed I couldn't get her number so I gotta admit I was a little distant myself.

2. Lately ( after I asked for her # ) she's been showing up at the gym dressed better in sexier workout outfits which she never did before. Example is one of those two piece (halter top?) workout outfits in hot pink color. I was still a little distant regardless and not openly giving that too much attention.

3. She starts showing up with her boyfiend to do workouts a lot now where she didn't do that before I asked for her number.

4. While working out with her boyfriend I see her covertly trying to look at me and when I catch her she looks away.

5. She excessively keeps breaking my personal space. Example instead of taking the shortest route to the next close workout machine she walks all the way around the long way passes in front of me and goes to the machine she could have gotten to 10x easier.

6. She seems lackluster around her boyfriend. Very serious. No jokes. No smiles, maybe one smirk in the multiple times I've seen her with him.

7. She tried to get my attention as she was walking by to say hello to me when she was with her boyfriend.

Questions; Which one is more likely?

1. She likes me (dressing more provocatively after I asked for her # and other things listed above) and is interested but she has no other guys to talk to to catch my attention back to her so she is falling back on her boyfriend that she has only some interest in, who she finds kind of boring, to workout with her to raise her social value. She was put on the spot by me when I asked for her number to take her out and had to mention her boyfriend because she had to be a stand up honest girl. However, she wants me to proceed further.

2. She was somewhat interested but she has a boyfriend, end of story.

--------------

Also;

3. Did I unintentionally Friend Zoned her when I said "Still friends?" and shook her hand and that made her feel less validated as a woman so now she's trying to revalidate herself in the ways listed above.

Any help appreciated. Thanks.
Author:  CharlesFinley [ Tue May 21, 2013 7:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I reading this right?
#2 is most likely.

I think you're reading the situation the way you WANT to read the situation, and conveying those details.

Or maybe she just likes the attention.

Regardless, act like you don't give a fuck and carry on.
Author:  Themagicalone [ Tue May 21, 2013 10:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I reading this right?
Quote:
#2 is most likely.

I think you're reading the situation the way you WANT to read the situation, and conveying those details.

Or maybe she just likes the attention.

Regardless, act like you don't give a fuck and carry on.
EXACTLY
Author:  Pickwick [ Wed May 22, 2013 12:28 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I reading this right?
Option 3: She wants your attention more than she wants you.

She dresses better, tries to look at you, tries to walk by you. She has to act more distant to follow through with her rejection, but who doesn't want attention? Now I don't know her, having lived in Russia, I can tell you that if she was interested she would have given you her phone number despite having a boyfriend. It's just not that much of a commitment.

The real question is: why did you respond the way you responded? She didn't reject you. From your words, she didn't even say no. Even if she did, that's not rejection. Rejection happens when she stop talking to you and walks away.

Either way, keep acting uninterested. Her desire for attention will eventually open new opportunities for you.
Author:  DeepBluesy [ Wed May 22, 2013 12:45 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I reading this right?
This might seem like revisionist history, but when she said she had a boyfriend it is very easy to just ask her flat out "Would you like another one?"

Think about it. Men and women are not so different in this regard. If you had a girlfriend and some hot chick asked you "Would you like another one?" you would probably get really excited even if you didn't think you could pull it off logistically.

I have used this line successfully to bust through the boyfriend shield and in the end she left her boyfriend for me. We had a long sexual relationship.

Like I said though, the golden opportunity has passed and you kind of have to have an iron stomach to ask something so bold. It's not like you ask with a smirk or sarcastically. Just seriously, deadpan ask it. Would you like another boyfriend? What is the worst she can say? No. And you say fair enough. At that point move on GFTOW and remember there are plenty of fish in the sea.

You could work this question into conversation with her relatively easily. But I'll let you think it through.
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