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| My Experience Failing with Texting. https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=162688 |
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| Author: | timber22 [ Tue May 21, 2013 2:47 am ] |
| Post subject: | My Experience Failing with Texting. |
Hello all, I'm admittedly a dating noob, having come off two long term relationships (4+ years). I'm a 25 male, in good shape (marathoner/triathlete) and decently educated. But I pretty much suck at texting women/reading women/and the dating process in general. I should preface all of this by saying I've read 5 of Chase's articles, and these really helped, but I failed to read them before any of this happened. So Basically a few days ago on Thursday, I went out with a girl who I called and asked out on a date. She's three years younger than me if that's at all relevant. Our first date was simple enough, just a walk at a local park. She had to work later that day (at 4 pm), so we met at 12 and walked until 3. We had great conversation, but I didn't use much kino or get very physical with her (Yes, I realize that would have been smart to do. I'm open to tips on how to initiate this on a first date--for whatever reason it feels too weird to me when I've just met a girl). So we're walking and talking, and I just tried to enjoy myself and have fun. I figure what's the worst that can happen. We ended up having very fluid conversation and talked about a lot of stuff. When she found out my age, she mentioned that it was good that I was older since she had only dated guys younger than her and that didn't work out, so "it was cool that I was older." (I'm 25 and she's 22.). This did provoke the subject of her ex-boyfriend, whom she talked about for a little bit. That sucked, but I just listened and learned when they broke up and for what reason. After the walk, we were driving back and I was pretty famished. I asked her if she wanted to grab some Taco Bell (Ahhh yes, good ol' Taco bell!) and she agreed. We ate for a bit. It enhanced the date slightly and conversation continued. Since it was getting close to 3, we returned back to our vehicles. At that moment, I moved in for the kiss and landed one on her lips. She smiled and I told her that we should try to meet up sometime next week. We tentatively set a date for Thursday. She agreed and we both left. Shortly after this is where I just failed. Fast forward a few hours after I get back... I text her: "Hey Kelly. it was fun seeing you today. Although I did earn a ticket on the way home..." That went well enough and she ended up texting me back twice a bit later asking about the ticket. I was busy and basically fell asleep before I could respond. So in the morning, I responded: "Oh it looks like I passed out before I got your message. Yeah, I tried to befriend the officer, but it was a no-go." I go on about what I was doing etc. At this point, I have no idea what I am doing via text. I hadn't read any of Chase's articles and so she keeps texting me and I foolishly keep responding. She tells me about her day, and I write long awkward texts that suck, and it culminates with my comment: "What happened to the nice old lady stereotype?" and her responding "It's dead and gone." I pretty much took this to be an end to the conversation, and I knew I hadn't handled that conversation well. Nevertheless, the following day on Saturday, instead of taking the loss and changing my behavior, I opted to press on! I knew that the previous day (Friday) she was going to a baseball game. So I thought: "Hey, maybe I should text her in the morning (Saturday) and ask her how the game went." Note that this is 2 days after our first date, which was on Thursday. At the time, I hadn't heard of the cold text and I really had no idea what I was doing or what I thought I would accomplish by texting her. Funny how that is for someone just starting out. So Basically, she tells me that she LOVED the game and even got on TV. And me being the noob that I am, I sent her a double text...first telling her how great it was that she was on TV and second letting her know about my day (even though she hadn't asked because why the hell not?) She only sends one text message back saying: "Oh darn haha". Once again, I take it that that's the end of the conversation. I don't send any more messages. Her last message was sent on Saturday morning and I haven't replied since. It's now Monday at 10:00 PM and I haven't heard from her. Originally, she had initiated texts and sent several messages. Now I feel that I've both reversed that dynamic and lost value in her eyes. I'm thinking that I probably came off as needy or clingy with my last series of texts. In any case, I decided it was best to wait at least 3 days before making a move. As for the move, I'm not sure what to do. I figured that if she didn't text me after those 3 days, I would probably call her and leave a chill voicemail asking her if she's up for a date on Thursday. If she did text me, however, I'd feel a lot better about initiating contact. I also considered just letting her go and accepting the fact that I messed up and I should move on and learn from my mistakes. So, what do you think about the situation? How badly did I mess up with my last series of texts? (double text/texting on a weekend/cold text/telling her how great she was) Does anyone have tips on how they would respond, and if they have experienced something similar in the past and how they dealt with it. Thanks. |
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| Author: | hunchbak1982 [ Tue May 21, 2013 4:51 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: My Experience Failing with Texting. |
you definitley mest up in the part that you were contacting her too much after the date, because tht type of convo thru text that u had comes off as something her neighbor friend would do not her knight in shiny armor. after a date you should always give her some space and time to think of you but since you had already set up a second date on the first date which some say its kinda desperate, but i really think its bad because its better to let her think a bit if you liked her for a second date, i would say you finally contact her as agreed and see how it goes. you already messed up a bit. now just find out if shes thinking of you for a second date. if you get a no, next her. this is coming from a beta male that has read a bit of doc love thru out the years and that doesnt suffer from oneitis anymore plus my common sense. oh and one important thing too if you go on a second date never tell her that you like her company or shit like that. even better you should be testing other women out to see if you can catch something better. always keep it light and simple. |
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| Author: | timber22 [ Tue May 21, 2013 2:07 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: My Experience Failing with Texting. |
Quote: you definitley mest up in the part that you were contacting her too much after the date, because tht type of convo thru text that u had comes off as something her neighbor friend would do not her knight in shiny armor. after a date you should always give her some space and time to think of you but since you had already set up a second date on the first date which some say its kinda desperate, but i really think its bad because its better to let her think a bit if you liked her for a second date, i would say you finally contact her as agreed and see how it goes. you already messed up a bit. now just find out if shes thinking of you for a second date. if you get a no, next her. this is coming from a beta male that has read a bit of doc love thru out the years and that doesnt suffer from oneitis anymore plus my common sense. oh and one important thing too if you go on a second date never tell her that you like her company or shit like that. even better you should be testing other women out to see if you can catch something better. always keep it light and simple.
Yeah, I guess you're right. I know I messed up pretty bad, especially towards the end of the interaction. I never really thought that if I text her as a friend/neighbor, then that's what I end up becoming. Thanks for mentioning that. I know it sounds obvious enough, but nothing is obvious when you are new to texting, believe me. I need everything spelled out. When you say to contact her about the second date-- which was very tenuous. It was basically a really quick-- "we should do this again." "Ok, I'd like that." I told her I was busy most of the early week, but perhaps Thursday and she said that would work. My memory is fuzzy though and I think she had work on some time on Thursday, so it's not like a completely open day. But I was too busy on other days where she was free. Is it best to go for the cold call? Or is a text the way to go? I realize that, like you said, I may just be best served moving on after I've messed up so much. Thanks for the help. |
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| Author: | hunchbak1982 [ Tue May 21, 2013 5:14 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: My Experience Failing with Texting. |
which ever makes you more confortable but i would go for the call |
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