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Can an alpha be...
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Author:  Fly_Swatter [ Sat Apr 13, 2013 3:22 am ]
Post subject:  Can an alpha be...
... an introverted loner? Or must he be popular, well known, and well appreciated by a good gathering? Discuss.
Author:  AmanteLatino [ Sat Apr 13, 2013 4:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Can an alpha be...
Quote:
... an introverted loner? Or must he be popular, well known, and well appreciated by a good gathering? Discuss.
Right of the bat, wolverine character, lol, first thing that come to mind after seeing the new upcoming movie trailer...
But don't, i don't think so. If much i would say the 'loners' in some regards are more alpha, they don't need the attention, don't seek approval, possess the ability and predisposition to carve their one paths. And think about, normally the alpha is seen from a position of power, control, the group leader, the CEO, it's mainstream common sense that this guys keep themselves somewhat 'separated' from the ones that gravitate around them, a way to maintain respect for being socially aloof...
Author:  Broseidon55 [ Sat Apr 13, 2013 5:17 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Can an alpha be...
for the purposes of seduction, he must be "popular, well known, and well appreciated by a good gathering" I'm a huge promoter of the importance of social proof.

Do I know awesome, incredibly manly, alpha dudes that I would go into combat with any day of the week? Absolutely. Does the alphaness of all these guys transfer over to social settings, leaving them with tons of women? Not for most.

Being in the military, I'm surrounded by alpha males. It's funny to see how these guys can shine in the most difficult, trying situations in military training, yet many of them can't tell their dick from their elbow when women come around.
Author:  Fly_Swatter [ Sat Apr 13, 2013 6:07 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Can an alpha be...
I'm actually of the position that you don't need to be popular. Otherwise, why would approximately half the human population have evolved to be introverts?

And since we're talking Hollywood... How about the big ass friendless orangutan in Rise of the Planet of the Apes?
Author:  .Sage. [ Sat Apr 13, 2013 6:22 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Can an alpha be...
1000x yes, I believe it can be done.

The stereotype "Strong but silent" and the character Edward from 'Twilight' come to mind when I think Alpha introvert. It's a different leader role but it exists, granted i'd say it's even harder to achieve than being that outright loud party guy.

It's all about building up your apparent value that everyone can see without you even saying a word. Be it through body build/Language, word use, friends(Your friends are awesome so you by default must be awesome), things you've done, whatever. You have SO MUCH VALUE, only a select group of people are lucky enough to experience how amazing you are, and everyone else just sits there and wonders what it would be like to be as cool as you. And of course girls love what they can't have.

All you've gotta do is actually have this value(of course) and have a decent conversation with anyone that speaks directly to you(Really just following the basic rules of engagement, i.e Nobody likes to be blown off, ignored, etc.), casually slipping in how high value you are, maybe even negging the target (For guys you just explain that you've done waaay more alpha stuff than they have). So when THAT person goes and talks about you, they will DHV you, and this will start a chain of effect....

Sounds complicated in theory, but it's really all standard stuff. Apparent value = Attraction

As Plato said,
"The wise man speaks when he has something to say. The fool speaks because he has to say something."

EDIT: I'll throw in "The law of least Effort" too, cause it works so well for natural introverts.
Author:  AmanteLatino [ Sat Apr 13, 2013 7:04 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Can an alpha be...
Quote:
I'm actually of the position that you don't need to be popular. Otherwise, why would approximately half the human population have evolved to be introverts?

And since we're talking Hollywood... How about the big ass friendless orangutan in Rise of the Planet of the Apes?
The current consumeristic way of thinking is pushing the society in a more individualized, narcissistic, introspective way o behaving. So, there is more and more introverted people. Texting, IM, internet social networks, online games and many other i-tech toys are robbing us from the healthy, natural interactions of the old days. People are succumbing to their anxieties, becoming more insecure, and therefore turning socially awkward instead of savvy.
But there is nothing alpha about this modern days mind-set, it's just a bunch of needy thirty year old children suffering from self infused asperger symptoms.

And about the appe.

Don't remember that one, lol, guess he didn't make make a good impression in me...
Author:  -grasshopper- [ Sat Apr 13, 2013 5:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Can an alpha be...
They definitely can be the 'loner' type. My brother is actually this way the way he likes it. But this is how he usually plays it.
He's silent when in a situation/Group of people. He doesn't say much but when the opportunity to speak presents itself he makes a funny comment or says something interesting.
The females at first think he's shy/weird then when they hear him speaking they think hey hes funny/interesting so they want to find out more about him then once he has their attention thats when he becomes the life of the party.


