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am i in the wrong?
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Author:  cerebralassassin [ Sun May 12, 2013 3:30 pm ]
Post subject:  am i in the wrong?

i ll need to give a background. i dated someone on and off for 8 years, we dated for 4 years broke up for 2 (she found someone else) then i was sleeping with her casually for another 2 years. anyway 8 months ago she basically said we cant have sex anymore because in case she finds someone else and she wants to be friends. she basically since then turned up at my house now and again to eat my food, watch my tv but not get anything from her not through the lack of trying(she thought her company was good enough) only a kiss on the cheek.
anyways she messaged me a few weeks ago to say shes met someone, ok fine fair enough am i ok about it, not really but i said yes im fine with it. but hadnt messaged her since

fast forward to yesterday she text me to ask 'are you not talking to me?' i ignored it.
this morning she sent me the same thing on facebook. so i basically told her im distancing myself from her, she then called me a liar for telling her i was fine with it and that she didnt understand the problem. part of the problem is i have feelings for her and dont want it rubbed in shes in a new relationship, what did she expect me to invite both of them to dinner or to my house not going to happen, being honest he could be the greatest guy on the planet but im still going to dislike him. i know that sounds sulky. am i wrong to cut off ties with her, our relationship was based around sex if we aint got that whats left. in the long run im thinking of her too do you think loverboy will like her hanging around the ex

Author:  Don Horneone [ Sun May 12, 2013 5:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: am i in the wrong?

She doesn't sound great...

Author:  n2thevoid [ Sun May 12, 2013 5:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: am i in the wrong?

Move on, she's not worth your time. Letting go can be one of the most liberating things you can do (for yourself).

Author:  CharlesFinley [ Sun May 12, 2013 6:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: am i in the wrong?

You don't sound in the wrong to me based on the info you provided.

Author:  Pickwick [ Sun May 12, 2013 6:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: am i in the wrong?

You're doing the right thing. Being in the same position in the past, I would suggest to completely cut off all ties with her- delete her number, delete her off Facebook, unfollow her on Twitter. You can respond to her at this point, but don't be initiating anything. If she asks to kick it, use your own judgment; I would, however, go against it.

Take care of yourself: start focusing more on work/school, interests, hobbies. People will tell you to go fuck a bunch of girls, but don't do that yet. Just take care of yourself. Doing so will inevitably attract girls to you.

Author:  cerebralassassin [ Sun May 12, 2013 7:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: am i in the wrong?

the bit that gets me is did she expect me to be pals with him, we're both going to dislike each other hes gonna dislike me because i used to bang her, and im gonna dislike him cos hes currently banging her. she told me when she announced she was seeing him that ive told him all about you.. im sorry but whats my business got to do with him.

what does she expect us all to go out to dinner, or to sit on my bed whilst watching films all 3 of us or all 3 of us to go pictures together. how delusional is she

Author:  Don Horneone [ Sun May 12, 2013 9:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: am i in the wrong?

Don't let it get under your skin man. Pickwick's dead right. Stop focusing on her and focus on you.

Author:  Pickwick [ Sun May 12, 2013 11:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: am i in the wrong?

She's a female. She's doing her own thing. If she thinks telling him that you guys fucked all the time is the right thing to do, more power to her. I bet though, that she said "I've told him all about you" mainly to see your reaction. Probably pull a string or two. Another reason could be was to make the situation less awkward between you guys. When she said "I'm seeing him" she probably wanted to make it seem as casual as possible, so she threw in yeah "I told him all about you" and blahblahblah to make it less weird. That way she is kind of including you in the relationship they have to make you feel better.

I know that can fuck with your head, but it's female logic. I spent my last three lives trying to figure that shit out- clearly it's still in process.

Obviously don't chill with them.

Reason 1, why would you. There are a lot of better things to do.
Consequently, reason 1.5 is when you do these better things, you're showing her that you have better shit to do. Don't put up with her bullshit. She can't have her cake and eat it too.

Reason 2, it's clearly not something you would enjoy doing, and I am sure it's not something her new homie would enjoy doing either.

She's a typical witchy woman who doesn't know what she wants and wants to keep everyone happy. Don't fall into her trap and do your thing.

Good luck.

Author:  cerebralassassin [ Tue May 14, 2013 5:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: am i in the wrong?

thankfully she hasnt messaged me since sunday, she actually sent me in her last message let me know when you grow up and can deal with it. ive dealt with it.. thats not the issue. i wont bow to her demands, i hope she lives happily ever after as of this moment i dont give a shit

Author:  n2thevoid [ Tue May 14, 2013 6:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: am i in the wrong?

Quote:
thankfully she hasnt messaged me since sunday, she actually sent me in her last message let me know when you grow up and can deal with it. ive dealt with it.. thats not the issue. i wont bow to her demands, i hope she lives happily ever after as of this moment i dont give a shit
Said it before, and I'll say it again, MOVE ON.
You do apparently give a shit. Time to let go.

Author:  Don Horneone [ Tue May 14, 2013 7:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: am i in the wrong?

Quote:
let me know when you grow up and can deal with it
You don't let a girl talk to you like that man, that's disrespect and bad character, plain and simple. You're right to be done with her.

Author:  dragonAlpha [ Tue May 14, 2013 8:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: am i in the wrong?

You need a confidence boost. I say go out and pick up some chicks, like as many as it takes to make you feel invincible. And subtly let her know about it, either by you mentioning it or by a mutual friend or something like that. Either way, you get confidence, and you're putting pressure on her to decide whether she wants this new guy or wants you back, considering that now you will have proven that you don't need her to get laid.

Author:  zmbcm1 [ Tue May 14, 2013 8:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: am i in the wrong?

You *were* in the wrong, for not throwing this girl out of your life the moment she wanted to break up. You are all good now. Congratulations, enjoy your newfound freedom. My advice; archive her in the back of your mind and don't let her creep back in to your life.

Author:  David28 [ Tue May 14, 2013 9:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: am i in the wrong?

Quote:
She's a typical witchy woman who doesn't know what she wants and wants to keep everyone happy. Don't fall into her trap and do your thing.

I agree with the above advice, she doesn't know what she wants! I hate women like that- they usually require far too much drama and emotional energy... better off to avoid those types- plus there are better looking women with decent personalities out there which you should concentrate on!

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