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Advice on Undecided Girl
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Author:  Stoic78 [ Sun Apr 21, 2013 10:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Advice on Undecided Girl

Howdy all!

This is my first time posting here. I am by no means a PUA and I meet women here and there, but this last one has me perplexed and figured it wouldn't hurt to see what you all had to say about the situation.

I am in a bowling league and I have seen this girl there for the past few months watching her boyfriend bowl. All I do is say hello once in a while to her, nothing serious just nonchalantly. About 4 weeks ago we are flirting back and forth just by staring at each other and she keeps looking back over at me and making faces and what not. I am 34 and she is 27. So, I just go ahead and write my name and number down on this piece of paper and walk up to her while she is sitting down and no one is really looking and just drop my number to her next to her purse and just walk away.

The next day at work I get a text message saying.....You have some pretty huge balls for dropping your number to me in front of my boyfriend and his family, but I like that.

We text back and forth a bit as I try to find out what her story is. She says that her and her boyfriend have not been getting along for a while and she was going to break up with him anyways soon. She ends up breaking up with the guy that week. The downside is that him and her are stuck on an apartment lease until August. So she starts staying at some friends house here and there while we continue to text, chat and get to know each other better. First two times we meet it is very casual. We grabbed margarita's for like two hours the first time and then the second time we grabbed ice cream and both times we just continue to talk and get to know each other. The third time we actually go on a real date which was about a week or so ago on a Saturday night. I took her to a nice dinner and we went to a bar afterwards and after that we came back to my place. We ended up having sex that night, she stayed the night and it was all good. She then comes over the next night on a Sunday evening for a cook out. I grill out and make some burgers and she wanted to watch Spartacus as she has never seen the show, so I said sure why not. We end up having sex that night in the living room and she stays the night again. This whole time over these past 4 weeks she has been saying how awesome I am and that she doesn't understand why I do not have any downfalls. She starts talking about plans for things we could do this summer like ball games and festivals and shit. I tell her that is very kind of her and I don't really get all cocky about it as I am more of a humble kind of guy.

So at this point I am feeling GREAT about myself! This woman seems like she is really into me, she is cool, fun, good in the sack so I am feeling pretty lucky. Then the next day which was a Monday, she was stuck at her apartment as she had no where else to stay that night and she ended up having a long talk with her ex boyfriend she says since he lives in the apartment as well. I don't really hear from her Monday night at all other then a text from her saying, she is sad. So Tuesday morning she lets me know that she is going to try and give her ex one more try and see if they can work things out and it wouldn't be fair to me if her and I went out on dates anymore right now. I told her that it sucks "losing" to her guy. She said that I didn't lose anything, it just isn't the right time right now.

So......I personally think she is confused and also feels kind of trapped since she is in that lease with that guy. I obviously like the girl and have had a great time with her so it kind of blows she did a 180 so quickly. What am I supposed to do? Do I just cut all contact with her all together and hope she comes around some day and contacts me? Do I just send a random text here and there once in a while to stay distant, but not forgotten? I am guessing no, but do I go the ultimatum route and say look......you said I am so "awesome" is it him or me kind of deal?

Any advice or suggestions are appreciated. I normally wouldn't care if this happened with other women, but this one I actually liked lol.

Author:  Wizzay [ Mon Apr 22, 2013 12:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Advice on Undecided Girl

Damned woman, I don't know if she really liked you or just saw you as a rebound to get over her ex, I don't know. What I sure as hell know is do not give an ultimatum because she already chose. It'll then be like this: " Sorry im going back to my ex!" you : "Chose me or him" she: "I told you my ex" .

What I do suggest doing is going cold,distant and don't initiate any form of communication until she does it. Even if you see her at bowling again, be sure to have fun and let her see it. When she does initiate, reply, but ask her how its going with her and her bf and if she is still with him, ignore her, make it clear you don't want to be friends because you're not a pussy. Lets hope by that time you will have found another girl that 'll make you feel as good.

Author:  Stoic78 [ Tue Apr 23, 2013 2:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Advice on Undecided Girl

That is good advice. Just little update. I actually texted her yesterday, Monday, and told her not to contact me until she is ready to pick up where we left off. I can't promise I will wait for her.

She responds back that she understands and that she hopes to talk to me sooner rather than later.

She hasn't been at bowling for three weeks or so as she normally just drops her guy off lately because all of what has been going on, but low and behold she comes inside the bowling alley last night. She saw me and smirked and then didnt look at me again. She was there for about 20 minutes and then she left.

I haven't contacted her at all and don't plan in contacting her until she contacts me. My friends seem to think that she will end up texting me by the end of the week. No idea if she will or not, but if she does do I ignore her?

I mean does this not contacting her thing actually work? Lol.

Author:  Mantissa00 [ Tue Apr 23, 2013 3:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Advice on Undecided Girl

This is a complicated one. Yeah it does work, but its always a balance, if shes so overwhelmed by her ex SPAM (She is bound to have strong feelings for her ex cos they were together for longer/moved in together) then not talking to her won't mean shit. So generally i'd say it would depend how far down the line she is with her ex (As in is she still in love with him or is she just clutching to a previous dream), and how your interaction was when you were together. She may come running back so i'd work on getting urself to a goodplace so that wen she does you can wow her off her feet. Having other girls around and as options is ALWAYS a good thing. You could try and set it up so you bring another girl to bowling to try and get her jealous. But at the end of the day, I'd say try and move on, play around and don't be too bothered by her. She will like you more for it.

Author:  Themagicalone [ Tue Apr 23, 2013 8:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Advice on Undecided Girl

Quote:
Damned woman, I don't know if she really liked you or just saw you as a rebound to get over her ex, I don't know. What I sure as hell know is do not give an ultimatum because she already chose. It'll then be like this: " Sorry im going back to my ex!" you : "Chose me or him" she: "I told you my ex" .

What I do suggest doing is going cold,distant and don't initiate any form of communication until she does it. Even if you see her at bowling again, be sure to have fun and let her see it. When she does initiate, reply, but ask her how its going with her and her bf and if she is still with him, ignore her, make it clear you don't want to be friends because you're not a pussy. Lets hope by that time you will have found another girl that 'll make you feel as good.
EXACTLY make her come to you, she'll break up with her bf soon enough again game other girls and have fun and make her contact you

Author:  Wizzay [ Wed Apr 24, 2013 9:32 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Advice on Undecided Girl

Follow my advice, its proven trough experience that it works many times, and I sincerely hope it will also work for you. Make sure to have fun in the meantime, and improve yourself in anyway possible, more girls, new haircut, new clothes, bowling skills, natural alpha mentality, anything. If she does contact you, be fun, there will be alot of tension, but tease her in the beginning, and later on if you see a chance, go like, so hows it with the bf/ex;). If she again is with him and trying something with you, what you don't want, i'd really consider forgetting her. You can only play games for so long..

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