PUA Forum :: I really like this girl... how should I tell her?

Ok, so I know this girl - she's quite hot, she doesn't have a BF and she seems interested in me. I would like to date her and have a LTR with her.

I've thought about telling her how much I like her, but after doing a bit of reading, the general advice from the pick-up community is NOT to tell a girl that you like her as it kills attraction and it gives her all the power and control.

What do you think I should do?

Quote:

Absolutely ask her to come out with you

But QUALIFY her to be your girlfriend.

If you want a girl who is adventurous, as her something like "do you like to travel?" "where too?" type of questions... feed off her answer by having stories from places you've traveled and create conversation and emotional connection. Compliment her on the qualities you like. That is how you can tell her you like her.

She tells you where she likes to travel.... you would say something like "You seem very adventurous, I like that about you." Next conversation topic. Talk about where she's traveled to.

People appreciate things more that they work for. Example... You could buy a nice car for yourself... or your parents could buy a nice car for you... You will take better care of it if you worked for it and bought it yourself. Make her work for you.

Quote:

I agree with everything except the part where you said "I like that about you"...this is similar to saying "I like you"..I would leave that part out.

It's complimenting her personality. She DOES have to know that you like her for more than just a sexual object.

Quote:

Anyway, a few hours later, the target went home with some random dude from the club ... Oh well, nice guys finish last I guess.

Author:	David28 [ Tue May 14, 2013 8:37 pm ]
Post subject:	I really like this girl... how should I tell her?
Ok, so I know this girl - she's quite hot, she doesn't have a BF and she seems interested in me. I would like to date her and have a LTR with her. I've thought about telling her how much I like her, but after doing a bit of reading, the general advice from the pick-up community is NOT to tell a girl that you like her as it kills attraction and it gives her all the power and control. What do you think I should do?

Author:	zmbcm1 [ Tue May 14, 2013 9:38 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I really like this girl... how should I tell her?
Quote: Ok, so I know this girl - she's quite hot, she doesn't have a BF and she seems interested in me. I would like to date her and have a LTR with her. I've thought about telling her how much I like her, but after doing a bit of reading, the general advice from the pick-up community is NOT to tell a girl that you like her as it kills attraction and it gives her all the power and control. What do you think I should do? Q:"how should i tell her" A: you shouldn't. Ask her out. And by that I don't mean to a super serious dinner. Invite her to go do something that you normally do, but together. Say you wind surf. Invite her to join you windsurfing. Escalate from there. That, or just coffee. Make sure she pays for her own though.

Author:	Jay (Majik) [ Tue May 14, 2013 9:44 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I really like this girl... how should I tell her?
Quote: Ok, so I know this girl - she's quite hot, she doesn't have a BF and she seems interested in me. I would like to date her and have a LTR with her. I've thought about telling her how much I like her, but after doing a bit of reading, the general advice from the pick-up community is NOT to tell a girl that you like her as it kills attraction and it gives her all the power and control. What do you think I should do? Absolutely ask her to come out with you But QUALIFY her to be your girlfriend. If you want a girl who is adventurous, as her something like "do you like to travel?" "where too?" type of questions... feed off her answer by having stories from places you've traveled and create conversation and emotional connection. Compliment her on the qualities you like. That is how you can tell her you like her. She tells you where she likes to travel.... you would say something like "You seem very adventurous, I like that about you." Next conversation topic. Talk about where she's traveled to. People appreciate things more that they work for. Example... You could buy a nice car for yourself... or your parents could buy a nice car for you... You will take better care of it if you worked for it and bought it yourself. Make her work for you.

Author:	bartm [ Tue May 14, 2013 10:35 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I really like this girl... how should I tell her?
Quote: Quote: Ok, so I know this girl - she's quite hot, she doesn't have a BF and she seems interested in me. I would like to date her and have a LTR with her. I've thought about telling her how much I like her, but after doing a bit of reading, the general advice from the pick-up community is NOT to tell a girl that you like her as it kills attraction and it gives her all the power and control. What do you think I should do? Absolutely ask her to come out with you But QUALIFY her to be your girlfriend. If you want a girl who is adventurous, as her something like "do you like to travel?" "where too?" type of questions... feed off her answer by having stories from places you've traveled and create conversation and emotional connection. Compliment her on the qualities you like. That is how you can tell her you like her. She tells you where she likes to travel.... you would say something like "You seem very adventurous, I like that about you." Next conversation topic. Talk about where she's traveled to. People appreciate things more that they work for. Example... You could buy a nice car for yourself... or your parents could buy a nice car for you... You will take better care of it if you worked for it and bought it yourself. Make her work for you. I agree with everything except the part where you said "I like that about you"...this is similar to saying "I like you"..I would leave that part out.