Me on the other hand I play the life as soon as i come in I start feeling people out. I talk to everyone to achieve a social popularity of just being known by everyone. I don't necessarily play the funny guy, but I play the krazy one. Pretty much the wild card so they never know what im going to say or do next. I like to keep them guessing.
They like it but it doesnt work for long term relationships.
Author:  Tr@veler [ Sat Apr 13, 2013 6:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Can an alpha be...
Look there is a difference between being a loner who takes action and a loner who sits at home all day playing games. I knew a guy, we went out a few times together, and he was a Russian living in London. He didn't have many friends because he was VERY honest, a little too honest and too aggressive about everything he said. At one point I even cut contact with him because we just weren't made for each other. However, he got laid a lot more than me. In fact, he was 21 and I'm sure he'd laid around the same number as his age.

He wasn't approval seeking in the slightest way, he was his own man and he literally did not care, so much so that his apartment was a mess and his life not really going anywhere at that point (however I heard he did do something about that now). But he was taking girls home left and right ;)

So yes it is possible. You can be introverted and confident, or introverted and insecure. If you're introverted and confident anything is possible. And even introverts "become" extroverts when they feel good and comfortable and just let loose. It can happen with me (I'm introverted, however when I let loose I can really be the fucking man) and it can happen with you.
Author:  TheAnimal [ Sat Apr 13, 2013 11:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Can an alpha be...
a loner wouldn't be the right word to describe an alpha, but i believe that a true alpha is a guy that can lead, dosent give a fuck about being popular because lets face it a real alpha does want he wants and people will automatically follow him, and see that he isnt seeking attention, attention is seeking him...
Author:  RuthlessRomantic [ Sun Apr 14, 2013 2:16 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Can an alpha be...
No one is quite as mysterious as a loner.

A loner is a natural leader because he's used to directing himself and not following others.

A loner probably has his own way of doing things and own style.

A loner does not have to be bothered with people they don't like.

A lone wolf has all great qualities except Status, and maybe status is just a bunch of bull shit anyway.
Author:  7000 [ Sun Apr 14, 2013 11:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Can an alpha be...
Have you never watched a cowboy film with Clint Eastwood? Plenty of "alpha loners" there.

I don't think popularity matters. I think people put too much emphasis on to the "social proof" stuff. Yeah it can help if you're the life of the party and you have some cool mates, but ultimately if you act like a goof when you've isolated a girl it doesn't matter how many cool friends you've got, she probably isn't going to be impressed.

"Loners" can be absolutely fine with women, as long as they can hold a conversation. There is a difference between being a loner and being shy. I don't think it's the best way, not least because it's easier to meet girls if you've got a good social life with lots of different people in it, but there is no reason why a loner can't create attraction with a woman.
Author:  Broseidon55 [ Mon Apr 15, 2013 1:40 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Can an alpha be...
Quote:
You have SO MUCH VALUE, only a select group of people are lucky enough to experience how amazing you are, and everyone else just sits there and wonders what it would be like to be as cool as you. And of course girls love what they can't have.
This type of person only exists in movies. I guess you could pull this off if you were extremely good looking. How can you lead anyone without saying anything?
Author:  Thedude_man [ Mon Apr 15, 2013 8:13 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Can an alpha be...
I've had more introverted 'loners' steal "my" women from me THAN any social butterfly.
Actually, no egregrous storyteller, or alphamale EVER stole a chick from me...(usually the oppposite)
EVER..
Yet, during the macks (unfortunaly more once, actually more than twice..ok more than that).
I've had the quiet 'MYSTERIOUS' type, steal their prey.
It's always been the f*cking introvert, who piqued her curiousity.
In MY specific case the quote below, has always been true.
"a guy talks to a girl to sleep with her..
a girl sleeps with a guy to talk to him"
The less you talk or reveil yourself, then the more she'll want to talk...

It got to the point where I PRETENDEd to be shy..(a went through a whole neil Strauss syndorome in that period as in 'Can't they love me for me'..)
Everytime I would talk and be mellow..They would be dissapointed.
As in 'what happened to the mysterious dude'
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