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girlfriend has no income
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Author:  darrryll [ Mon May 13, 2013 10:01 pm ]
Post subject:  girlfriend has no income
so nothing really wrong with this one: good looking, good sex, fun to go out with, smart, ...

Only thing is we have different life standards. I was always working my ass off while in college and spending like was worth a million bucks :) Now I have a nice job and i still party like crazy on weekends ...

She's in college and lives with her parents and they are more a fan of "study now, work later ", they just pay all expenses and she gets a minimal allowance. Last time we went out for a bite and the SPAM gave her a nice "insuficient funds" :) never seen anyone look so ashamed in their lives :). In the end I solved it by paying for the dinner and making a next date to taste her legendary lasagna :)

I buy my friends drinks all the time (so I really dont mind the money). But i wouldn't want her to take things for granted. I know there will be more situations like this and I dont feel like blowing an insanely nice thing up for a temporary problem ...

So any ideas on how to pay for things and not have them take things for granted in the long run or create a power position over her ...
Author:  Snarg [ Tue May 14, 2013 12:06 am ]
Post subject:  Re: girlfriend has no income
Maybe you could have her pay for the less expensive stuff. For example, you pay for dinner, then she pays for ice cream afterward.
Author:  CharlesFinley [ Tue May 14, 2013 12:17 am ]
Post subject:  Re: girlfriend has no income
Snarg is bang on... I dated a girl in almost this exact situation maybe 7 or 8 yrs ago. Have her pay for the small stuff, as long a you truly don't mind and have the funds.

Be sure she's not getting too used to it or she'll take it/you for granted.

Sucks slightly that you're basically on the hook for the bigger ticket items but I guess it depends how into her you are...
Author:  neo87 [ Tue May 14, 2013 3:37 am ]
Post subject:  Re: girlfriend has no income
Quote:
So any ideas on how to pay for things and not have them take things for granted in the long run or create a power position over her ...
First, don't look at it as creating a power position over her. This puts you in the wrong mindset of making little things into games. The above advice is good as long as it's something you want to do. For example, I don't really enjoy desert so I won't make a girl pay for ice cream after dinner as it's not something I would want. If I did ask for ice cream it would be just to get her to pay which I think is wrong.

Just keep things balanced. It's about effort more than money. If she can't pay for dinner does she try to do nice things for you? Make sure she's putting in as much effort as you are.
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