Author:	Jay (Majik) [ Tue May 14, 2013 10:42 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I really like this girl... how should I tell her?
Quote: Quote: Quote: Ok, so I know this girl - she's quite hot, she doesn't have a BF and she seems interested in me. I would like to date her and have a LTR with her. I've thought about telling her how much I like her, but after doing a bit of reading, the general advice from the pick-up community is NOT to tell a girl that you like her as it kills attraction and it gives her all the power and control. What do you think I should do? Absolutely ask her to come out with you But QUALIFY her to be your girlfriend. If you want a girl who is adventurous, as her something like "do you like to travel?" "where too?" type of questions... feed off her answer by having stories from places you've traveled and create conversation and emotional connection. Compliment her on the qualities you like. That is how you can tell her you like her. She tells you where she likes to travel.... you would say something like "You seem very adventurous, I like that about you." Next conversation topic. Talk about where she's traveled to. People appreciate things more that they work for. Example... You could buy a nice car for yourself... or your parents could buy a nice car for you... You will take better care of it if you worked for it and bought it yourself. Make her work for you. I agree with everything except the part where you said "I like that about you"...this is similar to saying "I like you"..I would leave that part out. It's complimenting her personality. She DOES have to know that you like her for more than just a sexual object.

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Author:	bartm [ Tue May 14, 2013 10:57 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I really like this girl... how should I tell her?
Quote: It's complimenting her personality. She DOES have to know that you like her for more than just a sexual object. I dont mean to turn this into an argument, it's just a matter of opinion, but I would not say that. She will know you like her because you are hanging out with her.

Author:	David28 [ Wed May 15, 2013 8:38 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I really like this girl... how should I tell her?
Quote: Quote: Ok, so I know this girl - she's quite hot, she doesn't have a BF and she seems interested in me. I would like to date her and have a LTR with her. I've thought about telling her how much I like her, but after doing a bit of reading, the general advice from the pick-up community is NOT to tell a girl that you like her as it kills attraction and it gives her all the power and control. What do you think I should do? Absolutely ask her to come out with you But QUALIFY her to be your girlfriend. If you want a girl who is adventurous, as her something like "do you like to travel?" "where too?" type of questions... feed off her answer by having stories from places you've traveled and create conversation and emotional connection. Compliment her on the qualities you like. That is how you can tell her you like her. She tells you where she likes to travel.... you would say something like "You seem very adventurous, I like that about you." Next conversation topic. Talk about where she's traveled to. People appreciate things more that they work for. Example... You could buy a nice car for yourself... or your parents could buy a nice car for you... You will take better care of it if you worked for it and bought it yourself. Make her work for you. Thanks, this makes a lot of sense. The thing is though I've already built up an emotional connection. I've already thrown out compliments and said things like "you're funny, I like that about you", etc. I've decided that it's probably best not to pour my heart out to her telling her directly how much I like her as it will kill the attraction. However, at the same time, I'm not sure exactly how I should ask her out... How would you guys go about it? What exactly would you say? Bear in mind this is not a one night stand; I've already built an emotional connection with this girl and I would like to have a LTR with her.

Author:	User13247 [ Wed May 15, 2013 9:06 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I really like this girl... how should I tell her?
A relationship without sex is a friendship. Attraction is key, don't say 'I like you', say 'I like your ass'. Okay, maybe not that crudely, but being flirtatious and sexual is an aspect you cannot overlook. You find her attractive, great, but to have sex with her, she must also find you attractive. Focus on that first. Chances are, however, that you will not succeed in doing so, so don't put all your eggs in one basket either. Play the field, GFTOW.

Author:	ChitownMaverick [ Thu May 16, 2013 7:51 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I really like this girl... how should I tell her?
When you're teasing and bantering with her, make fun of her and tell her it's super obvious she likes you. When she asks how, tell her it's something about the way she looks at you, that makes you feel like a piece of meat in the eye of a hungry hungry predator. Flip that shit. Girls know when you like them. Also cut out the future-projections...you have no idea if you want this girl to be your girlfriend. What if you're not compatible in bed? What if she hates giving blow jobs? What if she doesn't even shave her pussy? Just fuck her a few times before you decide on a future together with her...that's heading off towards Disneyland.

Author:	David28 [ Fri May 17, 2013 2:57 am ]
Post subject:	Re: I really like this girl... how should I tell her?
Ok, I was out with this girl and some mutual friends again tonight and it turned into a total disaster! Things started off well - straight away, she asked for my number, so we both swapped phone numbers and were dancing together for a while, with the usual flirting back and forth. However, soon after she kind of ignored me a bit. In hindsight, I think this was down to one of her cockblocking friends who doesn't get along with me and acts like a total bitch, who hasn't always been there on previous occasions, but was there tonight unfortunately. Anyway, a few hours later, the target went home with some random dude from the club, so I'm pretty pissed off right now to say the least. I guess its just a case of oneitis, but I did genuinely like this girl and saw her as potential LTR material. Oh well, nice guys finish last I guess.

Author:	User13247 [ Wed May 22, 2013 10:51 am ]
Post subject:	Re: I really like this girl... how should I tell her?
Quote: Anyway, a few hours later, the target went home with some random dude from the club ... Oh well, nice guys finish last I guess. Wrong, slow guys finish last. You could have been that dude if you had acted faster and with more leadership, not if you had acted meaner or less considerate.

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